


Guns and Ammo

by idiedthedayirealizedidied



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol puns, All We Do, Alleyway drunk named John, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Angst and Fluff, Baking, Bands, Beauty and the Beast refernces, Cake, Cereal flavored coffee creamers??, Cheating (by ex), Coffee Shops, Coma, Cuddles, Dared dating, Drugs, Echo - Freeform, Emotionally distressed friend, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Forgot to tag ch10, Fun times mixed with bad, GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF VIOLENCE AT BEGINNING OF CH15, Goodbye to a World, Gun Mentioned, Haircut time, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, I don't know what else to tag rn, I swear its getting there i just don't know how to do it, I'm sorry about the terrible jokes, I'm terrible at making jokes I'm sorry, ITS GETTING THERE ERMERGERD, Irony, Its raining tacos, Kidnapping, Kill me later, Killing someone in a dream and being ecstatic about it, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Knock Knock, Mentioned Child Neglect, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Mentioned domestic abuse, Mentioned drugs and alcohol abuse, Milk And Cookies, More Drugs, Mystery Texter, Nightmare Before Christmas References, Nightmares, One piece anime, PTSD, Reader had been named now, Reader is college student? I think?, Readers got a tattoo by the way, Referenced Harry Potter, Referenced Suicide Attempt, References to Ouran High School Host Club, Reminiscing, Running, Running from your problems (again), Smoking, Tag, Teen titans reference, Temporarily wounded reader, Toddlers, WALL-E (2008) References, We're going on a trip in out favorite rocketship, Weird Time Shit, Who's there, You don't like this one at all, You finally get that cat, You get picked up off the side of the road by strangers, Your ex is a psychotic bitch, and the equivalent of no life, are those a thing??, bear with me its slow, because you play the piano, by your ex, cat hunting, congratulations if you've read 17 chapters worth of tags, death mentioned, duh - Freeform, dyed your hair, end of 10, escaping, ey look, ey new mystery person, failed aversion of ex, failed interpretation of a robot, family reunions of a family you thought you weren't apart of but actually are, flushing food down the toilet, glass breaking, happy fluffy crying time, i don't know where this is taking place, ill add tags and characters as i go since idk what this is, implied/referenced subconscious block, its an asshole, ive given up on jokes, kissssssss, kitties, mentioned self harm, meteor shower, more bad puns I'm sorry, more memories, moving apartments, moving time, no one talks about the incident, not literally tho, not yet, op people died, panic attack of sorts I guess, possible triggers, random world layout, reader remembers resets I guess, reader thinks its a good idea, screwdrivers, sick/comfort, skippable smut in ch50, sleeeeeeeeeeeeep, slow mind break I guess, smexy stuff, so is a random place, someones stalking you, stuff happens but not really, thats why its rated M now, the hell is Alex even doing, the real thing and the song, there's a dog, theres also a lot of songs, theres like three different chapters with the phrase "fucking aliens", theres no way to know if its in the United States Africa or australia, theres the possibility you ruined everything, tickle, uhhh, uhhhh, well shit, where the fuck are you, why is bohemian raphsody playing in my head while I tag thiss, yay, you finally tell pap you remember the resets, you got jumped in highschool, you have three fucking jobs, you hear someone having sex through the wall, you spoil children, you talk about your ex, your house got busted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 119
Words: 112,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiedthedayirealizedidied/pseuds/idiedthedayirealizedidied
Summary: /You stood there in shock, staring at the gunman. He had a blank look in his eyes. Like it was all routine. Like he was numb. You chuckled and choked on the blood building up in your lungs. It spit out of your mouth as you coughed and smiled at him, shakily bringing your hands up and clapping. Your chest throbbed. Your lungs burned as it drowned in blood from the open bullet wound.He stared at you blankly. His gun still pointed at you.You collapsed as everything went black.As everything disappeared./Book 1: "Guns and Ammo" chapters 1-52Book 2: "White and Black Keys" chapters 53-????





	1. Creative first title

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this is going so bear with me??? Uhh... If you come up with a better title than Guns and Ammo, do tell, cuz Idk if it fits this. Uhhhmmmm... Read at your own disgression cuz blood and possible triggers??? Not like self harm or suicide triggers, more like PTSD triggers?? Idk.

/You stood there in shock, staring at the gunman. He had a blank look in his eyes. Like it was all routine. Like he was numb. You chuckled and choked on the blood building up in your lungs. It spit out of your mouth as you coughed and smiled at him, shakily bringing your hands up and clapping. Your chest throbbed. Your lungs burned as it drowned in blood from the open bullet wound.  
He stared at you blankly. His gun still pointed at you.  
You collapsed as everything went black.  
As everything disappeared./

 

You gasped awake, clutching at your chest as you sat up. Pulling in gulps of breath that didn't satisfy your need for air. Your chest burned where the bullet had been. But there was no scar.  
It hadn't happened this run. Why did the nightmares start up again?  
You glanced around you at your dark and messy room. Counting objects and colors visible in the darkness, trying to ground yourself back to reality and get the gunman's face out of your head. It wasn't real this time. This time you weren't in a war, and you weren't fighting for your life against your fellow humans for a cause that you didn't even know. You weren't firing, reloading, and aiming a gun every minute.  
You were SAFE. And NONE OF THAT EVER HAPPENED.  
You repeated those lines over and over in your head like a mantra as you searched your pillows for your phone. It was under the pillow against the wall, connected to its charger. It vibrated in you hands as the little green light that said it was fully charged, switched to blue. You had a new message.  
Flopping onto your back, you woke up your phone and checked your message. It was from your buddy Barren. Or at least, that was what you called him. You don't remember his actual name, so you called him the thing that you came up with that seemed closest to whatever jumble of letters and noise that made up his name. 

barren  
Sept 11, 20XX 2:10am  
[Hey loser. You up?]

You debated on just not texting him back and trying to go back to sleep. But sadly, you had an iPhone, and were one of those people that had it so it sent read receipts when you saw the text. Sighing, you typed out a text. 

[Am now. Y? U forget Calc hw again r somethin.]

[no. Jus wondrin if u were actually serious about joining us on sunday to go see that war movie. Thought u didn't like that stuff?]

You blinked. Did you say that? You probably weren't paying attention when your mutual friend Bunby (again, a nickname given to her by you because you're shit with names) asked you.

[probably not dude. Didnt even know that was what she was askin for. Thought it was to watch Netflix r something at her house]

[lol yea. Well anyways, now that my curiosity has been sated, imma pass the info on to bunby and go back to bed see you at the usual spot]

You sighed as you tossed your phone to the floor. You weren't even going to try to go to sleep since you knew you were going to fail anyways. So instead, you sat up, slipped out of bed, and went and made yourself pancakes.  
Maybe, even with your severe lack of sleep, you could somehow make today good, and you'll start your efforts with pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh sorry about how its set up? Its 5 minutes to midnight and I wrote this on my shitty outdated iPod. Ill try and fix it later??? Or maybe ill keep this solely on my iPod and not fix it? You tell me if you want it fixed.


	2. They're late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're hungry and bored, and your friends are late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what this is...

Guns and Ammo ch2  
Your day was not going great. You felt exhausted. Yea, you hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, but that was normal. This was more like all of your energy was simultaneously sapped by someone. And you were mentally exhausted too. And nothing you did, music, food, whatever, could get you back on your mental feet. You just wanted to go to sleep.  
Actually no, scratch that. You wanted to go to your night classes (which were enjoyable in some odd way) at the university, and then you'd go and hole yourself up at a bar and play songs on a piano, and maybe have a few beers with the poker players.   
But as of right now, you were sitting at the usual spot waiting for your buddies. Who were taking FOREVER to get their sorry asses over here. It was roughly noon, and sad to say, even with the giant plate of pancakes you'd had at 3am, you were /starving/.  
You waited and stared at the far end of the park where a ferret monster that was late for whatever skittered along. Monsters had been on the surface for about two years, so right around the time you'd started college.   
The "usual place" was really just a little grove of trees at the city park. This is where you and Barren and Bunby had met up every single day since the three of you started college. Which, after two years, wasnt all that bad to have some friends to meet up with. Not that you hadnt had some before. It just made it complicated since you'd /purposely/ moved out of state and to Ebbot city.  
You checked your phone. 12:23. No new messages. You sighed, the calm nonchalant look on your face slipping into a frown as you sat on the ground. Them being late wasnt new, but they'd usually text you if they were busy. Maybe they'd just... Forgotten? Lucky them for being able to forget so easily. 

/Aim. Fire. Reload. Numb stares. Blood. Death./

You pushed your palms into your eyes, forcing the images out of your mind. You needed a distraction. Pulling out your phone, you pulled your headphones out and plugged them in, going to your music library and randomly selecting a song. You put your phone in your jacket pocket, pulled one leg up and rested your arm on your knee, closed your eyes and leaned your head against the trunk of the tree.  
You were almost tempted to sleep, had it not been for the fact that you were alone and at the park, you would have. The music played for long time. Or, what you felt was a long time, but was really only the average length of a song. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, but you felt no need to check it. Probably just a text from your friends saying they were on their way or something (at least, that's what you hoped it said...). You opened your eyes as the second song came to an end, and you started watching all the people wandering around.   
Nobody really caught your interest. Everyone was bland and boring. Not really doing anything that wasn't repetitive.  
You sat, and watched, and waited. Until a particular pair of monster caught your eye. They were skeletons. And the short one wearing mostly blue, looked like he was at the end of his wits with the tall one in orange. The blue one seemed to be ranting with the way he was waving his hands and looking upset. The orange one had a laid back smile and a cigarette propped between his teeth. He seemed to be purposely ticking the little blue one off.  
Mr. Orange seemed familiar for some odd reason.  
You snickered as the blue skeleton rounded on the taller in agitation and stomped his foot. They were probably one of those odd pairs of friends where one likes picking on the other just to get a reaction they can laugh at, and the other rolls their eyes in exasperation at their friends antics. But you honestly couldn't care less. You could be completely off base and they could be siblings or something.  
Your phone vibrated and you checked it.

BunBy  
Sept 11, 20XX 12:45pm  
[ANSWER YOUR PHONE]

You chuckled as you scrolled back up the chat and read her previous messages.

12:30  
[riles. Whatcha wanna eat]

12:33  
[riley?]

12:38  
[are you dead?]

12:38  
[we're on the way]

12:40  
[barren is convinced your dead. Answer your phone.]

12:43  
[Riley Petrovich.]

And then there was the one you'd read first. Bunby was an energy bug. And was very capable and willing to blow up your phone until you answered. She was like a child that wanted every piece of candy in the store and will throw a tantrum to get it. Except, she's not that bad. She's really nice, and happy, and bubbly. And pretty much everything you are currently incapable of faking.  
They were probably only a few minutes away, so you decided to get up. Dusting off your pants, you looked up and around and almost got hit in the face by a frisbee, to which was closely followed by a large dog that clearly had its eyes on the prize as it pretty much ran you over. Once again on the ground, you decided to be a child and lay there and pout until your friends showed up.  
You didn't get to lay there in peace for long, soon you felt the vibrations of someone very excitable running over to your motionless body.  
/You couldn't breathe. Everything hurt. Everything burned. The sky was alight in flames. And you couldn't get away. The vibrations of someone running close by-/  
"HUMAN! ARE YOU OKAY!?" An extremely loud voice somehow yelled over your music. Your eyes flew open as you sat up, and smacked your forehead into someone else's. Whoever's head that was, was hard as a rock.  
You pulled out your headphones and turned around to look at the person you'd bumped heads with... er... Skull with? The blue skeleton from earlier was crouched close to the ground, rubbing his forehead. You blinked at him as he looked up at you with a giant smile.   
"IM SORRY HUMAN. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" You stared at him for a second before nodding. He beamed. "THAT'S GOOD." He stuck his hand out at you. "I'M THE MAGNIFICENT SANS." You chuckled, of course this bubbly blue skeleton had a title. You shook his hand as you replied with a simple "Riley." He stood up again as you unplugged your headphones, bundled them up, and shoved them in your pocket. You got up yourself as Sans' orange buddy walked over. Sans turned to him excitedly. "PAPY! THIS IS RILEY!" The orange fellow chuckled. "well alright bro." He looked up at you. "you alright Riley? Kinda looked like that dog dug your grave." Sans glared at him, for what, you couldn't tell. Shrugging, you nodded. "Yea, I'm fine." He nodded as he stuck out his hand. "im Papyrus by the way, but you can call me Stretch." You reached out to shake his hand, at exactly the same time a person slammed into you and brought you back down to the ground in a hug.   
"Riley! You're not dead!" Your energetic friend Bunby said as you sat up and stared at the bubbly being who was somehow already on her feet. She dragged you too your feet as Barren showed up and just casually waved. You rolled your eyes. "Heard you were convinced I was dead. Shouldn't you be the one dragging me to the ground in a beat hug?" Barren glared at you as his brown face turned a little but red. Barren was an African American with dreadlocks and who could be mistaken for a stoner. And Bunby was his opposite, she was of Scottish blood and had curly blue pastel pigtails.   
Bunby looked at Sans and Papyrus and proceeded to thank them for "keeping you out of trouble." Even though you hadn't done anything for the past 40 minutes.  
Barren ran a hand down his face at Bunby's excessive thanking. He looked at you and you shrugged. He snorted and grabbed Bunby by the arm, waving at the two skeletons before dragging her away. You sighed, she was an overexcited handful. Waving goodbye to the skeletons, you followed your friends.


	3. Creative third title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to work  
> Everything's fine  
> Till you leave  
> Why can't you forget?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't know what I'm doing.

Guns and Ammo ch3  
The bar wasnt loud and noisy as most would assume. The place was primarily a monster bar (with some humans here and there), being as it was hidden among the many buildings, and didnt have any stand out neon signs. It was calm, with groups of people keeping to themselves (mostly college students wanting to take a break). Grillby was working the bar, serving food and drinks to the few patrons that had decided to sit there, and a few other employees (mainly humans) helped bus the other tables. It kinda seemed more like a diner than a bar, but it was a bar, with its alcoholic drinks and side dishes. There was a dude in an orange hoodie that was there today too. You're pretty sure they're a regular. They usually ordered fries and honey. You couldn't tell if it was the skeleton from earlier that day, but you didn't really care to go up and ask. Who they were was really none of your business.   
Grillby waves at you as you went up to the stage and set up your keyboard. This was what you did. And you made quite a bit of money at $10-$15 a song, varying on length. And it easily payed rent since you worked 4 days out of seven from 11-3am, doing 15-20 songs a night. It was easy to make more than a hundred bucks.  
You walked up to the bar, well, not the bar but a section of it where the waiters collected the drinks and food. You passed a table full of dog monster playing poker, and they greeted you as you passed, you waved at them with a smile. Grillby handed you a sheet of paper with a list of songs, and a bottle of water. You smiled at him too before going back to the stage and sitting in front of your keyboard. Skimming the list of songs, you set the paper down on the ground underneath your water bottle, set your hands on the keys, and started to play.

 

You played a trio of songs, with some time in between so you didn't go through too quickly. They were all sad ones. Someone here must've been feeling depressed to request them. But they kinda made you feel better. Helped you back onto your mental feet. Here was like a haven to you for some reason. It was calming, and felt safe. Safer than outside where anything could go wrong, where a car could make you see smoke and blood, and hear the firing of automatic rifles. Here, the outside world was muffled by bulletproof windows (they'd gotten bulletproof windows after a monster hater found the place and threw a stool through it), and the only noise was the chatter of people, your piano, and the very soft and hardly audible sound of Grillby's flame.   
You looked at the list of songs again while downing half the bottle of water. You usually went through about six of them before the night was out. Committing the next one to memory, you pulled out your phone and went to the back room. You'd sit here for maybe 10 minutes before going back out and playing the next four.  
The back room was small and only really had a couch and a coffee table in it. Whoever had decorated the place obviously hadnt spent a lot of time on it. The walls had a few of those inspirational wall hangings that you'd get at Hobby Lobby or someplace like that. The couch was dark gray with a few pillows and a blanket folded on the armrest, and the coffee table was wood with a few nicks and burns. You sat down in your corner (you claimed it. End of story.) of the couch, and waited out the next ten minutes.  
Going back out, you were almost back to the stage when a very large exclamation of "HUMAN" made you turn and look towards the people. You hadn't even spotted him before you were hit by the small force of blue, and trapped in a tight hug. You looked down at Sans as he stepped away. "HUMAN! I DIDNT KNOW YOU WORKED HERE!" You chuckled, "Well how could you? We only met a few hours ago and I didn't tell you I worked here." He paused for a second before laughing. "MWEH HEH HEH I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT HUMAN!"  
What a funny little guy.... You internally chuckled and turned back towards the stage. "Well Sans, I'd better get back to work. Don't wanna give people a rum for their money." Grillby was standing close by, getting someone a rum and coke, and he gave you a look before rolling his eyes and chuckling. Sans stared at you for a minute as you walked onto the stage before it hit him and he let out a long suffering groan, mumbling something along the lines of "not you too." Though you didn't know what that meant, you were fairly proud of yourself as you sat down and began to play.

The night passed in much the same manner. You'd play 3-5 songs, go sit in the back room, or go talk with the patrons you knew, like the group of dogs that stayed till midnight playing poker, or Sans who was only there for about an hour and a half before dragging the orange clad person (who you concluded was Papyrus) out of the bar. 3am seemed to come too soon as it was time for you to pack up and go home.  
The road was dark, and it was sprinkling. You felt uneasy as you walked, your hand in your jacket, gripping your pocket knife. Normally you wouldn't be walking alone, but Barren had work tonight, and Bunby had morning classes so she was always asleep by now.   
/Dark night. Rain poured from the sky. Footsteps alongside yours. Grip tight on your pistol.   
It was never safe. Keep your guard up.  
Footsteps behind yours./

You spun around, scanning your surroundings for anyone, anyTHING, that could be the cause of putting you on edge. But there was nobody, nothing. You couldn't feel a pair of eyes staring at you, and you hadn't felt it before. Why cant you just forget it? Taking a deep breath, you scanned your surroundings again before turning around and crossing the street.

You got to your apartment building just as the rain started to come down harder. Your apartment was on the 5th floor, so you took the elevator up. Getting to your apartment, you went in and went to the kitchen table, pulling your laptop out of your bag.   
Time to do homework.


	4. Picnics and backfiring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're invited to a picnic  
> Car backfiring doesnt sit well with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me a lot these last 3 hours. Sorry if its crappy.

/Gun shots echoed through the air. You were running. You shouldn't have gone ahead. You should've stayed with your team.  
You rounded a corner and skidded to a stop. You were too late. The bodies of your comrades lay scattered, bleeding from various wounds. But that didn't matter. They were dead.  
You looked up at the ones who just killed your friends. They all wore the same crazy smile anyone did after a successful kill. They were looting the bodies and they hadn't seen you yet. Keeping your eyes on them, you pulled out your trusty pistol, silenced it, aimed, and fi-/ 

It's raining tacos  
From outta the sky  
Tacos, No need to ask why  
Just open your mouth  
And close your eyes  
It's raining tacos

You abruptly sat up, knocking your book to the ground as your phone started singing It's Raining Tacos. What an odd way to wake up from a nightmare. And right before you're about to kill some people too. You shook your head with a snort as you shoved your hand into your pockets to retrieve your phone.  
You knew exactly who was calling, and it was for that reason you had set his ringtone to It's Raining Tacos. You swiped the screen to answer.

"Good eve Sans."  
"Hi Human Riley! Its 11am, Not Evening." You blinked. Was it really? You looked towards your window, which was covered by blackout curtains, so that didn't really help matters much. Blaming it on the curtains, you got up and stretched.

"Good point. What's up?"  
"Me And Papy And Some Other Friends Are Having A Picnic! I Was Wondering If You Wanted To Come!" Picnic? Your stomach growled at the prospect of food.

"Sure dude. Ill come. Anything I need to bring?"  
"Nope! Just Yourself. It's At City Park At 1!"  
You committed the time and place to memory as you said your goodbyes and hung up. Picking your book up off the floor, and you closed it, not bothering to mark your place. You didn't really care. You didn't like the book that much anyways. It was probably the cause of why you'd dreamt what you did, since it was a war story and you'd fallen asleep reading it. You tossed the book onto the kitchen counter as you prepped your coffee before going to your room and finding a good outfit for a picnic in October. 

You stared yourself in the bathroom mirror, still primarily covered in steam. Your curly short platinum blonde was still damp, and stuck up in all directions from being roughly run over by your towel. Your hazel eyes were ringed by dark circles from your out of whack sleep schedule. You stared at yourself for another minute as you put deodorant on. Then you fixed your hair into something that was relatively presentable but still messy, and covered the rings under your eyes with concealer.  
Slipping across the hardwood floors of your apartment, you went into the kitchen, and drank the entire pot of coffee. No sweetener. No sugar. No mug. Just the entire thing. Living alone had its benefits. You could do whatever you wanted. And apparently, you wanted to drink an entire pot of coffee at noon, and then hunt down the rest of the things you needed like your jacket. That had everything else in it.  
12:15 and you were out the door and walking to the park. You had a car, you just didn't drive it. You were in walking distance of pretty much everything you needed. So why waste gas and money?  
It was a beautiful day outside. The leaves of trees were changing color and falling to the ground, birds sang songs as they flew about and ate insects. It was chilly, and you could just barely feel it through your old and well worn jacket.  
You jumped as a car passing by backfired. It sounded like a gunshot, and your hand flew to your pocket knife in your pants pocket before realizing that it was the car. Taking a deep breath, you pulled your hand away from your knife and shoved it into your jacket pocket. You entered the park and started looking for the skeletons.  
Fortunately, you didn't need to search that hard, since the loud sound of Sans led you straight to them. They were with a group of monsters, and a single other human. Papyrus was closest to you, so you walked up next to him.  
"Knock knock," you said.  
"Who's there?"  
"Lucky."  
"Lucky who?"  
"Lucky I found you guys. There's a lot of people here today." You both snickered at the terrible joke. The two of you had started talking at the bar during your breaks. Nothing big, just simple 'Hey how are ya's and jokes. Then they gradually grew into longer conversations and you grew to like him. He was funny and chill.  
Sans eventually spotted you and came over. He greeted you, then dragged you away to go meet the other people.  
The human was Chara, ambassador of monsters (which you should have guessed from the news when monsters first showed up, but you'd been a bit too busy with college.). Next were two female monsters, Undyne, a blue fish with red hair, glasses and a stutter, and Alphys, a yellow lizard with an eye patch and a very excitable and loud personality. After that were a few other monsters that you immediately forgot the names of and you felt bad for. Then there was Asgore. A big fluffy goat monster with a kind heart and a chill attitude. After him, you were introduced to everyone, and free to mingle and chat, and you somehow got caught up in a conversation with Undyne about coffee. You have no idea how that started.  
Food came and went, and you played Frisbee with Chara, Sans, and Alphys, and it got a bit competitive. It was fun, hanging out with more than two people and a box of pizza. You were happy to be there.  
Until you heard another car backfire and you damn near dropped your slice of pie and had to play it all off as uncharacteristic clumsiness, and not like you were going to reach for your knife.  
Your smiles became a bit strained, and you suddenly wished you weren't here. You could feel Papyrus' eyelights following you around as you interacted. You wish they'd stop, and that you hadn't made eye contact with him in that brief second you'd "stumbled." His gaze going from chill and relaxed, to curious and watchful.


	5. Milk and Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee shops and names  
> RUN  
> Midnight snacks with a Halloween decoration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still have no idea what I'm doing. And its past midnight again.

You sat at the coffee shop, alone. Watching people go about their day, buying coffee and leaving, or going and sitting down at a table. You counted faces. Names came out of nowhere. James, Mariah, Jesse, Percy. They didn't come from nowhere. You could see their dead and bleeding bodies in your mind's eye, but you couldn't figure out if they were your friends, or people you'd fought against. But that didn't matter, they didn't matter. That never happened.  
So why were you so worried? Wrong word. You didn't know what you felt. But it wasn't good.  
Why were you even at the coffee shop in the first place? It certainly wasn't to count faces. And you wouldn't be sitting here if it was just for coffee. You didn't know, but you felt inclined to stay. To just sit there, and watch. Your mind focused on the music coming from the ceiling speakers as your eyes followed people around the room.  
You don't know how long you sat there.

 

It was the Sunday after the picnic with Sans and his friends. And you didn't have classes or work, again. You also had zero plans since Barren had a paper to write, Bunby had work, and you don't think you can handle Sans right now.  
You'd been at the coffee shop until the lunch rush hit and you realized you'd been there entirely too long and your coffee had gone cold. You'd been tempted to go up and order another one but was drawn out of there by the strange need to just RUN. And with what's been going through your head and claiming your nightmares, you supposed it was a good thing to do. Blow off some steam.  
You'd run until you were gasping for breath, in a less panicked way than when you wake up, but you'd still kinda forgotten that you needed to breath at a constant rate while running. So there you were, sitting on the front steps of your apartment building, trying to remember how to breath properly.  
"Lookin' pretty winded down there."  
Your head snapped up at the sound of Papyrus' voices. He stood in front of you in his signature hoodie, with his trademark grin, and a cigarette between his teeth. You remembered smoking them too, as you sat somewhere with a gun in your lap.  
You rolled your eyes. "Fancy runnin' into you down here." Whatever accent slipped into your voice and made 'fancy' sound like 'funcy.' It made the both of you snort.  
He dislodged the cigarette from his mouth and blew out a puff of smoke. "What's up?" You watched the smoke curl into the late afternoon sky, and shrugged. "Nothin' much. Just chillin' now." He nodded as you stood.  
The two of you stood in silence for a few minutes. Him smoking his cigarette and watching you, and you watching his smoke curl into the air. It was strangely comforting.  
A car backfired, someone shouted out their window, glass broke as an alleyway drunk dropped his bottle. And your tranquility snapped as it all too much resembled someone getting shot through the window of a building.  
/The world around you exploded in a cacophony of noise and white light. Your back hitting the wall as you lifted a sub-machine gun and pulled the trigger./  
Your head snapped in the direction of the alleyway drunk as your hand flew from your side, to your pocket, ready to pull out your knife. You didn't relax until you could breathe again, until the alleyway drunk had gone back inside his alleyway (his name was John. You don't know why you remember. But you remember him teaching you how to throw knives during the war. Maybe that was why you remembered exactly who he was? Because he taught you something that saved your life?). You looked back at Papyrus. He was watching you with the same curious gaze as the picnic.  
"Are you okay?" He asked. You nodded with a fake smile. You couldn't tell if he could tell your smile was fake and strained. You were fine.  
He didn't believe you.

**~~~~~~**

It was midnight and you were still awake., sitting at your desk, staring out the window and into the streets below. Cars drove up and down the road, and some people walked alone down the sidewalks.  
Your phone vibrated, your music temporarily quieting as the notification sounded. You checked it, half expecting it to be Barren asking for help on something or other. It wasn't.

Skeledude  
Oct 8, 20XX 12:15am  
[hey]

It was a simple text that held more meaning than just a hello. It was a question of whether or not you were up. And you were, so you answered.

[sup]

[nun much. couldn't sleep tho. u?]

[really? thought that you'd sleep like the dead, being a skeleton and all.  
and same.]

[its a grave time indeed. For at night is when the monsters come out, and the skeletons rise from their graves and go]  
The text ended there, and you were about to send "?" back when your phone buzzes in your hands with a call from the skeleton. You answered.  
"Boo." You snorted. So that's why he ended the text.  
"Is that seriously the only reason you did that?"  
"Yea. Pretty much." He sounded tired. But then again, you probably do too. The line was silent for a moment before you heard him sigh.  
"Somethin' wrong?" You asked.  
"No. Just tired. And wondering."  
"Wondering what?"  
"Is it worth it to get up and go to the store to buy Oreos and milk." You snickered as you stood up from your chair and moved to your bed, proceeding to flop into it.  
"Its always worth it to go get milk and cookies. Like seriously. Its Milk and Cookies." Milk and Cookies by Melanie Martinez started rolling in your heads, and your unoccupied hand moved along your bed like a piano, pressing invisible keys to the beat of the song.  
Papyrus chuckled on the other end of the line. "Then I guess that settles it then. I'm going to get milk and Oreos at 12:30am." You heard the rustling of fabric. He'd probably been laying in bed like you are now. "You want some?" You thought for a second. Now it was your turn to contemplate if it was worth it to leave, but it was milk and cookies. You weren't going to pass it up. "Sure. Wanna meet somewhere?"  
You got off your bed as the two of you agreed to meet at Wendy's, and hung up. You pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before putting on your shoes, grabbing your important things (keys, wallet, knife, etc.), and walking out the door.  
The night air was cold against your face, and it felt refreshing compared to the warmth of your apartment. You walked, footsteps quiet to listen for any pursuit. There was none the entire way to the Wendy's. Papyrus stood outside with a bag that had a carton of milk, and a pack of Oreos. You walked up to him with a snort. "You could've gone inside y'know." He shrugged as the two of then went inside. "I could have. But I didn't."  
To not just be a couple of loiterers, you went up and ordered two 10pc chicken nuggets. Milk, Oreos, and nuggets. Your three favorite foods. Besides ramen and ice cream that is.  
You sat down across from Papyrus and handed him one of the cups that was supposed to hold a soda, but was now instead going to hold milk. He filled yours up with milk too. The package of Oreos was open between the two of you. They were double stuffed. The two of you chatted as you ate cookies and chicken nuggets, and it eventually dissolved into a comfortable silence.  
Nothing interrupted it this time, though Papyrus was still watching you anyways. You watched him too, though you didn't know why. The two of you just did.  
It started to get a little awkward when you lost your cookie in your milk and you looked away to curse at the chocolate cookie goodness as it sunk to the bottom of your cup. You couldn't look at him for longer than a few seconds after that, and you started up another conversation.


	6. Sleep is for the weak..... But you're weak.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't sleep.  
> You don't want to go through it again and have no control.

You were so tired, but you didn't want to sleep. It was dangerous. Sleeping could get you killed. Sleeping wasn't safe anymore. You needed to say awake. Can't sleep. Don't want to die. Don't want to pull the trigger. Maybe someone else will? No. No sleeping.  
You shook your head, trying to stay awake as you stared at the tv screen. A documentary about aliens playing on the history channel. You grabbed your cup of coffee off the coffee table and took a sip. It was bitter, and black as the curtains blocking the outside sun. You got up, and opened them, almost tripping over your own feet on the way. The presunset light filled your apartment in a bright warm glow. You wandered into the kitchen, refilling your mug with coffee.  
A loud persistent buzzing filled the room, emanating from your phone on the counter. Fifth call today. You don't know who its from. But you don't really care right now. You just need to focus on staying awake.  
It buzzes again.  
And again.  
And again.  
Till the sound became so annoying, you answered it out of spite. "Hello?" You said in the most pissed off voice you could manage.  
"Woah tiger, calm down." Barren. It was Barren. You pulled your phone away to look at the call logs. They weren't all from Barren. 2 from him. 3 from Bunby. 2 from Sans, and 1 from an unknown caller, and the only one to leave a message.  
"Anyways cupcake," jeez the pet names. "Bunby's freaking out." You snorted.  
"Oh? And that's my problem?"  
"Yeeeaaaaa.... She's worried about you. Been driving her up the wall. I'm honestly surprised you answered my call anyways." You sipped on your coffee. "Got tired of my phone going off. Got like eight calls. Thought they were all from the same person." You suppressed a yawn.  
"Huh. Oh well. Should I hand you over to Bunby?" You snorted. You didn't want her mothering you because she was worried. You hung up. Bit of a dick move but eh. He'll live. The phone found itself muted and placed back on the counter.  
You left your coffee on the table and went to take a shower. That would wake you up enough to get through your classes. And then you can cruise into autopilot and play music for a bunch of people.

The professor's words blended together into white noise as you stared blankly at the textbook in front of you. This was your second class. 90 minutes of astronomy. You liked the stars. They were the one thing that never seemed capable of harming you, then, and now.  
"Humans...some form of astronomy. For thousands....observing only the light.... instruments, such as astrolabes or telescopes...." He was speaking, but you only actually heard some of it. And what you did hear didn't piece together properly without the rest of the information in between.  
You stopped trying to hide your yawns after the third one that came out mutated with a sneeze. It was getting tiring. So was staying awake. You blinked owlishly at the professor as he scribbled words on the board. You were glad your phone was recording the lecture from the safety of right in front of you. You could takes notes later on what he said.

It was cold, being around the middle of October, that made sense, but you were still annoyed by it. Little specks of white floated around and down in front of your face. Snow. You smiled. Maybe not so much annoyed. Snow was nice. Not ice though. Ice cracked your skull open at the age of 16 while learning how to ice skate on a frozen lake with some friends. You wondered how they were doing, but you didn't really care. They were probably fine. They were always fine.  
The bar was about as populated as usual, and you got your usual greetings from the regulars. Papyrus waved at you from his stool, you tiredly waved back and went to the stage. "Goodbye to a World" was your first song, and you were okay with it. The song eased you in with the atmosphere. It was your favorite out of the entire list people could choose from.  
Third batch of songs, gone and passed, and you sat in the stool next to Papyrus. Right now, you two weren't talking, and you were alright with that. Yawning, you stretched, and casually stole a French fry from him. He mock gasped and glared at you. "Well I'll be fried!" You rolled your eyes as you stuck it in your mouth. "What'll you do Mr. Potatohead? You gonna mash me up?" God these were terrible. You yawned again as he opened his mouth to answer. His grin turned into a frown. "When was the last time you slept Riley? Like c'mon, I know sleep is for the weak, but you gotta do it sometimes." Your head lolled on your shoulder and you looked at him. "That implies that you haven't slept either. And honestly," you shrugged, grinning as your favorite type of language came forth. "The clock stopped ticking forever ago." He blinked at you, a look of unease passing over his features. You blinked at him. "What? You never heard Echo?" He shook his head. You stole another fry.  
"You never answered my question."  
"Yea I did."  
"Song lyrics don't count."  
"But it's a legit answer."  
"No its not. Answer the question."  
"Why don't you answer it first. If sleep is for the weak, then surely you mustn't be weak. So when was the last time you slept?"  
"Earlier. Like noon. Took a nap."  
You rolled your eyes as you got up. "Lazybones." The word hadn't fully left your mouth yet when the world seemed to start spinning. Your vision faded to black, you felt your knees give.  
You don't think you hit the ground.

/The sun was high in the sky. Alex was walking next to you. He looked like you. Made sense since he was your brother. The two of you were in the lead, the rest of your little band of fighters fanned out behind you. That way, if you were attacked, there was the chance someone could get away.  
The city was in ruins. Buildings that had once been skyscrapers, were now the size of the average apartment building. Little coffee shops hidden on corners were crushed under their neighbors. The air was rancid with old decay.  
It got worse. The sky grew darker. /

You woke up in a house that was definitely not your own. And you could tell by just the smell of the couch you were currently laying on. It smelled like honey, tacos, and cleaning stuff. Definitely not your couch. Sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes, they felt dry and puffy. The house around you was clean, minus the singular sock on the floor with a bunch of sticky notes attached to it. Your jacket was over the back of the couch, which was lumpy and green and oddly comfortable in a confusing sort of way. The tv in front of you was on, and the volume turned down low.  
You got off the couch and stretched. You should've probably been a bit more on edge, but the scent of honey and tacos was reassuring, and gave you a vague idea of who's house you'd ended up at, even if you'd never actually been to it.  
A voice from behind you had you lazily looking over your shoulder. "Can you answer the question now?" You could hear the grin in his voice. "When was the last time you slept?" You snorted and face palmed, not missing a beat. "And your asking this even though there is a very high probability that you just sat in that chair," you pointed at the love seat. "And watched me sleep?"  
He chuckled, "Great way to make it sound creepy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And its once again midnight.  
> Anyone wanna see more of Alex?? Dead or alive?? Dream or reality??  
> So many possibilities~~~~  
> Hakuna Matata


	7. Once in a life time chance to punch an asshole in the face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title. Tho that's only about a 3rd of it.

At some point around 5 in the morning, you ended up at the skeleton's table, eating a bowl of lucky charms. You'd gone back to sleep after you're conversation with Papyrus about whether or not he'd sat in the love seat and watched you after bringing you here. You'd woken up again, thankfully not freaking out from a nightmare, and you had sat there for a good hour before deciding you should leave. At four am. You hadn't made it through your shift before passing out. How sad.  
You didn't even make it to the door before you heard Papyrus on the stairs. The two of you stepped outside, and he lit a cigarette. The smoke curling into the air with some sort of majestic quality that was lacked in the smoke from the flames of disaster. You couldn't help but stare at it. Papyrus wouldn't let you leave. Not at 4am, and not alone. So that's how you found yourself at the dinner table eating a bowl of lucky charms.  
Papyrus had a cup of coffee and was scrolling through his phone, for once, not staring at you with some odd curiosity that you still couldn't figure out, and you felt to awkward asking about it. Not like you could just go up and say "Hey I noticed you've been staring at me a lot, what's it about?" Well.... You could go up and do that, but you weren't going to. If he had a question, he'd ask it himself. You stared at the rainbow marshmallow before scooping it up with your spoon and shoving it in your mouth.  
The outer layer, the part that had absorbed milk first, was squishy, and easily gave way to the pressure of your tongue pushing it against the roof of your mouth. That layer disappeared and the harder, crunchier part grated against the roof of your mouth as you did the same thing until it turned soft. You swallowed it. That was a weird habit you'd started doing when you were younger, finding it fun to feel the marshmallow deflate on your tongue. You still found it fun, in an odd childish way.  
The milk tasted like sugar. Maybe you could add it to coffee? The milk stared back at you. No emotion. Why would it have emotion!? Its milk! You set the idea aside and downed the bowl of milk. You can think about cereal flavored creamers later. Right now you... Had nothing else to do, besides possibly go home. Your phone was dead, and you kinda hoped Bunby had blown up your inbox.  
You stared at your empty bowl for a minute before looking up at the skeleton at the table. He looked up from his phone and chuckled. "You can get more cereal if yo-" You didn't let him finish before you pretty much blurted out your idea. "Cereal flavored creamers." He stared at you, blinked, and then chuckled. "Well all right. If you're cereal about this, then I'll help you milk the rewards."  
Both of you jumped as a loud groan from the staircase followed Papyrus' puns. "REALLY PAPY? NOW? ITS TOO EARLY FOR THIS." Sans said as he walked into the kitchen. You chuckled, tempted to make a pun, but refraining because you knew it was going to be absolutely terrible. Sans started getting pans and stuff out to make breakfast. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN UP ANYWAYS? YOU'RE USUALLY STILL ASLEEP." Papyrus smiled, "You're right bro, I'm usually dead to the world." Sans groaned, and further chose to ignore him and turned his questions to you. "SO HUMAN RILEY, DID YOU SLEEP WELL?" You shrugged, "About as well as I could with nigh- insomnia." Barely catching yourself before spilling the beans on the biggest problem you have, but you figured Papyrus caught on to your hesitation with the look he gave you. Sans didn't notice, and just nodded. "WELL THAT'S ALRIGHT. JUST MEANS YOU GOTTA SLEEP MORE." You couldn't help but snort at his easier-said-than-done answer.  
You checked the time. You felt you over stayed your welcome. Becoming tense yourself as the fridge clock read out 5:55. Grabbing your bowl, you stood up, went over to the sink, and washed it. The silence should have felt comforting, but it wasn't. It made you feel uneasy and tense, especially with the almost-slip up.  
Why were you lying about everything now?  
Because none of it ever happened. Nobody would believe you if you told them. Say it was all just a made up story to scare children. But you can't make up trauma. And you can't erase the feeling of yourself dying. Or the vision of friends and family dying before your eyes. Of you suffering through two years of chaos and pain that you couldn't end until the gunman shot you. Ended you himself. That's why you clapped. 'Cause he did something nobody else could, and it had actually been an accident. Well, not an accident, you'd just gotten in the way.  
You numbly set the bowl and spoon on the dry rack and headed back into the living room, grabbing your jacket off the back of the couch and pulling it on. You said your goodbyes, declining any invitation to stay, and you walked out the front door. Your feet falling into autopilot, but you had the vague suspicion they weren't going to take you home. 

The coffee shop was busy this morning. Like it was last time you were here. But at least the queue was no longer running out the door.  
You sat at the same table as last time, and did the same thing as last time, you sat and watched people, and drank coffee. You also had a pack of MnMs.  
Monsters and humans came and went, angry customers made calm ones wait while they yelled at the barista over something.  
Time seemed to disappear as you sat there with MnMs and coffee. Not like you had anything important to do. And you didn't need to meet The B twins at the Usual Spot until about 1 when you'd all go and see some movie. Your phone buzzes in your pocket. Standard vibration. No one important. It vibrated again as a lady around the age of 21 came over to you looking very nervous. "Hey, there's this creep trying to pick me up. Do you mind if I sit with you?" You smiled at her and motioned to the empty seat across from you. "Not at all my friend." She smiled and sat down, you looked around at the other people in the coffee shop, and immediately found the creep. He was currently occupied with arguing with the barista over some sort of pastry. You knew it was him because he repeatedly looked over at you and the lady throughout his conversation.  
You turned to the lady and started a conversation. Her name was Emily Pratt. Her favorite color was blue. Yes she came here often. She's seen you here quite a few times and thought you might be a regular, cementing her courage to ask you for assistance. She had a tabby cat named Worm that she'd got off of Craigslist. She most definitely thought you were a guy.  
You were explaining the tattoo of a star nebula on your arm when Mr. Creepy came over. He paid you no mind as he turned to Emily and started talking to her. You could tell she was uncomfortable and didn't want this man around herself.  
You tapped his shoulder. "'Ey buddy, the girl wants you to leave her alone. So why dontcha do that and go pick on someone else that's more likely to choose your ugly mug." Mr. Creepy spun around. "Why don't you mind your own business?" Your hand wrapped around your knife, keeping it closed, but ready just in case you needed to add a bit of incentive. You grinned. "Because I don't like people like you. And the lady wants you to leave her alone. It would be polite if you did." He glared at you. "How about you shut up and go on your way. I'm kinda in the middle of something." He turned back to Emily, placing his hand on her shoulder, his grip tight.  
You side-eyed the staff, they were watching, tense with apprehension. You mouthed a quick sorry to them before you turned back to Mr. Creepy, your irritation and annoyance clear on your face. Emily looked at you. Your not-so-olderly-sibling instincts kicked in, and you socked the guy in the face, your knife still in your hand, making the impact harder. He stumbled back holding his nose and looked up at you with a glare. You gave him a death glare.  
"I already asked you twice to leave her alone," your voice was low and dangerous. "And it was clear that she wanted you to leave her alone to, and you blatantly ignored both. Now, I'm going to ask you one more time to Leave. Her. Alone." He stood to his full height. "And what makes you think I'm going to listen to a stupid little guy like you."  
You snorted, took a step forward, and punched him in the gut, right over his diaphragm, before bringing your knee up into his balls, and then kicking him in the chest, and to the ground. Three hits, delivered in quick succession knocked the wind out of him and caused him a lot of pain. Satisfied with the guy on the floor trying to get up while clutching his crotch and trying to breath again, you grabbed your coffee cup off the table and dumped the rest of it on him.  
Turning to Emily, you held out your hand, which she took, and you pulled her up out of the booth. You placed a 10 in the tip jar on your way out, tossing another quick sorry to the staff over your shoulder. You led Emily down the road a few blocks before the two of you parted ways, after she gave you her number.  
You checked the time. 12:07. Turning on your heel, you started walking to the park. You took your time. Bunby and Barren were going to be late anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one had been rolling around in my skull for a while now. At least the Mr. Creep part was. Kinda just wanted reader to punch someone in the face.
> 
> And who's the mysterious caller from last chapter, and the seemingly unimportant text message?


	8. Mysteries and your lease is up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystery Texter has sent more texts over the pass week, though no more calls since that first one on the day you passed out at work.  
> Also, your lease is up. Yay. Time to move.

Unknown Number  
Oct 12, 20XX 11:35am  
[hey kid, hows it goin? Its been awhile]

2:36pm  
[sorry  
I was kinda dick to you]

Oct 15 20XX 12:46am  
[did you get into that college you wanted? get that house? and cat?]

6:57am  
[they discovered two stars that had gravitational pull  
are you still interested in astronomy?  
or did you do something else?]

8:32am  
[did you get that tattoo you drew up? the star nebula one?]

Oct 19 20XX 3:54pm  
[im sorry  
I can understand if you hate me or whatever  
Kinda left without any notice or anything]

You stared at the text messages. Who the hell was messaging you? And how did they have your number? Why did they have you're number? So many questions flipped through your mind like bullets. Bad analogy. You couldn't think of anybody who'd message you. Especially not someone who would call you "kid." And the voice message this person had left didn't help at all either. It was just a person clearing their throat and trying to think of what to say before sighing and hanging up.  
What made this even more complicated was that they pulled up so many topics that only people from before you moved to Ebbot knew about, and you'd changed your number.  
Who was this person, and why did they know things?  
Nothing came up when you searched the number, at least not that you understood. You'd seen your mom do this a few times. But you'd never paid enough attention to figure it out. You sat there and stared at the text messages again, debating if you should text back and see who it was and how the hell they got your number.  
You'd almost come to a consensus when your phone buzzed. It wasn't from mystery dude since a new message didn't appear in the chat. It was from Barren.

barren  
Oct 20 20XX 10:42am  
[ uhhhhh....  
you said you met a crazy yellow dinosaur lady with an eyepatch right?]

You snorted. Why the hell would he be talking about Alphys?

[ye. Y?]

[HELP ME *1 attachment]

The attachment was a picture of Barren being given a noogie by said crazy yellow dinosaur. You chuckled. You could just let him suffer.... Alphys was pretty intense until you got used to it, like Sans. Both were so loud and boisterous, it made sense that they were friends. He can deal with it.

[nah. you'll live mate. I did :P  
Just be chill  
And don't mention me  
Don't need her hunting me down to tell me off for passin out at the bar again]

Yes. You'd passed out at work again. But that wasn't because of lack of sleep... kinda.... It was because you'd caught a really bad cold bug after walking for 2 hours in the rain without an umbrella, or any sort of protection from the wet storm. You'd never been good with getting sick. Your phone buzzed.

[-.-  
told her.  
I suffer, you suffer.  
Have fun when you see her bitch.]

You chuckled. Well. You were already in deep shit anyways. And although getting yelled at by a crazy dinosaur with magic axes could potentially ruin your day, you had more important things to do.  
Like either a: renew your lease on this apartment, or b: find a new damn apartment and move. Your computer was open to Craigslist, and you were scrolling through a list of relatively cheap apartments in monster neighborhoods that allowed pets. Mystery Texter (that's what you'd changed their name too) had reminded you of your little wish. You'd always wanted a cat. Your family had always had dogs, and you were never allowed to get a cat. So now, since you've been on your own for a few years, have a steady job, and probably just found the best 1 or 2 bedroom apartments available right now, you were going to get yourself a damn cat.  
You opened separate tabs for the one bedroom, and two bedroom apartments. Two bedroom would be nice in case you ever had someone over and they needed a place to sleep or something, but you hardly ever (read: never. You'd somehow always managed to stay at someone else's house instead of them even setting foot in yours.) had people over anyways. Though that might change at some point? Since you had more than two friends now.  
Barren and Bunby have never set foot in your home because the three of you have never even gone to your house for any reason. It was always somewhere else, or their places. But that was also going to change since they were probably going to help you move. Emailing the landlords of the two places, you got up and started packing your stuff. Even if you didn't get one of these places, you had back-ups, and you were going to move. Your mind was made up.  
Packing was a slow process since you also had to clean, sort, and organize the stuff too. You'd texted Papyrus, starting a conversation. It wasn't uncommon for the two of you to be swapping texts everyday now. It was fun, and you got to tell corny jokes.  
You set a picture of you and your brother at a corn maze in Halloween costumes on a newspaper and wrapped it, adding plenty of cushion so that the delicate glass frame didn't break. That was placed in the shoe box of stuff that was the most valuable to you. Not in a sense of money (besides your coin box), but in the sense that that stuff was close to your heart.

Skeledude  
Oct 20 20XX 11:30  
[i fish I cod help you, but I salmon argue with her. But if Undyne is there, whale, you'll get off a bit easier than calamari in frying oil]

You snorted at the plethora of puns in that short little message. 

[ill keep that in mind lol]

You sat down on your couch, the blankets that were usually there already in one of those big bedding bags you get when you buy comforters. The tv was on, and on the history channel playing some documentary about ancient Egyptian lore. You changed it to a channel that just played movies. Transformers was on. Though you didn't really care as you thought about Mystery Texter, your phone in your hands.

Oct 20 20XX 11:34  
[ey buddy. who dis be]

That was all you sent before going back to your conversation with Papyrus, packing, emailing with the landlords, and looking for a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas on breed of cat/name of cat???
> 
>  
> 
> Also  
> I know that theres some really weird typos in this fic. iPod has shitty autocorrect. Ill fix it when I can. You can help me by pointing them out :P


	9. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to move apartments

You didn't get another message from Mystery Texter until you were packing up your car, and you didn't have time to check it since you needed to be out of the apartment by noon. It was just sitting in the cup holder of your car. You loaded another box into the backseat, artfully stacking it so it didn't block the rearview mirrors view, and so that nothing would fall. You closed the door and ran inside and back up to your apartment for the last ones that would go in the trunk. Barren and Alphys were taking the few pieces of big furniture (like your couch) down to his truck. You guys would finish loading everything up, and then they'd follow you to your new apartment and take the big pieces up for you. The last things that needed to be moved besides the boxes of kitchen, bathroom, and living room stuff. You'd moved all your bedding, and clothes yesterday, minus the bed.  
The alleyway drunk, John, was watching you as you guys worked. He wasn't drunk today, and you sorta felt bad for him. He had the same look in his eyes that you did when you woke up from a nightmare. Maybe he remembered? That seemed preposterous as you grabbed a 20 from your wallet, and walked over to him. He took the money after a bit of insistence, saying he was already in debt to you as it was for helping him in this same way so many times. You just smiled.  
You helped Barren secure the couch in the truck bed, and then got into your own car, and drove. You were going to have to start using your car again. Not only was it borderline winter, but you no longer lived within walking distance of all your necessities. At least the complex had parking spaces with those roof awning things, you got your own special little spot. The apartment you'd gotten was in the Harmony Village complexes, and the landlord was a sweet juniper tree monster named Mayleen. The apartment itself was on the second floor, had two bedrooms, one bath, allowed up to two pets, and was cheaper than most other places.  
You were still looking for a cat, and had found a few online that you liked, but you'd started having second thoughts about getting one off the web. Especially after seeing animal control getting a cat out of a tree. You were thinking about getting one from the pound, then you'd take it to the pet supply store and get a name tag and collar for the feline.  
You arrived at the apartment building, and you held the doors open for Barren and Alphys as they moved the furniture. This place didn't have an elevator so it was a bit more difficult than the old place, but they managed. Your bed was in the middle of your chosen room, along with your dresser, desks, and a few boxes that you'd moved yesterday and the day before. Couch was in the living room not an hour later, and you were trying to get your friends to leave. That took a good while, but you'd managed to do it after saying you'd buy them nice cream later. 

The bed was situated and made, and you were laying on it when you remembered you'd gotten a text earlier that day. You should check it. But you'd have to find the thing first.  
You started looking around the apartment for the small device, and when you couldn't find it inside, you went outside to the car. Shivering as the chilly night closed in. The blue light of the phone's notification system was visible through the cold fog on the window, and you retrieved it and retreated back inside.

Mystery Texter  
Oct 24 20XX 10:34  
[oh damn  
you changed your number  
uhhh  
whoops]

The messages stopped there. Comfusion swept through you. You sent back a simple message.

Oct 24 20XX 10:40  
[what?]

And then some more.

[what do you mean?  
am I supposed to know you?  
how the hell do you know me]

And you sent more and more as your mind filled with questions. Questions that needed some damn answers.

 

You still hadn't heard back from Mystery Texter. And you were currently lounging at the skeleton house while Alphys and Sans cooked, and Undyne and Papyrus talked sciencey stuff that you didn't care to contribute too since you didn't specialize in earthly sciences. You were sitting on the couch, listening to everything while surfing the web for cats or kittens.  
And you stopped when Papyrus mentioned the star nebulas that had been found. Your phone landed itself in your pocket as you joined the conversation until dinner was ready. Undyne put in One piece.

Six episodes and three bags of popcorn later, you were standing in the kitchen popping more popcorn. Bored, you pulled out your phone and unlocked it.  
Immediately, the screen was lit with a cute picture of a grey kitten, the caption "7 week old kitten needs a home. Please contact XXX-XXX-XXXX if interested." beneath it. You were definitely interested, and you sent out a text to the number provided.  
The popcorn finished as you checked for anymore messages from MT. None. You huffed, you never liked cliffhangers or suspense. They always pissed you off.  
Popcorn was distributed, and you took your spot on the couch, in the corner. It was your corner now, kinda like at work. Though you didn't verbally claim it since that would've been rude.  
One Piece was started again.  
And you fought a losing battle against sleep as Luffy got into a fight with a clown dude who couldn't be killed by being cut apart. Your phone vibrated in your pocket but you were already mostly asleep, and if you shifted, your head would end up on Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name and breed of cat? I chose gray cuz its kinda universal when it comes to cats. Kitty is part of a litter so *shrugs*


	10. Coffee and kitties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just needed a walk to feel better

There were more songs than usual tonight, but you didn't mind, it was fun. You'd had a couple beer with the dogs, and chatted with Papyrus. Being a bit buzzed made the night pleasant and trauma free.  
Until you went to sleep at 1 am, and woke up with a headache and gasping for breath at 5 am. Barely four hours of sleep. You were starting to wonder if the nightmares would ever stop, you were tired of not being able to sleep peacefully. Tired of being haunted.  
"The Haunting" by Set It Off started playing in your head, and you sighed. You wanted to go back to sleep, but no matter how much you rolled around and got comfortable, you couldn't. And it was torture.  
Throwing off your blanket, you got up, pulled on some warm clothes, and walked out your apartment. If you couldn't sleep, you would walk instead of sitting around waiting for your alarm to go off. You didn't even know why you had one since most the stuff you did was at night. You walked to the park and started following the sidewalk around. Your breath turned into white clouds in from of you, kinda like Papyrus' smoke, but less majestic. Papyrus' smoke reminded you of a dragon in a movie you watched and how the smoke curled out of its nostrils and mouth. Dragons were majestic beings, and their smoke was beautiful. Wait... Were you comparing Papyrus to a dragon? You chuckled to yourself, maybe he is a dragon, he just uses artificial smoke. Your smile widened as you walked and pulled out your phone, sending a message to Papyrus.

Oct 29 20XX 6:12am  
[youre a dragon]

You changed his name to Papy the Dragon in your phone before pocketing it and walking to the coffee shop Bunby had dubbed as your favorite. You didn't really have any favorite places, but since you came here so often, she'd dubbed it as your favorite. Speaking of the bubbly lady, you had to go over to her house later today and help her with her psychology project. Barren would have been there, except he had "more important" things to do. Which was a lie because you knew that, even tho he was a nice lively person, he was still pretty much a nerd. Definitely not sports. That was left to his brother whom you'd never met and weren't sure whether you wanted to or not.  
You got a caramel macchiato and left the coffee shop, starting your long ass walk home because you weren't smart and had walked instead of driving down here. People were starting to come out of their homes to start their days, and others were heading home from the night shift. You were neither of these types of people, but apparently Sans was a morning person you noted as you saw him jogging on the other side of the road. You were tempted to call out to him and say hello, but you opted out. He was busy with his morning run, you didn't want to distract him.  
You got home at the same time as you phone vibrated once. Twice. Three times. All with different patterns. The first was the cat lady, she could meet you today about the cat you'd seen on the Internet a few days ago. The second was from Mystery Texter, who still wouldn't tell you his name, though you had a feeling you were getting closer to who it was. The third was from Papyrus.

Papy the Dragon  
Oct 29 20XX 7:35am  
[uhhh what?]

[nothing lol]

[no seriously what? Why am I a dragon?]

[no reason]

You tossed your phone on your bed with a chuckle as you downed the rest of your coffee and grabbed some clothes from your closet. Time for a shower. And some actual breakfast.

 

The blueberry pancakes were delicious and reminded you of your brother. Alex liked blueberries a lot, they were his favorite fruit. You hadn't seen, nor heard from him since you were a sophomore in high school, and now you were a sophomore in college with no familial ties, and a bunch of memories that seemingly never happened.  
Your hair was in your face. It irritated you.... Time for a haircut. Snatching scissors from one of the kitchen drawers, you went into the bathroom, and sloppily cut your hair. You didn't really care for any "professional" looks. So you cut your own hair, saved time and money.  
8:45  
Time to go meet cat lady at some park on the other side of town. Other side in perspective to the old apartment.  
Your red Mazda pulled up to the park, and you got out, looking around for the cat lady and find your soon to be cat. You couldn't find the lady, so you went and sat at a table, and watched kids play tag and chase each other around. 

You jumped when a cat cage was set down in front of you, its plastic self making a strange sound you couldn't describe against the metal table. The lady sat down across from you, and the two of you started chatting. The cat was 7 weeks old, last of its litter, runt of the litter, and had no mother. Mother was presumably hit by a car since the litter of kittens had been found in a ditch on the side of a busy street.  
The cat was a whiteish gray ragdoll kitten and was lazily laying inside the cage. Not like he could do much else. You smiled at him, he stared at you, and after a bit more chatting on the kitten, you paid the lady, and took the cat to your car. Time to go get supplies (which you honestly should have done sooner. But you didn't, obviously.).

Everything amounted to about 120 bucks. Everything being a medium sized cat bed, a bag of food, food and water bowls, litter box, cat litter, cat toys, collar and tag. You'd named the cat while looking at food. The whiteish gray color of his coat for some reason reminded you of cinnamon.  
Cinnamon stared at you from where he was in the carrier, and you ended up at home where you let the cat loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who the hell is MT??  
> Anybody wanna see more of Alex??  
> I also need a name for the coffee shop?


	11. All We Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus shows up at your apartment at asscrack o'clock in the morning. Something's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Enjoy?  
> This story goes where it wants to.

You woke up, and the first thing you did was try and sit up. One problem. There's a cat named Cinnamon on your chest and you have no heart to make him move. So you laid there and gently petted the top of his head. He started purring loudly, making you smile. You took out your phone and took a selfie of you and the lovable cat. The picture would have gone on your Facebook, except for the fact that you'd disabled it when you came here. Didn't want people to use the stupid location feature to find you.  
You noted the time. 3:42am. What the hell were you doing up? You'd slept fine, no nightmares. Cinnamon has been on your chest since you went to sleep. So what could it be? A knock from the front echoed through your apartment. What the hell. Why was someone knocking on your door at what was pretty much 4 am?  
You cradled Cinnamon against your chest as you got out of bed. Passing by your desk on your way to your room door, you grabbed your knife and flipped it open. Another knock, this time with what seemed to be less persistence, rang through the apartment again as you silently made your way to the door. Cinnamon was left on the couch. The hand with the knife settled behind your back as you gripped the handle. This all felt to familiar, in a bad way, but your gut said that you weren't in trouble. You didn't trust it. Before the person on the other side could knock again, you opened the door.  
Papyrus. What the hell was Papyrus doing at your apartment at 4 in the morning? You sighed and closed your knife behind your back before running a hand down your face.  
"You really shouldn't show up at people houses at asscrack o'clock," you said as you looked back up at him. Something was off, you noted, but you couldn't tell what. He snickered but gave no reply. Strike number one. You searched his face, but couldn't find any hints of distress, and you realized how little you knew about him. You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind you. You'd left the lights off to have the advantage of knowing the area in case you had been attacked, but now you turned them on.  
"Sooo.... Any particular reason you showed up at my apartment at 4 am?" No witty comment. Strike two. You stood there and watched him were he was sitting on the couch. He looked a bit lost. You shook your head with a suppressed sigh and went into the kitchen. Your knife went to the counter as you made hot chocolate and got out a pack of fudge stripe cookies.  
He had his head in his hands when you came back into the living room with the hot coco and cookies. Strike three. Cinnamon was sitting on the coffee table, his tail swishing back and forth as he watched the skeleton. He was waiting for something. The same thing he waited for when you woke up from a nightmare choking on your own breath and crying. He was waiting to comfort. You could've sworn this cat was some sort of therapy cat in his soul, destined to love and comfort anyone he came across.  
You sat down next to Papyrus on the couch and set the coco and cookies on the coffee table. Cinnamon hopped into your lap and sat there, still watching the skeleton. You watched him too, for a minute, before reaching out and gently rubbing his back. You could feel him taking deep slow breathes. The three of you sat silently.

4:30am  
The silence was broken.  
"I couldn't save him..."  
The words you had so often whispered and screamed at the sky, cursed to the moon, came from behind your skeleton friend's teeth. You froze, your eyes focused on Papyrus. He'd sounded so broken and tired. Your hand clutched at the back of his hoodie. He was still trying to take deep breaths, but they were beginning to become compromised by quicker breaths that you knew accompanied tears.  
The hot coco was only half gone, the cookies untouched.  
You moved Cinnamon out of your lap and onto the couch next to you as you moved just the slightest bit closer to him. Your hand let go of the hoodie and smoothed away the wrinkles. You could feel his spine and ribs through the fabric. Your soul ached in your chest when he repeated the words. "I couldn't save him..."  
"Who?" You asked in a whisper.  
"Sans. I couldn't save Sans." His brother. Your hand moved to his shoulder, and you weakly massages it. "Okay."  
You didn't need to know how. He would tell you if he wanted. Though, you didn't think you needed an explanation on how it felt to lose your brother, your sibling, your other half. You already knew. You'd lost Alex more times than you could count in the runs before this one.  
Cinnamon crawled across your lap and wormed his way into Papyrus'. One of his hands moved from his head down to the cat. You could see the orange translucent tears clinging to his eyes sockets, but not being allowed to fall.  
You wondered if he remembered the runs, how they went for him, how many times he lost Sans. You wondered how long he's been suppressing this, how long he hasn't slept to avoid nightmares of seeing his brother dust, or finding his brothers dust pile. You wondered if these were even questions he could answer. What if he didn't remember the runs? Did he just have a nightmare that was a little too much? A little too real?  
You felt his breath hitch for a moment as you shifted and hugged him. His shoulder pressed into your chest as you rested your forehead on top of it (one of the few times you wish you were taller). Cinnamon's tail brushed along your arm as he curled into Papyrus' lap, rubbing his head against what you assumed were his lowermost ribs. He was still holding back.  
"Thank you," you said. "For trusting me enough to come here." You thought for a second. "Trust is a valuable thing... And I promise you that I won't break that trust.... I won't tell anyone about this." You could feel him watching you from the corner of his eye. "It's not good to bottle everything up... and its okay to let it out sometimes. So... I... hope you trust me enough to let go, and let it out. Even if its just for a little bit. I promise I won't breath a word of this to anyone."  
There was a beat of silence. There was a slight rattling of bones before Papyrus turned and returned the hug. His face buried itself in you neck and you could feel his magical tears soaking into your baggy pajama shirt. Cinnamon hopped out of his lap and left.  
You don't know how much time had passed, but Papyrus still needed time. Your chin was on his shoulder and you were staring out the window across from you. The moon was low and bright, if the ceiling light wasn't on, it would have lit the room in a soft glow. You wished you could turn the light off.  
Cinnamon came back, his chin just the slightest bit wet from getting a drink. He jumped onto the couch behind you and curled up against your back. You felt Papyrus shudder as your hand traced patterns into his back.  
The ache of your soul dulled a little bit as you started to hum. You took your chin off his shoulder and rested your forehead there instead. You didn't know what song you were starting till you began singing, though it was a late start.  
"All we do is lie and wait  
All we do is, all we do is lie and wait  
All we do is feel the fade  
All we do is, all we do is feel the fade"

You didn't know why, but this song, All We Do, just seemed like the right one for right now.

"I've been upside down  
I don't wanna be the right way round  
Can't find paradise on the ground"

Papyrus smelled like cigarettes and honey. You imagined his smoke curling into the air. Free.

"All we do is hide away  
All we do is, all we do is hide away  
All we do is chase the day  
All we do is, all we do is chase the day  
All we do is play it safe  
All we do is live inside a cage  
All we do is play it safe  
All we do, all we do"

You were both here, in the quietness of your living room. The world outside locked behind windows and doors, far beneath your floor.  
You could feel tears in your eyes, but you didn't know why. You were fine, right? You didn't let them fall, just kept singing the rest of the song.

"All I did was fail today  
All I wanna be is whites in waves  
All I did was fail today  
All we do, all we do"

The two of you fell asleep on the couch, too tired to move, and neither wanting to be alone. The two of you hadn't even let go of each other, just shifted a bit into a more comfortable position, and fell asleep. Cinnamon sleeping on your back.

 

Your phone vibrated in your bedroom.


	12. Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Begins the morning after Papyrus showed up at your door at 4 am.  
> What the hell happens next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS my hand slipped. Please feel free to murder me later.

You stared at your phone. It was sitting on the counter, blue light blinking in indication of a new message. It was from Mystery Texter, and you weren't sure you really even wanted to look. You could just delete the thread without looking. But what if they messaged you again? They know who you are, and you don't know who they are. You were curious as to who they were, but you also didn't want to know. Like knowing would throw you off balance, and you fall back into the pit of darkness you'd just recently managed to get yourself out of, at least while you slept.  
Papyrus was asleep on the couch, Cinnamon next to his head. He looked so calm and peaceful, but then again, how could you really tell? You didn't know him as well as you thought you did. After this (early) morning, you'd realized that. You also realized how much of a hypocrite you were. Bottling things up isn't good. You'd gotten him to let it out. And yet you wouldn't let yourself. You sighed and put your head on the counter.  
Your phone was still blinking. The message still there. Your curiosity got the better of you.

Mystery Texter  
Dec 1 20XX 4:50 am  
[so many questions...  
Have you really not figured it out Riles?]

You paused there. Riles? You hadn't been called that since junior year of high school. Before Alex left... You frowned at the messages.

[im disappointed. You should've been able to figure this one out  
Jk  
I bet you just haven't put any thought into it because you're busy.  
And you never really liked puzzles like this.]

What the hell are they doing.

[uhhh  
Before I tell you, I'm going to apologize  
I'm sorry I left like that. It probably hurt you more than anybody else.  
And I'm sorry for cutting you off. That probably also hurt you a lot too.]

This was starting to sound too much like-  
You read it at the same time as you said it.

[Alex]

 

You sat there for a long while, staring at that message. That one single message. You felt like crying, and screaming. The wound from when he'd left felt like it was torn open. There was no "probably," it did hurt you. Old anger bubbles up from the old wound.  
7 years ago, he LEFT. 7 years ago, he left you alone. You'd been so ANGRY when he left, you'd tried to convince yourself that you hated him, but all you ended up doing was make it more painful for yourself.  
Tears burned your eyes, and you tried to will them away. Stupid. You were fine. You shouldn't be crying. You should be happy and calling Alex to tell him how happy you were he was okay. There wasn't a reason to cry. 

Papyrus stirred on the couch and you hurriedly wiped your eyes as he sat up. You knew you didn't look like you were about to cry. Everything except the dullness of your eyes showed no signs of crying. You smiled as he turned around and looked at you. His trademark grin already in place. "Hey."  
It was just like that first text. More than just a simple hello, but you couldn't figure out the other half of it. You silently waved back. If you spoke now, your voice would crack, and he'd get that worriedly curious look on his face. You hated that look. It seemed as though it was only ever directed at you.  
You turned around and started making breakfast; pancakes.  
You were tempted to ask about last night, what led up to it, to him at your door. You didn't say anything. He was on the other side of the counter, his chin in his hand. Your phone vibrated. Alex from the pattern. He'd seen that you'd read his messages. You wanted to throw your phone at the wall as you stilled in your mixing of the pancake batter. You just stood there. Still as a tree. Papyrus' eyelights were on you.  
A minute passed before you moved again, slow and careful. It'd be a shame if you dropped everything and ruined it. The silence was welcomed by you as you poured batter onto the pan.  
One minute of calm domestic silence.  
Two minutes of the same.  
Time seemed to stop for you as your phone vibrated on the counter from the call coming through. Alex was calling you. You snapped. Anger and sadness molded into one and you couldn't tell them apart anymore.  
The bowl of pancake batter fell as you spun around and grabbed your phone from the counter. If you could crush the device in your hand, you would, but instead you chucked it into the living room. The glass mixing bowl broke as it hit the floor, and the glass in a picture frame shattered from the phone slamming into it. None of this was good.  
You could almost hear the explosion of a grenade alongside the shattering glass. Your socks slipped on the tile floor, and you fell.

You never hit the ground. Papyrus caught you, and you would've tried to shove him away if you had some balance. Your legs stung where all the glass was embedded, your mind spun with images of war. You felt like you were suffocating, your ears were ringing. You wanted it all to STOP.  
Papyrus slowly sat on the ground, bringing you down with him. You could feel him breathing against your back, his jaw moved next to your ear. You could vaguely hear him telling you to breath. His arms wrapped around you as he started gently rocking back and forth. 

The panic, sadness, and anger slowly left you. The sound of guns filtered itself out and let Papyrus' whisperings reach you. The feeling of suffocation disappeared as you remembered how to breath. You could feel the tear tracks on your face and you mentally reprimanded yourself for crying. One of Papyrus' hands moved up to your hair and started combing through it. He'd stopped talking.  
It was silent. Cinnamon climbed into your lap and you petted him as he crawled up to your chest and went limp like he does when he's being picked up. The warm weight on your chest was comforting, just like it always was.  
The silence started to unnerve you, and your legs were starting to hurt more. You sat forward, and Papyrus' arm moved from hugging you, to around your shoulders, to just his hand rubbing your shoulder. You picked out the glass shards that you could, and left the others in to be gotten out by tweezers. 

 

The two of you didn't speak of the incident. You especially kept your mouth shut about what went on, you had promised Pap you wouldn't tell anyone about that morning. Papyrus watched you a bit more, and you in turn became a bit more careful. You didn't want anybody to know. They'd think you were insane. C'mon, who has PTSD from something that never happened.  
Papyrus showed up at your apartment a few more times, though it wasn't ever like the first time. Instead, the two of you would drink hot cocoa and eat cookies and watch Disney movies (you'd acquired quite the collection over the years).  
That's not where you were now though. Instead of at home, you were at Undyne's house helping set up for anime night. You were handling blankets and pillows and other comfort things, Alphys and Sans were getting food together, Undyne was setting up the show, and Papyrus just arrived. With him there, the preparations finished quickly, and everyone was soon seated around the tv. You and Papyrus had claimed the couch, Sans had made a nest on the floor, and Alphys and Undyne cuddled on the love seat. 

Kiss Kiss Fall in Love.


	13. Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling content.

You could see the stars through your window. Bright twinkling lights in the sky. This part of town's power was out. The light that would have been blocking the sky, gone. Snow covered the ground and the ledge outside your windowsill. It was Thanksgiving Break, and you were alone.  
Papyrus was with his brother, Undyne and Alphys, doing one thing or another. You didn't remember. He'd offered to let you join them, but you declined. Bunby and Barren had gone to their respective families. They'd both offered to let you come with them, but you declined their offers too. You felt that this was better anyways. Hot cocoa warmed your hands as you looked at the stars through your window.  
Piano and violin duets sang quietly from your phone, adding to the calm serenity of the moment. Cinnamon came from wherever he was and jumped into your lap, purring as he curled up there. Everything was calm, and everything was right.  
Your phone vibrated, the knock knock pattern that belonged to Papyrus. You smiled for some reason. The noise had interrupted the calm serenity of the atmosphere. Maybe what you felt couldn't be ruined right now.

Papy the Dragon  
Nov 23, 20XX 9:32  
[hey  
you alright?]

After your little freak out (which neither of you had brought up still. You vaguely hoped you never would) at the beginning of the month, Papyrus seemed a bit more... attentive? Caring? Worried? You couldn't think of a name for it. He was just there more. He'd stopped giving you that stupid curious look, it was replaced with a more laid back look. He still watched you, but not like when you first met him. 

[yea im fine  
What's up?]

You'd barely looked back out the window when he messaged you again. See? He cared more.

[nuthin much  
bros putting in a movie  
you sure you don't want me to come get you?]

[yea]

Maybe later. You were content with being alone right now. Papyrus sent a small goodbye, and the conversation ended.  
You looked back out the window. The snow had the city blanketed in a soft fluffy white, the stars stared down, and the moon smiled. You smiled back before you shivered. The cold from the window was getting to you.  
You picked Cinnamon up and went over to the couch. He ended up back in your lap as you wrapped yourself in a blanket. The tv was turned on as you turned off your music.  
You felt warm, and safe. The tv was low and the show about ancient Egyptians was a rerun. The hot cocoa was gone. You were tired.  
You picked up Cinnamon and set him on the back of the couch as you shifted your blankets and laid down. The couch was just a little bit cold, but that slowly changed as it sucked up your body heat. You stared at the tv, words and pictures passing over your head.  
You fell asleep.

 

Thanksgiving day and you woke up to someone knocking on your door. Stretching and yawning, you got up. It was silent beyond the door, probably just a new neighbor coming to say hi or something.  
Alphys and a very tired looking Papyrus. He smiled at you as Alphys pushed past you. She seemed irritated. Like really irritated. You stared after her as she marched to your room. Cinnamon rubbed against your feet as you closed the door behind Papyrus.  
"So... Whatcha guys doin here?" You asked. Alphys answered before Papyrus could even open his mouth. "Because that loser," she pointed at him. "Wouldn't stop checking his damn phone to see if you'd texted him. He keeps worrying about you. Which I think is stupid." At least she thought you were fine on your own? Gotta count for something right? "So I decided to come get you so that he would stop worrying even though there's no real reason too and you are capable of taking care of yourself like a big girl." You snorted and Papyrus shot you a halfhearted glare as orange dusted his cheekbones, and she threw your backpack at you.  
The world vanished from around you the instant Papyrus' hand touched your shoulder. Then it reappeared, and you were at his house. Undyne looked up from where she was reading on the couch and smiled. "H-hey Riley. You see the stars last night?" You smiled and nodded, the two of you (with the occasional input of Papyrus from where he was half asleep on the couch) talked about them. You talked about some of the things you'd seen, like the shooting star. She asked you what you wished for, but you didn't tell her. Sans came downstairs, a few stray water droplets racing down his skull. He ran over and hugged you. "HI HUMAN RILEY!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!" 

You don't remember when you'd fallen asleep again, but you had. And you'd ended up in the other guest room at some point too. You felt content, a feeling that seemed to just float with you this week. You hadn't had a nightmare. You smiled and burrowed into the warmth, avoiding the undoubtable cold that lay beyond them. You eventually had to get up and join the others downstairs, but you stayed in your pajamas just because you could.  
Everything was fine.  
You were fine.

Alphys and Sans were in the kitchen making lunch when you caught yourself staring at Papyrus' sleeping form. Although it was something that happened often when he came to your house and you guys filtered out the pain. He always looked so calm and peaceful, like now.  
A book closed, and you turned to look at Undyne. Her eyes were wide as saucers, and she had a humongous smile on her face. She was looking at you. It was confusing.  
You leaned back into the couch. "What?" You asked, curious as to why the blue fish was looking at you like a wolf would a steak. She giggled and shook her head, looking down at her lap as she did so. "Oh n-nothing, just thinking." You didn't press even though you wanted to. You wanted to know why she looked at you like that.  
Your gaze slowly returned to Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's ch13 sorry its shorter than the others.  
> Again, need I remind you because I need to remind myself;  
> I still have no idea where this is going, and I'm writing it down as it comes in the 3 hours I've allowed for this.  
> If you have anything you would like to happen, do tell, I am open to suggestions and my mind works with what its given.  
> Its pretty much 11. Its early i know, but it felt right to end it here. Have your content fluff. Good night.


	14. A littl bit of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You regret telling them.  
> Pie.  
> You're thankful it's cold.

Alex  
Dec 5, 20XX 3:23pm  
[and you're freaking out over this beeecaaauuusssee?]

[BECAUSE ITS NOT OKAY AND IM GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING WITH THIS]

[Riles chill.  
You'll be fine.  
You're calm and collected.  
And a damn good liar.  
You'll get over this at some point... Just maybe not soon.]

You groaned at your brother even though he couldn't hear you. This was a serious problem. What's this? Not something very new. It was a bit old you guessed, but the discovery was barely new. You'd figured it out... Actually. IT WAS FUCKING NEW AND YOU WERE FREAKING OUT.  
What was the actual problem? Something that had the potential to ruin your friendship with Papyrus. No you didn't kill anybody, and you weren't doing drugs. But it felt like you'd been on drugs when you realized this problem. You'd felt oddly happy as you watched Papyrus smoke.  
Your soul had felt light and happy. You'd started noticing little things about him. Like the way he squinted a bit when he laughed or smiled, like really smiled. Or the way he flicked the ash off his cigarette. Just little things.  
You'd made the mistake of telling Undyne, and now she was shipping the two of you and you really wanted to just go jump off a cliff. The two of you were meeting up more, and she'd fangirl over you and Papyrus and you'd sigh and resign yourself to your fate at what was you favorite (previously dubbed by Bunby, but now officially) coffee shop, Nevermore Coffee. You were actually supposed to be there in 30 minutes....  
You were still in your pajamas, and you were still technically in bed. Bed being the couch. You'd slept there again. The pillow and blanket that stayed on the couch smelled like him from all the times he'd fallen asleep on the couch instead of in the spare bedroom. Honey and cigarettes, your new favorite scent besides peppermint tangerine.  
You sighed, and your arm flipped off the couch. You laid there, tempted to go back to sleep. You couldn't though. If you weren't up and at Nevermore Coffee in 30 minutes, you'd get an earful from Bunby.

One minute late. Bunby had already looked like she was going to panic and hunt you down when you got there. Though you didn't really understand why, you usually were either late, or extremely early to these things. Usually extremely early, but you had your share of late days, like today. You went up and order your coffee, a caramel macchiato with an extra shot of caramel, extra whip cream, and a shot of chocolate.  
The second you sat down, Bunby was talking. "Who is this person you have affection for!?" The way she asked that was weird, kind of reminded you of how Starfire would talk on Teen Titans. You stared at her, thinking of how to word your confession and hoping she doesn't shout it out in excitement.  
"Uhh... I guess I kinda have a little big crush on Papyrus...?" Well that was awkward. Bunby's eyes widened to the size of saucers and she squealed. "Oh my god! Really! You would be soooo cute together!" She gushed, and you blushed.  
Why do you make terrible decisions? Oh yea. Because you can't seem to figure out that you shouldn't tell excitable fangirl-type females that you have a crush on a walking, talking skeleton.  
She started talking about you and the skeleton and you put your head down in mortification and embarrassment.  
You got your coffee, and curled into a ball on the chair, the table making it possible to keep your position without holding your legs yourself.  
You were relieved when the topic went from your school-girl crush, onto seemingly more important things, like how strawberries and cream oatmeal was better than bananas and cream. You agreed with that one. You never really liked bananas.  
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you grinned.

Papy the Dragon  
Dec 5 20XX 4:15pm  
[asgore is making apple cinnamon pie. want any?]

Apple cinnamon pie... You hadn't had that in forever, not since your 12th birthday and your mother had actually given a damn. You remember liking it. 

[sure]

"You seriously can't say that bananas are better than strawberries! Strawberries are sweeter and bananas are bland unless they're dried out. And even then they taste weird!" Bunby ranted to Barren. You could imagine them in a relationship. Though their tastes in food might ruin the whole thing?

[k  
piell be done in like an hour  
what's up?]

You looked at the two people bickering across from you.

[coffee  
which is better: strawberries and cream or bananas and cream?]

Bunby paused in her speech, you looked up from your phone. She was staring at you with a shiteating smile. "Who ya texting Ri?" You shrugged. "Nunya." She frowned, clearly having expected something else. "Nunya?" "Yea. Nunya business." She groaned as you smirked. 

[peaches and cream with a bottle of honey]

You couldn't help not laughing. For some reason that just seemed so like him. Bunby had switched topics to cakes. Triple decker double chocolate vs. red velvet with strawberry frosting. They were so bizarre and out of there, that you added the addition of a vanilla chocolate checker cake, and then you got up and left.  
It was cold out. Obviously. It was December, and you weren't in the Southern Hemisphere. Snow covered the ground, packed down by the many feet that walked this path. You'd misplaced the hood for your winter jacket, leaving your neck exposed to the cold winds and snow that blew off of things. You wished you had a scarf. Your car seemed colder than it was outside as you climbed in and started the ignition.

 

You stood on the porch after knocking. Alex was still messaging you about your predicament. You muted your the notifications as the door opened. Chara smiled up at you. "Hi! Papy said you'd be coming for pie!" She let you in, and you could see the mysterious glint in their eyes. It made you uneasy. You took off your cold boots and set them by the door and hung up your coat.  
Papyrus sat on the couch drinking honey like he usually did. He waved and smiled at you. The cold red flush of your checks was the only disguise you had from the blush that warmed your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then!! Didnt expect that. But whatever. It happened.  
> Ideas welcome, helpful criticisms welcome.


	15. Yay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING**  
>  THIS CHAPTER STARTS OFF WITH A TRIGGER SCENE OF "GRAPHIC" VIOLENCE  
> READ AT YOUR OWN DISGRESSION

/"Move move move!" Lieutenant Harlow yelled. Three of four squads moved forward, aiming and firing at the oncoming enemies. Gun shots and cannons and explosions tore through the air. And you were right in the center of it.  
A guy to your left was missing an arm. Another behind you had been shot in the head, a lucky miss for you. Others were being shot and torn apart. It was chaos.  
You ducked behind a tree as a grenade blew to your right. You couldn't hear Lieutenant shouting orders. You could only see his lips move. Nobody was still. Greml was yelling reports into his com, keeping HQ updated on progress. The plan was a bust, and there were no chances of retreat with the onslaught of gunfire.  
A field medic crouched down in front of you, grabbing your chin and lifting your head to see if you were alive. He frowned, looked up, and shoved you to the side as the tree you were up against was blown apart. Splinters rained down on you as you got up and dashed to the cover of a boulder where a few others were taking cover. Sliding in next to them, you finally let instinct and the need to survive take over.  
You peeked over the boulder, aimed, and fired. A bullet grazed your helmet as you got back up, and you immediately sank back down as more bullets came upon the rock, the assaulters hoping to hit someone. You reloaded and waited for the firing to stop before you peeked around the side and open fired.  
Your gut said to move, so you did after switching to your pistol. Your rifle still easily accessible, you came out from behind the boulder and started shooting as you ran further into the fray. Where else would you go? There was nowhere to go. Nowhere except forward and hope you survived.  
You couldn't hear anybody's yelling or shouting. All you could hear was gunfire and explosion. It was overwhelming. The sound burned itself in your ears.  
The ground beside you exploded and you were thrown to the side, landing on your arm and breaking it on a rock. It hurt. You're pretty sure you screamed. You rolled onto your stomach, pistol still in hand, and you forced yourself to look up as blood sprayed in your face from someone getting shot through the neck. Your vision was blurred, you were in pain from more than just a few bullets lodged in your skin and your broken arm, you're pretty sure your crying, but otherwise hoped it was just sweat running down your face and not blood. Someone's body landed in front of you and you used them as cover so that you could reload.  
You snapped your arm back into place before getting up. You gripped the gun with that hand, a knife in the other.  
Aim.  
Fire.  
Run.  
Slash.  
Fire.  
You're shot in the knee as you knife someone in the back. The impact and sudden pain from the joint brought you down to the ground./

**(SAFE TO READ AGAIN)**

You jolted awake as your back hit the ground, gasping for breath and choking on tears, you lay there. You hadn't had one that bad in a long time. They were usually short scenes, dying, flashbacks of nothing. This was the first one in a long time where it was almost the beginning to the end of a battle. You could still hear the guns and explosions ringing in your ears. You covered your ears with your palms as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to dispel the last nightmarish images and sounds.  
Your phone vibrated under your pillows and blankets, making you jerk at the sudden noise. Your hand searched beneath the pillows and blankets as you got up. Phantom pains shot through your knee, arm, and every bullet wound you'd acquired during that battle. "It never happened." You mumbled to yourself as you sat down to keep yourself from falling. You pulled out your phone and opened the message.

Alex  
Dec 6, 20XX 8:32 am  
[heeeyyyy Riles guess what day it is]

You didn't really care.

[wednesday?]

[no lol  
Its Saturday December 6]

You laid back down with a groan. Well shit. What a glorious day today was. 

[its your birthday!!!!]

Yup. Its your birthday. You've slept 2 hours, had a terrible nightmare, have a paper due for Astronomy by midnight, and are absolutely exhausted and in need of a hug from a particular honey-smelling skeleton. Who probably had work. You wouldn't ask him for a hug anyways. That's bad for someone with a crush. You also had to get off your ass in an hour so you could go meet Bunby, Barren, Alphys, and Undyne at Nevermore Coffee, and you were going to suffer as Undyne and Bunby fangirl together over you and the skeleton. You considered just not going. But that was a problem since all four of them knew where you lived.

You eventually made yourself get up and shower. It didn't make you feel refreshed and alive like usually. It made you feel drowsy and dead. You wanted to go back to sleep. You could say you were sick, except for the small issue of Bunby's motherly instincts. She'd come over to take care of you and then be upset that you lied and give you another lecture about lying.  
You didn't eat, decided you'd just get food at Nevermore and eat then. 10 minutes to get there. You grabbed your jacket and essentials before going out the door and running to your car. The drive became a tedious task as the roads were icy and covered in snow, but you eventually made it to the coffee shop, and you ducked through the door.  
Bunby was there with Undyne in a corner booth away from the windows. You ordered your coffee and chocolate chip muffin before joining them. Bunby immediately turned to you. "So, Ri. Have you done anything about your dilemma yet?" You shrugged, "Besides ignore it? No." You said bluntly. Undyne squealed. "Oh c'mon! You should try it! It would be SO cute! And just think about all the things you two could do together!" You looked at her as she talked. These two seemed too bubbly... you supposed that you should be like that too, it being your birthday and all.  
They eventually found it in themselves to grant you mercy from the boy-talk as Alphys and Barren showed up. You were pretty sure you were a fifth wheel now. Eh. Whatever. Beats talking about Papyrus. 

You eventually managed to make it out of there, and you started walking again, not feeling like driving on slippery streets. It was starting to snow a bit, little flakes falling through the air. You kept walking until you ended up looking over a frozen river from a bridge. It was oddly serene and calming.  
You set your phone on the brick wall rail after putting in your headphones. You hummed along to Ghost of a Rose. Maybe you'd play that one at work on Monday?  
You felt a paw placed on your shoulder. It was warm through your jacket and you pulled out a headphone as the fluffy goat spoke. "I do hope your just here for the view, young one." You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. "Why else would I be here?" Asgore have you a small smile. "Your soul feels especially gloomy today, but I'm glad to hear you have no alternative motives." No alternative moments? Ha. If you couldn't kill yourself in a war, you couldn't kill yourself in any situation.  
It was silent for a while. His paw left your shoulder and was placed in his pocket. "If there's anything you feel the need to talk about, I will listen." You snickered. Its not that you didn't appreciate his offer... "Its just kinda hard to talk about things that haunt you that never actually happened...." The goat monster nodded. "That's okay, young one."

You said goodbye and went back to walking, trying to think of something to do for your birthday. A little treat for yourself. Something fun. You couldn't think of anything. The movies looked boring, most of the things you wanted to do would be better with others.  
You were standing at a crosswalk when smoke was blown in your face. Coughing, you waved your hand through the smoke, looking at the perpetrator. Papyrus stood next to you, taking a drag from his cigarette. "What're you doin' walkin' around out here in the cold?" You shrugged. You seem to be doing that a lot today. "Eh. Nothing much. Just trying to figure out what to do." He cocked his head. "Don't you usually have something to do though?" Again, you shrugged. "It usually seems like that. And today is kinda whack soo..." He chuckled. "Kinda whack? What's the occasion?"  
"My birthday." You said nonchalantly before snapping your mouth shut, face palming, and groaning. Again with the bad decision making. "Forget I said anything about that." Too late, damage was done. Papyrus was staring at you, gears turning in his head. He was still smiling. His eyelights had a bit of an added sparkle to them.  
The crosswalk sign turned green and he lazily slung his arm around your shoulder before directing you in a different direction. You sighed and opened your mouth to tell him that your birthday was nothing special and that you didn't really care. And then he teleported the two of you.  
You came back in front I a mini cafe. A spider themed cafe in the middle of winter. It was like an arcnaphobes worst nightmare. Luckily you weren't afraid of spiders, because there were so many spiders everywhere.  
The owner and operator of this coffee shop was a spider monster named Muffet. Big surprise. She was pretty much just an ensemble of purples.  
The two of you bought food and ate it there. It was nice. Minus the slightly constant turmoil of possibly messing something up and him finding out about your crush.  
"You up for binge watching Disney movies again?" He asked as he drank honey. You smiled, watching him. "Sure, sounds like fun."

The two of you got up to leave and you turned around, coming face to face with someone you hoped you'd never see again.  
"Riley?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then, who's this new person you apparently never wanted to see ever again?
> 
>  
> 
> Still have no idea what I'm doing.  
> Suggestions welcome


	16. Uggghhhhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Went from "okay" to "shoot me in the face" to "this is okay"

"Riley?"

You stared at the lady in front of you. She was a lady in her 40's with strawberry blonde hair and bright emerald green eyes, high cheekbones, and glasses a stereotypical librarian would wear. She wore a fashionable black trench coat that hid a pink blouse, a pair of jeans and sneakers. You knew who she was. You just didn't want to acknowledge it. You wanted to walk away, but the sheer shock of meeting HER down here rooted you too the floor. You could feel your heart rate increasing in panic. This was bad. You'd known that from the second you turned around.  
Your mind raced to find a way out of this before it got worse. You could smile and pretend you didn't know her, but that's extremely hard. Especially when she was your MOTHER. But you could give it a shot.  
You smiled, strained and fake. "Uhm.. Hello Miss... Do I know you?" You clasped your hands tightly behind your back. She stared at you in disbelief, her mouth agape in shock. "You... You don't remember me? Your own Mother!?"  
Well damn... That actually worked. You made the mistake of letting out a sigh of relief. Her face switched from shock, to horror and anger. "Do you think I'm an idiot Riley? Did you think I wouldn't notice you were lying?" Well yea... You rolled your eyes. "Seeing as your as oblivious as you were six years ago when Father had been cheating on you for two years, yes. Speaking of Father, where is he? Thought he'd be with you on what I assume is your vacation." Your words were laced with venom and annoyance. Your mother glared at you.  
"He's dead. You would know that if you'd stuck around a little longer you spoiled little brat." You snorted out a laugh and looked at her like she was crazy. "I would've stayed longer if YOU weren't the spoiled bitch of the family." You tried to walk past her, but she blocked your way. You had half a mind to judo flip her onto the table next to you.  
"That is no way to talk to your mother Riley Juniper Petrovich. I have always been your mother and I've always loved and cared about you! And this i-"  
You spun around on your heel and slapped her. The sound echoing into the now silent cafe. Your head was lowered, an angry glare settled on your face. "You filthy LIAR!" You shouted. You could feel the tears build up in your eyes as memories came to the forefront of your mind. "You dirty ass good for nothing liar. You've never cared! Not since I was TWELVE. That was the last time you ever showed any sort of feeling towards me. The last time you ever even acknowledged me. You were always either drunk, hyped on LSD, or doting over my brother. You and Father basically forgot I fucking EXISTED when Alex started doing better than me." You couldn't hold them back anymore. The tears started slipping down your face as the old pain of neglect resurfaced. "Even after Alex left and cut us off... you didn't realize I was there because you were always so fucking DRUNK." You lifted your head to stare her in the eyes. You knew she didn't know what you were talking about. How could she? She never payed attention. The look on her face said it all. You glared. "You were the spoiled bitch. And you are NOT my MOTHER." You spat the words at her as you pushed her out of your way and walked out of the cafe.

You walked down the sidewalk. Snow drifted through the air. If it was any colder, your tears would have froze to your face. You could feel your heart still beating out of control.  
Footsteps behind you.  
She hadn't cared for 10 years. The fact that she pretended that she had, that she does, made you sick.  
Your pace quickened.  
The footsteps behind you did too, trying to catch up.  
You wanted to be alone, to cry alone. Your soul ached. Throughout all of the runs, that's the one thing that never changed. It always went back to after she changed.  
You'd left because you needed a new start. And because you got pretty much a full ride scholarship to Ebbot Mountain University. Nobody had known you were leaving, you'd just rented an apartment online, gathered your important belongings, and left.  
Papyrus finally caught up with you and stopped you before you walked into oncoming traffic. His hand was on your shoulder, grip hardly loose. It slipped around to your other side as the signal changed and he moved forward. You were tempted to spin out of his hold and leave, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.  
He didn't say anything as you directed you on a path that took you back to Nevermore Coffee, and to your car. You got into the driver's seat and turned the car on, immediately turning the heat up. Papyrus got in on the passenger side and looked at you.  
"So... That was your mother?" He cautiously asked. You gripped the wheel so tight that your knuckles turned white. He nodded, "alright." You pulled the car out of its parking spot and started driving down the road back to your place. You didn't care anymore, you just wanted to go home.

You made it back with no accident and went up to your apartment. You shed your shoes and coat, threw your phone on the couch, and went to take a shower. The warm water helped wash away your tears, and the sound of it drowned out your sobs. You'd been barely holding them in since Papyrus had caught up to you. Yea, you were a hypocrite, but you didn't really care. Everyone was a hypocrite in their own way. Yours just happened to be about your own advice.  
Fuzzy pajama pants and a baggy shirt were waiting for you on the bathroom counter when you'd gotten out. That's odd, you hadn't grabbed anything before hopping in the shower. You pulled them on anyways, happy for the small source of comfort.  
Papyrus was on the couch typing a text to someone when you came into the living room. He looked back at you and smiled, "You feeling better?" You nodded. He nodded back, beckoning you to come sit on the couch. You complied as he grabbed the tv remote and started flipping through movies and tv shows. He chose a move called "Lucky Trolls." It was about a boy who lived in an orphanage and hunted for trolls, and he eventually found them and then went on a grand adventure to stop other troll hunters from finding them and killing them. It was a good movie, and it made you laugh a lot. The two of you alternated turns on choosing movies through the rest of the day and into the night.  
It was sometime around midnight when you found yourself leaning heavily on the skeleton as you ate a slice of pizza. You turned to him to grab the remote, and you came face to face with him. The two of you stared at each other for a second. His eyelights were pure white and stayed focused on you. The room was silent, and the two of you stayed like that for a minute.  
You had the idea to lean forward and kiss him, but you didn't. Instead you awkwardly looked away while clearing your throat and asking for the remote. Your face heated in a blush, and you could see Papyrus' face turn orange as well.

Half way through the movie, you were still leaning on Papyrus, and his hand was combing itself through your hair. It felt nice, and you were starting to get sleepy. "Happy Birthday Riley," the skeleton whispered as your eyes closed.

Lady and the Tramp shared a noodle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 is up and running.  
> I'm starting to try to work on one of my other fics "The Rose that Bites and the Skeletal Wolf"  
> If you're interested. Its another fic like this one but maybe less traumatizing? Meaning your not a person that remembers resets, was neglected, and went through a war....  
> Yay?


	17. I can't think of a title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its hard to talk about something that NEVER HAPPENED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody ready for feels???

/You clutched the canvas as you walked up to your mother. She was slouched at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer loosely gripped between her fingers. "Mom!" You said, presenting the painted canvas. "Look what I made!" She turned and looked at you, not even glancing at the painting. "Its very nice kid. Why don't you run along and find your parents." Her smile was fake and held barely concealed annoyance.  
Your face fell into a sad frown as you retreated. No use. She was drunk. So drunk that she didnt even recognize her own daughter. You felt... heavy.  
You went up to your room. The walls were covered in bands and movie posters. The bed had a simple gray cover, and the carpet was the same shade. You tossed the canvas in the corner.  
On the campus was a painting of a landscape. You didn't know where it was, but you didn't care anymore. It failed its purpose. You glared at the thing before picking it up. It was light in your hands. You hated the picture now.  
You tore it to shreds.  
Wood found its way inside your hands. You acquired multiple paper cuts as splinters buried themselves in your flesh. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as the front door slammed open./

There wasn't anything traumatizing in that nightmare. Just old pain of neglect and your mother not recognizing your face. You wished you'd never run into her at the cafe four weeks ago. But then again, you wanna give her another good smack across the face. She deserved it.

Christmas came and went and you retreated into your home. No classes. You didn't have a reason to leave except work. You still worked at the diner place, playing songs in place of the jukebox.  
That's where you were, playing songs as they came. The bar was more crowded than usually. Football night or something. You didn't care. You'd come in early for a reason; Papyrus wasn't there.  
You were avoiding the skeleton and his friends. You probably shouldn't be, you'd seem Sans' face when you'd turned the other way at the park. It was more of an instinct thing to distance yourself when you were stressed and had more nightmares than your body could actually physically handle. You were glad you had a car.  
Notes flowed from your finger tips like beer to a glass. You didn't stop. You had a lot of requests anyways, you could do that. Money was tossed onto the stage as you played, by a couple drunks with an eye for girls. They annoyed you. You weren't even wearing anything appealing, just jeans, Tshirt, and jacket. You didn't even have that big of a bust, or a butt for that matter. Stupid males.  
You finished up the last song and started packing up and gathering the money from around your feet. You didn't bother counting. Bag in hand, keyboard over your shoulder, you left.  
The drive home was cold and boring. The heater unit in your car was broken, so you were colder inside than you were out. You guessed that if it was any colder, you'd see your breath fog in front of you. You were glad for the warmth of your apartment when you got there. Your shoes, coat, and keyboard were left by the door. You always brought your keyboard home, lest someone steals it from the bar.  
You grabbed a box of Walmart orange chicken, sat on the couch and ate it. It was cold but you like it either way. And it was food so, who could complain? The empty container found its way to the coffee table. The blanket on the couch didn't smell like Papyrus anymore. It smelled more like tiredness and guilt, it made you feel sick. You still used the blanket anyways as you leaned forward and lit the candle on the coffee table. The couch was about as comfortable as it usually was as you curled up there.  
It was 1 am when you finally fell asleep.

Somehow you woke up in your own bed, still wrapped in the blanket from the couch. The candle had been moved to your side table. Or maybe it hadn't? The one on the side table was bigger and smelled like vanilla. The one you'd had in the living room smelled like cinnamon....  
You made yourself get up. You were awake, and trying to go back to sleep would just make you tireder. The blanket fell to the floor when you slipped off the bed. You didn't have class or work today so you just grabbed a pair of sweats and a Tshirt. Before you took a shower, you peeked into the living room. Seeing jeans and dirty Nike tennis-shoes, you passed it off as Barren and went to take your shower.  
You don't think sitting in the bathtub with the water falling around you constituted as a shower, but the water felt nice and you didn't feel like putting in any actual effort. Your wet hair was in your eyes. It didnt look platinum blonde anymore, the dye was starting to fade out and the strawberry blonde that matched your mother's was starting to show through. Time to chop and redye it.  
Your clothes were soft when you put them on, though you swapped the Tshirt for a tank top. Back inside the bathroom, you pulled out a pair of scissors, pulled out a random box of hair dye from under the sink, mixed it, and then started to cut your hair. There was really only a 3% chance you'd grabbed another platinum blonde dye. You'd bought like 30 random ones at one point, and you weren't even half way through them. Foil in hand, you began the meticulous task of dying your own hair with no assistance.  
Doing it yourself gets easier the more you do it, just can't let the screwed up depth perception of a mirror screw with your own. Foil and dye in, you left the bathroom and went into the kitchen to get breakfast while the dye rested. The smell of bacon woke Barren up on the couch- was that him cracking his joints? He never did that when he woke up (the two of you had once been snowed in at Bunby's place for a week from a huge snowstorm. 7 days and not once had he popped his joints. He thinks its gross).  
"So, you like playing hide and seek or something?" The lazy voice of Papyrus said as he got up and came to the extended counter that was kinda like a bar's, and sat in a seat. "And what's with the foil? Trying to contact aliens?" You snorted as you turned around and gave him a bottle of honey. "Hide and seek in the dark is fun. And I'm redying my hair. The platinum was fading." You shrugged with the last sentence. "Cool, what color?" You shrugged. You hadn't looked at the box.  
The two of you fell into slightly comfortable silence. You could feel him watching you. You served the food. Bacon and egg sandwiches. You stayed on the other side of the counter. He broke the silence. "When'd you start sleeping on the couch?" You shrugged. You'd started around the time you realized the blanket smelled like him, but no way in hell were you going to tell him that. "When'd you decide it was a good time to start breaking and entering?" You snickered. You heard the smile in his voice as he chuckled. Your empty plate made its way into the dishwasher as you checked the time. 15 more minutes till you could rinse your hair. You took his plate when he was done and put it into the pretty much full dishwasher, you closed it and started it. You leaned against the counter and looked at Papyrus.  
He took a swig of the honey before leaning his head on his hand. "You know... I didn't take you for a hypocrite when I first met you." You rolled your eyes. What a lovely way to start a conversation. "And why'd you say that?" He shrugged. "You just didn't seem like the type of person to ignore their own advice when it came to stressful things like nightmares." You failed to suppress a sigh. "That's how it is with most people. They give out advice, and then don't take it when they're in a similar situation." You shrugged. "Just how it works sometimes."  
He still watched you, he looked unimpressed. You could already tell that this was going to lead to a debate. You didn't know how to stop it though. "So.. Is it more that you just don't want to take your own advice? Or is something else there that's preventing you from doing so?" He asked. You thought for a minute. "Well, sometimes time gets in the way, or you can just be afraid of what would happen if you did take your own advice." "Then what are you afraid of?"  
The question made you stop. You knew what you were afraid of. You also knew the consequences of what could happen if you took your own advice and told someone. They'd call you crazy. They'd leave you. If you told just the wrong person, you could end up in a mental hospital being treated for large scale hallucinations.  
You were afraid of noone believing you, and then in turn, them leaving you.  
You looked away from him and shrugged. The wall was so very interesting now, with all its crevices and minuscule details. He sighed.  
"Riley. Do you trust me?" You looked back at him and opened your mouth to reply. "What about Bunby? And Barren? Asgore? Undyne?" You settled for nodding, of course you trusted them. You wouldn't have bothered sticking around and hanging out with them if you didn't. "Then why don't you talk to any of us? The first time I showed up here in the middle of the night, you talked about trust and how you were glad that I had come to you instead of dealing with it on my own. I- we don't want you to deal with this on your own. And the fact that you've been avoiding us for the past two weeks has worried the others." You were starting to get annoyed with him. You didn't need him lecturing you. You get enough of that from Bunby when you show up late to the usual spot. You could feel yourself reaching a mental breaking point.  
He was silent after a minute, and you were tempted to respond, but then he started talking again. "When we were at the picnic, a car backfired and you'd almost dropped your food trying to reach for your knife. On the first, you had a breakdown when your brother called you, and then you had a panic attack. I've never asked you because I figured you'd talk about it when you felt you were ready. But I've figured out that that's not the case, and if you had the choice, you'd keep it locked away forever." He sighed as he drank a bit of honey. You should go rinse your hair. "I wanna know though. You're my friend, and I can see the toll your nightmares take on you every time I see you. Sometimes its hard to believe you have a perseverant soul, because it looks like self destruction." You snickered. For some reason that struck you as funny. He didn't know anything. You couldn't stop laughing. You pushed yourself on the counter. "If you think its perseverance, then every fucking veteran in the world would have a soul of perseverance because every decision they made on the field, was life or death." You walked out of the room, tossing a comment over your shoulder. "Its also pretty hard talking about something that technically NEVER HAPPENED. I bet you understand that, you've never told me anything either."  
You walked into the bathroom, closed the door, stripped, and stepped back into the shower. You rinsed the dye out of your hair, the water going down the drain was almost black. In front of the mirror, you almost laughed. Your hair was now dark purple. "Oh the irony," you said before walking out. Papyrus was gone, you felt a pang of guilt. You didn't even notice the note where he'd been sitting as you sat on the couch and stared blankly at the ceiling. The guilt made you want to throw up. You were such a bitch at the end. You wouldn't be surprised if he didn't come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post at my usual midnight deadline. Kinda fell asleep mid chapter. Also fell asleep on my girlfriend. Kinda feel like a bitch for doing that to ya'll. anyways. Imma make sure I post tonight, even if its short. so you'll get two in one day.


	18. Counting what you know, and what you don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everythings become a little bit too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I guess it wasnt posted on the same day so you didn't get two posts in one day, but hey, its midnight30 and I didn't fall asleep while writing this.

You wish you could convince yourself you were okay, but everything was just getting so much worse. Nightmares came more frequently, stress piled on top of stress. Not even Cinnamon's love cuddles could help calm you down. You weren't okay, but you were denying it. The circles under your eyes were getting worse, you're pretty sure you're killing brain cells with how little your sleeping. But at this point you didn't really care. You had more work since it was the beginning of the semester and you'd had the smart idea to take more classes instead of two night classes. You don't even think you need the credits. You just need something to DO.

Currently you were sitting at Nevermore Coffee with your usual. The air outside was cold. January was a sad month with no holidays and the painful beginning of school. Your computer was open in front of you and you were creating a presentation on Edgar Allen Poe. Why? Because literature told you to.  
You'd been in this cafe for the past three hours, reordering your coffee, and working on the damn presentation. You felt tired. You had to leave soon, or else you'd probably never make it home. You could text someone to bring you home.... But Bunby was busy, Barren was at work, and Papyrus... You didn't know where he was anymore. You'd been right to think he wouldn't come back. He didn't. You'd found the note he left at his spot, but it was vague and just said he'd be back soon. That was 2 weeks ago, and you couldn't tell if it was your fault anymore. It hurt. A lot. And you hated the reason why. It probably was your fault anyways, you were the bitch and lashed out. For all you knew, he could be avoiding you. You didn't know anything though, he hadn't talked to you since, either.  
You blinked when you felt a tear fall onto your hand, more were starting to follow. You viciously rubbed at your eyes and wiped the tears from your face. That wall wasnt going to break. You weren't going to let it. Not right now. You got up and packed your stuff, throwing the bag over your shoulder and walking out the coffee shop.  
It was a good time to leave anyways since you had to catch the bus. You'd stopped using your car because it was so damn cold. You'd get your heater fixed when you had the time and remembered to do it. The bus got there at the same time you did and you got on. The entire time, you felt like you were going to cry with every bump and pass.  
You got off at the stop in front of your building and hurried inside. You hadnt even made it through the you apartment door when the tears fell again. You couldn't hold back the stress and pain any longer. You had trouble getting your stuff off because you could barely see through your blurred teary vision. You weren't going to work today. You couldn't. Not like this. Someone was bound to choose a song that hit just a little too close to home and you'd break down. You sent a quick text to Grillby, lying and saying that you were sick. You guessed that wasn't a lie. You were sick in your own way, and you were probably going to cry yourself sick. Your phone was lost somewhere on the floor after you dropped it. You collapsed onto the couch, pressed your face into a pillow, curled into a ball, and cried.

You don't know how long you cried. 

You don't know how long you forgot to breath.

You don't know when Cinnamon pushed himself into your chest. 

You don't know how long things that never happened, and things from your childhood, flitted across your mind.

You don't know what time it was when you heard a knock on your door. 

You don't know why you got up to answer the door.

You knew how many times the person at the door knocked until you got there and opened it. 14 times. 

You knew the relief you felt when you opened the door and didn't see Bunby or Barren. 

You knew the calm that came after a while when you sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket and being hugged by a honey-cigarette smelling skeleton. You could hear his soul beating in his ribcage, feel him breathing. It was calm. You didn't cry anymore, not because you'd forced yourself to stop in the name of company, but because you didn't feel the need to anymore.  
The sun went down beyond the window, and the room was filled with a soft green glow. Papyrus' hand rubbed your back, it felt like he was rubbing a hot pad around your back. 

You don't know how he knew, but you didn't care.

You knew you trusted him.

You knew you loved him.

Cinnamon pressed his head into your stomach as he got into your lap. He purred as he laid down. His tail brushed back and forth over your ankle.

You knew how you got Cinnamon.

Papyrus didn't move until pizza got here. You don't know when he ordered. You don't remember him making a call, you would have felt it in his chest. 

You knew how many slices the two of you ate. You had 2, he had 3. 

You still didn't know what time it was when he'd convinced you to let go for a minute. You didn't want to, but you did. You almost cried again when he said he had to leave for a few minutes. You didn't want him to. He promised he'd be back in just a few minutes. He hated making promises, so you let him go. He disappeared.  
The room felt empty. You felt like a kid that was afraid of the dark. You were though. The dark was made of nightmares and pain. The dark was where bullets started flying. The dark was where you were trapped. The dark was where-  
You lit the candle.  
Cinnamon slowly filled the air. You imagined miniature Cinnamon kitties floating in the air, like they were in bubbles. You don't know how many filled your imagination.  
Papyrus appeared back in the room with a pop. He set a bag down as he sat down where he'd been. You leaned back into him. His hand returned to your back, the green light filtering through the room. 

You didn't know what the green light was, but you didn't care. It was warm and nice.  
He convinced you to let go of him again, and you were afraid he was going to leave again. He wasn't. He got you to go take a shower and change. You did. You got out of the bathroom and went to the living room. It seemed like your shower had given him enough time to go get Oreos and a fresh jug of milk. He wrapped you in the blanket again and started the movie.  
You shared Oreos and milk like you had at Wendy's all those weeks ago. It seemed like forever since that had happened.

Will bandaged Elizabeth's wound. 

You didn't know when you fell asleep.

You knew he didn't leave you alone. His soul beat through his ribs, through the veil of sleep. It filled the pleasant emptiness with the rhythmic sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh.... This happened.... Here....  
> I still don't really know. But I like this chapter. 
> 
> Tell me if theres any typos or sentences that don't make sense, in any of my chapters, and ill fix it.


	19. Tags and Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans wants you to do something as his prize for winning your little game.

You ran up the mountain, Sans not to far behind. Your game of tag would come to an end if you didn't go FASTER. You weaved through the trees, moving farther up the mountain. Just a little farther. Then there would be a ledge in the side of the mountain with a ten foot drop on the other side. Sans wouldn't take it. But you would. The other side was covered with dead leaves from the previous fall. You could drop and roll, and then use your momentum and the smoothness of the loose leaves to slide down the other side. You could keep running.  
You reached the ledge, climbed on top of it, ran across, jumped over a hole in the middle, and jumped off the other side of the ledge. You passed between a pair of trees, and landed with a roll. You could hear Sans on the ledge behind you, panting, but unwilling to give up. Your momentum from the roll carried you into a slide, just like you thought it would. Leaves turned to dirt and you started running again. The sound of Sans on the leaves seemed so far away. You knew what was ahead. You'd come here before, multiple times.  
You broke through the tree line at the bottom of the mountain, and stopped on sand, right at the water's edge. Right at the ocean's edge. You stared out across the water, the late afternoon son reflecting off the blue surface didn't blind you as much as it should. Sans came out of the trees behind you, you turned around and smiled at him. He stared at the horizon as he came up beside you. "Wowie..." He said. You chuckled. There was a beat of silence. Then a poke in your side and grin on Sans' face. "I got you!" He said, his eyes in stars, "I win!" You chuckled, "okay then, what do you want as your prize for your glorious victory?" The two of you began the journey back over the mountain as he thought.

It room roughly two hours to get back over the mountain and to the park by walking. Sans thought the entire way. Papyrus was at the park with Bunby. The four of you had come to the park just to hang out for absolutely no reason at all. Then you'd started up a game of tag with Sans, and the two of you had taken off on the adventure. Papyrus grinned when you came over. "So, who won?" You pointed at the smaller skeleton that was lost in thought. "He did, after ending up on the other side of the mountain. And he seems to be having trouble deciding what he wants his prize to be for catching me." Papyrus chuckled and nodded. You sat down next to Bunby and she started picking the leaves out of your short messy purple hair as you stole her water bottle and downed half of it.  
Sans dropped his fist into his hand with a determined look as he got up and came over to you. He pulled you to your feet and dragged you a little ways away from the others. You snickered, "what's with the secrecy? Is it something your not allo-"  
"I want you to go on a date with Papyrus." He said simply. You snapped your mouth shut in shock and stared at him for a moment. "But Sans, that isn't for you..? It wouldn't technically be your prize." You said. His eyelights were bright and determined. "But its what I want you to do. My prize is you doing something. It could've been taking me out to get coffee or something like that. It still would've been something you would've done, and something I wanted. So, I want you to go on a date with Papy."  
He looked so hopeful, you couldn't take that away from him. You sighed. "Fine... I'll do it. But no pressuring me." He nodded excitedly and went back to the group. You ran a hand down your face. You weren't sure if Sans knew about your crush, or if he just had a weird sense of humor. You went back to the group. 

 

You were sitting on your couch, your phone in hand, and staring at the ceiling. You didn't know if you should do it. You already had the text typed out. All you had to do was press send and wait for his reply. But... If he said no... You'd feel like an idiot and it would hurt. If he said yes, you didn't know how it'd go from there. If he said no, you wouldn't be able to look at him without wanting to cry. If he said yes, there was the possible potential to become something more. You sat there mulling it over for another 20 minutes.  
Then your phone vibrated, spooking you. Your finger touched the screen. You panicked and looked at the screen.

Papy the Dragon  
Feb 2, 20XX 9:54pm  
[knock knock]

[Hey Papyrus, will you go on a date with me?]

You dropped your phone in mortification. Shit. You weren't ready. You were nowhere near ready. You couldn't do it.  
You scrambled for your phone to try and play the message off as a joke. You paused. You couldn't do that.... It already hurt thinking about pretending you didn't want that. You set your phone on the coffee table, and sat on the couch. You'd wait for the response, and deal with the consequences after. Like an adult.  
Minutes that felt like hours (roughly 10 minutes) passed before your phone vibrated on the coffee table. Cinnamon lifted his head from your lap and stared at it before looking up at you. You didn't want to look, but it'd be rude not to.

Papy the Dragon  
Feb 2, 20XX 10:05  
[yes]

You breathed a sigh of relief and fist bumped the air. You flopped on your back, smiling at the ceiling. No matter how much you hated fate, sometimes it actually had something good planned.  
You needed to figure something out. You needed it to be soon, or else you'd put it off forever. Tomorrow? Sure, why not. You didn't have anything planned tomorrow.

[would tomorrow at 8:30pm work for you?]

[yea that works]

You wondered what he was thinking. You hoped that this wouldn't ruin your friendship with him.

 

It was 8:02 when you left to go pick Papyrus up from his house. You were in a pair of nice jeans, with a purple Tshirt and a nice jacket. You arrived exactly two minutes early. At 8:29, you got out of the car and went up to the door of their house. Sans opened the door and called Papyrus over. The tall skeleton was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue sweater.  
You opened the car door for him, then got in on your own side, and you drove. You knew where you were going. You knew how long it would take to get there since you had to take a longer route, and would be at a different part of the beach.  
The car ride was calm. Papyrus smoked a cigarette, and you tried to not overthink anything. 

There wasn't anybody on the beach when the two of you got there. He smiled, "So this is why it was non-formal." You nodded. "Yea, wouldn't want to get sand in anybody's fancy pants."  
The two of you say on the beach and ate dinner. You'd picked this for a reason. A) there was a meteor shower tonight, and B) you hadn't really known what else to do that would've made this more enjoyable for him.  
He looked happy, staring at the stars. You saw his eyelights brighten when the meteor shower started. You could see it all, being so far away from any source of light pollution. You pulled you eyes off of him to watch the shower yourself. It was nice, and if you didn't know any better, you could've mistaken this for a regular friendly hangout.  
Papyrus cleared his throat, you looked at him. "What.. prompted you to ask me? The message seemed kinda sudden and out of place, like it was an accident." You had a bad feeling about this. Your palms were sweaty. "It uhh... Kinda was an accident? The timing I mean. Ummm..." He was watching you, his old curious look on his face. "It wasn't necessarily my idea... Yet..." You were having trouble putting your jumble of thoughts into words. "I've been having a lot of people yell at me to tell you.... And then Sans said he wanted me to go on a date with you as his prize... And I sat on the couch for like 30 minutes thinking about whether or not I should do it. And then you messaged me and I accidentally pressed send. And..." His gaze hadn't changed the entire time you'd rambled. You felt yourself lose hope a little. "This... was a stupid idea...." You mumbled, looking away. "I can... take you home if you want... Or you can just teleport there.... I'm sorry... It was a stupid idea and I shouldn't have consid-"  
"Riley." You looked back at him. He had his trademark lazy grin stretched across his face. He scooted closer across the sand, and pulled you into a hug. "Its fine, Riley. I'm glad you asked. The message just seemed a bit off when I first got it." He chuckled. "You don't usually answer a knock knock joke by asking someone out." You laughed too.  
The two of you watched the meteor shower in comfortable silence, you were leaning on Papyrus, and he had an arm around your shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay something relationship wise actually happened.


	20. What'll happen next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter 20!! And kill me later!  
> Also, sorry its so short, it just seemed like the right place to end it. And I technically ran out of time since I started late.

You felt like you were walking on eggshells. After the date with Papyrus, neither of you had done anything to further the possible relationship. You didn't want to do anything lest it makes him change his mind. You were careful. The skeleton was currently sitting in his chosen spot at the counter, watching you cook. This was a frequent occurrence. Sometimes he'd come out of nowhere just to eat with you. You think what you make is good... you hope it is. You'd feel bad if Papyrus didn't like it. But he had to right? He kept coming back, so that counted as something at least. You were currently making honey infused pancakes. You'd borrowed some of his honey before he got there, and he probably didn't know you'd used it unless he could smell it. Cinnamon was eating tuna from his bowl on the other side of the counter, closer to the wall.  
You poured more batter into the pan and put the other ones on the plate in the microwave. You were nearing the end of your batter, so you put some bacon in the skillet as well. He hummed behind you, and you glanced over your shoulder. "What?" He shrugged, "nothin... Just thinkin."  
You raised an eyebrow. "About what?"  
"Stuff."  
"Like?"  
"Stuff."  
You huffed a sigh and flipped the pancakes. He chuckled.  
You grabbed the pancake plate from the microwave and set it next to the bacon plate. You grabbed some for you, and then moved aside for Papyrus. He grabbed his food, and the two of you went and sat on the couch. The tv was on and you chose Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You were thankful you hated mushrooms already since the episode was the one with the poisonous mushroom mutant hiding in the sewers and making people see their worst fears. You couldn't pinpoint your absolute worst, and you didn't think Papyrus could either.  
You checked your phone for the time after putting the dishes in the dishwasher. February 11th, 20XX 11:21. It was so close to Valentine's Day. You sighed and stretched. Maybe the two of you would do something. Or neither of you do and you both spend it alone.

 

It was the night before Valentine's Day when your phone vibrated on the floor. You were laying on the floor. Why? Because you felt sick. You felt like, if you got up, you'd just vomit. You thought about leaving the message unread until later, but it vibrated again, signifying it was a call. You sighed and answered even though the number was unfamiliar.

"This is Petrovich." You said in a monotone voice.  
"Ah, just the one I was looking for. Tell me Riley. Would you be willing to meet up with me sometime? Say... Tomorrow." A sickeningly sweet voice said from the other side.  
You were lay there, frozen. This wasn't good. It wasn't your mother. It was a different woman you'd hoped never to talk to again. But more importantly than who she was, HOW DID SHE GET YOUR NUMBER. You were going to ask, but your body decided before your mind could. You hung up on her. And then you called Papyrus in a panic. You don't know why you called him. You just did. He was at work, but answered the phone.  
He was there in less than a minute as you tried to get to your feet without throwing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depending on how late it is when I get back, or how tired I am, there may or may not be a chapter posted on Halloween night/nov 1 morning.  
> The ending to this chapter kinda fits the holiday doesn't it? :P


	21. Creative title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here. I'm ready to pass out so just take it

/You felt like you'd gotten drugged and then beaten. Or beaten then drugged. Either way you were in the hospital. The room was dark, and the moon barely showed between the clouds outside. You hurt, everywhere. But it seemed to have been dulled down. You were scared for a minute, that you'd lost your leg. You couldn't feel it, or your arm, but your arm was on your stomach. You rubbed your other leg up against the one you couldn't feel, it was in a cast. Your arm was just wrapped in multiple layers of bandages. You tried to sit up. You couldn't. The heart monitor started beeping quicker as your heart rate increased from panic. Why couldn't you move? What had even happened? How did you end up in the hospital?  
A nurse rushed in. You couldn't understand what she was saying as she spoke in a hushed tone and pushed you the little bit you'd lifted off the bed. She pulled away and tweaked some things on the IV drip. "There's a button by your right hand. Push it if you need anything." She said, louder and less like she was speaking to a child that'd had a nightmare. She left the room, leaving you alone in the quiet darkness....

The room was bright when you woke up again. The sun was shining through the windows, just above the top, so it wasn't blinding you as you stared out the window. Alex was next to you, he had a loose grip on your non-injured hand and he was reading a book. You were sitting up now, thanks to the nurse changing the position of the bed.  
It hurt to breathe. You had a few cracked ribs from what the nurse said. A few cracked ribs, a broken fibula, cracked collarbone, and your left arm had deep scrapes and cuts all around it. Alex said you'd been jumped on the way home from school, but you didn't know by whom. Though one girl came into mind... though it wouldn't make sense why your girlfriend would jump you. Like, the two of you were dating.... Sometimes you wished you weren't. She was nice and all... sometimes... other times, she wasn't.  
She walked in with her sickly sweet smile. "Aw babe, you look terrible. I'm sorry you got jumped. I'm sure we can find the ones who did it when you come back to school." Terrible... She couldn't even say sorry before saying you looked like shit. You felt like shit. You strained a smile at her, nodding. "Sure thing..." She left you a get well card and a kiss on the forehead before saying she had to leave. She was a really good liar, but once you knew her well enough, it became obvious. You felt your shoulders get heavier as an invisible weight settled on them, you stared down at your lap. She didn't have anywhere to be. She just didn't want to spend time with you. So she lied. Alex squeezed your hand a little bit./ 

 

The blankets were warm when you woke up. You could smell honey and cigarette in front of you. There was an arm around your waist. Papyrus was there. You didn't know if he was awake or not, but you didn't care. You scooter closer, wrapping your own arm around him and pressing your face into his tank top. You felt him chuckle. "Mornin sunshine." You smiles and blushes into his shirt, mumbling a "good morning" back. His arm tightened around you.  
It wasn't quite official yet, but it pretty much was. All the two of you had to do was say that you were actually dating. Undyne and Bunby were ecstatic, begging you to make it official.  
"What time is it?" You asked quietly. He shifted, his head looking over his shoulder. "About 1am." You sighed, and realized that he wasn't here when you'd gone to bed. You looked up at him. "When did you get here?" You asked while yawning. He shrugged, "Maybe like 10:50?" Humming, you turned your head back into his shoulder. "Why aren't you asleep?" His hand tightened on your shirt. You didn't need to question it. He'd had a nightmare. Your legs tangled with his and you started falling asleep again.

It was passed Valentines Day, and She was still calling you. You'd made her profile name "DO NOT ANSWER." You wish she'd stop. You didn't need her nor did you want her in your life. You moved for a reason. You'd avoid all possible communication possible with her.  
She'd gotten your number from Alex, and you cussed the crap out of him. He was sorry.

He hadn't known about what happened with her, even though he was there after you'd gotten jumped.

The scars on your arm itched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION  
> HERE FOR VOTE ON NAME OF NEW CHICK  
> 1) Ara Crimson  
> 2) Kim Lou  
> OR  
> 3) Terra Downheart
> 
> Voting will go on until I decide to actually bring her into play. That won't be for a few chapters tho
> 
> And hey  
> You got your Halloween night/ nov 1st update! :P


	22. Oh yay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus doesn't know what Hogwarts is. You need to get out town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent 30 minutes sitting here, trying to remember the word for cooler.  
> Also, theres a terrible knock knock joke in here. Spoilers :P

You'd just walked into work when you got the message from your brother. SHE was apparently going to be in Ebbot City soon (as in, within the next month) And he had twins. Meaning you had two nieces. You'd told him to tell you when She was going to be in town so you could get the hell out of there. You wanted to do everything you could to avoid her. And you also had nieces you had to meet. Might as well take the opportunity, right?  
You were stressed, but the music soon helped it disappear. The bar had gotten a new band. You don't remember what their name was, and you didn't feel like putting effort into figuring it out. At least, not right now.They played every few nights, Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. When it was on a day you worked (which was usually during the week), the two of you alternated, they would start the night, take an intermission, and then you'd play some fancy new techno songs you learned and could play because your keyboard was awesome like that. You two would alternate throughout the night. They only really stayed till like 1am so you got two hours to yourself afterwards, and they got two hours to themselves before you show up at 10.  
You sat with Papyrus as the band jammed out. Nothing was official still, and it probably should've been, but neither of you have asked yet. Undyne and Bunby are still trying to get you to ask first. But you don't really want to. What you were right now was okay, and if he wanted to make it official, he could ask.... Unless you both had the same mentality... then there would be a problem and you should maybe ask at some point? Not right now though. You'd gotten the butterbear recipe off of the Internet and had Grillby make it for you. It was HEAVEN. You were a Slytherin. Bunby was a Hufflepuff, and Barren was also a Slytherin. You're pretty sure Sans and Undyne are Ravenclaw. Alphys is definitely a Gryffindor. And Papyrus... you think he's a Slytherin too, but you're just guessing. You were probably way off base and Undyne was Hufflepuff, Sans a Gryffindor, Alphys a Slytherin, and Papyrus a Ravenclaw. You snorted at your own crazy mental task of trying to sort them into Hogwarts houses. Papyrus looked at you with a fry hanging between his teeth. You snorted again, he smiled. "Knock knock." You rolled your eyes, tempted to tell him the door was open. "Who's there?"  
"Honey."  
"Honey who?"  
"Honey, what's on your mind?"  
You snickered and took a sip of your butterbear. "Just thinking," you said. "Thinking about what?" He spun his stool to face you. You turned yours around to look at the crowd. "Hogwarts," you said as you again took a drink. He was silent for a minute and dread filled your stomach. "What's Hogwarts?" You could have cried. Instead, you spun back around to the bar and groaned as your head hit the surface. Papyrus looked around, confused. "Seriously, what's Hogwarts?"  
You sat back up as your fist hit the table. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is the main setting of the Harry Potter series where a boy who's name is Harry Potter, first lives under a staircase is a wizard, and there's this dick named Voldemort out to kill him because Harry is the Chosen One. And Voldemort tries to kill him near the end of each book. The books follow Harry's adventures through his 7 years of 'oh shit I'm a wizard and the Dark Lord wants me dead.'"  
He stares at you an blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. "Never heard of it." You nearly screamed as your head hit the bar. Why did this have to happen to YOU of all people? Why couldn't he just know what it is so he can help you place him and the others in a house without them having to make Pottermore accounts just to answer a question (maybe two if you want to know their patronuses. Yours is a swan.).  
The band finished with their set, and you got up with a suffering sigh. You cast a pained glance at Papyrus before going up on stage and plugging the speakers into your keyboard.  
You sat down with your fingers on the keys, and began to play.

 

Shit. Shit. Shit. She was coming this weekend. You needed out of the city. Grillby understood, he'd heard about your run-in with your mother, and gave you the weekend through Wednesday off. You hoped it would be enough until She would get out of town.  
Papyrus was standing in your bedroom doorway with Cinnamon in his arms as he watched you haphazardly throw clothes into a suitcase. "Y'know, I could come with you. Sans would love to take care of Cinnamon." You made a noise as you looked under your bed for where your phone charger was plugged in. He raised a bonebrow as you stood up and pulled your bed away from the wall. You glanced at him, "What?" He rolled his eyes with a snicker. "I said that I could come with you if you wanted." You opened your mouth to ask about who would take care of Cinnamon, but he cut you off. "Sans would like to take care of Cinnamon, and if we both know me, we know that I'd forget. Sans wouldn't." You sighed. "Yea, but are you even remotely close to ready to go?" He shrugged. "More or less. I got my overnight bag repacked at home." You pushed a blanket into the suitcase before closing it. "How man-" "Six sets of clothes. Seriously Riley, calm down."  
You huffed and looked at him, "You don't know who She is. You don't know why I want to take every step I can to AVOID her." He sighed. "And again, you haven't told me anything." You groaned. "Please not now Papyrus. This really isn't the time to get into an argument over my hypocritical habits." You still hadn't told him about the whole war that never happened, why you disliked (hated would be a better word, but hate is a strong word according to Sans) your mother, and you obviously hadn't told him who She was or why you wanted to avoid her.  
You grabbed your suitcase off the bed, and walked past him. He turned off the light and followed you. You sighed and turned back to him. "Fine, you can come. You have 7 minutes to get your stuff." He nodded, set the cat down, and blipped out of existence. Your suitcase by the door, you slid into the kitchen and grabbed the stuff you'd packed for the 13 hour drive to Glenfall. The fridge bounced shut and you grabbed the two six packs of Gatorade and ginger ale. Life hack when you drink beer on occasion: save the little tote things the 6 packs come in, they can help with packing cups while moving, and making drinks/snacks easily accessible in the cooler without having to dig around. You'd put an ice bag (wrapped in a towel) in the bottom to keep the stuff cold and so that you wouldn't have to got through ice to get what you wanted. Your fingers didn't like that.  
You took the cooler down to your car and put it in the back seat. When you got back up to your apartment, Papyrus was there and your phone was ringing with a call from Her. You rolled your eyes, silenced your phone, grabbed your suitcase and left. Papyrus closed and locked the door behind the two of you before following you down to the car. Baggage went into the trunk. Papyrus got into the passenger seat, you made sure he could reach the cooler, and then you got in.  
You pulled out of the parking lot, and out into the streets. It was 2:34pm. If you kept going and didn't sleep (that had originally been your plan. You'd done it before and stayed awake via the strongest coffee you could find. But now you had a friend to drive with you, so you might need to stop at a hotel so the two of you could sleep for an hour or two.), you'd get there around 3:50am. If you stopped to sleep somewhere, maybe 5am.  
You had him text your brother to tell him you were bringing a friend, and you were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyo!! I just realized that today was Wednesday and that I missed out on a club meeting because I was too miserable during lunch to even consider anybody except my gf, and the lovely people online liked my guts. Yay :)  
> Anyways, on a happier note.  
> I've decided that She will be formally introduced on Saturday in some way shape or form. Do not expect it to be pleasant. :P  
> Two votes have been placed!!  
> 1) Ara Crimson -1  
> 2) Kim Lou -1  
> 3) Terra Downheart -0
> 
> Please help me decide which name to give her!! :)  
> Good night mates.


	23. You made it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post earlier. Kinda fell asleep while writing.

You woke up to being picked up out of the car by Papyrus. It was dark out, you guessed maybe midnight. The blanket you'd had in the car was wrapped around you like a cocoon. You were too tired to really think so you just pressed your face into his arm.  
You heard the tingle of a door as he walked through one. It was suddenly very bright and you clenched your eyes shut and pressed them further into his arm. There was talking. A receptionist you assumed based on the dialogue. Papyrus was walking again when the talking stopped. Another door was opened. The room was warm and the corner lamp was on.  
He set you on the bed, pulling the covers over you. The lamp turned off, the room engulfed by darkness. The bed on the other side of you sunk down and the covers shifted. Your back was pressed against his chest. You could feel him breathing.  
Sleep was easy to find.

You were sitting in a Starbucks coffee drive-thru at 5am. The car in front of you was taking forever to place their order. Papyrus was going through music channels. He stopped on one that was playing indie. He looked at you, and you shrugged. Taking that as an ok, he leaned back in his chair as the car in front pulled forward.  
The two of you soon had your breakfast, and you were back on the road. Since you'd slept, you wouldn't get to Glenfall till about 1pm. Which was fine, meant that Alex would most likely be awake and there would probably be lunch.  
You drove till the next gas station, pulled in and refilled the tank. Then Papyrus took the wheel.

You had a bit of trouble finding Alex's house once you got there. You refused to use a GPS because they were annoying and never gave you the most efficient route. Though your route was hardly efficient.  
The house you found was a two story blue gray house with a fenced in front lawn that had dog toys scattered around it. There was in fact a dog laying in the middle of the path to the door, and he looked up at you as you opened the gate. He was a German Shepard. And you guessed his name was Harlem.  
He stood up and barked at you excitedly as you walked up the path with Papyrus in tow. Alex opened the door as you stepped onto the porch. He stopped, looking surprised, and then smiled. "Hey sis. How are ya?" He said as he hugged you. He smelled like apples and cinnamon. He let go as you shrugged. Papyrus introduced himself as the dog rubbed against your leg. You crouched down and scratched his head, checking his tag. Yup, Harlem.  
The three of you and the dog went inside. It was silent and the smell of chicken wafted out of the kitchen. Alex led you and Papyrus to the kitchen. There, his wife, Carrie, was making lunch. She had blonde hair and brown eyes. She was kind and greeted you with a hug. The babies were sleeping, so you'd meet them later.  
Alex started talking about all the things you guys could do.  
You were worried something would go wrong....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting goes on until Saturday night.  
> Ara Crimson -2  
> Kim Lou -1  
> Terra Downheart -0


	24. Snowed in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You clung to the fact that you were alive and living in a heaven compared to the hell of war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I fell asleep while writing this again. Sorry :P

Something did go miraculously wrong. Though you couldn't seem to see it as 'wrong.' You guys had gotten snowed in, but at least the power hadn't gone out. It was Saturday and you'd been there for two days before it snowed. Youd leave on Monday, maybe.... It was March and it was snowing. Yay.  
The twins, Marilyn and Heather, were three years old, had brown hair and hazel eyes. The two were on the floor with you. Marilyn was coloring, though it wasn't so much coloring as it was scribbling. It was still adorable. Heather was in your lap with a little cat stuffed animal. She seemed to be easily pleased while Marilyn couldn't settle on just one thing. It amused you how different the two were even though they were twins. At least they weren't creepy like the ones in horror movies.  
Papyrus was still asleep in the guest room while you were downstairs with Carrie and the toddlers. Carrie was a nice woman. She was strong, independent, and caring. You felt happy Alex had found her a good partner, though a little pissed you hadn't found out he was married and had kids sooner. Alex was in the shower as of that moment. You snickered, "Does he still use cherry blossom body wash?" Carrie looked at you in surprise from where she sat on the couch. "What?"  
You smiled. "Does he still use cherry blossom body wash?" She looked confuse and shook her head. "I don't think so.... I think he uses green apple.... Why?" You shrugged. "Just remembered that he loved all the girly smells from Bath and Body Works. His favorite was Japanese Cherry Blossom, and before he left, he'd had like 16 extra bottles of it in the closet." Carrie giggled. "I didn't know that! How funny." The two of you chatted ideally as the twins did their thing, though you still kept an eye on them.  
Papyrus came downstairs at the same time as you heard the shower shut off. He sat on the couch behind you. Carrie looked between the two of you, "How'd the two of you meet?" She asked, assuming it was official, though you weren't going to deny it. Papyrus was still too tired to answer and made an incoherent sentence. You chuckled. "I got hit by a dog." Carrie looked at you in confusion. "A dog?" You nodded. "Yup. A big German Shepard going after a frisbee. He ran me over and I didn't feel like getting up so I stayed there and pouted. And then his brother came over. And that's pretty much how it went." She nodded. "How'd you meet Alex?" You asked her.  
Her face turned beet red. "Uhmm..." You raised and eyebrow. "Is it not appropriate for three year olds?" She nodded. "But its not like they know what a one night stand is...." You stared at her. "Wait... So you had sex with my brother and then had a shotgun wedding?" She laughed nervously. "Not quite... I'd just graduated highschool and had ended up going to a party. Alex was there. I'd kinda known him from when I ran into him at the library and made him drop all of his books." You snorted. "And then we got drunk and went back to his place.... And then yea, shotgun wedding and nine months later there were twins in a cradle." Papyrus seemed very confused. "Shotgun?" You turned around in your spot. "Its where you get married, like super fast, because the lady is pregnant." He nodded. "Its also a type of gun, and is also another term for the passenger seat." You added. He nodded again.  
Alex came downstairs. "Anybody know what ya wanna do today?" He asked. His hair was still wet, and was a short stringy tangled mess. He sat next to his wife as Marilyn got up and climbed onto his lap. Papyrus was asleep again so there was no input from him, but you suggested watching a movie. Heather was excited. She wanted to watch Wall-E. Marilyn wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast. The kids were arguing but stopped when you suggested watching both. You personally couldn't choose one. The parents agreed, and Carrie got up to go make popcorn.

Beauty and the Beast was first, and Papyrus woke up when Gaston stopped Belle in the market. His arm found its way around your shoulders. You really should ask at some point, but it didn't seem worth it. The two of you were fine.  
You wondered if he'd ever dance with you.  
You knew you'd fight for him if it came down to it, no matter what you remembered.  
Gaston fell off the roof. You imagined Her falling off a building too. That would certainly solve your problem.

Heather sat in your lap for Wall-E.  
Wall-E didn't have any friends. He worked alone in a wasteland.  
You remembered the battlefields and how they'd been littered with bomb shells and bodies and various other tools of war. You remember stripping your dead comrades of their guns and ammo, of their food and provisions.  
Harlem jumped on the couch.  
You remembered running through broken cities and jumping over rubble with a pack of dogs.

Wall-E clung to the spaceship as it took off.  
You clung to the fact that you were alive, and living in a heaven compared to the hell of war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes go on until tonight:  
> Ara Crimson -2  
> Kim Lou -1  
> Terra Downheart -0


	25. The chapter the author is ashamed to have had so much fun writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're home  
> You get stabbed in the shoulder  
> You sit at the park with Papyrus  
> Ara Crimson has entered from stage left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Please don't kill me :P

Papyrus drove the majority of the way home. Which was also why you were at his house instead of your own.  
You'd gone out Sunday night with Alex, and went to a bar. Smart idea. You started drinking. Again, smart idea. You started playing poker with Alex and his friends. You had beginners luck for three rounds. You don't remember if there were more or not because you drank enough that you found out how to become a black out drunk. Yay. You'd slept until about noon Monday, yesterday, morning, and woke up with a killer hangover. You'd downed some ibuprofen, water, food, and then you tried to drive. You were successful for about three hours before you had to stop the car and vomit. Papyrus took over the last 10 hours, and you ended up sleeping the entire time, only waking up when he stopped for gas. He'd driven to his house because it was closer and also 2am. You weren't awake then either.  
You don't know if you'd clung to him like a koala or if he was just too lazy, but you were currently being hugged by the sleeping skeleton. You didn't mind... you just had work tonight and also needed to check on Cinnamon, make sure nobody broke into your house, tell Bunby you'd made it home and weren't dead, and also had to get groceries. The groceries could probably wait till tomorrow, but they were still on your to-do list. You didn't know how to wake him up. He'd always woken to the smell of food when he was at your place, but he usually wasn't hugging you like a teddy bear. You wiggled around, trying to get him to loosen his hold just a little bit so you could get out. Plan backfired, abort, abort. His grip tightened around you instead of loosening. You huffed and whined like a child, uselessly flailing your legs. You didn't want to actually hurt him.  
He grunted and one of his arms shifted. You looked up at him. He looked like he was afraid. Like he was in pain. There was something else in the look on his face, it wasn't sadness either. He was /losing/ a fight. You didn't know what was going on in his dream, his nightmare, but you'd know that look anywhere. You'd seen it on your commanding officer's faces during the war. You'd seen it in your own reflection off of windows and water. He was losing a fight, and from the little bits he'd told you about losing his brother, you guessed this went right along with that.  
His closed right socket started smoking orange. He looked angry.  
You freed your arm and reached up, your hand touching his jaw in a calm comforting way as you wriggles some more to get a little bit freer, just enough to balance on your other arm.  
His eyes flew open, but he didn't see you. You could tell that he couldn't see anything that was HERE. And that was bad. You didn't know what he saw, but since it was a fight, you were in trouble.  
He sat up. You quietly rolled off the bed, and crouched in a non-threatening way. He was silent. You slowly stood up from your crouch, and took a small step forward. You stepped on a paper, the piece wrinkling and crinkling as your weight rested on it. His head snapped towards you, right eye aflame with orange magic. "Well, you've made it this far, haven't you kid? I would congratulate you, but I don't think you deserve it." You stayed still, stayed silent. His eyes were trained on you, but he wasn't looking at you. "You know what I will do? Give you some of my time. I think I'll have a great time. You, not so much." He paused for a second, his hand flickering with magic. "So what do you say, kiddo? A little fight with me" Another pause, this one longer than the last. "Heh. I thought so." He sighed. he sounded tired. "It's a beautiful day outside... The sky is blue and the grass is green... On days like these, kids like you... Should be burning in hell." With that, a cartoon heart was seemingly ripped out of your chest and you were thrown across the room. Bone attacks similar to the ones you'd seem Sans training with appeared.  
You had to snap him out of it, but you didn't know how. Your mind worked fast as you dodged attacks and were thrown against the walls. You couldn't let any form of fear or panic slip into your mind. This was Papyrus. You'd take a bullet for him if you had to. This was nothing compared to that.  
You were thrown into his bookshelf, pretty much all of the books on the top four shelves fell on you. So many heavy textbooks on quantum mechanics, astronomy and science in general. There were fiction books, all of which you'd read before. all of which had a happy ending. All of which, the knight in shining armor (though that's not always true) saves the day.  
You'd been relatively compliant through the entire thrashing, but this time, you stood your ground as you got up, and only barely sidestepped around a bone attack. Your body ached, you were surely going to be covered in bruises. You took a deep breath, kept your eyes on him, steadied your heart. The dimly glowing purple heart floating in front of you turned blue. You felt gravity pulling you down. A giant animal, dog you presumed, skull appeared. It opened its maw, you heard the charger of a laser. You closed your eyes, crouched lower to the ground.  
This was just like every routine you'd been through with enemy aircraft. You could avoid it. Or you could take it down. It was Papyrus' magic... you only had one choice.  
Your head snapped up as you opened your eyes and you dashed under the skull. The room was lot with white light.  
"Papyrus!" You said. It seemed louder than it actually was. The room seemed smaller. Colder. The light faded, and a bone attack went through your shoulder, and pulled you back against the wall, the bone burying itself there. First one to hit its mark. You froze, eyes wide and staring at nothing. Everything was blurry, yet in sharp focus. It was silent, except shouting and gunfire echoed in your head. Tears streamed down your face.  
You'd let the panic slip in.  
The skull laser attack thing was gone. All attacks were gone. Papyrus was staring at you in horror from where he stood. He was back. He could see you. He was here. The attack in your shoulder disappeared as he crouched down in front of you.  
The noise faded out as he started speaking, one hand on your face, making you look at him, the other glowing green on your shoulder. "Riley- shit- I'm so sorry- I didn't know- Riley." He couldn't finish any of his thoughts. He was panicking too. The pain in your shoulder amplified itself, even as you felt it mending, as you leaned forward and hugged him. "Shhhh, its okay Papyrus. I'm fine. You're fine. I'm alive. We're here." His arms wrapped tightly around you and his face buried itself in your hair. "I'm so sorry Riley. I didn't mean to...." He trailed off. "Shhhhh" you cooed. "Its fine. I'm fine. Really. This is nothing. I'm alive. I'm breathing. I'm HERE. And so are you." You'd been through so much worse before. This really was nothing compared to the phantom pains you'd wake up with sometimes. 

 

The rest of the morning passed in silence and apologies. Papyrus still apologized for attacking you. He kept checking to make sure your shoulder was alright, that he hadn't hurt anything else.  
You're head was in his lap and he was checking your shoulder again. There was a little sporadic star shaped scar where the bone had pierced. He kept running his fingers over it. They were rough and cold against your skin.  
You sat up and pulled him to his feet. You slipped on your shoes and led him out the door, fingers intertwined. He was silent the entire walk to the park. You walked along the path, no real aim except the calm that this place brought.  
You got him to sit down under a tree. You told him the stories you'd decided on all the people you always saw walking the park's path.  
An old man and his wife went to bingo every Tuesday. A little girl with a big dog was going to her grandmother's house. The German Shepard that had run you over, and its owner that came to play fetch were therapists.  
All the stories were unique and different. Some were funny. Some were sad. Some were made up on the spot because you couldn't remember the one for a certain person. Papyrus listened to them all, the tension and anxiety from this morning seeming to melt off his shoulders. Your hands were intertwined in his lap.  
You paused after another story to look at him. He was tracing your knuckles, and the minuscule scars on them. He followed those up your arm to where the skin was marred with what could have been mistaken for a burn scar, but was actually what had happened when you'd been jumped and your arm was repeatedly scraped and stepped on and cut. His eyes trailed up and down the scar, then he looked up at you.  
You pressed your lips to his teeth in a kiss.

An all too familiar gasp filled your ears.  
Your head snapped up and you stated at the person staring down at you. Papyrus looked at her too. You growled and stood up. The woman that was in front of you was your age. She had black curly hair and hypnotizing electric blue eyes. You knew this face. Those eyes. Those lips. You knew everything about her. Today, she wore a dark blue pencil skirt with a red Fall Out Boy tshirt and boots. You hated the way you were still drawn to her, how your heart seemed to ache. Love never truly dies, but it can lessen and someone else can fill that spot.  
This was Ara Crimson. The one you've been trying to avoid for months. "Riley! You cheater!" She shouted at you. You glared at her. "Why hello there Ara. Its nice to see you again too." You spat at her. She looked so betrayed, you almost believed how she felt, but you knew it was a lie. It'd take more than just three years to change this poisonous bitch into an innocent saint. "I can't believe you would cheat on me Riley!" She said, her hand clutching her chest. She should be a drama student.  
"Yea no. You're not my girlfriend. And you haven't been for three fucking years Ara. I ended that when I moved."  
She looked confused. "But, babe, you never said anything! You just up and left. Disappeared off the face of the earth like your brother! You never broke up with me." You could have laughed. "Yes I did." You paused, pretending to think. "Oh wait, that's right. You'd been too drunk to understand a word I said after you practically beat me." You glared at her. Papyrus was on his feet now. You wished he wasn't here. She opened her mouth, but you cut her off. "And don't even try to pretend that you didn't cheat on me with practically half the football team."  
She looked so shocked and hurt. She really should be a drama student. Her shock and pain turned into anger. The old anger you used to be so afraid of that you couldn't even stand up for yourself and stop her as she hit you. You guessed you were lucky she didn't rape you.  
"Why you little bitch!" She said, bringing her hand back and slapping you. You didn't give her the satisfaction of seeing you stumble, didn't even let your head turn. Your cheek stung. "You're a dirty little liar Riley. You never broke up with me. You're still my girlfriend! I have been nothing but loyal, waiting for you to come back. And what do I find? You sitting under a tree kissing a filthy fucking monster." The old poisonous tongue that had once warped your mind against you, bit at you. You used to think what she said really was the truth, and that you wouldn't ever be good enough for anyone else but her.  
But going through the same three years over and over with different results, that changed you. You were different from the girl that used to follow her around like a lost puppy and believe everything she said. She wasn't your goddess anymore. She wasn't what defined you. She wasn't what controlled you. And if she thought she was any of those things, which she did from the look in her eye, and the poison in her voice while she talked, you'd-  
You punched her in the face, feeling her nose crack under your knuckles. You hadn't realized you were crying until then. "I'm not the liar here! You are Ara. You, Ara Crimson, are the lair. And I can't believe how naive and stupid I was in high school to not realize that everything you told me, every time you said you loved me after breaking me, was nothing but empty lies. You never meant any of it. I realized that after I realized that it was YOU," you glared at her, your finger jabbing into her chest. "And your friends that had jumped me on my way home that day. I was nothing but a false charity case to you. You kept beating me down with words and blows so that I would remain weak and fragile and you would look like a saint to everybody else." Papyrus' hand slipped into yours, holding you back just the slightest bit as you stepped towards her. "Well guess what bitch," you spat at the black haired girl. "You can't take back what's no longer yours, and I most certainly will not be your /TOY/ ever again." She backed away. You knew you looked scary. You wore the same deathly glare you had when you'd shot a man 13 times in the chest with a rifle. She was your enemy. And your words were your weapon.  
Her own eyes hardened in a glare. "You lie to yourself Petrovich." A sickeningly sweet smile split across her face. "You will always be mine." You went to punch her again, but she turned around, as Papyrus' hand tightened around yours and the world around you disappeared and was replaced with your living room.  
Papyrus hugged you from behind. You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. 

You'd never admit it, but you were still afraid of Ara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, Ara Crimson won the vote. She also seems a bit Yandere...? Whoops... Guess we'll see we're this goes.


	26. Can't think of creative title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your sick and tired. But mostly tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post last night. Kinda vomited four times in 90 minutes and then fell asleep.

You hung in limbo. For once you didn't have anything to dream about. You were just floating in a dark empty void. It didn't scare you. It calmed you. Nothing was here. Nothing could hurt you. It was warm and safe. It was nice.  
You're thankful for this empty dreamless sleep. You usually would be bored and waiting to wake up, but this time was different. You were sick. Literally. Not like sick of people or something. Before you'd fallen asleep, your body had rejected food and water four times in 90 minutes. You had a murderous headache, and your left eye had felt like it was trying to claw its way out of its socket. After vomiting and dry heaving for the fourth time, you'd crawled into bed and pulled all of your blankets on top of you. You fell asleep not long after and were floating in the dreamless void.  
The darkness grew just a tad bit warmer, and gained a tint of green. You hummed and smiled in contentment. If you could just stay like this until your body stopped hating you, that would be perfect. Alas, it was not meant to be, the new warmth seemed to have woken your mind up and was pulling you out of the dreamless void. You felt a warm skeletal hand on your head, combing through your hair (which you need to cut.).  
Gasp! You didn't feel like crap anymore! The skeleton chuckled, "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up." You hummed and opened your eyes. You weren't in your room, you were in Papyrus'. Said skeleton was sitting on your left. "Eh it's okay. I would've had to get up anyways." He chuckled as you sat up. "How you feel?" You shrugged. "Don't feel like vomiting for the fifth time and my brain isn't trying to explode sooo... Good?" He nodded.  
"Sorry I didn't get your messages. I was at work, otherwise I would've come over." You shrugged and laid back down, rolling over and pressing your face into his hip. His hand returned to your hair. "It's awfully quiet, is Sans not home?" He shook his head. "He's training with Alphys." You nodded into his hip. He smelled like honey, missing the smell of cigarettes. The warmth of his green magic made you whine. "Why do you keep doing that?" He shrugged, "'Cause you like it." It was making you sleepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ill post tonight, swear on my soul.


	27. You finally talk... A little bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh how fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was surprisingly easy to write....  
> Mentions of domestic violence trigger warning in like the middle of the chapter I think

/Shit. Shit. Shit.   
That was all that went through your mind as you ran. Shouting filled the air. Bullets flew past you but never met their mark. You didn't know what was going on, why your city was suddenly being bombed. You didn't know why men carrying guns were chasing you up the mountain. You were terrified.   
This wasn't right.  
This hadn't happened before. None of the other runs that you could remember had led to war.  
You didn't know what to do.  
You kept running, weaving your way through trees as you went up the mountain. The only thing keeping you going was your fear, and your will to survive. The trees broke out into a ledge with a hole in the center that you took a chance and jumped across. You didn't quite make it. Your hands digging into sharp rock and pulling yourself up. You kept running, jumping off the ledge and down the 10 foot drop.   
You landed in a roll and got up running. The military men were still behind you. You couldn't tell if they were gaining, you hoped not.  
The tree line broke again, and you almost ran right into the ocean. Instead, you skidded on the sand and then bolted to the right along the shoreline. It was a dangerous move, but it was all you could do till you could safely get back into the forest and figure out where the hell you were going. 

You'd lost the group of fighters after ducking into the forest again and climbing up a tall pine tree. Idiots don't look up, and apparently they were all idiots. They'd passed right under you, and left. You'd sat there and waited for a good hour to make sure they'd left. Then you'd dropped out of the tree and started trying to find your way back to town.  
It took you a good three hours to find a way out of the woods. You could smell the smoke of the burning city from the tree line. It burned your nostrils. People were trying to flee, but the fires wouldn't let them. They were trapped by a ring of fire around the entire city. You didn't know how to help.   
Their screams echoed in your ears as you turned away from the fiery doom. You couldn't help a whole city. Not on your own. You had to survive yourself if you wanted to help anybody in the first place. Help yourself before helping others. You knew who you would end up fighting, the ones that had chased you up the mountain. The insignia on their uniforms gave that away. You didn't know who they were, but you would find a way to put them through hell. Just like everyone else behind you as you retreated back into the woods and started running again before they started burning themselves.

"Kid, are you sure you want to join?" The officer in front of you asked. You stared him dead in the eye. "I'd rather die fighting, than like a coward behind broken defenses and people I could be fighting alongside." This was more about revenge for taking everything from you, but you were honest. You would rather die fighting, than being a coward as someone else protected you. He nodded and pointed you in the direction of the base. "They'll take you in there." The tone of his voice told you that he hoped they rejected you. You guessed it was because you were a girl as you headed towards where he'd pointed. You took out your knife and cut your hair off on the way.

The man next to you threw up on the floor of the truck as it moved along the dirt road. You were on your way to your first battle. Everyone was on edge. You were slightly excited. The gun resting in your hands felt right, like it was made for you.   
Your grip tightened as the truck came to a stop, the back opened up, and everyone hopped out and ran around. There was barely any reaction time between the first shot fired, and the rest that followed.   
It was terrifying./

 

You blinked awake. The dream ended there thankfully, you didn't want it to go on any longer. At least you weren't crying, or gasping for breath. You laid there on yo- Papyrus' bed? Papyrus' bed... You were still at his house even though you weren't sick anymore. It was comforting sleeping with him. Both of you found comfort in it. You had less nightmares and you think he has too. You haven't woken up with any bones through your squishy flesh. Papyrus wasn't there at the moment, which was okay. He was probably doing something.   
The room was a mess, but you couldn't complain because yours was too. He just had a magical trash tornado in the corner of his room. How does it work? Good question. New topic. His hoodie was on the floor.   
You were oh so very tempted to grab it and put it on, but you refrained from doing so. You didn't want to steal his clothes. If you did, he'd never get them back, and they would stop smelling like him. Plus, they looked better on him than the probably would you.

You contemplated actually getting up out of bed, but then had to turn down the option of 'no' when your stomach growled. That made you get up and leave, heading downstairs. It was roughly noon from the sun outside. Sans wasn't home, and Papyrus sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Your phone was on the coffee table in front of him. He seemed to be having a crisis. 

"Papyrus?" He looked up at you. "Is something wrong?" He didn't answer, just looked at you searchingly, questioningly. You stood there, staring back at him. He still didn't answer when you asked him again. You supposed the only way to get an answer might be to look at your phone. You came forward and picked it off the coffee table, unlocking it. First thing that came up was the call log. Last one to call was Ara, it had been answered.

You set the phone down before you could throw it. "What did she tell you?" You asked the skeleton. He looked down at the ground, you didn't like the look on his face. Anxious and worried. You hated that look. He looked back up at you. "Who is Ara Crimson?"   
You sighed and sat down next to him. This might've been easier if what she'd done was what you'd dreamt about instead of the start of the war. It might've been easier if he hadn't sounded so... sad.  
"She..." you began. "She was my girlfriend in high school. I was a dumb, naive little girl who wanted attention and would take it from anybody who'd give it to me since I didn't exist in my parents world. I was also a dweeby little nerd that got picked on for bringing books on astronomy to school instead of ones like The Mortal Instruments, which I still haven't read. Ara Marie Crimson," you don't know why you used her full name. It left a sour taste in your mouth.  
"She was the first one to give me the attention I was seeking. She also happened to be the one I'd had a crush on. She was head of yearbook and the cheer squad, had a rich family, and could do whatever she wanted." You sat back further into the couch as Papyrus watched you and listened. You didn't want to do this, but he deserved to know.  
"We hung out for a little bit, like a few months I think. She introduced me to her family and friends. We went to some place I don't remember the name of and she spent a lot of money on me. Her family loved me, and she did too. Just, not like they did...." Definitely not like they did... you weren't actually sure she even loved you in the first place.

"It was April 23rd of my sophomore year when she asked me to be her girlfriend. I accepted. You could say obviously if you wanted. She'd started giving me everything I needed a few months before. She's started... manipulating me, making me think that she was all I needed, she would give me everything. And she did... She gave me everything I could want... and everything I didn't." You watched the ceiling, imagining the crevices and static in the ceiling formed the scenes in your mind. 

(IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DO NOT READ ON)

"Beginning of my junior year, like September I think... That was the first time she beat me. She'd been drunk. Had just gotten back from a party, and I'd stayed up waiting for her. I don't remember what she said, why she hit me. All I know is that it /hurt/, mentally and physically. I mean like, why would the one that I'd loved so much, that I'd practically thought was a goddess... why would she hurt me like that?" You chuckled under your breath.   
"I never got that answer. What I got instead were more wounds, physical, mental, emotional. I was like her little doll. Her little punching bag. I was too fucking scared to do anything to stop her, to break up with her. And then she started screwing around with the football team. It hurt SO fucking much when I'd walked into her bedroom, and saw her riding the captain's dick. She swore she'd never do it again. She promised me that I was all that she wanted and that it was a mistake to have sex with him. She was a fucking liar." You hadn't realized how much this still affected you until you felt tears slipping down your face as you glared at the ceiling.   
"She was a liar and EVERYTHING she'd said to me was a lie. Every time she told me she loved me the morning after she beat me to the ground, all fucking lies. Every kiss, every touch, every word. It was all lies and I can't believe I was so naive to believe she still loved me when she walked into my hospital room." Papyrus looked at you in alarm, he was thinking something else than what you were about to say. You stopped him before he could say anything.

"I'd been jumped by a group of kids I couldn't put names too. I hadn't know any of them. They hadn't gone to my school. Well... I guess that's a lie. I knew one of them, but I didn't realize it until I was out of the hospital, and Ara gave me a black eye.   
"Ara, was on one of the ones who jumped me. She was the one that did the most damage I think... She'd come into my hospital room, gave me a get well card, a kiss on the forehead, a poisonously sweet smile, and a lie that she had somewhere else to be. Then, two days later, I was back at her house. Alone with her in her room, and once her parents had left the house, she hit me. I've never had such a big realization than that moment. I realized that she'd jumped me, her punch was the exact same as the one who'd first attacked me. I realized that I meant nothing more to her than a punching bag did to a boxer." Papyrus was still listening. You wish you could just stop there. That technically was the end... In short terms. In long terms, not so much. You kept going.   
"End of my senior year, I was living in her apartment with her. I did everything she wanted and more out of fear. She'd had sex with about 3/4 of the football team of her year, was having sex with the quarterback of my year at the time, and also had another side dick to fuck. Some dipshit named Jonathan. Me and her also had a sexual relationship, and it was after one of those, one where she was drunk and had enough mercy in her at the time to not beat me raw, that I broke up with her. She'd looked at me like I was crazy, like I couldn't possibly do that. It was probably the wrong move at the time, seeing as how we'd just had sex and she was drunk. But whatever, I made -make- bad choices all the time. She really wasn't happy about it.... I'd only had a drawer of stuff at her place, it was all my important stuff; wallet phone, car keys, a few sets of clothes, my knife, a few other things I've lost. I grabbed all that, shoved it in my backpack, and left. First I went to a Sprint store and changed my phone number, and then I left the city. No goodbyes to anybody, not even the people I would have liked to see one last time. I just left, and never looked back. 24 days later, I was in Ebbot city and starting college. I hoped I would never see her again...."

(SAFE TO READ AGAIN FOR THOSE TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

Papyrus was silent. You were afraid. Of what? Of him just leaving. You were always afraid of that. But now, it was at the forefront of your mind. You'd just told him your disgusting history with Ara. You found it disgusting, mainly because you can't believe you were that pathetic.  
He moved, and you thought he was getting up, but he wasn't. He pulled you into a hug. You could hear his soul through his ribcage. You wrapped your arms around him and gripped his tank top. Tears soaked into his shirt as you tried and failed to hold them back, to control them.   
"Do you still love her?" Papyrus asked in a whisper. You didn't know. When you'd seem her at the park, you'd still felt drawn to her like liked her. You wished you hadn't. You wished there wasn't a small part of your soul clinging onto her. You shrugged. His arms tightened around you.  
"Do you love me?" He asked, quieter, more strained than the first question. You didn't need to think about it. You tightened your grip around him and nodded into his chest. "Do you trust me?" Again, you nodded. "Then let it go. Please. Just let it out." You bit your lip. You didn't want to. You really didn't. But again, hypocritical tendencies. You needed to stop them.  
You sobbed into his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go ahead, shoot me. Kinda wanna shoot me too.


	28. Where is he

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus isn't there  
> Your apartment is trashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect it to go this way. Still, after 28 chapter, I don't know what the hell I'm doing :P

You were watching Cinnamon play with one of the mirror ball toys. He seemed kinda lonely playing by himself. Should you get him a friend?  
That thought was interrupted by the sudden realization that it was 9:30 and you were going to be late for work if you didn't get off your ass NOW. With that incentive, you got up and ran (slid) into your bedroom, stripping out of your pajamas that you'd been in all day. You pulled on a pair of galaxy leggings, midthigh length shorts, a tank top with a cat on it, and a gray jacket with the thumb holes. Why this outfit? No idea. You're in a rush. Its also spring and getting warmer. You could stand 50 degree weather in this. You're tough like that.   
Rushing out of your room, you grabbed your knife off the counter, phone and keys off the coffee table, pulled on your shoes, grabbed the DC cap Barren gave you (you'd actually stolen it fine him. He just put no effort into getting it back and said you could keep it), and your keyboard. Slinging it over your shoulder, you slipped out the door, slamming it behind you and running down the stairs. You really didn't want to wait for stop lights. So instead, you took the scenic route through alleyways and parks and parking lots. You ran the entire way. Not stopping for breath -or cars- and succeeding in remembering you need to breath.   
Turns out that letting Barren drag you to the gym was a good idea.  
You got there two minutes before 10 and you almost tripped over the threshold. Grillby looked at you from the bar as the regulars snickered and greeted you, clapping at your successful save. Papyrus wasn't there though. Odd. Maybe he'd show up later tonight. He wouldn't have forgotten that he was taking you home would he? You hoped not. You set up your piano and started your set as Fostered Misfits, the band that worked here, got off stage.

1am. Still no sign of Papyrus. No text either. Where was he?  
The band packed up and left. So did the dogs.

3am. He's not answering his phone. He's still not here. Your shift is over.  
You start walking home.  
An hour long walk since you weren't going to take shortcuts. 

Halfway home you thought about checking his place to see if he was alright.   
You didn't do it. You were too tired already. Why waste a trip to locked doors?

Your door was open when you got to your apartment. And guess what.  
The place is trashed. Cinnamon is stuck in the bathroom, soaking wet. Glass is all over the floor. Your picture frames are broken.  
Your knife is out and clutched protectively in your hand as you snuck through the place, checking to see if anyone was there. If anyone was going to attack you. It made you very uneasy that someone would do this.  
Your room.   
Your room is what scared you. It became very apparent that Ara had been there. Old pictures of the two of you were strung about the room. Your bed was flipped. Your closet and dresser emptied. Outfits that you'd worn with Ara were neatly laid out on the dresser. You didn't own them.  
The guest room was oddly untouched except for the torn up photos of you and Papyrus. They weren't ones you or him had taken. Some were from far away. Others were closer than you felt comfortable with.   
She's been watching you, you thought. Though that didn't make sense since Alex had told you she was back in Glenfall.

It occurred to you, that if this happened, something might've happened to Papyrus. Worried, you spun around on your heel and ran back down the hallway. You were about to go out the door when your phone buzzed. Knock knock. You relaxed. Papyrus just messages you. 

Papy the Dragon  
April 12th, 20XX 4:16am  
[sorry babe. Ran into someone and lost track of time.]

You frowned. He would've texted you with a joke. Blowing his absence off. This wasn't like him.

[where are you?]

You waited. 

[home]

[prove it.]

You needed proof. He was supposed to take you home today. He was supposed to stay. He wouldn't just forget something like that.

You waited 20 minutes for an answer. You didn't get one. So you left your apartment, making sure to close and lock the door. Then you ran outside and too your car, driving to Papyrus' house. 

You used the spare key hidden under a spider infested stump to get in. It was silent. You went up to his room, your knife still in your hand. The door was cracked, and you went in.  
No sign of Papyrus. The bed was cold. His hoodie was nowhere to be found. He wasn't here. He probably hasn't been here for a while. You left his room, and immediately pressed your back to the opposite wall, hiding from the view of the front door as it opened.   
A voice behind you had you spinning around. Your knife slipped between the bones in his hand and buried it in the wall as your eyes made contact with his eyelights. They were wide and slightly terrified. The terror disappeared as Papyrus frowned at you. The knife was pulls out of the wall and his hand as you gripped the front of his hoodie.   
"Where the hell were you?" You quietly hissed through your teeth. His eyelights disappeared. He wrapped an arm around your back as you put your knife away. The world around you disappeared.

It was replaced by the beach. The same spot you'd taken him for the two of you's first date. He stepped away from you and looked you up and down. He checked your stats. You sighed as he did all this, impatiently waiting for an answer.  
Knock knock vibrated in your pocket. Your eyes narrowed at him. "Where's your phone?" He looked at you. The concern in his eyes finally gone and replaced with a sliver of relief. "Your ex is fucking crazy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I lied about working on the spacing thing so that the paragraphs blend in. I don't really have a set time I can work on that. Ill do it when I have time, but I swear ill do it.


	29. Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhmmmmmmm

"Your ex is fucking crazy."

You wanted to laugh. You also wanted to walk into the ocean and never come back out. Another thing you wanted to do was hunt the bitch down and play Russian Roulette. That was your pissed off revenge wanting soldier side speaking. You'd done it before. Ended up shooting a guy in the chest 13 times with 10 different guns. That was when you were supposed to be getting answers from him about where your brother was. You pretty much played Bad Cop, and managed to get the information before he died of his wounds.   
"What'd she do?" You asked, your arms crossed in front of you, feet shoulder width apart, and shoulders back. You didn't feel like taking shit today. Not after five hours of freaking out over where this numbskull was. He rubbed his neck. "Nothing pleasant." You narrowed your eyes. "Papyrus," you said slowly. You weren't taking shit for this. Your ex is a psycho. If he's in trouble, you're going to fuck her up. "What. Did. She. Do." You were intimidating. You knew that. This wasn't a time you wanted to be, but sometimes to get the answers you need to sleep at night, you just gotta be the scary one.   
He sighed. "She found me on my way to Grillby's. Stopped me and started talking. She started talking about you and stuff." He looked at you. His eyelights were little white ovals in his sockets. They seemed kinda dull. "Stuff? And for five hours, and a missing phone. Seems like more went on than a chat." You said. You didn't really care what he did. You could blame everything on Ara, even if it was some form of accidental cheating. Cheating can't really be accidental, but knowing Ara and what she's done, you can blame it on her. Papyrus wouldn't willingly do anything with her.... Right?

Turns out, she'd kept him occupied for five hours and wouldn't let him leave. She flirted with him too, which made you a bit angry and jealous. Her "occupying" him meant that she blocked his every exit, hung off his arm, and wouldn't let him get rid of her. She flirted and joked, and talked mainly about you and him. She didn't seem very happy about anything at all. What she did with him seems kinda tame compared to what she did to your apartment.   
You told him what had happened.  
He was about as angry as you had been that he didn't have his phone because the bitch learned a new trick; pick pocketing. He didn't want you to stay at your apartment by yourself. "If Ara knew where you lived, she could hurt you." was his reasoning. Which you could agree with, but you could also defend yourself. He still wouldn't let you go back alone.   
The two of you didn't spend the night there. After gathering your essentials, he'd teleported you back to his place. It was roughly 6am and you were tired. Sans would be getting up soon.   
You curled against Papyrus as you fell asleep.  
He wouldn't really do anything with her, right? He wouldn't do that to you.

But Ara did. What if he turned out just like her?

The doubts slipped there way into your mind as you fell asleep, your grip tight on his tank top and your face pressed into his shoulder.

 

/"Riley," a voice singsonged in the darkness. "I got a present for you!"  
"I'm busy Ara, can it wait for later?" Your voice answered back.  
"Nope! You gotta open it now." She said.

The scene came into focus, but you were watching it as a third person, not as yourself. Ara had just skipped into your bedroom in a pleated skirt and a blue blouse with your jacket hanging off her shoulders. Even though you weren't in your body, you could still feel what you felt at the time.   
Love.  
Adoration.  
Relief.   
Happiness.  
You turned around in your spiny chair as she extended a little box. It was a 2inch cube covered in a soft velvet fabric with a little ribbon wrapped around it and tied into a pretty bow. "C'mon! Open it!" Ara said excitedly. You did.  
The necklace inside had a long silver chain attached to a mauve heart shaped pendant. Mauve had been your favorite color. Ara smiled at you, "Do you like it?" You nodded, your thumb running over the smooth shiny surface. She came over and kisses your hair. "Happy Birthday Rileybear," she said sweetly.

The scene disappeared and you were floating in the darkness again. You wished you'd known what would have happened when you were younger. Known how she'd turned against you. You wished you had been stronger than what you'd been, and hadn't fallen for the first person to show you emotion when everyone else thought you were a weirdo with a terrible family.

You wished you'd never met her.  
But beggars can't be choosers, and you never had a choice to begin with./

You woke up with an ache in your chest. Papyrus was still asleep, his arms wrapped around you protectively. You wished he was awake. Your face pressed deeper into his shoulder as tears welled in your eyes.  
Why were you crying? You remembered the last time you'd woken up in Ara's bed like this. She'd been awake then. She looked so happy and kind, cooing softly to you, telling you that you were fine and that everything was okay. That was the last time you'd slept in her bed before the break up. She'd looked so happy to be with you. She wasn't drunk or hungover.  
Maybe Papyrus shouldn't be awake. Maybe you could just cry out the pain with him just existing right there.

You wished you were in the war. Then, you could at least feel like she wasn't breathing down your neck waiting for the opportunity to strike. Then you wouldn't have even met Papyrus. You wouldn't have to worry about him getting hurt by Ara.  
One hand moved up and started combing through your hair as the other tightened around you. He was awake. "Hey, what's wrong?" You shook your head. "Riley, please." You couldn't. You didn't know how. What were you supposed to say? What was even going through your head?   
He wouldn't do that to you. Not on purpose.  
You asked him if he'd ever hurt you.  
He swore he wouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi!!! Readers!!! I need help!!  
> Next 3-4 chapters, I need like, fluff. Stuff to make everything not so tense (and then I'll ruin you, but whatever that's not important right now). If you have ideas of things you would like to see, please comment!!


	30. Enter kitty 2 from stage there's a cat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get another cat.

Three weeks.  
It's been three weeks since Ara trashed your place and terrorized Papyrus. Alex said she was officially back in Glenfall. Probably the best news of your life. Papyrus was finally letting you stay at your own house. Though he was still there most the time. Like now. He was watching you play with Cinnamon with a laser pointer.  
Cinnamon seemed lonely whenever you came home. He'd just be laying on the armrest of the couch. Doing nothing. It also seemed kinda sad for him to just be playing by himself. Watching him try and climb the wall for the red dot was sad too.  
You moved the dot as Papyrus sat down. He had a bottle of honey and was watching the cat with an amused expression. You handed him the laser pointer and got up. Food was a great idea. So was another cat. You went into the kitchen and started making yourself a pbj.   
"We should do something." You said, biting a piece off.  
"Like what?"  
"I don't know. I'm bored. Maybe.... Cinnamon needs a friend."  
"Get another cat?  
You nodded, chewing peanut butter. You had the crunchy kind. "Okay then. When you wanna leave?"  
"Now?"  
He got up as you tossed the crust in the trashcan.

 

The shelter had a room. The room was full of cats. It was a cat room. There were roughly 20 cats. None of them really caught your eye. So you sat down in the corner and waited.  
It was a good 10 minutes before a kitten came over and sniffed your foot. It was brown and extremely fluffy. Himalayan you guessed. It pawed at your foot before climbing onto your leg. Its foot slipped into the gap between and it fell forward. You chuckled. The kitty looked up at you before getting up and walking closer to your upper body. It meowed at you as it stood on your stomach. You settled for watching it.  
Kitty nuzzled your chest and you died inside at the cuteness as it meowed at you.   
Its fur was soft under your hand. It was a she. She was fluffy and soft and loved you.   
You got up, cradling the cat to your chest and left the cat room. "I'm taking her." You said as you walked up to the front desk of the shelter. The receptionist person nodded.

 

You went to the pet store and bought another bed, collar, and tag for the new cat. You'd decided to name her Rem. Why? No idea. Its just what you'd typed into the machine.  
You hadnt set Rem down the entire time. You were driving with a damn cat in your lap. Distraction. Where'd Papyrus go? You might've told him to go buy something or other because you were hungry (fucking periods dammit.). You shouldn't be driving with a cat in your lap but she kept putting herself there no matter how many times you moved her to the other seat.  
Grabbing the stuff out of the back and holding the cat against your chest, you managed to get inside your apartment building, up the stairs, and into your apartment without an incident. Cinnamon was laying on the back of the couch and looked up at you as you walked in. Papyrus was in the kitchen. "You find the new cat-astrophe?" You snorted. "Yes I found the new kitten." Cinnamon had sat up and was staring at the kitten in your arms.  
He came out of the kitchen as you set the cat down, and gave you a piece of orange chicken. Walmart orange chicken. You smiled. "Thanks babe." You went and sat Rem's bed next to Cinnamon's. Cinnamon jumped off the couch and was now inspecting Rem. Rem was sitting patiently, and then he wasn't. He flipped around when Cinnamon was behind him, and then just started running around the house. Like just, I'm calm.... AND NOW IM RUNNING AHHHHHHHHHHHH. You laughed as Rem ran under the couch and out the other side and then came back to Cinnamon and barreled into him. Kitty tag. That's pretty much what it was. Kitties playing tag and your dying on the floor as Papyrus makes puns about cats and race cars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY I DIDNT POST LAST NIGHT IM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP ON YOU GUYS AND MY GIRLFRIEND I SWEAR ON MY GODS DAMNED SOUL I WILL POST ANOTHER CHAPTER TONIGHT EVEN IF IT MEANS I HAVE TO LOSE THREE MARIO COIN BATTLES TO MY MOTHER
> 
> AND THANK YOU LOVELY PEOPLE FOR THE IDEAS FOR THE MEXT FEW CHAPTERS 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry bout the screaming. Just needed to do that :P


	31. Boredom equals a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which boredom leads to clubs

Four weeks.  
Four weeks and nothing happened. Four weeks of peace and quiet with no psychotic ex girlfriend. Rem was adjusting nicely to his new home and was very happy and content to just stay. Like stay in place. No moving. Just sitting, or laying, or something that isn't in motion. Like were he was right now, in your lap, just curled up in your lap and purring while you sat there and ate an entire damn tub of mint chocolate ice cream and hope Papyrus doesn't wake up.  
Zero days.  
Zero days since a nightmare. Zero days since you'd woken up choking on air and trying to remember that you weren't there. Zero days of peaceful sleep. 

Cinnamon laid behind your head on the back of the couch, his paws kneading into your shoulders. It was 1:30 am, and you were awake eating a tub of ice cream and trying to get yourself to stop crying. At least you were silent, and the cats hadn't started meowing when you came out of your bedroom.  
You were alone. You didn't really want to be alone, but Papyrus was sleeping. He'd shown up while you were sleeping (a common occurrence nowadays). You hadn't wanted to wake him up because he was sleeping and if he showed up while you were sleeping then he needed the sleep because he'd had a nightmare of his own. Yeah, he'd told you to wake him up if you had one, but he needed the sleep.  
The light flicked on and off, and you blinked at the sudden light. There was a sigh and the couch sunk in next to you. Papyrus took the ice cream container and set it on the coffee table as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "Haven't I told you to wake me up for this?" He said quietly. You could feel him looking at you as you stared out the window. You shrugged.  
Great. You were reverting back to your childish habits of avoiding something by not speaking. Ara used to get so angry with you when you'd just shut down during an argument. She'd usually end up hitting you afterwards. You'd go curl up in the closet and cry when she was done and had left to go get drunk somewhere and fuck some football player. "Riley, look at me." He turned your head away from the window, his thumb wiping the tears slipping through your lashes away. "We've talked about this. You promised you'd wake me up when you had a nightmare." Cinnamon meowed. "See? Even Cinnamon agrees." He said with a smile, though it left his skull when you looked down at your lap. He sighed. "Alright. Gimme a minute." He got up, and your head shot up as your hand reached out for him. He caught your hand with a small smile. "Hey, it'll just be a minute. I'm not leaving the apartment." He grabbed the ice cream container and went around the couch.

You heard the fridge open, and then his skeletal feet went down the hallway and faded out. You slumped into the couch and waited. Cinnamon had moved to just kneading one shoulder. Rem was still in your lap.  
He came back with your larger brown fluffy blanket. Rem was removed from your lap, and you were wrapped in the blanket before he picked you up bridal style and carried you back to your room. One hand was holding onto him through the blanket as he laid you down on the bed. Rem came in and hopped onto the bed and sat by your feet. Papyrus laid down behind you after lighting a candle. It smelled like apples and cinnamon. 

His arms wrapped around you, and you turned around so you were facing him. "You're under a-rest. Now go back to sleep." He said quietly. You smiled a little bit. You didn't really want to sleep but it was warm and comfortable. He was warm. Rem curled against your back as Cinnamon walked in and curled against Papyrus' back. Rem started purring, your eyes drifted shut, Papyrus hugged you closer, protectively.

 

You woke up to your hair being pet. First thing you noticed was that you were on Papyrus' chest, and he was on his back. You were also drooling. His hand combed through your hair. You felt like a cat. If you could make a realistic purring noise, you would, but you can't so you won't. Papyrus carefully pulled out a tangle, you grunted a little. "Sorry, didn't know you were awake." He chuckled. You rolled off his chest with a snort. "Sure ya didn't." You sat up, running your own hand through your hair. It felt too long. You got up and popped your back. Papyrus made a grossed out face, "Where you going?" He asked, sitting up himself. You looked back at him, also catching a glimpse of the clock. 12:34. "Gonna cut my hair." You turned around and made your way to the bathroom after grabbing a pair of scissors from the kitchen.  
You dunked your head under the shower spray, getting your hair wet. Papyrus was in the door as you shook the excess water off. "I don't think you should cut it." He said, looking at you with a thoughtful expression. You frowned and cocked your head at him as you walked over to the sink. "Why?"  
"'Cause I've never seen you with long hair." You shrugged at him, picking up your scissors and turning to the mirror. "I got a photo album if you really wanna see. You can look through it if you want." He pretended to think, you raised the scissors to your hair. "Mmmno. I wanna see what you'd look like in person and not from a photo album that doesn't have you in it." You turned and looked at him. "Doesn't have me in it? Pap, those pictures in there are of me."  
"Yea but they're not /you/. Like, not the one I know. Not the you I know." That seemed really sentimental coming from the lazy ass skeleton. You looked back in the mirror and tried to imagine yourself with longer hair. You couldn't. Sighing, you set the scissors down. "Fine. But just this once. If I don't like it, I'm gonna cut it." He nodded, satisfied. "Cool. Now lets go get lunch."  
"Why don't we have lunch come to us? It'd be much easier."  
"What'd ya have in mind?"  
"Chinese."

You answered the door and have the Chinese delivery dude the money before flopping onto the couch and setting the bag on the table. Papyrus unpacked it and the two of you ate. The tv was on, the history channel like it usually was. Something about Arabians and their gods or whatever. You didn't really know, you weren't paying attention, but "Arabians" and "gods" were in the same sentence quiet a bit.  
"You have work tonight?" Papyrus asked as he took a bite of a wonton. You shook your head. "Cool. Wanna go somewhere tonight?" You shrugged. "What'd ya have in mind?" He shrugged. Jesus what's with all the shrugging? "Don't know yet. I'm thinkin bout it." You nodded.

 

It took Papyrus until 7:30 pm to figure out what he wanted to do, though he wouldn't tell you. What he did tell you, was to go put on some nice clothes. So that's what you were doing. Standing in front of your mirror trying to figure out what would be considered "nice."  
You'd asked Bunby. She was the one that pretty much bought your entire wardrobe (except for bras and underwear thank god). She told you too look for a black tank top, a super thin over shirt with roses on it, a pair of matching black tights, and a skirt that went about midthigh. All in all, you were pretty black. Why this entire outfit was dark? You had no idea. At least you could wear your tennis shoes and she wouldn't shame you. She said that it brought out your "delicate rusty qualities." Whatever that meant. Papyrus liked the outfit, and then stuck your old beanie on your head. You have no idea how he'd found the thing. He called you cute and you wanted to just curl up on the floor. Why? No idea.

Papyrus teleported to a street that was on the other side of the city from your apartment. You realized Papyrus had also changed. When had he done that? Probably when you were staring at your closet wondering why you'd let someone buy your wardrobe for you. He was wearing his usual (but nicer) khakis and a jade green button up.  
The two of you walked down the road to a club. It wasn't particularly busy, it being a Thursday night. But as the night grew later, more and more people came in. At around 10 pm, there were four times the amount of people than there had been when you'd gotten here. You and Papyrus were just chillin eating and drinkin. You felt pleasantly buzzed and energized. You were also rather giggly and happy, which seemed to throw Papyrus for a loop.  
The dance floor was active and the DJ was doin his thing. There were people dancing, and it was slowly getting more crowded as the robot on stage DJed.  
You normally wouldn't do this, but you felt adventurous. So you stepped onto the floor and stated dancing. You danced with, and around the other people on the dance floor, a particular young man kept dancing with you. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a cut above his eyebrow. He seemed familiar but you couldn't figure out why.  
There was a strange spark in his eye as you crossed paths on the floor again. You didn't like it. So you left the dance floor and went back up to the table you and Papyrus were at. Papyrus was at the bar getting drinks when the dude from the dance floor came and sat across from you. He grinned at you. "He sweetheart. You look a bit lonely over here by yourself."  
You could tell he was flirting with you. It pissed you off, and kinda scared you. Why'd it scare you? Because you didn't know how this thing worked. Your expression fell neutral, as did your voice. "I'm perfectly fine, and I'm actually not alone."  
"Yea that's right, your with that skeleton dude. I was thinkin... You and me could get outta here. He doesn't really seem like your type." He said, still grinning.  
You already didnt like this guy. "And you think you are my type?" He nodded excitedly. Papyrus was still at the bar, waiting for the drinks, but he was watching you. "Well news flash buddy. That skeleton dude is my boyfriend and I'd really appreciate it if you fucked off."  
The dudes expression fell just a tiny bit. "Awe, babe, don't be like that. I can show you a good time!" Drunk. This asshole was drunk and not taking any hints to fuck off. Feeling done with him, you stood up and walked away, heading towards the bar. Dipshit got up and tried to chase you, but that's what you'd get on. You turned around and kneed him in the crotch. He buckled over, clutching his crotch. You grinned as you walked back over to Papyrus. He was smiling too.

You were even more buzzed than when the idiot had tried picking you up. You and Papyrus were on the dance floor. The two of you moving with the music as it played. The song you'd been moving to faded out, and the lights changed from blues and greens, to reds and purples. The song came on. 

"Nobody ever knows  
Nobody ever sees  
I left my soul  
Back then, no I'm too weak."

Papyrus pulled you against his chest as the two of you danced to the sad song. You wanted to cry, but you didn't know why. Seems like you don't know a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a total ass because I had this done at 2am and I didn't post it. IM SORRY.


	32. Cakes and kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... The title is like 2/3 of it???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost deleted this chapter when I finished it. Almost gave myself a damn heart attack.  
> Enjoy the fluffiness.

Rem was sitting on your lap as you read. Her head nuzzling your hand as she kneaded your leg. You had to get up to go to work soon, but that could wait just a little bit longer. Cinnamon slipped around your shoulders and meowed in your ear. "Hehe, yea, she's pretty stupid ain't she?" You had no idea what you were reading, you'd just grabbed a random book off of a bookshelf at the library. It was a good book, somewhere in the adventure zone. The main character, a female named Fina Gildolphin, was pretty dumb. Why? She walked into a very obvious trap.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you pulled it out, answering it without looking. "Who's this?"  
"Petrovich."  
You wanted to hang up, but something inside you stopped you. The sickeningly sweet voice on the other end of the line annoyed you. "What do you want Crimson?"  
"Aww I can't say hello to my favorite person?"  
"Nope." You hung up and closed your book. Somehow, your mood wasn't spoiled. You still felt calm and relatively okay besides the bruised rib from some dude at the bar that had though you were a guy. You don't understand how he thought you were a guy when you were growing your hair out. It was long enough that you could pull it into a very short ponytail. Papyrus still insisted you grew it out more because the current length still constituted as 'short.'

Rem jumped out of your lap and Cinnamon climbed onto the back of the couch as you got up and stretched. Your back made a series of pop noises as you clasped your hands above you. The air was cold against your belly below your shirt. Your phone rang again and you declined the call from your ex. She'd been calling a lot more this week, but from what Alex said, she wasn't coming to town yet. For that, you were grateful.  
Going about your 'getting ready for work' routine, you ate an apple. Said apple would suffice as your dinner until you went on break and Grillby could make something for you. You like the fries in particular. But in all honesty, you just liked fries (and chicken nuggets but he doesn't make chicken nuggets).

The bar was crowded, like it usually was on a Saturday. Fostered Misfits (the band that started playing here a few months ago) was on stage. You seriously thought that the place should be renovated to have an actual dance floor, but you were too lazy to actually tell anyone. You could feel the music in your chest and it felt like your heart was beating along to the music and not at a steady humanly pace.  
You went into the back room and claimed your corner of the couch. They still had 30 minutes to go till your shift actually started, so you could kill some time by looking through the list of songs you'd play tonight. Grillby, Papyrus, and a few of the other regulars had convinced you into adding some lyrical songs to your list after a drunken karaoke night. You were honestly a bit embarrassed you'd let that happen, you didn't normally sing in front of people. The best you'd done in a while before that was singing Heather and Marilyn to sleep, and singing along to songs on the radio when nobody was around. 

Some songs on tonight list included "Goodbye To A World" which was a usual. "Shy Boy" which was a new one you'd found a little over a month ago. A few that had started your gig here, "Hate" and "Echoes." A few other piano/techno songs you didn't really care for all that much. There were also some (meaning like half the damn list) were lyrical, and you kinda wanted to die. "Safe and Sound," "Borderline," "Ballons," "Better Than I Know Myself," and "I'm Still Here" were your favorites off of the lyrical list. Besides "Devil on Your Shoulder" and "Little Girl" but those weren't on the list as of yet. You knew more people would request songs. You'd lowered the prices to about $5 a song because of the band, and people had been requesting more. You'd also added more songs to the list (if the lyrical a weren't obvious). So you usually played for a good 90-110 minutes every couple of hours.  
The band came into the back room. You snickered at how exhausted they looked. "Have you losers ever heard of energy drinks?" You said, getting up and straightening your shirt. The lead singer glared at you. He was the one that bruised your ribs the other day. "Have you ever heard of shutting your mouth?" He snarled. "Nope," a cheeky smile made its way onto your face. "And it seems your still a dick no matter what happens. Honestly can't understand how these guys put up with you." The room was silent as you walked out. Damage may have been done to the band, but he was honestly a dick and you really didnt understand how they out up with him. He'd only questioned your masculinity after trying to elbow you in the boob, and you slamming his head into the table. That had most the bar laughing because they found it funny he thought you were a guy. You thought it was funny because of the look on his face when he realized he got his ass handed to him by a girl that's a foot shorter than him.  
You sat down behind your piano after hooking it up, and you played your first set, the keys smooth beneath your fingertips.  
You could feel someone in the back of the bar watching you, but you didn't know who.

 

1 am. You were finished. 1:01. Your fingers feel a bit numb. 1:02. Papyrus kisses the top of your head before teleporting the two of you to your place. 1:04. Your hungry as fuck. You wanted... CAKE.  
Keyboard went in your room and you went into the kitchen and started getting the stuff you needed for cake. Particularly, a chocolate cake. You had everything except... Flour. Which made sense because you made other baked stuff a lot. Papyrus went and got the flour as you softened the butter and measured everything else out.  
He also came back with a pack of fudge stripe cookies. Which was odd, but not abnormal. He liked cookies. And so did you. He stuck one in your mouth as you mixed the dry ingredients together. 

"Are you gonna help or just stand back and watch?" You asked him as you tried to reach the chocolate on the top shelf of a cabinet. You don't know how its survived this long without you eating it, but it has. Orange outlined the pack of chocolate and it floated off the counter. "Hmm... I think I'll do the bare minimum." He said as the package was placed on the counter. You huffed. "Y'know what. Just for that, your going to help. Or else I'm breaking this egg on your hoodie." The egg in your hand was brown. You knew Papyrus liked his hoodie, and so did you, but you were going to make him help for cheating and using his magic. You were also very serious about breaking the egg on him, you've done crazier, but this was what was most convenient. He raised his hands in defeat as you tossed the egg up and caught it. "Alright alright, tell me what to do oh mighty chef." His hoodie was removed and placed in his spot behind the counter.  
Flour was mixed with the other dry ingredients as you pulled out the three cake pans. You sprayed Pam on them, and then felt Papyrus slap your ass. A small yell escaped you as you spun around. "Papyrus!" He had his trademark grin and was chuckling a little bit. "What's up babe?"  
"What was that for?"  
"Oh, nothing cupcake." He dusted flour off of his hands. Your eyes widened as you looked behind you at the white flour hand print that was on your black skinny jeans. "Oh you son of a dick." You said, turning back to look at him. He was still grinning. You took the towel that was hanging off the stove and spun it around its corners. He added the eggs and butter to the flour mixture. You snapped the towel at his kneecap. "Hey!" He said, surprised as he jumped back a little bit. You grinned. "Don't start something you don't intend to finish Boneboy."  
Flour was thrown in your face and you screeched just a tiny bit. You could hear Papyrus chuckle as he exited the kitchen. You set the mixer to medium and followed him out with a wet handful of flour. Why wet? Because it was gross. Papyrus sat on the couch, turning on the tv and eating a cookie as you quietly came up behind him. The wet flour felt weird in your hands. Said wet flour was smeared on his vertebrae. He jerked and reached up to try and wipe it off. "Ew what the hell was that!?" He turned towards, trying to wipe the stuff off as you backed away.  
You weren't able to get very far as his hand snapped out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back to him. You tripped over Cinnamon and fell to the floor, bringing Papyrus down with you. The rug was soft under your back, only slightly likely to give you carpet burn. Papyrus sat up above you, straddling your legs and keeping you pinned below him.  
What a compromising position....  
A Cheshire Cat grin slid across his face as his hands moved from where they'd caught him so he didn't fall completely on top of you. They moved from beside your head down to your sides, and you let out a shriek as he tickled you. "Pap! No! No! Please!" You pleaded and laughed as he tickled you mercilessly. Any attempts to fend him off were useless. As were your pleads for mercy.  
The oven beeped in the kitchen and you pleaded for him to stop through your laughter.  
He did... After a few more minutes. Your stomach hurt from laughing. Papyrus was still straddling your legs. Both of you had matching smiles. Calm, happy smiles. You got up on your elbows and were about to sit up when he leaned forward.  
His teeth pressed against your lips and you gasped a bit in surprise. Your eyes closed as you pressed against him and you wrapped an arm around his neck. His wrapped around you and pulled you up. He tasted like cigarettes and honey. The taste had an acidic tang to it, almost like citrus. You could have stayed like this forever as his tongue slid against yours.  
You had to pull away for air, feeling disappointed in yourself for having to break the kiss. Papyrus grinned as you looked up at him. 

 

The cake was done around 3 am and you sat on the couch with Papyrus. Cinnamon and Rem were eating wet food by their other food as you and him at the cake. His chest was warm against you back.  
Robin Hold was on, but you weren't really paying attention. You were more interested in the way the light reflected off of Papyrus' face. His eyelights were supposed to be white, but reflected the same blue light as the rest of his skull. 

That was probably the first time the two of you had done more than a simple peck or something similar. It made you feel bubbly inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FRIENDS.
> 
> Who's ready for tomorrow's chapter?? Hehehe Imma destroy everything like Godzilla did.  
> And on the subject of tomorrow's chapter, is anyone interested in a POV change for Mondays?? It'll go along with tomorrow's, just from Papyrus' POV.


	33. If I put a title I'd spoil the chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I put a summary I'd spoil the chapter but I'm gonna do it anyways.
> 
> Two deaths in one chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for how much fun I had writing this. You can kill me later.

Today was a good day. You felt that absolutely nothing could ruin it. You had leftover cake for breakfast. Cinnamon and Rem shared a bed and made for excellent cute pictures. Ara hadn't called you a single time. Papyrus had the day off. You didn't have a class until 9:30 pm. Absolutely nothing could ruin your mood today.

You sat down across from Undyne on the black side of the chess board. It was a spontaneous game day at the skeleton household. Asgore made pie (which you may be currently hogging). Asgore made more than one pie (you only had one). Chara played Mariokart with Sans. Papyrus was outside smoking. Alphys was... making tacos.... You felt scared for those, you weren't sure if you wanted to eat them. The kitchen was a disaster, and was somehow by some great miracle, still in one relative piece. Alphys had insisted in doing it alone, so that's why Sans was playing Mariokart (and losing). You and Undyne began the game of chess, she went first and you ate pie.  
You were currently hogging another pie as Alphys and Papyrus raced. A tournament had been started. You'd advanced into the semifinals against Asgore. You'd rave the winner of this race, you couldn't tell who, they were so close. A tray of tacos was on the coffee table, there were only like two left. They'd actually been pretty good despite your doubts, and the kitchen wasn't burnt down.

You were sitting at home with the rest of your cake in your lap. Star Wars was playing on the tv. Chocolate crumbles outlined your mouth as you typed away on your computer. The subject of your paper was something you didn't remember. It was for your music theory class that Barren had somehow talked you into taking, saying it'd be fun. You were working on the conclusion and your fingers hurt. They felt like you'd played another four and a half hours of music. Which you hadn't obviously, it just felt like that.  
You were still in a very good mood. It made you a bit suspicious, you never stayed in a good mood the entire day. Something was bound to happen to crush your spirits. Something, you think you'd enjoy drowning out with alcohol.

You ate some cake, more crumbs getting onto your face and falling onto the plate and your shirt. You've eaten nothing but cake, pie, and tacos today. Probably not the best idea, but you'd live. Your next bad idea came with Oreos and milk. Usually you'd save this for when Papyrus was here, but your sweet tooth was hungry.  
You made a mental note to buy more Oreos as you shoved a piece of cake, and a milk soaked Oreo in your mouth. You also made a mental note to text Barren about going to the gym sometime and doing some boxing. He was an assistant but was as good as one for self defense coaches. You didn't need a coach, you just liked someone being around that you could punch.  
You looked up at the tv in time for Darth Vader's classic "I am your father" moment. Luke screamed in denial and fell into the gaping hole beneath him. Your snicker was lost to another mouthful of cake. 

You were getting ready to leave for class. You were still somehow in a very happy mood. On some subconscious level, it unnerved you, how happy you were today. Your subconscious mind was preparing for something terrible to go wrong.  
Everything was fine on your way to the university. Everything was fine during class, though the teacher did trip and fall into the chalkboard and bring down everything that was precariously balanced on top of it. That's why you hang things up kids, otherwise your college lit teacher will get buried alive underneath them and the class will have to help him out after laughing their asses off. He dismissed the class early out of humiliation and sadness that he has to replace the glass in some of them, and find someway to hang them up without there being a way for them to fall down again.  
You went to Walmart and bought nails and a hammer before returning to the university and setting them in his box. Then, home you went. Papyrus said he was finishing up with work. You still don't know what he does after what, like four months of dating? It'd become official in late March, and it was now August. You smiled, thinking about how you'd met the damn skeleton.  
That dog that had run you over was currently missing in action, and his owner was looking everywhere for him. You had the sneaking suspicion the dog was at the pound. He'd search there when he realized it was a possibility. As of right now, you didn't care. You pulled into your apartment complex's parking lot, and then went inside.  
Cinnamon and Rem greeted you at the door, meowing for you to refill their food bowl. You did that, and refreshed their water after shedding you jacket and shoes. The sound of their eating filled the silence as you left the room to take a shower.

You toweled your hair off as you answered your phone. "Petrovich. Who's this?"  
"Is this Riley J. Petrovich?"  
You stopped, straightening from your bent over position from squeeze the water out of your hair. The towel landed on the floor of the hallway as you walked into the living room. You stood by the dinner table. "Yes. Who's asking?"  
"Hi, I'm Mia from Glenfall City Hospital. I'm calling about Alex F. Petrovich."  
"What about my brother?" A sense of dread filled your stomach as Papyrus popped into existence by the couch. You raised a finger, silently telling him to wait. He nodded and leaned against the back of the couch.  
"Ma'am... I'm sorry, but your brother is dead."  
You could've sworn that time stopped. The words echoed silently in your ears. The phone slipped from your hand, the lady on the other side calling out for you. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes as the happiness that had followed you around all fucking day, get torn away in a single sentence.  
Alex was dead.  
Again.  
Every single time you'd seen him die in the runs before this one, every single time you'd watched his body get lowered into a grave, surged to the forefront of your mind. Last run, during the war, he'd stepped on a damn land mine. There was hardly a funeral. His body was lost amongst the fire and other dead bodies. You could remember the battle, but you tried to suppress it. All of it. But the images of his dead body, with bullets, burns, stabs, a noose, every way he died, was sitting in front of your eyes.

You didn't hear Papyrus as you fell to your knees and curled in on yourself. Your hair was too long, it tangled with your fingers as your forehead touched the ground.  
How could you have been so stupid to believe this run would be any different? How could you have been so naive to believe Alex wouldn't die? How could you have not seen this coming?  
Tears fell from your eyes and onto the floor.  
You wanted to scream.  
So you did.  
You screamed and sobbed as Papyrus pulled you against his chest.

~~~~~~a lot of time passes and it would have looked weird without a proper space thingy~~~~~~~~

You stood alone in the graveyard. In front of you was Alex's freshly filled grave. You hated his tombstone. It just had his name, birth and death dates, 'loving brother, son, and father.' There was nothing about it that could have lessened the pain. You wished there was. You wished you could have said something, done something, seen him more. You always felt like this, and you never learned.  
You wondered how long it'd be till you died. How would you die? Would your mother come to your funeral? Would 'loving daughter' be inscribed on your tombstone? Would Papyrus miss you? 

You could feel someone watching you, but you didn't know who.  
You placed a juniper and a fern leaf on his grave. "See ya on the flip side bro." You kinda held out your fist for a fist bump, and imagined that some form of him bumped back. You pulled your jacket tighter around you and your black dress, and turned around, starting to walk back to his home. His wife was as devastated as you were. Heather and Marilyn didn't understand that he was dead and never coming back. You pitied them, having to lose their father at such a young age.  
You could hear footsteps behind you as you walked. It began to rain. The already night sky, turning black with clouds dropping their load down on earth. You didn't have an umbrella.  
Pat.  
Pat.  
Pat.  
Footsteps and raindrops. Almost perfect harmony.  
You wished you had your knife. It was in your bag back at the house. You don't know why you didn't bring it. Dumb move. The footsteps behind you stopped, and you stopped as well. Click of a gun being loaded. You turned around.

The gunman was the same as last run. He was also the dude that had tried dancing with you at the club Papyrus had taken you too. He had a murderous glint in his eyes.  
You stepped out of your flats. He raises his gun. You dropped your jacket. He pulled the trigger. You sidestepped. He shot at you again. You ducked and rushed at him.  
Your fist connected with his jaw and your ankle locked with his, knocking him down.  
The two of you rolled around and wrestled on the ground.  
You didn't want to die. Not today. 

You forgot to think that he had another gun.  
Click. Hiss. Bang.  
Pain filled the side of your head.  
The last thing you registered before your vision turned black, was being shoved to the side and-

A bullet lodged itself in your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PEOPLES  
> I SWEAR THE STORY DOESNT JUST END HERE  
> I WOULDN'T DO THAT TOO YOU
> 
> Tomorrow is a POV change.
> 
> If you feel the need to kill me, have fun hunting me down.
> 
> Also might've broken my girlfriend while writing this because I was just like "Alex is now officially dead" "character death number two is now beginning" sooooo.. LadyAllo, my love, I'm not sorry.


	34. You'd still be alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT NOBODY IS CONFUSED
> 
> THIS IS FROM PAPYRUS' POV NOT YOURS

I should've been there. You shouldn't have gone alone. I could've been there. You could've lived. Why didn't I follow my gut and come even though you didn't want me too? Why did I listen to you? I shouldn't have listened. You wouldn't have been alone. You wouldn't have died. You wouldn't be six feet under.

November 18th 20XX.  
It's been roughly two months since you died, and I'm still grieving. It's still tough to believe your gone even though I saw your body in the casket. I still sometimes think your going to come back.   
I personally don't think you should've been buried where you were. You were in between your father's and your brother's graves. You shouldn't have been buried there, not so close to someone who apparently didn't notice your existence. Was it him? Or just your mother? You never told me. You never told me a lot of things.   
I wish you had. 

Sans knocked on my door before peeking in, Rem and Cinnamon slipping into my room as well. "Brother?" He said quietly. "Are you okay? You've been in here longer than usual..." He sounded worried, and he was right to be so I guess.  
I sat up in my bed. "Yea bro, I'm fine. Just bone tired is all." I said with my usual grin. He huffed, but smiled. "Okay. Dinner is almost ready, I'll come get you when it is." I nodded as he left, leaving the door cracked for the cats.   
Rem hopped onto the bed and curled up next to where my head had been. Cinnamon curled up on the small pile of your clothes in the corner. Your mess had become mine, and mine, yours. Your clothes were on my floor, mine had been in your laundry basket. They still smelled like you, just a tiny bit, but that was slowly being replaced by the smell of cats. I didn't know the softener you used, or what the name of the spray you used that made you smell like you. 

That was something that couldn't have been replaced the moment I felt it. Your soul. It shattered. And from 1100 miles away, I felt it. I couldn't believe it for a few hours. I just kept texting and calling you, then the hospital answered your phone. I had to ID your body.... They don't know who killed you. 

Is it odd that I sleep with your blanket? Your big fluffy one. It smells the most like you, the smell has lingered longer than on the other stuff. Your knife is under my pillow. I don't know why I put it there. It's just where it is. Most of your pictures have been put into a photo album, and I found the one you told me about. The one with you when you had longer hair. I liked you better with your short and bizarrely colored hair. You'd died with blue hair, right? I don't remember... the coroners investigating your death had washed all the dye out of your hair. You had strawberry blonde, similar to your mom's but darker.   
See you in the casket, even as a memory, was a painful reminder. You were dead, and you weren't coming back. I don't know what to do now. I used to spend so much time with you, just sitting and watching tv or something. But none of that is appealing anymore, it all hurts.   
I need to smoke.  
I got up and grabbed my hoodie off the floor. The cigarettes and lighter were in the front pocket, and I pulled the garnet on, heading out the door. "'Ey bro. I'm gonna go for a walk." I didn't hear his response as I closed the door behind me. I walked off the porch, down the path, to the sidewalk, and took a left. The cigarette held between my teeth was lit, smoke curled into the air.  
The smoke... It was something that had always seem to mesmerize you. The look on your face when you watched it just seemed so calm, like it put you at ease. Wait... I sighed and smiled a bit. I feel so dumb, just now realizing why I was Papy the Dragon in your phone. It was the smoke.  
I looked up at the stars and smiled. They twinkled back, and I thought about our first date. You'd taken me to the beach, and we'd watched a meteor shower. The smile slipped off my face as I sat down on a bench at the park. Why hadn't I been there for you...? You could've lived. I sat back, staring at the sky as I smoked.

"Papy?" The kid said.   
"Yea kiddo?"  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yea I'm fine. What about you?"  
"Papy."  
"What?"  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothin' Chara."  
They sighed as they sat next to me. Their red eyes turned to the starry sky. They were 16 now. And had promised to never reset.  
Reset....  
What if that could bring you back? I could wait to see you, so long as I knew that you were /alive/. It may be an impatient wait, but I could do it.   
But could you? You told me that you didn't have the best child hood. Resetting would put you back in your relationship with Ara, and you'd probably still be around your parents. Could you live with that? Could you live through that again? Even if you don't even remember the resets, could you get through those few years again?

"Chara?"  
"Yea Papy?"  
"Can you reset?"  
They stared at me like I'd grown another skull.   
"Papy..." They said, cocking their head. "I promised I wouldn't reset ever again...."  
I sighed. "I know... I was just askin'."  
"Why? So you could see Riley again?"   
I closed my eyes and nodded. It was worth a shot, but if the kid won't do it, no point in forcing them. They were to determined to break a promise.  
"I'm sorry Papy...." They wrapped their arms around me, I wrapped one around them.   
"Its alright kiddo." I said as I went to pat their head. My hand went through air, and my eyes opened. What? I could've sworn they were here-?  
I was floating in darkness.  
And then I wasn't.

 

I woke up with a jerk and a thump, faint off of my bed on the surface. What? Hadn't I just been at the park? How? I hadn't taken a shortcut.   
The clock read 12:36 am.  
My phone said it was now...  
September 23rd 20XX.  
Three weeks before you died.  
I could feel your soul again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See?? I love you guys. I wouldn't do anything terrible to you...   
> At least nothing permanent.... 


	35. You're alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're alive  
> Papyrus is there
> 
> Wait... How?  
> Later  
> Love  
> Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's some fluff

You gasped awake, sitting up in bed. Your hands flew to where the phantom pains throbbed: your head and chest. You didn't know where you were. You didn't know when you were. Tears streamed down your face, from the fact that you died, and that time had looped again. You were probably in your bed at your parents house.   
You squeezed your eyes shut and covered your mouth, muffling your sobs. You couldn't stop crying. The tears wouldn't stop. There was scratching at your door. You didn't get up to go see what it was. It was probably just your German Shepard, Geyln, she most likely wanted to come snuggle. You didn't want her to.

Light spilled into the room and you winced, turning away from it. There was meowing. Blankets dipped around your feet. Wet noses nuzzling your hands.  
Then there were hands, and arms, and a head. The arms wrapped around you, pulling you against their chest. The hands gripping the back of your shirt as the head buried itself in your neck. You opened your eyes and looked.  
Papyrus?  
What?  
How?  
Questions filled your head but were shoved aside by the previous issue; you're alive and don't know when it is. You knew where you were. You were in your room in your apartment.   
You hugged Papyrus, crying just a bit harder. His hand shifted, moving up to pet and comb through your hair. His chin rested on top of your head as you buried your face in his chest. Cinnamon and Rem sat in your lap, nuzzling against you. Papyrus pulled you sideways into his lap, his back against the wall. 

"Shhh Riley. You're okay. You're fine. Everything's fine." He murmured against your head. "Everything's alright." He repeated. He said everything over and over again, it was almost like a mantra. 

His voice sounded strained, like he was holding back tears. He seemed to be trying to reassure himself of the same thing he was telling you. Everything was fine. You were fine. He was fine. You looked up at him, still crying just a bit. He looked so happy, even with the tears glimmering in his eyes. His met yours, and he wiped away your tears. 

 

He'd gone to get ice cream or something. You stood in the living room, waiting for him to come back. You didn't want to be alone. Cinnamon kneaded your shoulder with his paws as you pet him, standing in front of the window. It was dark outside, obviously since it was almost 2 am. The trees outside strained against the wind, their leaves being slowly torn away, one by one. The light turned on. "You shouldn't be standing in the dark, you could get hurt." Papyrus said. A plastic bag was set on the counter.   
Cinnamon leapt from your arms and onto to the floor as Papyrus came up behind you. You turned around and looked up at him. He looked tired, strained. He seemed older, just a tiny bit. He looked you up and down, like he was checking for something. His calm expression turned into a frown as his hand ran through your shoulder length hair. "Cut it." He said, his eyelights meeting yours. Now you were frowning at him. "Why? I thought you-"  
"I did... But I liked your shorter hair better. The short hair seems more... You." He said, his eyes returning to your hair as his fingers combed through it. He scratched your head a bit, and you nuzzled into his hand. He snorted with a smile, his hand leaving your hair to move down your back and pull you against his chest. His soul seemed to be a bit louder than normal. You didn't know how to question it since souls were a sensitive topic with monsters.

He let go after a minute. "Go choose a movie, I'll get the ice cream." You nodded and went to go do so, but he stopped you, his mouth pressing against yours in a chaste kiss before he went into the kitchen. You stood there for another minute before going to your pile of movies.  
Ice cream flavor: Mint Chocolate Chip.  
Movie: Lost in Oblivion.  
You don't know why you choose that one, you just did. It seemed right for some reason. It was one of you favorites. The movie was about a young girl abandoned on the streets. Everyday was the same to her; same routine. Nothing ever changed. She wanted change, but that was the one thing she couldn't have. At least... not until a certain someone showed up and stole her away. "Lost in Oblivion" is her story survival. She failed a suicide, she lives on the streets, she gets kidnapped by her ex boyfriend who still loves her in that creepy way, she has to find a way out.  
Change was the one thing she couldn't have, and she saw why. Change was her killer.

But it wouldn't be yours. Everyday was different for you, even in some minuscule way such as how you woke up. (Damn you dare say you've woken up from a few /special/ dreams in embarrassment).   
Papyrus held you close during the whole movie. It was protective. Like he thought he'd lose you if he let go. You felt that if you got up, you'd lose him too. You didn't want that. You don't think you could even manage that.

Papyrus laid down on the couch and you laid on top of him. The second movie had been chosen and put in. The two of you probably weren't going to stay awake through it. Both of you were tired. His arms rested around your waist, his thumb rubbed circles on the vertebrae above your waistband.   
A yawn slipped past your lips as Cinderella climbed into her pumpkin carriage and left for the ball. You remembered the time he'd taken you dancing, and you smiled. Papyrus looked at you as you tugged on his hoodie a little bit.

You kissed him, your tongues intertwining and sliding against each other after a few seconds. 

A thought crossed your mind as you pulled away.

How were you alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anybody catch the little bit of foreshadowing I threw in there?? 
> 
> What's Ara been doing I wonder????  
> Would anyone like to know in another POV change in a few days??? 


	36. How are you alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

How are you alive?

That question sat nice and comfy on a black love seat in your brain with a glass of whiskey. The question was a kid (why whiskey then?) in a black suit. You couldn't figure out what that stupid thing meant, and you highly doubted the person in the suit would actually where a suit. Why? Because they looked awkward in it. Maybe a dress? No, they looked awkward in that too. As far as you could tell, they had short brown hair, and a flat (?) chest.

"... Riley?" A hand waved in front of your face. "Riley, are you okay?" Papyrus asked. You looked at him. He stared back. "I called your name six times. Somethin' wrong?"

Was something wrong? Yes. No. Uhhhmmmm... No...? Yes. Something was wrong. You opened your mouth, then you closed it. How were you going to ask and not sound crazy? Papyrus was already looking at you in concern. The look you didn't like was back. The food on your plate was getting cold as you stabbed at it.  
Maybe he'd understand? And not think you were crazy? He said he couldn't save his brother so... He could possibly remember the runs. They'd be different than yours of course, but at least he wouldn't think you were crazy for thinking you lived the same three years over and over again.   
You kept a mental tally; in cuts. Divided among your thighs and arms. No matter when the run looped back to, those cuts were still there. You'd counted before Alex's funeral in a failed attempt at distracting yourself. It'd been like counting how many times Alex died. 1046 times. 1046 cuts. The cuts on your left arm blended in with the scar from the high school incident. The ones on your thighs were always covered, as were the ones on your right arm. You didn't know how else to keep track. You don't even know why you did. 

"Riley?"  
You looked up at him, his brow was creased in concern. "What's wron-"

"How am I alive?" You interrupted him. He stared at you in shock, like he couldn't believe that was the first thing out of your mouth. Then his shock turned to sadness. "So you remember?"  
You snorted in disbelief. "I got shot in the head and through the chest. That's pretty hard to forget."  
He looked at you, "The kid did something. I don't know loaded or whatever. Kinda stopped paying attention to the terms a few Resets ago." Resets... that must be what he calls the runs. It makes more sense too, time resetting to a specific date. The kid in your head, lounging on the sofa with a glass of whiskey waves at you. You imagined that they were smiling. "Kid?"  
"Uhh.. Yea... Chara. They can mess with time n stuff."  
"How does that equal me being alive?"  
"They set back time to before you were dead."  
"How many times?"  
"Just this once."  
"How many times have they 'reset'?" You could hear the strain in your voice. You had a very good guess. 1046 if your cuts said anything.  
"No idea. Lost track after 40 somethin'."

You put your head in your hands. You felt like crying. One of your friends had done this. Had set back time and ended up sending you into a damn war. Everything you've gone through. Every terrible thing; war, abuse, suicide. It was all because of them.  
You stabbed the table with your fork as tears welled up in your eyes. The kid's face was filled in by Chara's red eyes, happy smile and rosy cheeks. They were grinning at you, a hint of malice glimmering in their eyes. You shoved your palms into your eyes and tried to stop the flow of tears as anger bubbled up in your chest. Papyrus reached out to you, and you shoved your chair away from the table.   
"Riley? Babe what's wrong?"   
"Why?"  
"What?"  
"Why would they do that?!"  
"Riley calm do-"  
"NO!" You stood up, staring him in the eyes. "I will NOT calm down. I've gone through 1046 different fucking resets. In every damn one Alex has died. In every damn one something has turned my life to shit. In EVERY DAMN ONE I went through hell! And I remember ALL OF IT. /Especially/ last reset. It was a fucking war." He stared at you as you rambled on and cried. You couldn't remember a reset where you'd been continuously happy. You don't remember a reset where Alex didn't die.

You were talking so much you couldn't breath, you were having a panic attack anyways. You couldn't stop rambling. You couldn't breath. Everything just came crashing forward and you spit everything out. The war, the death, the fighting, the pain, how you shot a guy 13 times in the chest, how you slit the throats of 10 men after they killed your team, how you died. Everything came forward.  
Then it all stopped. The flow was cut off. The memories halted. You were drawn out of the past. Honey and cigarettes filled your nose. Papyrus had one arm around your waist and one holding your head to his chest. The hand on your back moved in slow circles as he quietly shushed you. You struggled to get your breathing under control as the tears eventually stopped.   
You'd expected him to want to leave after talking about the war, but he just seemed sadder. It wasn't something that suited him. Chara, the love seat, and the whiskey melted from your mind, a sinister smile that didn't belong on their face fading last. He swayed side to side as quiet music filled your apartment. For where? Oh, the little stereo set on the counter next to where the cat's food was.   
"Don't worry about it anymore. They promised to never reset again. You're fine right now."   
You wanted to believe him. But you couldn't. Alex was still gonna die. Something stirred in your gut as Ara permeated your thoughts. What was she doing? Was Alex going to die because of her? Are you going to die again because of her? 

What was the point of all this? Of keeping track? Of remembering? 

 

A pit formed in your stomach. Ara had started calling again. And texting too. You haven't read any of them. You don't think you should. Alex is alive and well. He wants you to go over sometime.

Your in Papyrus' lap as you play on your phone. His face is buried in your shoulder. He shifted, his teeth lightly touching your shoulder. The two of you were at Grillby's, sitting in a back booth. You didn't have work, you just didn't want to cook or call a place.   
You'd seem Chara earlier. They'd promised that they would never reset again, that they were through with that. You were only slightly grateful. Your still blamed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go.


	37. This chapter consists mostly of sleeping :P

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much the title

No matter what they did, you felt you would always blame them. You were a forgiving person, but putting multiple people through a hell that only they can remember, multiple times, is wrong. Sometimes you looked at them, and all you could see is that malicious smile that had been attached to the figure in your head.  
There are multiple definitions of monsters, in your opinion at least. 1) the monsters under our beds that our parents told us about. 2) the ones that came out of the mountain. 3) the ones in your head. 4) someone who has done terribly wrong. 5) manipulative jack asses. 6) whatever the dictionary says. Sure, those may be more things the word 'monster' can be attached to, but you couldn't think of another word beside 'definition' for them. Chara, although sweet (in this timeline), falls into category four; someone who has done terribly wrong.  
Said child was currently sitting across from you doing their homework. Why were they sitting across from you? Because you were at Asgore's. Why? Because he offered to feed you food, and of course you agreed. You were sitting quietly in a chair at the dinner table, staring a little bit to the left of Chara. Asgore was in the kitchen cooking whatever he was cooking. It smelled good.  
Chara's forehead creased in a frown as they stared at the paper in front of them. You say forward and took a look yourself. It was math. The bane of every students existence. Looked like Algebra 2? Maybe Pre-Calc? You'd taken both those class in high school, and passed them both. Chara looked up at you. "Rileyyy can you help mee?" They whined. You rolled your eyes and moved to the other side of the table. "Sure kiddo." When Asgore came out, you'd deduced that it was Algebra 2 and you were explaining that what the book called a hyperbola function was actually a rational function, this technically wouldn't be explained until Pre-Calc, but eh, the more you know.  
Food was creamy Italian chicken pasta. It was delicious and you had to have seconds. You also got an extra container to take home with you later. Asgore came out with desert while you were explaining how to graph a circle. How did you remember all of this when it was in no way related to anything you've done in life? No idea. Desert was apple pie, and again, you got to take some home with you. 

You came home around 10 pm. You could feel someone watching you the entire walk into your apartment building. It stopped when you got inside, and you pretty much ran up the stairs to your apartment.   
It was dark and silent. You felt it was too silent. You flicked on the light. Nothing was amiss. Cats were asleep, or had been. They got up and came over to you and meowed. You picked up Rem and held her to your chest. The rest of your house was empty. Nobody was there. Nothing was wrong. There were no torn up photos of you and Papyrus in the guest room, no photos of you and Ara strung around your room.   
You turned around and almost screamed, but you clamped your own hand over your mouth as the image disappeared from your mind. This building wasn't in ruins. There weren't slowly decaying bodies lying around. There hadn't been one strung up by electrical cords behind you. You dropped Rem and darted around your apartment, turning on all of the lights. You slipped on the rug and almost fell on your face, but you managed to keep your balance as you left the bathroom. Rem returned to your arms and you crouched in a corner. Corner had two sides cover. Nothing could sneak up on you....

 

It was almost 12:30 am when you texted Papyrus. You couldn't sleep, no matter how hard you tried. You closed your eyes, you saw rotting bodies. You opened your eyes, you saw dead, rotting, empty eye sockets.  
Papyrus showed up around 12:45 and you grabbed your overnight bag. He teleported to his house, and you hugged him. He smiled and hugged back. You calmed yourself down and forced the disturbing images out of your head.   
You finally got some sleep.

 

/Hiss.  
Click.  
You pulled the trigger.  
The man below you collapsed, bleeding from a hole in the top of his head.  
There'd been a turning point in the war.  
It went from two sides against each other, to chaos and everyone just fighting to survive. Every man for himself.  
Alex was dead.  
So was all of your friends.  
You were alone.  
The sniper rifle in your hands felt heavy. You haven't moved for hours. Your joints felt like unoiled hinges.  
The town was deserted.  
The sun was going down.  
Dusk.  
You got down from your perch and started the careful journey back to your hideout.  
You rounded a corner, and a bullet lodged itself in your chest.  
You stood there in shock, staring at the gunman across the street. He had a blank look in his eyes. Like he didn't care anymore. Like he was numb. The rifle fell from your hands. You chuckled and choked on the blood building up in your lungs. It flew out of your mouth as you coughed and smiled at him, shakily bringing your hands up and clapping. Your chest throbbed. Your lungs burned as they drowned in blood from the open bullet wound.   
He stared at you blankly. His gun still pointed at you.   
You collapsed as everything went black.   
As everything disappeared.

Darkness replaced everything. It was strangely calming. Shouldn't you have woken up? Or did the dream actually kill you? No. You felt to warm to be dead. The darkness tinted green and you felt safe, like no matter what happened here, you'd be fine. Nobody could hurt you..../

It's a stupid question to ask when your smaller than him, you were just tired, and now he wouldn't stop staring at you like some precious thing. What's the question?   
Why were you always the little spoon. And it had been accompanied by a tired pout.  
Papyrus had just looked at you, chuckled, smiled, and said that it was because you were smaller than him and he felt like it.  
You were a HEAD smaller than him. Hmph.   
It was roughly 4 am. Why were you awake at 4 am? Because you'd needed to pee. Now, you were for some reason, fighting to stay awake. You didn't feel endangered or anything, your brain just didn't want you to sleep anymore. You felt like you should.  
Papyrus was asleep next to you, and had one arm laying on your stomach, and one leg tangled with yours. His other arm was under his skull, which was pretty much pressed into your neck. You could feel his breath on your skin, it made you shiver.  
You think your brain has given up in trying to keep you awake if the heaviness of your eyelids is anything to go by. You move so your back is against Papyrus' chest, his arm and leg wrap around you.  
"And you always end up the little spoon anyways." He chuckled in your ear as you fell asleep. Damned skeleton. 

/the darkness felt like a warm blanket. Until it started constricting around you. You couldn't breath. You felt trapped. 

You could hear Ara's laughter all around you.  
The darkness shifted into a living room.  
You were trying to get off the floor. She kicked you in the stomach and destroyed your progress of getting to your knees.  
Tears were streaming down your face.   
You don't know what you did.  
Did you do anything wrong?   
You don't know.

The kicking stopped.  
Her angry voice disappeared.  
"Oh Riles.... If only you would stop hurting me." A hand strokes your cheek and you flinched. "Then I wouldn't have to do this to you." Her voice was laced with poison that slipped into your mind and clouded your judgement. It was your fault wasn't it? You'd hurt her. How? Does it matter?  
"You're mine Riles." She said before chuckling. "I love you."  
Oh? She did?   
Yes. She did.  
And you loved her too.  
Right?  
Yes. You do./

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a few hours late guys. Internet went down at home and I had to wait till I was at school to post. Hopefully that doesn't happen tonight though.


	38. Pov change again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS FROM ARA CRIMSON'S PERSPECTIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun. Kill me later.

I sat on my bed, staring at all of the photos I had of you and that /monster/. How could you have betrayed me like that? You'd promised you'd be mine forever.   
You were mine.  
Not his.  
My attempts to make him see that you could never truly love him had failed.  
My attempts to get you to see my point of view have failed.  
I want you back.  
And I want you now, my precious gem.  
You'd been the gem of my high school career. I'd loved you so so very much. You'd loved me. Where did that go? Why did you leave me? Why would you leave me like that?  
I threw the photos off my bed as tears stung my eyes.   
You were MINE. And NOBODY else's! I will have my gem. Even if it means that skeleton dies.  
But hopefully it won't come to that? It'd be beautiful to see him fretting about something that isn't his. That's what he's been doing the entire time, huh Riley? Stealing what's mine.  
How could you even believe that monster actually loved you? What has he done that I didn't do?

I walked out of my room and down the hallway to my father's study. The door was opened by one of the maids after I knocked. Father was sitting at his desk, doing something I didn't really care about right now. I had just one thing on my mind.  
"Father."  
He looked up at me and smiled. "Ah, honey bunches. How are you?"  
"I have a favor."  
His eyebrow rose as he fell into his natural facade. "Oh? I'm listening darling."  
"I want my girlfriend back."  
His eyes turned dark and a malicious grin spread across his face.   
"In one piece." I added.  
He nodded. "Oh course Ara. Anything for my little girl. I'll have some of the boys retrieve her."  
"Unharmed?"  
"As you wish."  
I nodded, and walked out of his study, heading to the guest room you would be staying in. There were some things that needed to be fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its so short. But to make up for it, I'm posting two chapters tonight.


	39. Well then...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing important... Till like the end :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See?? Two chapters in one night because I realized where this one was heading and I'd wanted to get a POV change in before I did this soooo... Yea

Why.  
Why did you still have it.  
Hadn't you thrown the damned thing away?  
How could you have overlocked something as... detrimental, as this?  
Your soul heart.  
Your eyes stung with tears.  
The necklace sat on the dresser. A mauve heart shaped pendant given to you by Ara for your 16th birthday.  
Why did you still have it?  
It almost seemed to be mocking you. Mocking your fear.  
Cinnamon tried to climb up your leg but couldn't and cheated paced around you as you stared at the damned necklace. It hurt to look at it.  
Rem jumped onto your dresser and sat next to it, looking at you. She looked from you, to the necklace, then back at you. Before you could blink, before you could act, the necklace was pushed off the dresser and to the floor where it shattered into pieces. The purple pieces of the heart lay on the floor as you process what just happened. Rem broke the necklace.   
What a smart kitty.  
You cleaned up the pieces and threw them in the trash.

And then your front door is pretty much kicked down by your bubbly friend Bunby. Why is she here? Because apparently, your wardrobe is out of date and needs updating. Thank what ever gods are out there that you've already gone through everything and hidden what you want to keep. She even threw out your underwear. Which made you sad. You hate shopping for underwear- there goes your bras too.... Same issue. You hate shopping for them and you have so much anxiety about it. At least you hid your favorite bra; a gray sports bra that made you look mostly flat and was quite comfortable. You've honestly had it since... freshman year of high school. A testament to how much you've grown in seven years. Most people would think it was weird to not buy new bras but, a) they were expensive, and b) you were perfectly comfortable wearing the ones you had. Though you did but new underwear every so often (you just didn't always throw out the old ones, like Bunby was doing now with EVERYTHING).  
You had no choice but to watch as 90 percent of your clothing was dumped into black trash bags that would be given to the Salvation Army and reached with a grand's worth of clothing because that's what Bunby just said. At least she wasn't throwing out all of your pajamas. After the bags were filled up and shoved into the trunk of her car, she dragged you out of your apartment, and shoved you into the passenger side of her car. You honestly thought this was ridiculous, but when she had a goal, there was nothing that could be done to stop her, not even a pitiful 21 year old like yourself.  
You started texting Papyrus and complaining to him. He didn't know what to say. Which made sense since he didn't have someone redoing your entire fucking wardrobe.  
Bunby proceeded to drive around to pretty much every clothes store in town and make you try on thousands of different outfits, and then purchased the ones you liked. Like the on that was currently being bagged: a galaxy crop top with the words "astrophile: someone who loves the stars; astronomy," and a pair of gray skinny jeans. Next stop, was the undergarments store and you didn't want to go.

 

Bunby finally finished her shopping spree on you. Everything was put away in the closet, and you were sprawled across the couch with a slushy and jalapeño poppers. This was your lunch. And probably your dinner too. Not that you had that much, you just probably weren't going to eat dinner. You'd most likely miss it. You felt mentally exhausted from having to make so many decisions on a topic you didn't actually understand that well besides 'these colors don't go together unless this other one is there.' But you hardly remembered that either.  
Papyrus was texting you. The messages you sent back didn't even make sense. Your eyelids felt heavy. You sat up on the couch, and were hit by a wave of nausea. Maybe you shouldn't have had something that's been in your fridge for a few days?   
You looked at the counter- where those sleeping pills? Did you own those? Wait... Someone was at the window.   
Shit.   
Shit.   
Shit. 

The last thing you remember is getting smacked upside the head with a baseball bat while trying to send your emergency code to Papyrus...  
You don't know if you hit send....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasnt actually the route id been planning buuuuuuuutttt I guess you tellin Papyrus a war story wasnt on this story's agenda...


	40. You're trapped.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh  
> You've been kidnapped  
> Ara hasn't changed  
> There's some awkward time spaces in here  
> I'm guessing mind break??  
> Also a bit of sexual stuff. Not really explicit but I still have to tag it

You woke up surrounded by warmth. You were in a soft bed, under soft blankets, with a fluffy pillow. Someone was petting your head. The hands felt feminine. You almost felt safe. Till the dull pain in the back of your head reminded you what happened.  
You rolled away from the hand as your eyes shot open. The blankets pooled around your waist as you sat up and stared at her. Ara was sitting on the edge of the bed, hand poised in the air where it had been. She stared at you in shock. You glared at her and tried to suppress your panic.  
She smiled her sickeningly sweet smile. "Good evening Love. How did you sleep?"  
"Like I got hit in the head by a baseball bat. Where am I?"  
She sighed with a childish pout. "I told them not to hurt you. Where'd they hit you?" She got up and came around the other side of the bed. You rolled to the opposite and off the bed. Your vision filled with black spots as you tried to maintain balance. "Where. Am. I." You growled.   
She smiled and gestured to the room around you. "Your room of course. This is where you'll be staying."   
You snorted. "Who says I'm staying?"  
Her eyes darkened a little, starting to look dangerous. "I am of course. You're mine Ri, remember?"  
"I'm not yours bitch."  
"Well that's no way to talk to your girlfriend, especially after I saved you."  
"Saved me?" You laughed. "From what? Obviously not yourself since I'm still here and you're not dead."  
Her smile started to become strained. How far do you have to push till she snaps? "From those filthy monsters that had you under their control. I saved you from them. And that stupid skeleton. He didn't really love you, you know that right?" Poison. Everything she was saying was poison. She was lying to you. Just like she always has. "He was just using you."  
"For what? What could he possibly have been using me for?"  
"For fun, sex, amusement."  
"For the record, we haven't had sex. And Stretch wouldn't do that." Why did you use his nickname? What point was there to that?  
"Oh sure he would. He's a GUY. Guys are all the same. They trick you, they use you, they throw you away." Her grin grew so large that the psychotic thing could have split her face in half. "Sooner or later, he'd have tossed you aside like a rag doll. You were NOTHING to him."  
Don't listen to her. You meant something to Papyrus. You loved him. He loved you... Right? YES. He does! Stop letting her into your head! He wouldn't hurt you like that. He promised he wouldn't. He was nothing like Ara. Ara was a cold hearted manipulative bitch. You meant something to Papyrus. To Ara, you were nothing more than a toy for her to fuck around with.  
"You should be thanking me Riley." When did she get this close? Her hand gripped your chin and made you look at her. "After all, I saved you." Her eyes glinted with glee that hardened into impatience. "I'm waiting~..." She said. You stares at her in defiance. You weren't going to thank her. She hadn't saved you, she kidnapped you.  
Her eyes narrowed as you glared at her. "It seems you've gotten bolder since you ran away. I guess I'll need to fix that." Her hand left your chin, and them came back and slapped you across the face. Her ring cut into your cheek, leaving a small gash. "Thank me, Riley." You remained silent.   
You weren't prepared for her pulling you up to eye level by your hair. A quiet whimper slipped past your teeth. "I saved you. You better be fucking grateful." She seethed. She wasn't going to stop till you thanked her. You didn't want to. But you didn't exactly have a choice as she yanked on your hair again to get you to look her in the eyes.  
This. This is what you'd run from. Even after a war, you were still afraid of her. This angry bitch that was only three months older than you, and four inches taller, was what scared you. If someone asked you who death was to you, you'd say it was Ara because she'd be the death of you.  
You averted your eyes and mumbled a "thank you" under your breath. Her eyes sparkled. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you speak up a little bit?" Great. Humiliation. One of her favorite things. It was never towards her, it was always about someone else. In this case, it was you who was being humiliated. She yanked on your hair again and you whimpered another thank you.  
The mean look in her eyes disappeared and her maniacal smile was replaced by a soft grin. "See? Now that wasn't so hard now was it Ri." She pet your hair as you tried to blink away tears. Her lips touched your cheekbone and you suppressed a flinch. They were sticky with lipgloss, no doubt leaving a print.  
She started talking, and you nodded along, not actually listening to anything she said. Was Papyrus looking for you? Was anybody? How long had you even been gone? Would anyone have even noticed your absence?  
"I'll be back with your dinner in a couple hours. Ok?" She said. You just nodded, and she left the room. Now was your chance to find some sort of escape route, or just look around in general. The door was locked from the outside, windows were locked, and there was a set of bars on the other side. There was a walk-in closet with a bunch of different outfits. A bathroom was connected to the room, and there was a large bathtub in it. It occurred to you, as you looked at the games to the nine different gaming consoles hooked up to the flat screen mounted on the wall, that this was your room from when you'd stayed here as a kid. They'd given you everything you could have ever wanted, until a point. That point being when Ara had changed. The bed was queen sized, and there was a desk in front of the window with a roller chair.  
You sat on the window seat and stared outside. You could see the stars twinkling in the sky. You wondered what Papyrus was doing. What your friends were doing. You were somewhere in Hijlad. How far away from Ebbot City is that? Bad question. You knew how far away it was. Hijlad was where you'd grown up before middle school, and it was a 3 hour drive. You can't figure out how long you've been gone.

 

Ara's given you everything you could want, except painless love. But is it really enough? It shouldn't be. You were like a bird, you wanted to spread your wings and fly. You wanted to leave. You wanted to run as far away as possible. But how are you supposed to get away? Escape was damn near impossible. You'd tried it a few hours after waking up. Ara beat you pretty hard. The doors were guarded by her father's men.  
He was an underground crime boss. You don't know what he dealt with, you knew at one point, but you don't anymore. He has men outside every major door.  
You don't know how you're going to get away.

Do you even want to get away?

You have everything. 

What more do you need?

Why did you run away in the first place?

You belonged to Ara.

She loved you.  
She protected you.

You didn't need to worry about anything anymore.

Papyrus didn't mean anything. He didn't want you, otherwise he'd be looking for you.   
Is he?  
You don't know.  
Ara says he's not. That he hasn't even lifted a finger to your disappearance.  
Your not sure if you believe her. But do you really have a choice?

 

She pressed you back onto the bed, pushing you back as she kissed you, her tongue tracing the roof of your mouth as her hands disappeared under your shirt.

Is this cheating?

She whispers how much she loves you as her mouth trails down to your collarbone.

Is it rape?

Her skin is soft like silk beneath your hands as you help her remove her shirt.

Do you enjoy it?

Matching bra and panties. Sneaky little girl planned this. You feel drugged.

Everything was becoming foggy. You couldn't think straight. 

She kissed you again as her hand fondled your breast.

Why were you crying babygirl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo do you people think I should tag Rape/Non-con?? Idk...


	41. Lil Red Riding Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think its been three weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to Amanda Seyfried for the title and idea for this chapter. Lil Red Riding Hood is the song used.

The room seemed a bit smaller now. There was more stuff in it. Artsy stuff. Like a keyboard, music stand, a guitar, stuff to draw or pain with. Ara had gotten them for you after asking if there was anything you wanted. You'd known better than to ask to be let go. There was also a mini fridge now, filled with your favorite snacks. The dudes who'd come in, some of Ara's dad's henchmen, had installed it. One of the ones looked at you in pity, you know had a screwdriver tapped under your bed. 

You spent most of your time either reading, or writing/playing music. All of your fairy tale favorites -Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Robin Hood- were all on the bookshelf, amongst others. You'd just finished reading Little Red Riding Hood, Ara had just left too. She almost reminded you of the Big Bad Wolf in a way. You felt inspired.  
The music paper felt cold beneath your hand. It was cold outside, first few day of December you guessed. It was hard to tell the date since you didn't know when you'd been taken, or when you woke up. The room wasn't too cold, the objects just held onto the cold.  
You abandoned the music sheet for regular lines paper; every song is a poem with music. You'd write the lyrics first, then figure out the instrumental. Memories from when you'd first started dating Ara came to the surface, and you didn't suppress them.  
You sang along as you wrote.

/You turned around and nearly bumped into her. Your crush. She had long black hair, and electric blue eyes. Today, she'd chosen to wear a black pencil skirt with a white tank top underneath a yellow see through shawl. She was beautiful, and you had to work hard so as to not blush.   
She smiled at you. "You're Riley Petrovich, right?" She asked. You felt your heart stop as your eyes widened and you nodded. "Would you like to be my date to Homecoming?" She almost seemed shy. You nodded, and she smiles back.  
She treated you like you were everything to her./

Hey there little red riding hood,  
You sure are looking good.  
You're everything a big bad wolf could want.

/You were starting to walk home after the volleyball game. The girls had won a home game, and you'd helped Ara get photos for the yearbook. You were tired, and your feet hurt.  
Hurried footsteps behind you made you look over your shoulder. It was Ara. She slowed down beside you, looking down at you with a smile. "Hey, you mind if I walk you home?" You shrugged, too tired to care./

Little red riding hood,  
I don't think little big girls should  
Go walking in these spooky old woods alone.

/April 25th. Your first date with Ara. You couldn't figure out what shirt to wear. None of them seemed right for today. You settled for a light blue tank top with an orange flannel. Seemed formal enough, right? You had no idea where she was taking you.   
"It looks cuter on you when it's untied." Her voice said from by the door as you tied the front of the flannel. You looked back at her. She wore an knee length jade green dress with a jean jacket covering her shoulders. She was smiling at you, her eyes sparkled. She looked like she loved you. You didn't have trouble believing it.   
She came forward and untied the front of your flannel. "You look beautiful darling."

She took you out to the middle of nowhere after dinner at Olive Garden. Tonight was a meteor shower. You laid on your back as she sat next to you. She wasn't watching the meteor shower, she was watching you. You sat up, "What? Do I have something on my face?" You asked. She laughed with a smile, "No, you just have beautiful eyes." Your cheeks burned with a blush as you looked away.  
You looked back to return the compliment, but were quieter by her lips meeting yours in a chaste kiss./

What big eyes you have,  
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad.  
Just to see that you don't get chased,  
I think I oughta walk with you for a ways.  
What full lips you have,  
They're sure to lure someone bad.  
So until you get to Grandma's place,  
I think you oughta walk with me and be safe.

/Two months of dating, and not once has she harmed you. She hasn't held your hand either. Her family, meaning her father, loves you. He thinks you'd be the perfect daughter-in-law. They dote on you, and love you, and care for you more than your own family does. You love it./

Gonna keep my sheep suit on,  
'Til I'm sure that you've been shown  
That I can be trusted walking with you alone.  
Little red riding hood,  
I'd like to hold you if I could,  
But you might think I'm a big bad wolf so I won't.

/She gave you everything you wanted, everything you needed.   
But the look in her eye when she smiles at you has changed. It looked hungry.  
She still hasn't held your hand. She hasn't cuddled with you either. You wish she would.  
You felt that she was everything you wanted.  
Quite possibly, everything you needed too./

What a big heart I have,  
The better to love you with.  
Little red riding hood,  
Even bad wolves can be good.  
I try to keep satisfied,  
Just to walk close by your side.  
Maybe you'll see things my way,  
'Fore we get to Grandma's place.

You scribbled down the last few versus, just repeats of earlier ones, as you broke down. When had it changed? You'd had something so good back then, what had made her change? Had you done something wrong?You didn't hear the door open as you cried into your hands.   
Her hands set themselves down on your shoulders, and you gasped in shock as they rubbed your shoulders. "Oh babygirl, what's wrong?" You wanted out. That's what was wrong.  
You were like a caged bird, you couldn't spread your wings and fly away. All you could do was song and be pretty for your captor. Ara was your captor, and you were her pretty little songbird. She knelt down in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face. Her thumbs wipes at your tears. "My little Gem, I don't know why you're crying. That was such a beautiful song, you should be proud of yourself. I know I am." She smiled at you. For once it didn't seem poisonous or hungry. It almost seemed like... She loved you?  
You gathered up a bit of courage, and used it to push her away, pushing your roller chair away too. "Go away." You said hoarsely. She looked hurt, you could almost believe it was genuine. She got up and came towards you. You expected to be smacked, but she just stopped in front of you and took your hand. "Sweetie, I know you want to leave, but I can't let you. Out there is too dangerous for a precious gem like you. Those filthy monsters would hurt you, and abuse you. You can't leave, I'm sorry." She kissed your forehead and then left. She'd bring you dinner in a few hours.  
She'd changed tactics. Instead of abusing you, she was going to lie to you. That could still be considered abuse though, right? You couldn't let her convince you of anything, not even that she was actually being nice. Papyrus had to be looking for you, you had to believe that. He loved you. That's what lovers did, right? That's how it went in the books.... But life isn't a fairy tale.

The keys of the keyboard were cold, like the paper had been. It was like the one you had in Ebbot. It wasn't that one though, it was missing all the stickers, and the grayness of the keys from years of use. You tried and tried to put piano music to the lyrics, but it just didn't feel right. So you switched to the guitar.  
You should probably learn how to play the guitar before trying to apply it to music.... There was a booklet in the case. You took that and the guitar over to the bed, and you started teaching yourself.

You needed to find a way out, and soon. There was a reason why the installation dude had given you a Philips head screwdriver, you just needed to figure it out. For now, you'd try and cope. That's all you really could do after possibly three weeks of being stuck here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things:  
> 1) should i make a playlist on YouTube of all the songs in this fic???  
> 2) this may seem completely random (like me going around the school asking for empty pizza boxes.....) but it'll help dictate the chapter after tomorrow's. so, another vote thingy.  
> 1:Bridge,   
> or  
> 2: window?  
> Chose on the comments.


	42. Papyrus POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Papyrus' POV

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since you disappeared. We have no idea where you could be. Alex wasn't dead, so that was good, I think you'd be relieved to hear that. He says that Ara left Glenfall about a week before you disappeared.  
Your door had been locked, your coffee table shoved out of place, your phone on the floor. The last draft in your messages was your code word for when you needed help: hopscotch. It'd been for me, but it was never sent. There were sleeping pills on the counter, ones that you didn't own, food that had them dissolved in them. Almost everyone is convinced it was a kidnapping and that you hadn't done something stupid and weren't floating down the river or something.  
I was pretty sure you'd been kidnapped, hadn't felt your soul shatter. And you'd think, that with that small connection I had to you, I would be able to find you. But no, I've searched everywhere I could think of, and I haven't once felt any sort of pull towards you.  
Alex suspected that Ara had taken you. That still gave us no lead as to where you were.

My soul hurt. Not like it does when I have a nightmare about the resets. Its more of a "I miss you" kind of hurt. And I do. I miss you, a lot. Its kinda sad that I'm sitting in your apartment with your cats eating Oreos and milk. It didn't feel the same. Didn't feel right.  
It's almost your birthday. Roughly five more days till December sixth. Before all this had happened, I'd been planning on taking the day off work to spend it with you. We could go do something. I don't know anymore. I think, that if we get you back by your birthday, that we'd both just want to cuddle. I know I would. I'm pretty sure you would, I mean like, your going through a living nightmare if your with Ara right? You told me you never wanted to see her again. You told me that she hurt you. If you were with her now, what was she doing to you? Was she beating you?  
Who would be the girl I see when you come back? Strong, confident, perseverant Riley? Or some other version that I haven't met and that you probably wouldn't want me to?  
The cookie broke and sunk to the bottom of the cup. It was sad, kinda like your disappearance. It hurt to think about you. What if you did love her and you didn't actually want to come back? What if you didn't love me like you said you did?

The kid can't load to before you were taken. They'd saved not to long after the day we think you disappeared. It'd taken me at least a day to realize something was wrong when you didn't respond to my messages. By then, the kid had already saved. The damage was done. We had to figure out how to get you back ourselves. Even if it took us a couple weeks and we finally managed it. But loading then and speeding up the process, you'd still remember what happened. Doing that would just hurt you more.

 

3:15 pm. I can almost hear music. Probably because your neighbors are loud. It was one I hadn't heard before, probably somewhere along the lines of what you'd play at Grillby's.  
He wasn't too happy about your disappearance either, thought it was some sort of jab at us monsters, taking away someone who was so close to us. He also seems to think of you like a daughter of sorts. He hired you off the streets, a nerdy looking kid with a snarky attitude and good skill in music. He'd taken a liking too you almost immediately, is what he said. He's helped in trying to find you, asking the regulars at his bar when the last time they saw you was.  
There was one regular missing, a human named Fred, but the people he came with just said that his cousin had died so he was off at the funeral. Grillby didn't think Fred would know anything anyways, dude was usually drunk.  
Alphys was working her ass off at the PD with the other officers. She'd pulled in information from across the country on Ara Crimson's father, who was a known underground crime boss with a price on his head. If Ara had you, it was likely her father had some sort of hand in it as well.  
Sans seems to be more distraught besides myself. He keeps trying to 'look on the bright side,' but I think he's finding it harder and harder as he runs out of things to say that could be good about this whole situation. We seem to be getting further and further away from finding you. That's what he seems to think.  
Do you even know we're looking for you? I'm guessing not, why would your kidnapper tell you? It's not like you're being held ransom. 

It's snowing here. Is it where you are? Cinnamon and Rem have been moved to my house. They seem to be enjoying it, though Rem seems a bit depressed. I think she misses you. I can't tell if Cinnamon feels anything, he keeps trying to get Rem to play?  
Why did you name Rem, Rem? Was there any really purpose to her name? You told me Cinnamon's was because, for some odd reason, his fur had reminded you of cinnamon even though he's a gray cat. Why Rem?  
She hasn't really done anything. Hasn't really moved. She misses you. Sans misses you. Undyne misses you (I haven't seen her in a while, but Alphys says she's working on some sort of soul tracking device? Though I doubt that it would work since just doing it with magic hasn't seemed to work). Alphys misses you. Bunby is freaking out. Barren seems to be the calmest about all of this, like he has more success at looking on the bright side, or maybe he just has confidence you're going to come back to us one way or another. Grillby seems like a worried father. And I miss you. If there was a word bigger than that, it's probably what I feel.

1046\. That's how many times you said you've been through the resets. Why am I thinking of this now? Because that clock is broken. Its stuck at 10:46. Pm? Am? Don't know. Its just stuck there. Batteries are probably dead but the people at the police department probably have more important things to do than worry about whether or not a clock is working.  
Its currently 8:37pm. Why am I at the PD? Because I couldn't think of anywhere else to be, and I'd rather be going through possible places you could be, than sitting around doing nothing. Can't even nap without wondering where you are and worrying about you. Might as well not be lazy, right? Sans is worried. He misses that. I miss it too. But I can't bring myself to sleep when you could be in pain.

When you come back, I swear I'm not gonna leave you until I'm positive you're absolutely fine. Working knots out of people's muscles can wait for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Its pretty much 1:40 am and I just wrote another chapter :P  
> Anyone else have input on the Bridge or Window question?


	43. You shouldn't quit eating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep  
> Dream  
> Wake up  
> Sex. But not wake up sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for some rape/noncon towards end of chapter

You woke up in pain. Not like actual physical pain like getting shot in the shoulder, or getting fucked senseless. Phantom pain. You'd had another nightmare about the war. Your first battle again. You'd been shot at least four times. Two in the left shoulder, one in the thigh, and one through your right triceps. All those spots hurt. Burned like acid.  
Another thing you woke up to, was being unusually warm. Not like a sick type of warm, more of a theres another person in the bed type of warmth. And there was. Your face was pressed into Ara's shoulder, her arms wrapped possessively around you. She was still asleep. You don't know what time it is. You didn't even know what day it was. There was no light coming in from beyond the curtains. The house itself was silent. The air above the comforter was cold, meaning that you couldn't leave the bed unless you wanted to be cold. Ara had taken and burned the clothes you'd gotten here in, including the jacket you'd had. She was adamant about you wearing only the stuff she bought for you, you had no say in it.

You were starving, but you wouldn't eat the food she brought you. You flushed it down the toilet when she wasn't around. Why weren't you eating? Because the food she gave you was drugged. Sedatives. You guessed they were in there to make you more cooperative. More obedient, submissive. Well you weren't anymore. You'd eat as little as you could when she was around, and then eat some of the non-drugged snacks in the mini fridge.  
You still had the screwdriver. It was under your bed still, though you have taken out to work on the windows and the bars. The windows were easy, just used the screwdriver to pry the 6 layers of packing tape and duct tape off. It was freezing outside, snow lay on the ground in a thin blanket. You had the top right corner of the bars unscrewed. If you needed to, or just generally had the chance, you'd jump out the window. Sure you were in a room on the second floor, but there were bushes below you, and the snow was thicker there. At most, it was a 25 foot drop. You'd take it when you had the chance.

Ara stirred, and her arms tightened around you, you closed your eyes and pretended to still be sleeping. She shifted in front of you, and you felt her kiss your forehead before she got up. Her hand combed through your hair, it was too long in your opinion. She left, and you heard the door close.  
You waited a while, what must've been an hour, before sitting up. The blankets pulled around you as you went and looked out the window. It was snowing again... You wondered if it was snowing in Ebbot. You hoped Papyrus was looking for you. You honestly had no idea what you'd do once you got off property. Run? Just pick a direction and run until you can't anymore? Find your way to the ocean and follow the coast back to Mt. Ebbot? How long would it take you? Would you even be able to make it?  
Probably not....  
The reflection of your eyes in the window dimmed. The curtain was dropped back into place. A downside to the sedatives was that there was a withdrawal period. They made you feel... Okay. Not happy, not sad, just in between. You missed that feeling. It was calming to not have any sort of stress insistently pressing into your mind.   
You probably wouldn't be able to make it out.  
The room felt colder, and you crawled back into bed, curling into a ball where'd you'd previously laid. Sleep was easy to find, but it wasn't pleasant.

/The AK-47 felt heavy in your hands. Lieutenant Briggs had just been shot through the chest. Nobody could call off the assault now, not unless someone else assumed the position.  
You were crouched behind a wall of dead bodies, reloading your gun. The smell of dead people was already thick in the air. It stuck to your skin, your hair, your uniform. It made you want to throw up if you focused on it too long. Gun loaded, you rolled away from the body pile and laid on your stomach, sniper position. You were a sniper this time, you just needed to fill other positions, so you were. You took out enemy targets as they moved. You tried not to accidentally shoot your comrades, but it was hard with everyone moving. Hope you didn't go to hell for friendly fire.   
A grenade landed just to your left, and you barely had time to roll out of the way before it blew up. Harlow pulled you too your feet and then shoved you aside, tossing an M-16 at you and taking the AK-47. This didn't usually happen, but you went with it anyways; you had to adapt. If changing weapons mid-fire would change something about this fight, you're alright with that.  
Firing a few rounds, the two of you ducked behind the body of walls. Seems the buddy system was in play now, Harlow didn't seem likely to leave you behind. Something blew up beyond the barrier, someone screamed.  
"Where's Lieutenant?" Harlow said over the noise. You jerked your head towards a body out in the open, "'E's dead! Shot through the chest by an M-60!" You told him. He didn't look happy. He nodded. "We gotta fall back, we can't hold position!" Everyone trusted Harlow. If anyone was to replace Briggs, it'd be Harlow until someone else could come and take charge. That wasn't likely to happen anytime soon though. Jikens was dead, and the radio blown to shrapnel.   
You nodded, and turned around to run across the open space to where some of your comrades were camping out. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. "I expect to see you alive Petrovich." He said, his tone and gaze, serious. You nodded again, and he let go.   
You took off from behind the wall when there was a short ceasefire. It started up again, bullets flying past and missing you. You slid into a spot next to your comrades.  
"Briggs is dead. Harlow's taken command. We can't hold the position. We have to fall back." You said, relaying the information./

The small reprieve didn't last long after that nightmare. 

/You and Papyrus sat on the beach. Your head was in his lap, and he was running his fingers through your hair. Everything was calm and peaceful.  
Until a fistful of your hair was grabbed as you were thrown a few feet.  
What the hell?  
You looked up, and saw an extremely angry Ara. Her fists were clenched. She was like a giant, a good three times larger than you. Her blue eyes were dark with anger and hatred. She yelled at you, but you couldn't understand a word she said. She hit you over and over again, and you begged for her to stop. Instead of stopping, she kicked you, and you flew out into the ocean of your dream. The water turned black and sticky, like tar. It clung to you, and pulled you under. It filled your mouth and flowed into your lungs. You couldn't breathe.  
Everything turned hot and orange, like fire. You're lungs burned as they were ignited. You screamed./

You woke up to Ara calling your name and cradling you to her chest. Her hair was wet and she smelled like lavender. Her hand pet your cheek in a loving way. You still couldn't breathe. She looked at you in concern.   
"Babygirl, what's wrong?"  
You sat up and pushed yourself away from her, not noticing the change in her eyes. "Nothing."  
"Riley," her fingers thread into the hair on the back of your head, twisting and tangling. "Don't lie to me." She whispered in your ear as she yanked on your hair, pulling you back towards her. You barely whimpered, her grip didn't let up. "What's wrong babygirl?" She asked again, and you tried to pull your head away. She just pulled harder, and farther until your back was against her chest, her arm wrapped around your stomach.   
"It's nothing important."  
"Oh? And are you sure, you calling my name while you sleep, isn't some sort of... Sign?"  
WHAT!? Oh no. Oh god no. Please no. No no no no no.  
Her mouth was by your ear as she spoke. "Are you sure there isn't something you want?" You shivered as she exhaled, her other hand slipping down past your waistband. You couldn't get away, scooting away from her hand would be scooting into her and she would get the wrong idea. Moving forward, she would definitely get the wrong idea.   
Her other hand slipped underneath your sleep shirt, snaking up your stomach to your chest. The hand below your waistband slipped lower, two fingers circling your hole.

You begged for her to stop.   
But she didn't.  
She didn't listen to anything you said about her stopping. She just kept going.  
She pressed her lips to yours as she pressed you down into the mattress.

 

You were sobbing by the time she decided she was finished with you. Your body trembled with aftershocks, and you couldn't hide the flinch that came when Ara pet your hair.  
She smiled. "You shouldn't stop eating babygirl. You could get /hurt/ doing that." The little bit of venom in her voice told you she knew you weren't eating what she brought. God only knew what she'd do to keep you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would've have posted when I finished buuuttt I fell asleep after I finished. Sorry :/   
> Anybody else think about the window/bridge thing?
> 
> Also:  
> Anybody want me to make a YouTube playlist of all the songs featured in this fic?


	44. Oops she did it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ara cheated on you

The bars were practically off, just hanging by loose screws. Your widow was fully operational. You were not.

You'd tried escaping a few days ago. Did not end well. At least you hadn't tried getting out through the window, otherwise that would be blocked off. You'd picked the lock to your door instead, then you'd ran. You didn't make it far, especially not with a sprained ankle.  
Ara... Ara was not happy at all. She'd been so angry with you she'd started crying. She tried twisting your mind to think that you were the one hurting her, not that she was the one keeping you trapped in a room far away from pretty much everything you knew. She beat the every loving shit out of you after she was done yelling at you. Your already sprained ankle had been stepped on multiple times, like she'd been trying to break it, but its held fast and your ankle wasn't injured any further. The rest of your body, you can't say the same for. She split your lip with a few punches to the face, and there was a bruise on your cheekbone. Your neck had handprints around it. You almost wished she'd squeezed tighter and killed you, and you told her. A few of your ribs were cracked after that. Your shoulder had been dislocated, and you were covered in bruises.

Currently, you were playing Tomb Raiders. Fun? Eh. You didn't really know what you were doing, so you can't really rate it. Ara had just left after forcing you to eat lasagna. You were waiting for the sedatives to kick in.  
They didn't, and you heard a lot of laughing from downstairs. Lots of men. Ara. Her father wasn't home. She was having some sort of party. With more men than women. If you could take a bet, you'd guess that she was the only lady there. Hopefully, she didn't bring you down.

Your prayers were answered. But then you got payback.  
You could hear them in the room next to yours. You could hear the guy fucking Ara. You could hear there moans. You could hear the bed creaking. You lacked suitable headphones to block out the noises.

Didn't Ara promise this wouldn't happen? That she wouldn't screw anybody except you? Yet here she was, breaking her word in the room next to yours. You hated it here, yet, that small part of you that still clung to Ara, the weak part, loved it. Which was exactly why you were crying. That small part of you felt betrayed. You felt like everything was wrong. You felt like it was your fault. Maybe it was. Maybe you were incompetent. Maybe... no matter how much she said she loved you, she felt that you weren't enough for her.  
If it were a different situation, a different scenario where you weren't in a relationship with a skeleton and haunted b things that never happened, then maybe you would ask her about a poly-relationship. You wouldn't mind it if that's what Papyrus wanted. Though you probably would get jealous of the third partner.  
But no. This wasn't some alternate universe where you're happy and in love. This is the universe where your suffering, where your sad and scared. It's the universe where your ex girlfriend is a yandere psycho that treats you like everything and nothing in the world. Right now, you were nothing. When she was force feeding you, you'd been nothing to her then.  
Today you weren't anybody to her. Tonight... Would be perfect. You just needed to wait till she was officially asleep, or just not coming in here.

You heard her cum, and the tears on your face fell to the floor. You heard him cum, and you wanted to chop his dick off.  
How could they be having so much fun and enjoyment when you were trapped here and had to listen to then moan each others name as he ran his dick into her pussy. Ara was probably smirking her pretty little face off thinking about you.  
The bed stopped creaking. You slid the screwdriver up your sleeve. Why? No idea. You had a small bag full of the snacks and stuff from the fridge. You were wearing combat boots, cargo pants, and a tank too underneath a long sleeve decorative hoodie. Yea, you'd be freezing, and your weak body probably wouldn't make it 1/4 the way before powering down.

Five minutes.  
You'd wait five minutes.

The wait ended when you heard the door handle jingle. A very drunk Ara stumbled in, hanging off of.... Holy shit. That is your senior year's quarterback, Jeremiah Jensen. She was fucking the one dipshit who always made fun of you because of your highly did functional family, and your nerdiness. Ara pulled him down into a kiss and you gagged. He pulled away and looked at you.  
"Ary... Who's the chick?" He said. He sounded about as drunk as she did. Ara giggled. "Tha's Riley. You remember her? She was in your senior class. She's ma' gurlfriend."  
You scoffed in disgust and turned back to your game. He growled. "Wouldn't Ara's girl no manners when talking to her superiors.?"  
"Superiors?" You snickered. "I haven't seen you for years dipshit. You're not my superior."  
Ara glared at you and then slapped you. "Riley. Be nice to him."  
"Oh. So you are cheating on me. Great. Good to know where I stand."  
Her eyes widened. "Babe? What? No! I wouldn't do that to you!" Liar.  
You got up and walked over to the window. It was dark out. There were still a bunch of cards, and lights from the lower floor crossed the lawn. Your bag was carefully balanced on top of the bars.  
A masculine hand touched your shoulder. You spun around, knocking his hand off your shoulder.  
You tripped backwards over the windows edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy thanksgiving to all my student friends. I hope we have a lovely break


	45. RUN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look at that, you got out, and are driven entirely by adrenaline and determknation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy thanksgiving guys, even though its barely midnight here.

A masculine hand touched your shoulder. You spun around, knocking his hand off your shoulder.  
You tripped backwards over the windows edge.

The bars didn't cushion your fall. But they did stop you from falling into the bushes. You rolled off of them and into the snow pile, grabbed your bag off the ground, and started running towards the gate. There was shouting, but you didn't pay it any mind. You didn't even really notice the pain from your cracked ribs and sprained ankle.  
The gates were almost closed.  
You slipped between them and threw the screw driver in the gears as it shut. The gears tried to reverse their direction to open the gate again, but the screwdriver stopped them and somewhere in the mechanism, a fire started.   
You kept running, leaving it all behind.

 

You don't know how long you ran. You don't know how far. You don't even know where the fuck you are. You were freezing. Your feet hurt. The exposed pieces of skin, like your hands, were numb. The sky was dark, and stars beamed down at you, twinkling in what you wished to imagination was congratulations and encouragement to keep going. You had to keep going. The bag of food on your back felt heavy. It couldn't have weighed more than the average purse though.  
You should stop and eat.  
But what if they caught up?  
You needed to keep going. You could eat when there was adequate coverage that you could hide in.  
The night went on and you didn't stop until the sun peaked over the horizon behind you. You were going west. West was good. The sun sets in the west. The sun sets over the ocean. You think you can smell the salt, but you can't be that close to the ocean. You can't see Mt. Ebbot yet.  
You tripped and tumbled into the snow. You could hardly feel anything anymore. You weren't shivering. You sat up and mumbly opened the bag, pulling out a Gatorade and a bag of chips. You downed them both as quickly as you could.  
You were tired.  
What if you just laid down?  
No.  
You can't.  
They would catch up.  
You had to keep going.

*You are filled with DETERMINATION.

You pushed your self onto shaky feet and slung the bag over your shoulders again. Looking up, you could see the road you've been running on reach towards the horizon.   
You would make it.  
You started running again. The snow broke beneath your feet. You couldn't feel the cold through your boots. 

You almost fell a few times, but managed to right yourself before you hit the ground. If you fell now, you probably wouldn't be able to will yourself to get up. You could hear a car behind you, you tried to push yourself faster.  
You hoped it wasn't them.  
The car passed you. It was a dark blue truck actually. There was a person in the passenger seat.  
You tripped over yourself and failed to right yourself. Your shoulder hit the ground and you hissed in... that didn't hurt. Why did you hiss in pain if it didn't hurt. The snow was cold against your face. You couldn't pick yourself up.  
Footsteps.   
"Hey, are you okay?" A masculine voice said. The footsteps stopped next to you. You couldn't remember how to respond. Whoever it was knelt next to you, their hand resting on your shoulder. You flinched. They pulled away for a second. "'Ey buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you. Swear." The hand rested on your shoulder again, and they rolled you over.   
The sun was too bright, and you squinted. "Buddy, think you can stand?" You couldn't remember how to respond. You tried to get up.   
It's humiliating when you can't hold your own weight. The man who'd come over to you was a monster. A cat monster with gray fur. They reminded you of Cinnamon. You wanted to cry.  
The cat monster picked you up instead of letting you try again. He let out a low whistle as he walked back to the truck. "Sheesh bud, you forget to eat or something?" He climbed into the truck, sliding you into the middle seat.  
The driver was a ferret monster, who took one look at you and them turned around to the back seat. Next thing you know, your being wrapped in blankets. The cat monster climbed in and shut the door, helping to buckle you in before the ferret started driving.  
"Y'know Max, its a good thing you're going to med school. I don't think I would've spotted that problem from a mile away." The ferret said as she drove. Problem? What problem? We're you the problem? "Their skin is blue Julia. It's not hard to figure out that it's hypothermia. She's also freezing to the touch and isn't shivering. Any non-hypothermic person would be shivering." Hypothermia? Makes sense.  
The cat monster turned to you. "Hey bud, how many fingers am I holding up?" Cats don't have disposable thumbs. He held up two fingers in a piece sign. "Two." It came out quieter and scratchier than you'd thought it would. He nodded. "Can you tell us your name?"  
"Riley Petrovich."  
Time seemed to stop for a second before you felt Julia floor the gas as Max dug through his pockets for his phone. He took another look at you, staring at your eyes, the tips of your hair before dialing a number on his phone. "Julia, keep her talking. It's better if she stays awake for a bit longer, till she's at least starting to shiver. Then she can sleep if she feels like it." He started talking on the phone. Julia started asking you simple questions.   
"What's your favorite color?"  
"Blue."  
"How many pets do you have?"  
"Two."  
"What are their names?"  
"Cinnamon and Rem."  
The questions kept coming as you felt feeling come back into your hands and feet. Then you asked a question.  
"Why were you guys all the way out here?" Max got off the phone.  
"Buddy, 'all the way out here' isn't that far. Unless you started hallucinating from lack of... Everything by the looks of it, you should've been able to see Mt. Ebbot. See? It's right there." He pointed. He was right. Mt. Ebbot had been in front of you the entire time, the ocean was just off to your right. At least... Now it was, Julia had drifted around a corner.  
You felt very wet, and you pulled the blankets off. Your clothes were soaked from melting snow that had frozen to them. "Sorry bud, if we had extra clothes I'd let you change." Max said, pulling the blankets back up and pulling them tighter. He wrapped his arm around you and started rubbing up and down your arm. You could feel it become less numb after a while.   
He smiled down at you as little shivers started running along your body. "You'll be alright bud." You felt tired. You frowned as your eyes closed, "You didn't tell me what you were doing out here...." You mumbled as you let the warmth you could feel fight with the cold still clinging to your body. It was like sleeping in bed in the winter without a mattress warmer without fleece sheets. You didn't want to sleep. You really didn't. What if this was a dream? A fantasy conjured by your sleeping mind. What if you hadn't gotten out? What would you do then?  
You were fighting a losing battle, and fell asleep to quiet music, and Mac telling you why they were out of town. Something about stargazing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for another chapter tonight. It'll be fluffy. Promise.
> 
> I was gonna say something else... Something about another fic i might start writing, but I don't remember what I was gonna say :P


	46. Yay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried punning again :P

You hurt. Everything hurt. Your ribs hurt. Your legs hurt. Your arms hurt. Your head hurts. The light behind your eyes hurt your eyes and your brain. Something was near the bend of your elbow. Your ankle was in a brace. There was a bandage on your face. All in all... The only thing you could efficiently move without feeling a dull pain, was your hands. One hand was preoccupied. It was being held by another, rougher, bonier hand. The other just laid by your side.  
The hand holding yours squeezed a bit and you felt the dips and grooves of the bones press closer to your fleshy hand. It took you a moment to process. And another minute to actually react.

You weren't at Ara's. you had no idea where you were but you weren't at her place. That hand didn't belong to her. Neither did whatever the duck you were wearing beneath the blankets. You'd gotten away. You'd jumped out the window and ran. You were FREE.

You sat up with a gasp as your eyes flew open. Your heart pounded in your chest. It felt like you'd awoken from a nightmare, which you had in a way. The hand holding yours tighten and you looked towards him. Papyrus. He looked surprised, probably from the way you'd sat up. His eyelights searched your face and tears filled your eyes. You reached out for him as you started crying, and he stood up from his chair and climbed onto the bed, pulling you too his chest.   
"Riley, dear Asgore I'm sorry. I should've been there. I'm sorry. You're okay now though. You're back. You're here. You are alive." Everything that you used to say after a nightmare, for either of you, was repeated back to you. It was foreign to hear someone else say it, but it was a comfort.   
You were okay. You were back. You are alive.  
You realized how scared you'd been. Yea, you'd felt scared while there, but now, the full reality of what happened hit you.   
You'd been kidnapped, drugged, used, abused, and raped.  
All of it went through your head, every moment, every scene.   
You pressed closer to Papyrus, sobbing into his shoulder as his hand pet your head. He smelled of honey, cigarettes, and sleepless nights.  
You felt strange, magic wet tears drip onto your head. He was crying too. He kissed the top of your head before tucking it under his chin, his hand rubbing up and down your back. "Shhhh, it's okay. It's alllll okay. You're here, you're alive, you didn't die, you're not in a war, the kid didn't reset." He just started reassuring you of everything: you, him, the cats, resets are in the past.   
The nurse came in and started asking you questions, checking over injuries. "Are there any other injuries we may have missed?"  
You felt sassy, even with tears drying on your face. But you weren't in as much pain as you should had, and you were DONE with being drugged up. "Oh I don't know. It might help if you would stop pumping me full of painkillers." She looked at you with a face that pretty much said she's done this before. Then she left. Wow. Bitchy.  
Papyrus sat on the bed now, your hand still in his. He was watching you with his old curious gaze. "Yknow... The short hair looks better than long hair, maybe that's just because your hair is tangled and messy right now.... And the strawberry blonde is kinda cute too." He grinned. You rolled your eyes, even as a blush spread across your face. When had you become so sensitive to compliments? You were like a fucking blushing virgin.  
He started talking as you looked out the window. He talked about his job, apparently he's a massage therapist. He talked about Sans, and Grillby, and Chara, and Bunby and Barren, and literally everyone and everything else. Apparently, Papyrus had been searching for you since he realized you were missing, he started looking and doing detective work to figure out where you'd gone. He still hasn't figured it out yet. You'd tell him later, you didn't want to think about it right now.

 

He was sitting on the bed with you, you were leaning against his chest, and his arms were wrapped protectively around you. It felt nice. Better than Ara's possessive grip on you. You stared out the window. "Papy... What day is it?" You felt him look down at you. He let out a sad chuckle. "It's been four weeks since you disappeared...." You turned to look up at him, and he sighed. "I didn't really want to tell you, since you already don't really like the date but... It's 3:49 pm on Wednesday, December 6th."  
You nodded, and moved back to your previous position. It was your birthday. How ironic was that? It was like the universe loved you, just a tiny bit, but also had a very sick sense of humor. You'd gotten out of hell, and returned to heaven on your fucking birthday. You felt him shift behind you, on of his hands digging through his pocket.   
It came out in front of you, holding a small box, about the size of a ring box. It had a little silver bow on top of it. "Uhmm... Happy birthday... If you want. It would personally, make me very happy if you agreed, but you don't have to."  
You took the box and opened it. It may have been a ring box, but there was no ring. Just a set of keys. That's confusing. You turned to look up at him and ask him what he meant. You barely opened your mouth when he stopped you. "I want you to live with me." He said, his tone calm and serious. You blinked at him. "Its alright if you don't want to, but after everything that's happened in the last two months, you dying, and then getting kidnapped n stuff.... Tibia honest, it would make me feel really happy if you said yes." You looked back down at the key. It was a simple silver house key, yet it meant so much. You pulled it out of the ring box and closed your hand around it. You were too tired to actually say anything, so you turned around and hugged the skeleton, your hand gripping the key, and his shirt.   
You nodded. He sighed in relief.   
You felt his teeth against the top of your head. "It'd be a fibula if I said I wasn't releafed you said yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey fluffiness :)  
> I'm gonna need some ideas for the plot to move forward, cuz like, my next idea isn't supposed to happen for another few months in this thingy. :P


	47. Does anyone have a chapter title for this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your still in the hospital.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't regret yelling at the damn doctors to stop putting 5,000 tons of painkillers in you. You were in pain. More pain than you would have liked. Everything felt like it was on fire, your legs hurt like they'd been skinned and dunked in salt water. No, that's never happened to you, but that's how you imagined it felt. Your core was black and blue and hurt like hell. Your arms felt like jello and they were numbed, but also hurt like hell as it felt like they were being repeatedly stabbed by needles from being asleep. You also had a splitting headache and you didn't think you could open your eyes without feeling more pain from the lights above you.   
It was Thursday December 7th. Maybe somewhere around... Actually, forget trying to figure out what time it was. You scrunched your face in discomfort as you rolled over. The IV drip in your arm hurt and protested against your movement, but you didn't care. The hospital bed was hard to get comfortable in, and once you lost that perfect position, there was no getting it back.  
You heard the door open. You didn't look, but you hoped it was the doctor. "Hey dude, sorry I yelled at you earlier about this but... can you put in more painkillers? It hurts to move...." You said. You weren't expecting Alphys to respond. "Sorry bud, but I'm not authorized to do that."   
You sighed, "If you're here to ask questions about what happened, can we do it when it's not two days after I got out and when I'm not in the hospital?"  
"Surprise surprise. I'm not here for that."  
"Then what the hell are you hear for Lizardface?"  
"Well, you're in the hospital, and it was your birthday yesterday."  
"Who told you it was my birthday?"  
"Police records, and no you don't have anything bad on their, we just needed your profile to give people information about you so they can help us find you. What I am here for, is to give you a Happy Birthday Get Well card." You could hear her tail slide across the floor as she came closer. "And to say that I'm sorry we didn't find you, and you had to get out on your own."  
Awe how sweet. She placed the card on the side table and pat your shoulder. "Don't rush it. You've been through a lot. And.... There'll be more people here soon, if you're tired, I suggest pretending to be asleep when they come in." You snorted and nodded as you heard her head towards the door. "Sure thing Alph." The door closed and you pulled the blanket further around you, and tried to take her advice.

You got through three people; Sans, Undyne, and Barren. Sans brought you a get well card and some balloons. Undyne brought you some lavender flowers and set one by your head. Barren brought you some books, then he sat there for a good while. You don't know if he knew you were awake or not, but he just sat there. After him, you managed to fall into a dreamless sleep.  
The darkness wasn't welcoming and safe. It was cold and dark. You wished you would dream. Anything would be better than nothing, even a nightmare would be better than this. Nothing changed no matter how much you wished it would. The darkness just seemed to close in on you. It pressed in closer and you felt like you were starting to suffocate.  
Then it all stopped and the darkness seemed to explode away from you as t turned green. The green darkness was warm and welcoming. It was safe. You wouldn't mind it staying like this. Maybe forever? Nah. Just for now.

When you woke up again, you weren't in as much pain. Alphys probably told the doctors your request for more painkillers. You also didn't have a headache, and could actually open your eyes without instantaneous pain. Half the lights were off, and the sun was starting to set beyond the window. You sat up in the bed and stared out the window before looking around the rest of the room. There was a chair that hadn't been there before, there'd been more than three people in here at one point. The room smelled a little burnt, like how Grillby's smelled. He might've been here too. The side table had a bunch of stuff on it; cards, flowers, books, a thing of balloons, the box that had the key in it. The cards were all get well cards and things like that. Most of them read the same thing, or something similar. "Get well soon!" "Hope you recover!" All that glorious shit. You'd gotten a lot of cars when you'd been jumped in high school. You hated them. They were so fake.  
You stacked them all up and pushed them as far away from you as you could. Yea, you appreciated that they cared but you hated the cards. Next, you unhinged the balloons and let them float around your room. The balloons reminded you of what it was like to be free. To just float around and not be confined to one specific spot. To not be chained down by anything. You watched them float around as you smelt the books. They were brand fucking new and they smelled amazing.   
You looked away and opened the book and started reading by the fading light of the sun, and the lights that were on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I will eventually get the playlist of the songs in this fic together.  
> I also started another fic called Fallen Angel, dot worry, it won't interfere with how I update this one.  
> Does anybody have any fluffy ideas? Spoilers; she's out of the hospital next chapter.


	48. He's safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk about stuff

You're apartment didn't feel like home. You didn't feel safe in it. Guess it's a good thing you were moving out.   
Except for the fact that you'd get fined if you left before your lease was up. Which was about another two months. So, no point in packing, right? You didn't want to pay extra for leaving a place. Everything was so dusty. The cats were acting like they'd never been there before. Which makes sense since the entire apartment seems to have gotten a... Dimmer grayer look. It was depressing. Dreary. No amount of cleaning could cleanse it off the feeling.  
You weren't safe here.  
Every room has been soiled, even if it wasn't technically timeline. Before Chara had loaded after you died, this place had been broken into.  
Cinnamon had been locked in the bath tub and soaking wet. All of your pictures had been destroyed. Old pictures of you and Ara had been strung about your bedroom. Your bed had been flipped. Your closet and dresser, emptied. Outfits that you'd worn with Ara had been neatly laid out on the dresser. The guest room had been oddly untouched except for the torn up photos of you and Papyrus.

What if she was watching you again? Her henchmen in the city, tracking your every move, ready to break in and take you away again. What would happen then? What would Ara do to you?   
You didn't want to find out.  
But you were still starting to freak out anyways. The door to your bedroom creaked, and you spun away from the window. The light flicked on, Papyrus stood in the doorway. He was wearing a chemistry shirt and his hoodie was tosses on the bed.  
"I was gonna make a joke, but I don't think I'd get a good reaction." He said as he walked over. You stared at him. "Did you seriously take your hoodie off just to make a chemistry joke?" He shrugged, "It was worth a shot. Haven't seen you smile since you got out of the hospital."  
You turned back to the window, searching the streets for any sign of threat. There were none, for now. You closes the blinds and pulled the curtains, blocking out the cloudy sky. Papyrus was watching you, the old curious look of his, the one you hated, was on his face.  
"Don't look at me like that."  
He raised a bonebrow, "Like what?"  
"I don't know... You just keep looking at me like some sort of mystery to be solved. I don't like it."  
"Okay. I'll try."

You started changing into your pajamas, but he stopped you right when you were about to pull your pajama pants on. "What're those?" You looked at him, he was staring at your legs. You looked down at them. They were covered in scars. 675 scars from cuts for 675 resets. The other 371 were on your arms. You turned around and abandoned the pants, pulling out a pair of super short shorts that you sometimes used when it was too hot, and pulled them on. Papyrus was looking at you expectantly.  
He was sitting on the edge of the bed and you crawled to where the pillows were and sat there, your knees pulled to your chest. That didn't last long though, he wanted to see them, and to know why they were a thing. He pushed your legs down as he sat next to you, and traces the scars. "Why?" He said.  
You shrugged. "It was a way of keeping track." He looked at you. "I thought I was going insane when the resets started. So to prove to myself I wasn't, at the beginning, the very beginning of a reset, I would cut a line. There's some on my arms too... 'cause I ran out of space." He probably wanted to see your arms too, but you didn't feel like rolling up your sleeves. He started rubbing circles into the scars.  
"There's 1046 total cuts. For 1046 resets. My dad found out about them this run, because Alex found out and told him since I didn't exist in mom's world. Dad at least remembered I existed and tried, just a tiny bit, to connect. He tried to help; he got me a therapist and other shit." You shrugged. "Bunch of meds that didn't do anything because nothing was wrong. I wouldn't tell the therapist anything because I'd get sent to a mental hospital or something. She got really angry with me once, told me that bottling everything up was a bad idea, and could lead to me killing myself. Still wouldn't tell her anything.... And then Ara happened, and I sat in the therapists office bawling my eyes out for hours. She sat there and tried to comfort me, gave me lots of chocolates too."  
Papyrus was watching your face as he rubbed circles into your scars. His other arm snaked around your shoulder, and you were pulled closer to his chest. "Why did you feel the need to cut yourself though? Weren't there more efficient ways?"  
"Like what? Writing it down? That didn't work. The cuts stayed even when the world reset. It was easier than trying to remember what number I was on when I woke up. I could just count them. Nothing else saved. I couldn't think of a 'healthier' way."   
Papyrus nodded. You watched his hand as it moved farther down your leg. You wanted to ask what he was doing, but you didn't. He was a massage therapist right? He knew what he was doing. You just had to trust him. 

He smelled like honey and cigarette smoke when you pressed your face into his shoulder. He had insisted on seeing the ones on your arms after rubbing circles into all the ones on your legs. The ones on your arms were haphazard and ugly. Uneven and misplaced instead of planned uniform rows. He did the same thing to these ones as he did to your legs. And they hurt more.   
You reached out and grabbed his hand, stoping him. He looked at you, and you shook your head. He pulled you down so that you were laying down on the bed. His arm laid on your stomach, and you put your hand over his.  
He was a comforting weight around you. A weight that was nowhere near Ara's. Papyrus was safe. He was warm and comforting and there when you wanted him.   
"Tired already? You usually want to stay up and due something"  
You sighed and rolled so you were against his chest. "Even when you have everything you could possibly want, to keep you happy, sometimes, you have no incentive to touch it. I spent most my time sleeping, except for when I actually felt like playing or something. And then Ara was there. I couldn't let myself be still around her, she could take advantage of it like she had before." He nodded and tucked your head under his chin.   
"Alright. Good night." You tangled your hands with his shirt. His hand came up and pet your head. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy ideas friends???


	49. How did aliens get in this...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking aliens man wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was completely freeformed and a filler chapter. Spoilers for ch52 (I think? Haven't written them yet lol) ahead. Beware.

The cops wanted to know everything, but you could only stand so many questions at one time. You don't even remember half of them  
"Who kidnapped you?"  
"My ex."  
"His name?"  
"Her. Ara Crimson."  
"Where were you held?"  
"In a room in a mansion."  
"Did your kidnapper do anything to you?"  
"Who are you kidding? Kidnappers don't do shit to their prisoners Boss."  
"As a matter of fact, they do. She drugged me, beat me, and raped me. So fuck you for thinking kidnappers don't do shit to their prisoners. They can do whatever the fuck they want."  
"Jeez. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you."  
"Do you people have any more questions?"  
"Only one Ms. Petrovich. How did you get out if she didn't willingly let you?"  
"Someone dude installing a mini fridge took pity on me and left a screwdriver. Used that to break the tape on the windows, unscrew the bars outside the windows, and break the gate. Now if that's all, get the fuck out. I don't need any dipshits who think its my fault I got kidnapped to be in here." You glared pointedly at the other cop, amateur cop. He rolled his eyes and the two cops left. You locked the door behind them and sighed. So many questions and a dickbag of a cop. Yay. Cinnamon rubbed up against your leg and meowed.   
"I know buddy. Some cops are bastards." You chuckled as you picked him up. He nuzzled your face with an open mouthed purr. He continued to nuzzle your face and neck as you went and sat back down on the couch. Rem crawled into your lap, and you turned on the tv.  
This almost felt normal, and not like you were planning a runaway move like you did in highschool. At least then, you'd had nothing to lose. This time? You've got a lot. Like a boyfriend that actually gave a damn and was not psychotic, and a high paying job, and friends and cats. But would you rather willingly leave all of that? Or get it taken from you by someone you can hide from? You'd rather do it willingly right? You can still keep in contact, you could even bring your cats with you.   
The hard part is, could you do that to your friends? Could you up and disappear off the face of the earth without telling them, and not feel guilty? Probably not. But if Ara ever came back to town, you don't think you'd have a choice, especially if you don't want people getting hurt. And you don't so, no real choice there. You had a month to actually make up your mind about doing it. This could wait.  
A documentary about aliens was on the history channel, so you sat there and watched that. What else would you do? You didn't have work, you didn't have plans, you didn't have any real incentive to get up.  
Your phone started blinking on the counter. It was on silent.  
Aliens helped build Stonehenge and the Easter Island head things and the pyramids and all the great mysteries of man. That's not what you believed, but that's what these alien fanatics were telling you. Something weird happens? Aliens. Unsolved mystery? Aliens. Weird sculptures? Aliens. Strange language on a sheet of a paper on your coffee table? Aliens.   
Wait what?  
Strange language on a piece of paper on your coffee table. What the hell. Looked like some weird ass hieroglyphic Egyptian magic tome shit. You looked at the paper and tried to figure out if it was some sort of text or whatever. Looked printed. Like off of a computer type of print.   
Do you care? Not really. It was probably just the aliens this dude keeps talking about. You tossed the paper back onto the coffee table. Maybe aliens were trying to warn you that they were going to abduct you. That sounded like fun. Maybe they could abduct Ara and torture her medieval style. Or enslave her. Or something to just keep her off the planet, or at least make her leave you the fuck alone.

You don't know how long it took you, but you eventually fell asleep to the boring sound of some dude talking about aliens.  
Fuckin aliens man. They do crazy shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So completely freeform....   
> Thinking about spontaneously moving out of town without telling anyone  
> Where the hell did wing dings come from how the shit did that get here  
> And what's with the documentaries on aliens in this fanfic? Wtf yo.
> 
> Anyways, still lookin for suggestions on fluffy filler chapters. Comment any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes.  
> Love you guys.


	50. Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to put here :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, theres some smut in this chapter because I felt like it. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, theres a warning in parenthesis right before it, sorry its not bolted or anything, I don't have HTML on my iPod. You can read it if you want, I just don't promise it to be good.

You slept on the couch. It wasn't your couch. It was Papyrus'. He was at work, so was Sans. You didn't have class since it was still Christmas break (for you at least. Since you've got a plan, you're not going to take classes on campus. You'll be taking them online). You didn't have work till 10, so no point in heading over, it was barely noon.   
You slept on the couch. It was a comfortable couch, and smelled like home. Rem and Cinnamon were running around getting their fur everywhere, including in your mouth. You pretty much lived here now, besides the fact that 90% of your stuff is still at your apartment.   
The blanket on the back of the couch was your source of warmth as you slept. One of the throw pillows was your pillow. The lumpy couch was comfortable in a confusing sort of way. Home smelled like honey, tacos, and cleaning supplies now. 

The door opened and Sans came in, quietly for once. He trotted into the living room and looked at your 'sleeping' form. He smiled and came a little closer, moving your hair out of your face. It almost seemed a bit brotherly.... "I can see why Papy wants to protect you...." He mumbled as he swapped the throw pillow you were using for an actual pillow that had been hidden in a drawer under the couch. He rubbed your arm a bit before leaving and going to the kitchen. The sound of pots and pans echoed from the kitchen after a few minutes, as did the smell and sound of food. You decided to get up.  
Your back popped as you stretched. The carpet was soft under your feet as you got up and walked towards the kitchen, carpet turning to cold tile beneath you. "Hey Sans," you said tiredly. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. "Good evening Riley. Have a good nap?" He was quieter than usual, which you were thankful for as a headache started to form behind your eyes. You shrugged. "About a good a nap as one can manage I guess." You had imprints from your clothes and the blanket on your arms, that was usually a good sign you slept good.  
You hopped onto the counter and watched him cook. Chicken with green beens and potatoes. It smelled good. "How was your day?" You asked the skeleton. He looked up at you before down at the food.  
"It was alright. There were some angry customers that weren't pleasant company."  
"Where do you work?"  
"Muffet's bakery and diner."  
"Oh. I think Papyrus took me there once. Spider place?"  
He chuckled and nodded. "Yes he did, and yea, spiders."  
"Why were the customers angry?"  
"He was drunk... Like usual. Muffet has banned him before, but he keeps coming in anyways. He gets angry when we don't refill his beer."   
You nodded. That stuff happens at where Bunby works. She worked at a restaurant too.  
Sans continued talking about his day as he cooked. Then he stopped and stood there for a minute after draining the green beans. "Sans? Is something wrong?"  
"...You haven't unpacked any of your stuff yet...."  
"Yea, well, I don't technically live here yet."  
"But you practically do, and you're going to, you accepted Papy's key.... Yet... you haven't pulled any of the boxes out of your car. You haven't unpacked anything that has been moved here.... Do you not want to live here?" He looked up at you with sad searching eyes. It almost made you rethink your idea about moving cities.  
"Sans, of course I want to live here, I wouldn't have taken the key if I didn't. I just..." You tried to think of a good excuse. "Need time to figure out where everything will go. Yknow, feng shui and stuff. Got have it perfect." That seemed to satisfy him, and he nodded. "Of course." And then he didn't seems satisfied. "Yknow... Papyrus is worried about that too.... He wants you to be okay you know. He wants you to be happy, and-and safe. He wants to protect you. Yes he knows you can fend for yourself, but he says that there's 'other stuff' to protect you from, and that sometimes you can't do it on your own.... He also thinks you're planning something... something he doesn't think will be uhh... Okay? I think? Like, I think he thinks you're thinking about doing something stupid."  
Well... He wasn't entirely wrong. Uprooting your life here was a stupid idea. Doesn't mean your probably not gonna do it.  
"Well, I think he has nothing to worry about because that's not the case. If I was planning something, I'd probably talk to him beforehand." Liar. You're a filthy fucking liar. You haven't talked to him about leaving at all. You have hardly told him anything that's been on your mind since you got out of the hospital. You haven't talked to anybody about that.  
And the date that you planned, the day your lease on your apartment is up, is coming fast. It's a little over two weeks away. Nine days before Valentines day... you're a terrible girlfriend.  
Sans nodded. "Yea. My dating manual says that communication is very important in a relationship. You should talk to him about what's on your mind more. He can see that there's more going on in your head than you let on."  
"Since when did you get so smart?" You said with a grin as his face turned blue.   
"I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SMART THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!" He said. He was back to his usual volume, and you giggled.  
Papyrus appeared at the kitchen table. He looked tired as he flexed his hands and came over to wash them in the sink. "HOW WAS YOUR DAY BROTHER?" Sans said. Papyrus smiled. "It was alright. How about yours bro?"   
"MINE WAS ALRIGHT AS WELL."  
Papyrus turned to you. "And what about yours, Little Miss?"  
You mock gasped. "Little Miss!? Why I am perfectly grown young man. There is no reason to call me 'Little Miss!' I am not your sibling! I am your girlfriend!" You said all of that in a thick English accent, and dissolved into giggles afterwards as he came over and kissed you on the cheek. "My day was fine. Didn't really do much besides sleep. Don't really want to go to work though."  
You were off the counter and standing toe-to-toe with Papyrus. Your chin was resting on his chest as you looked up at him. His arms were wrapped around you, and yours were around his ribcage. "It's Tuesday Riles, you don't /have/ work today."   
You blinked at him as he looked down at you with a raised bonebrow. "Oh... I thought it was Wednesday...." He rolled his eyes and chuckled, shaking his head. "Nope, it's Tuesday."

Sans played the food, and you took yours too the couch, as did the others. Sans put in "Spirited Away" while you and Papyrus got settled. You were sitting against the armrest with your legs in his lap. You ate and watched the movie with half-interest. You were more of a "Howl's Moving Castle" fan than "Spirited Away."  
Food was finished, and you shifted into Papyrus' lap. You saw Sans side eye the two of you with a smile. Pap wrapped his arms around you, and held you close to his chest. You could hear his soul. It beat loudly against his ribcage as you moved your ear closer. It was like a heart beat, with a different beat.  
You wondered what it looked like, then you wondered what yours would look like. He said that you were a perseverant soul... so purple? Too bad you hadn't payed attention to the documentaries on tv, they probably would've helped you.  
You payed more attention to the way his soul beat than you did to the movie. His hand combed through your hair. You still had to cut it, and redye it. The strawberry blonde was starting to make you think you looked like your mother. You hated that.

The movie came to an end, and you barely caught the last bit. You went up to Papyrus' room and changed into your pajamas as he read Sans his bedtime story. You stared at your star nebula tattoo while you waited for him to finish. The bed was comfortable beneath you. You tried to count the cuts covered up by the tattoo. It was hard, they blended in with the shading and the art itself. It almost made you glad you could hardly find the ones on your arms unless you tried real hard.  
Papyrus came in and shut the door, turning off the lights too before he took off his hoodie and slipped in next to you.   
He is very cuddly today....  
His hand interlaced with the one you were looking at, and he kissed the palm. His kisses always tingled afterward... like magic. It was odd, but cool at the same time. Kissing him was always fun, his tongue was different than a humans. It was smoother, longer. It's also orange.  
You turned your hand around in his and traced your thumb over his knuckles. He was watching you, though it wasn't with that curious worried look. It was more a look of love. You smiled at him and rolled onto your side, facing him. "I love you." You said quietly. His grin stretched farther across his face. "I love you too." He kissed you, short and sweet. You wanted more....

(If you don't want to read smut, skip to the next block of parenthesis like this.)

You leaned up and kissed him. "I love you." You said again. He kissed you again, longer, but still sweet. You still wanted more.  
You reached up and kissed him again, your hand running up his ribs. You felt his tongue swipe across your lips. The path tingled, you let him in, and his tongue tangled with yours. The magic tingled in your mouth and you wondered if other things would have the same feeling.  
He pushed you onto your back and moved on top you. You could feel his pelvis resting against yours. Your hands slipped under his shirt and you scraped your nails up his ribs.   
The shirt was lost somewhere in the room when he broke the kiss. He trailed mini kisses from your mouth to your neck before pausing. His heavy breathing tickling your skin. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asked quietly. You nodded and whispered a small "Yes."   
His mouth latched onto your neck as one of his hands massaged your breast through your shirt. Your grip on one of his floating ribs tightened and he sucked in a breath around the hickey he was sucking into your nape. His other hand rubbed your hip, and the sensitive skin on the inside of your hips.  
You keened as his teeth sunk into your neck. You weren't sure if it broke skin until he pulled away and slid his tongue along the bite. You could feel the blood pooling in the punctures. The hand groping your breast pulled away and slipped under your pj shirt as he kissed you again. His tongue tangled with yours and he swallowed your cries as his hand found your boob and grabbed it, rolling the nipple in between his fingers.  
You could feel the bulge in his pants, and you were curious. Could he actually summon a dick like he does his tongue? If it was orange you were going to die. You rolled your hips up against his, grinding against the bulge, and he let out a low growl. Your shirt was removed and he started trailing love bites and hickeys down your chest. He sucked, and bit, and nipped at one of your nipples as his hand worked on your other. You'd always wondered how women found this arousing, since Ara never did this, now you know. It sent electrical shivers down your spine and to your sex.   
You were trying to keep it down. Didn't want to wake Sans up now did you? That would be very awkward and embarrassing if you woke him up and kept him awake with this. You've experienced it, its really fucking awkward.   
You gasped and arched your back as he tugged on the nipple with his teeth. Then he let go, and went lower, leaving love bites and hickeys as he went, his hands worked on removing your sleep shorts and underwear.   
Your pretty sure he's done this before as his tongue dipped into your entrance. You were so damn wet, and it'd only been a few minutes. You gasped as he licked your slit and clit. His eyes were on you, sparkling white pupils, one was beginning to turn orange.   
He ate you out. One of your hands gripped the bedsheet, the other pushed into his skull, urging him on.  
You whimpered as his tongue licked against your walls again. You begged for more and he looked at you, silently asking you if you were sure. You nodded and pleaded. You wanted him so badly. More than you'd ever wanted Ara, even when you were drugged.   
He undid his pants, and his cock came free. It was big and orange, and made of magic. His pants disappeared somewhere, and he crawled back up your body. He kissed the bite mark on your shoulder, you felt him line up with your hole. He leaned down and kissed you, you could taste yourself, sweet and salty, as he slowly pushed in. You felt your walls stretch to accommodate until he was fully seated. God damn you were so full.   
He pulled out and pressed back in with a groan. Holy shit why hadn't you fucked a guy sooner? He repeated the motion, and gradually got faster.   
You were having a hard time keeping quiet as his dick moved through you. You buried your face in his shoulder as your hands gripped his back ribs. He sucked a hickey over the bite mark as he moved.   
You felt so close, could feel it coiling in your abdomen. You tried to move up into him, pushing him further as you got closer. He mumbled into your shoulder, something that you didn't quite catch.  
And then he was coming, groaning into your shoulder. The feeling of his seed inside you pushed you over the edge with a low moan.  
He pulled out, and you realized neither of you had thought about condoms....

(Actual smut part is over now.)

He chuckled when you brought up the question about condoms. He shook his head. "Monster sex is about consent. We'd both have to want a child for it to happen. So don't worry about it babe. You're not gonna get pregnant." He kissed your forehead after helping you clean up, and the two of you got back into bed (with the sheets changed). You snuggled against his chest, and he wrapped himself protectively around you.   
He pet your head until you fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you did happen to read the smut, tell me how it was in the comments :P  
> Two more chapters before I destroy everything you've come to recognize as "safe" in this story. 


	51. Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song credits go to Christina Augulera (I know I butchered her last name I'm sorry)

/You stood face to face with Ara. Her poisonous smile stretched across her face, and her blue eyes shined with glee. Her dress hung limp on her frame. There was no wind.... "Oh Ri, I finally found you. Lets go home." She said, still smiling. You couldn't actually tell if her mouth moved, if she moved at all, but the words filled the silence an she was closer than before. You shoulders felt heavy, like there was a bunch of equipment on your back.  
"I promise you'll be safe with me Ri. Lets go home." She said to you, coming closer again. Her dress fluttered and shimmered. It changed into a military uniform of your enemies. The insignia formed on her uniform as the empty space around you exploded. Quite literally. The Battle of Red Hills formed around you as a grenade exploded off to your left. You felt stronger, the weight on your holder felt lighter. She was right in front of you now.  
You punched her in the face.   
You could see the battle around you. You could see yourself fighting. But you also felt yourself there, right where you were as the you in the battle carried on. This was war. You were against your enemy. Ara was your enemy. She looked at you in shock as she recovered from the hit. "Riley...?" You punched her in the face again. Anger flashed in her eyes and she started fighting back. You dodged, and delivered punch after punch. You rolled to the side as she tried to kick you in the side. Your knife came into your hand, and you slashed at her as he came forward again. She started trying to fight again. You fought back. You cut and slashed and beat her down.   
She was on her knees, covered in bleeding cuts and her torn uniform. She looked up at you in fear. You felt GREAT. "Riley? Babe? Please... I'm sorry...." She begged. You pulled out a 9mm, and shot her through the head.

You were the other you in the fight, and you watched yourself shoot her. It was kind of like in an anime you saw. Everything turned black, you were white, Ara was red, and so was the blood that came out the back of her head, she fell backwards, dead./

It's a beautiful day outside, birds are signing, flowers are blooming, and people like you, shouldn't feel so damn happy about killing someone in a dream. You felt happy, and energized. You also felt the need to FIGHT. To just fight and not backdown. Good thing you knew someone who could help.  
You extracted yourself from Papyrus' hold, his fingers twitched. You went over to your suitcase and pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, ones that would be good for a day of exercise. Papyrus sat up and stretched with a yawn. "You were getting up without me? How could you?" He said jokingly. "I didn't want to get a-rested for inactivity today. I feel too energetic."  
"That's odd," he frowned. "Usually you are a groggy human being that needs coffee... What changed?"  
"I'm going to ignore the pun," you said as you changed your clothes. "And I still need coffee. But I had a rather good dream. Pretty satisfied with how hard I kicked Ara's ass." He blinked at you and raised a bonebrow. You shrugged, "It felt good, even if it was a dream. She deserves it anyways."  
He nodded and got up, slipping his hoodie on after grabbing it from the floor. The two of you left his room and went downstairs. You grabbed an apple from the kitchen and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm gonna go find Barren so I can fight him." I could feel his eyes follow as I walked out the door.  
Car? Or walk? Well... Car because you wanted to save energy, and because it was still cold. It was just pass the beginning of February, and the snow was melting. You got into your car, started the ignition, and pulled onto the road. It wasn't long before a black car was following you. Ara's henchmen. They've been following you everywhere for the last week. You felt that they were waiting to strike. 

You pulled up in front of Barren's work and went inside. Barren was lazily sitting on a mat scrolling through his phone. You quietly walked up to him and kicked his phone into the air, his head snapped up. The phone landed somewhere behind you and you smirked down at him. "Wanna fight?" He got up with a shrug. "Sure, I'm down."  
You didn't immediately go into fighting. First was a warmup with some exercises. Then a bit of boxing. After boxing, the two of you returned to the mat. He stood across from you. "Alright. Who's the person you hate most right now?"  
"Ara."  
"Your ex. Alright. That works. Now imagine me as her." You did so, and you snarled. She was ugly as an African American. He snickered, and someone at the edge of a map hit a gong and yelled "Fight!"   
You felt memories pushing at the surface of your mind, and you let them flow. Memories of Ara and how she used to treat you. How she used to care so much... until you realized you didn't. Your glare hardened, your hits became faster. You remembered a song on the radio on the way here.

Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true  
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up  
'Cause I've had enough  
You were there by my side, always down for the ride  
But your joy ride just came down in flames cause your greed sold me out in shame

You remembered how hard you fought to keep something that you thought was good even though everyone around you was telling you it wasn't and that you should let it go. But you didn't. And you walked in on her making out with some other guy. Someone that wasn't you. You were angry, but not at her. You were angry at yourself for being naive. You'd gone through reset after reset, never learning and going through the same torture over and over again.  
And then the war came and she didn't happen and you realized just how capable you were of taking care of yourself. Of fighting for yourself.

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that  
I hold resentment for you  
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong  
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know  
Just how capable I am to pull through  
So I want to say thank you  
Cause it  
'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

You wished you'd seem it coming. How she hurt you and betrayed you and turned against you and tortured you with lies that you thought were the truth. And now she wouldn't leave you alone and wouldn't stop coming after you. She kept trying to convince you it was you're fault.

Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing  
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I'd realize your game  
I heard you're goin' round playin', the victim now  
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame  
'Cause you dug your own grave  
After all of the fights and the lies cause you're wanting to haunt me  
But that won't work anymore, no more,  
It's over  
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture  
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down

You rolled to the side as he came forward to punch you. You kicked his feet out from under him.

So I want to say thank you  
Cause it  
'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

You honestly had thought she was the best thing since ramen. You thought she was amazing, that she was an angel. You thought she was so perfect, and like an innocent little flower. You hadn't thought that she would be capable of hurting someone so badly. You hadn't believed it at first, and not for a long time.

How could this man I thought I knew  
Turn out to be unjust so cruel  
Could only see the good in you  
Pretended not to know the truth  
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself  
Through living in denial  
But in the end you'll see  
You won't stop me  
I am a fighter and I  
I ain't goin' stop  
There is no turning back  
I've had enough  
'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

She came back and thought she could just start a new slate. She thought everything could go back to how it was. But it can't. You wouldn't let it.

You thought I would forget,  
But I remember  
'Cause I remember  
I remember  
You thought I would forget,  
But I remember  
'Cause I remember  
I remember

You were a fighter now. You weren't going to let her hurt you anymore. She was your war. You were going to win. She was your enemy. She was your target. You would fight back.

'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

Your foot met the back of Barren's knee and you brought him down to the ground, pinning him beneath you. He was panting hard, as were you. The dude who had hit the gong counted to three and then said that the match was over.   
"I win." You said as you rolled off of him. He rolled onto his back. "Haha yea, you did." He rubbed his jaw. "Damn, didn't know you knew karate." You laughed and sat up. "I don't actually." The two of you went to lunch and you bought desert.   
Ara's henchmen were still following you. A grin spread across your face as you thought about how bad Ara was going to react when she finds out you jumped towns, and that they'd lost you. You didn't have a set destination, you hadn't last time either. You were just going to floor the gas and GO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anybody ready for tomorrow's chapter??? 


	52. You left.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title bitches. Told you I'd ruin everything tonight

90 miles an hour down the free way at two in the morning. The windows were down, and the music was as loud as you could make it, "Like a Vampire" coming through the speakers. Rem was laying under the windshield, and Cinnamon was lazily laying on the floor of the passenger side where you'd made a blanket bed for the cats. You've been driving for three hours. You lost your pursuers roughly two hours ago when you'd merged into some traffic caused by a crash. Breaking free of it, you'd taken a left turn and slammed the gas. You haven't seen the cars since.   
Papyrus' hoodie smelled like honey and cigarette smoke. It hung loosely on your body, and it was warm and comfortable. It was easy to see why he liked it so much. You missed him, and tears gathered at the corners of your eyes as "I Do Adore" came up on pandora. You wished you were back at home and still curled against his chest like you had been before you left. You couldn't get through it and skipped around until you landed on "Horrible Kids." How would Papyrus take your completely random disappearance? You slowed down as you started looking for an exit. You needed to stop for gas, and a razor. 

Your hair was almost shoulder length, and a still strawberry blonde. The black hair dye was mixed in a small plastic bowl on the counter of the hotel bathroom. You cut off as much hair as you could before shaving the back and sides. The hair on top of your head was still long enough so that all of it could be pulled back into a small, short ponytail. You started putting in the dye, carefully, so that you didn't get it all over your scalp. 50 minutes later, you had soft fluffy black hair pulled back into its ponytail, and you were on the road again.

You still had no idea where you were going. You were just... going. Rem was curled on the floor with Cinnamon. You were starting to get tired. The hotel had just been for doing your hair and getting food, you hadn't even rented a room.   
As you pulled into a rest stop, occupied by only a few cars, your phone rang. Papyrus was calling, and you debated answering. It had already been hard leaving him like you did, would you be able to stand hearing him when you hadn't even figured out where you would go? Your finger hovered over the answer button, but then it ended. Your soul hurt.  
You stared at your phone for a minute before climbing into the backseat and laying down on your makeshift bed on the seats. The one reason you hated leather seats, was that they were so damn cold. Cinnamon came from the kitty bed on the floor, and curled up by your head. 

 

You woke up to the sound of your phone going off. You grabbed it and turned it on. You had 158 missed calls, 217 messages, 31 voicemails, and an incoming call from Bunby. You tiredly answered. "Yes...?"  
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?"  
"Jesus girl. Don't gotta yell in my ear."  
"Did... Riley Juniper Petrovich, did you just /wake up/?"  
You yawned. "Yup. Its like..." You checked the time. "5 am here. Sun isn't even up yet."  
"Where is 'here'?"   
"That's an excellent question because I have no idea."  
"Riley."  
"What? I'm serious. I don't know where I am, and I don't know where I'm going."  
"Then COME BACK. Your boyfriend has been freaking out for hours. Your friends are worried. Even Alex doesn't know what happened."  
You scratched your head and sighed. "Bunby, I left. And I personally think its for the better. My ex girlfriend was still watching me. The longer I stayed the more likely it felt that someone I cared about was going to get hurt."  
"Riley. You pretty much told me you had no plan."  
"I have a plan. I just don't have a destination."  
"What about a job? What about a home?"  
"I'll figure that out when I get there."  
"Riley, just come home."  
"You're starting to sound like my mother before I changed my number."  
"Then listen to me!"  
"I don't listen to my mother," you snickered. She sounded tired as she sighed. "Fine." She also sounded angry. "We could have helped you Riley. I don't know how many times I've told you that before. But you weren't on your own. You had us. And leaving like this, shows just how much you valued that." You tried to respond, but she hung up. There was another call coming in. Papyrus. You answered.   
"Hey babe."  
"Oh dear asgore, you're okay," he said on the otherside.  
"Yea. I'm fine.... Listen..." You didn't know how to put what was in your head into words.   
"Where are you?"  
"Somewhere."  
"Can I know?"  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"Ara could hurt you."  
"That's why you left?"  
"Yea."  
"Okay...."  
Silence. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know how to make him feel better. He sounded so sad and so tired. You regretted leaving, but you couldn't turn back now.  
"I love you...." He said. You smiled. "I love you too, Pap."   
You sat up and crawled into the driver's seat.  
"When are you gonna be back?"  
"I don't know.... Whenever I feel that Aa can't hurt me anymore."  
You started the engine as your phone connected to Bluetooth. His voice came through the speakers. "Why didn't you tell me? Or anybody for that matter?"  
"Because I felt that this was the right thing to do, and somebody would have talked me into staying, and someone would've gotten hurt because of me."  
"Nobody would have gotten hurt."  
"It's Ara. You don't know that."  
He sighed, you could hear the rustling of clothing. "How do you know she won't find you?"  
"A trick I learned last reset, a person who doesn't want to be found, is damn near impossible to find."  
"Okay... Be careful...." He sounded so sad....  
"Yea... I'll call you. Good bye."   
He said goodbye, and you hung up. The other calls and messages and voicemails could wait. 

You pulled out of the rest stop and back onto the freeway. The sun was beginning to rise in front of you. The gas was pushed harder, you sped up. The windows rolled down, and "Kill the Lights" blared from the speakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea go ahead kill me.   
> Don't know when you're going back :P  
> Also:  
> I've decided that this is like one of those book things where its all in one archive, and is all like   
> "Bleh bleh bleh" chapters 1-x   
> n stuff. So that's what's happening. This is the end of book one. Book two starts tomorrow.
> 
> Anyways!!! I love you guys and hope you enjoyed the chapter :) see you tomorrow


	53. Creative title

Okay yea... Maybe you should've had an actual plan instead of "I'll figure it out when I get there," when you left. It'd been two weeks. You were in a city called Bristel, otherwise known as the city of art. Bristel was exactly its title. There were murals and sculptures and all sorts of art things EVERYWHERE. There were music studios and dance studios and pretty much everything that has to do with arts.   
Yes, the place was amazing but... it was still winter, and you were living out of your car. You took showers at the gym, and waited for pretty much every hiring store to call you back about a job. The only place you hadn't been to yet was a small music shop. They were hiring, but you were really tired right now and didn't want to go apply right now. You were also busy looking for a place to live. Preferably a one bedroom apartment that allowed pets. Pretty simple right? No. They didn't have just a single bedroom, and you didn't want to spend that much money on a place you'd hopefully only be living in for a few months.   
You currently sat by a fountain in a park. The tiles of the fountain were elaborately painted with different designs. You thought they were cool. Your piano was in front of you, and you were playing music from memory. Whatever came to mind, whether it was a song with lyrics, or just an instrumental. You played it. You were doing this for some extra cash. Yea, you didn't really need it, but it felt good just to have a little extra on hand in case something went wrong. You'd accumulated about $50 over the past three hours, and you were pretty proud of yourself. A group of guys stopped in front of you and watched you play. One of them was talking to the other, the listener was nodding along. You really hoped they weren't planning to rape you or something, you didn't need to stab them, or anybody, anytime soon. You finished up the song, and the one who had been nodding to the talker took a step forward. You looked up at him, "You want me to play something?"  
He shook his head. "I was just wondering of you'd be interested in joining a band."  
"A band?"  
"Yea," he motioned to him and his friends. "Fostered Misfits. We recently lost our pianist, and are in the market."  
"Hmmm..." You looked between them. "What's the terms?"  
"You join out band, you get a job, and housing of you need it."  
Damn you needed it. You pretended to think. "Alright," you stuck out your hand. "RJ Petrovich, at your service." He shook your hand with a chuckle. "Nice to meet you RJ. I'm Jim, this is Gerald, Morison, and Harry." You nodded and shook their hands as well. You told Jim you'd take his offer on the housing, as long as they allowed pets (which they did). Soonest you could be in, was the end of the week (liar). 

You left the park after that, and went to your car. Rem and Cinnamon were sunbathing under the windshield. Your phone was blinking red, indicating it was close to dead.  
You tiredly grabbed some leftover chicken nuggets from a bag in the cooler, and you at them in the back seat. It was warm... And soft.... The hoodie still smelled like honey and cigarettes, a little bit duller than when you'd first taken it.

You fell asleep sitting up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short. Not feeling great. Swear ill get a longer chapter out tomorrow.


	54. Can't think of a title

"Hey, how are you?" Papyrus asked after you answered the phone.  
"I'm alright. Done living in my car. Got a place to live, and two jobs."  
"That's good. I was worried you'd freeze to death."  
"Eh, that wouldn't have happened. It's almost spring anyways. I would've been fine."  
"Can you tell me where you are?"  
"Haha. Not the city but-"  
"Just like, in general. I know you won't tell me where exactly you are."  
"Well... I'm sitting on a bench in a park. Its made of wood. There's a playground in front of it, and my friend's niece is playing groundees with the other kids."  
"Friends? Wow. You've got friends already, I'm impressed."  
"Haha asshole. They're the people in the band that I joined that led me to have a place to live, and job number one. They think I'm a guy"  
"Wow that's awesome. Job number two?"  
"That's the one at the music store down the road from this park. I finished my shift like an hour ago."  
"Okay. So kid on the playground?"  
"Yea. Friend's niece is on the playground playing groundees. Across the playground is a lake with an island in the middle of it. If the lake was still frozen over, I'd go across and explore, but it's not so I can't. Umm... There's a nice cream vendor walking the paths ringing his bell. Op, hold on, Ginny wants one."  
"You spoil children."  
"Shut up." You grinned and got up as Ginny ran up to you and have you puppy dog eyes. "Alright kid, I know. But keep this between you and me, your uncle would have my head if he knew how much I spoil you." She grinned and ran up to the nice cream bunny. You bought one for the both of you, and she ran back to the bench. You sat down next to her as she read her wrapper. You opened yours.  
*You're doing great! Keep going!  
You smiled. Good to know someone else thought so too. And then you remembered your phone.  
"Sorry about that... Kinda forgot about you for a minute."  
"Gasp! I'm so hurt!"  
"Hahaha, whatcha doin'?"  
"I'm eating cookies and milk."  
"What?! Without me? How could you!" You joked.  
"Hey, you're the one who left. Plus, you've eaten them without me before."  
"True."  
Ginny finished her nice cream and ran back to play with the other kids.  
"Oh yea... Uhh... Bunby says she needs to talk to you like, ASAP."  
"Why?"  
"Something about Barren?"  
"I swear, if she's angry at him for something stupid, I'm going to send him a baseball bat with a note that say 'Hit her.' on it."  
"Wow, violent much?"  
"He wouldn't do it. But I'd still send it." You snickered. Your phone buzzed in your hand, and you pulled it away from your ear. A text message.

jim  
March 23rd 20XX 3:46  
[hey. Remember we're performing tonight. Don't be late.]

[how could I be late? Ginny would hate missing her favorite uncles ban]

"Hey Pap. I gotta go. Gotta get the kid ready to go to a show. I love you."  
"Okay Riley. I love you too. Be safe."  
"I will. Bye."  
You hung up the phone, and called out for Ginny. She came running and stared up at you in excitement. "C'mon. Lets go get you cleaned up so you can go to to tonight's show." She squealed in excitement and started pulling you off in the direction of your car. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and you let her pull you with a grin on your face.

 

Your soul beat with the music as Morison sang. Your fingers danced along the black and white keys... They were actually white and black, since there's more white keys than black. You could feel the music through the floor, especially the drums and the base played by Jim and Gerald. "Keep the Wolves Away" was what you guys were playing now. It was a good song, perfect for someone in a rough time. It was also the last song of the night.  
You finished up the last few notes and the group started packing everything away as Morison gave his little exit thank you statement to the crowd. Your piano was easy to pack, and you waited for the others to finish. This wasn't really your type of bar. You were more accustomed to a monster filled bar. This place... didn't really accept monsters. You avoided it at all costs besides when you worked. 

Your room was nice. It had already been furnished with a bed and other things, so all you'd really needed to do was set your stuff where it went. Which was easy since you hadn't brought a lot. You were beginning to unpack the box that held all of your photos. The photo album was on top, and you decided to look through it. There were new ones, ones of you and Papyrus, or of you and Sans or some other monster friend. There were ones of you sitting behind your piano with headphones in as you wrote a song nobody would ever hear. There were some of you and Alex and his family.  
Then....  
You reached the part you'd forgotten existed.  
The part you wished you hadn't kept.  
Photos of you and Ara, you and your mother. There were baby photos of you sitting with your family. You hated them. Why hadn't you taken them out?  
You reached the last picture; you and your mother. She was kissing you on the cheek as you held up a ribbon. You don't remember what the ribbon was for, you just remember that you'd won it. Your soul hurt, tears started to form in your eyes. That had been when you still believed your mom loved you. That she was fucking proud of you.  
Then she changed. She became less happy, and proud. She forgot you were her child, focused on Alex. To this day, you still didn't understand why she'd changed. You didn't understand why she stopped loving you. And it hurt. There's supposed to be this deep connection with a mom and her child. When had that changed? A tear fell onto the cover sleeve.  
You started pulling out all of the photos that made you feel pain. Every one of them. Then you got up and left your room. The guys were eating dinner, and they looked at you. "Uhh... RJ? Are you..." Jim started. "No. Just don't. Do any of you have a lighter?" Morison nodded and pulled one out of his pocket, tossing it to you. You walked out of the house and down to the trashcan, you flipped back the lid, grabbed a photo and burned it.  
You did that for each and every photo, watching it turn to ash before grabbing the next. Footsteps behind you.  
"Hey dude, you okay?" Harry asked  
"Does it look like it?"  
"Well no but... I just figured you wouldn't be so open about crying 'n stuff, since most guys don't."  
"Well who says I'm a fucking guy?" You snapped, lighting another photo on fire. It burned your finger.  
"Uhh..."  
"Yea. I'm a fucking girl dumbass. And no, I'm not single."  
"Sorry.. We just kinda assumed..."  
"Yea. Because that's what EVERYONE DOES. Everyone assumes stuff about who you are. Everyone assumes your okay when you're fucking not. Everyone assumes shit, and nobody thinks twice about it until its staring them in the face that what they thought was WRONG. So yes. I'm a fucking girl dressed like a guy with a binder on. Now fuck off." You burned another photo, more tears streaming down your face. Harry stood there in silence, before he turned and walked away.  
You don't care what he does.  
Maybe you should take a ride?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the painfulness of that last bit :/ didn't mean to let how I feel rn slip in


	55. Sick day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grape-tasting shit they called medicine.

March. It was one of your favorite months. Rain started to move in and coat the world in a layer of water. The world gained a new smell. New life. Maybe if you'd been born in March, you'd be happier.  
There was also a downside to the rains in March.... You usually walked around in them without a hoodie or umbrella, or any real protection from the pouring rain. So you got sick... A lot....  
You were currently sick, and your bed felt like heaven. You couldn't breath through your nose, but you didn't have a headache anymore. Your throat was sore as hell, but you also no longer had a fever. You were incredibly shaky and felt the need to sleep. Except for the fact that your roommates wouldn't fucking let you sleep unless you took the god damned medicine. And you were acting like a child. You were not going to take that disgusting grape-tasting shit they called medicine.  
You whined as Morison tried to get you to take it again. He was kind of like the father of the group, always taking care of everyone else, like he was now. "C'mon RJ. Just drink, it'll be over quickly and I'll let you go back to sleep, but you gotta take the medicine first."  
"Fuuuuuccckkk ooooofffffffffffffff." You whined. "And get that SHIT away from me."  
"RJ, be reasonable. Do you want to get better, or not?"  
"I'll be fine. Immune systems exist for a reason."  
"Yea, and the flu used to kill people."  
"And we evolved. So I'm not taking that crap."  
"RJ, take the fucking medicine."  
"Fucking make me Morison."  
He sighed. Then he left. 1 you. Morrison 0. You grinned and snuggled back into your blankets.  
Your victory was short lived when he came back. He was carrying something different, you could tell by the way he was walking. "RJ get up." The smell of food made you want to vomit.  
"Yea... How bout no. My body doesn't agree with the idea of food."  
"Jesus Christ just get up. It's not even real food. It's liquid."  
"Yea well, body doesn't agree with the smell."  
"Just sit up and eat."  
"Fine jackass."  
"Man your disagreeable when you're sick."  
You slowly sat up with a snicker. "Who isn't though?"  
"Harry."  
"Well Harry's weird."  
"Just eat your food." He said while handing you a mug of soup. You sipped at it as he stood there and watched. The soup tasted funny, like something that didn't belong was added. Morison grinned as you finished the weird tasting soup. "So that's how to get you to take your medicine eh?"  
You slowly turned to him with the most betrayed look you could manage, and he burst out laughing. "How could you do this to me Morison!? How could you!? You betrayed me!" You cried. He continued laughing as you pouted. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry." He said, and patted your head. "You can go back to sleep now." You snarled at him as he pat your head. He turned around and walked out the door, turning off the lights and leaving the door cracked. You laid down, and Cinnamon laid down by your head.  
You didn't have to wait long for sleep to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ive decided that, until I reach a certain number of chapters, I will be writing shorter chapters. You guys can decide the number of chapters you want, until I get to the lovely angst part that will (again) ruin everything.  
> Here are the amounts of chapters you can choose from:  
> A) 5  
> B) 8  
> C) 10  
> D) 14
> 
> (Really just any number between 5 and 14. Those above are just chapter numbers I have ideas for)


	56. I love you...

/You woke up to a hand on your shoulder. It was boney and comforting. You sleepily turned your head, blinking. "Hey," Papyrus said softly. "How ya feelin'?" His hand moved up to your forehead. "Meh," you mumbled. "Not as bad as before I went to sleep." He smiled, "Yea. You don't have a fever anymore." His hand brushed your hair away, and it rested on the pillow. He leaned over you, his arm supporting him so he didn't fall. You tiredly blinked up at him. He had this... loving look on his face... one that hasn't been directed at you by anyone for years. You almost wanted to cry, you could feel your eyes burning. His brow creased a bit in concern. "Hey, Ri, what's wrong?" He asked, still speaking softly. He pet your hair a bit, and you struggled not to cry. You shook your head, "I'm fine." He still looked concerned, and still had the loving look in his eyes, he nodded his head. "Okay." The blankets were pulled back and you shivered a bit. Pap slipped under after pulling off his hoodie. His arms wrapped around you, and held you close to his chest. You wrapped yours around his back, and pressed your face into his neck. "I love you." You whispered. He kissed the top of your head. "I love you too."/

You woke up alone, with tears running down your face. The bed felt cold and empty, and you felt lonely. You missed the nights you could cuddle with Papyrus. You missed when the two of you would whisper to each other, not wanting to disturb the silence more than you had too.   
It felt wrong being here. This wasn't where you belonged. So why were you here? Because you're a coward. Because you run from your problems. Because you're afraid.  
You choked on a sob, you could barely breath. Your nose was clogged with snot from being sick, and it was just getting worse as you cried. You grabbed a tissue from the box on the floor, and blew your nose. You coughed and threw the tissue away, rolling onto your back. You really shouldn't have left, but you've already made your decision. It may be wrong, but, even as painful as it was, you couldn't think of an alternate option. At least you hadn't cut off communication with everyone.  
You slipped your hand under your pillow, and pulled your phone out. The brightness hurt your eyes, and you couldn't change it since it was already at it's lowest setting. The messaging app was already open to Your conversation with Papyrus. You let your eyes adjust before you decided to call him.  
It rang as you sniffed and wiped your eyes. He was probably asleep by now, he wouldn't answer.  
Sometimes it's good to be wrong.  
"Hey Riley. Everything alright?" He sounded concerned. "Yea... Everything's fine. Just wanted to call and say that I miss you, and that I love you...." You rolled onto your side and tried to breath regularly. "Heh. I love and miss you too Ri...." You could hear the question before he even asked it. "Do you know when you're coming back?"  
You could barely hold back a sob. "I don't know Pap... I really don't. I shouldn't have left. It was a stupid idea." You were crying again, and he tried to console you. "Hey hey, Ri, it's okay, shhh babygirl, it's okay."  
"No it's not Paps. I'm a coward and I ran away because I was afraid something would happen to you if I didn't. I thought it'd be easier and I was wrong." You quietly sobbed. The tears on your face carved warm tracks across your face. You wished he was here right now. His hoodie didn't smell like him anymore, so that didn't help. "It's okay Ri. We all make mistakes. You can come back when you're ready."  
"But what if I'm never ready? What if I'm still afraid and I can't do it?"  
"Then I'll come get you."  
"You don't know where I am though."  
"I know."   
"I love you...." You whispered.  
"I love you too." He said. You could almost hear the smile in his voice, almost feel his arms around you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 out of 13 chapters done.


	57. Ginny drags you around the family reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much the title lol

Sometimes it's good to be wrong. Especially when it comes to thinking you're still going to be sick today. But hey! You're not! You could breath again! And Morison wasn't trying to make you drink that grape-tasting shit called medicine! Yay!  
It's also bad to be wrong, because today is the day...  
That you're dragged to Morison's family reunion because you have nothing else to do and Ginny will be there. That was pretty much the only reason you didn't resist as much as you could have. Ginny was a little ray of sunshine and she fucking loved you. You weren't even actually apart of her family and she called you 'Auntie Riri.' You found it freaking adorable. Though you were a bit afraid to meet her parents... God only knows how much you've spoiled the little child.  
Another downside, is that there's so many people, and you have to say hello to EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF THEM. It was honestly going to be hell. You were terrible at names. Like seriously, even after two years, you still couldn't remember what Barren and Bunby's actually names were. You only remember Ginny's because she's a ray of sunshine, and gin is a type of alcohol and it tastes like gasoline on its own. You regret ever making the decision to try it. At least, an upside to this whole thing was that there was free delicious food, which Ginny kept giving you.

As of right now... you only remembered five names, out of the 20 people you've met. Carl, Francine, Jessie, Nick, and Philip. Those were the only ones you remember, mostly because they were all at the same time, and you shot Carl in the chest 13 times in the last reset.... Funny how things seem to come full circle. He seemed like a pretty nice guy too. Next up were Ginny's parents. You were a little less terrified to meet them.  
Their names were Liz and Frank. Liz was pregnant and had frizzy brown hair. Frank was a buff guy and was bald. They were nice, and never mentioned you spoiling the ever loving crap out of their daughter. You were about to ask if Frank's head ever got sunburned but then Ginny pulled you off in the direction of someone else she wanted you to meet.

You've been pulled around all over the place, and fed so many different types of food, that you were full and tired. Ginny said that there were a few more people she wanted you to meet, they just got here. Her hand wrapped around yours as much as she could manage, and she pulled you off towards the entrance.  
Then she led you around until she found... Alex? What? How was...?  
"Riley? Since when did you cut your hair like that?" He looked at you with a raised eyebrow, holding Marilyn on his hip. Heather latched onto your leg and looked up at you with a giggly smile. You shrugged at Alex. "Since I disappeared."  
"You pulled that stunt again?"  
"Not entirely. Ara was stalking me so I took myself off the map in hopes of not getting anyone hurt."  
"That may have been a bad idea."  
"Yea yea I know. Lets just hope nothing happens for a while."  
He sighed and shook his head. "I still think you're more of our mother than you like to admit." You rolled your eyes with a groan.  
Being satisfied that you knew them, Ginny took you by the hand and dragged you off again. She pulled you along until you were pushed into a seat next to Morison.  
"Soo... I think I'm related to you in some way." You said with a lazy drawl. He looked at you as he drank a beer. "Oh?"  
"Yea. Either one of my parents is connected to you, or my brother's wife Carrie is like, your cousin or something." He looked at you in confusion as he handed you a beer. "Your Carrie's husband's sister?" You nodded. "Then your my cousin, 'cause Alex is the son of my Aunt Rebecca, meaning your her daughter." He looked at you, and then raised an eyebrow at the disgusted look on your face. "That bitch isn't my god damned mother."  
"Alrighty then... I guess I can understand where you're coming from since she's a complete psycho."  
"At least someone agrees with me."  
"Heh, yea. Most the people here agree. You're actually lucky that she hasn't shown up."  
"Thank god for that." You snorted. You highly doubted that she'd even recognize you if the two of you ran into each other here. Ginny brought you a plate of little party sandwiches and climbed into your lap. Morison gave you another beer, and you were perfectly content to sit there until you absolutely had to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 out of 13 chapters  
> And I guess you're related to Morison....? Sure....


	58. The chapter in which the author managed to trick her girlfriend into thinking something in here actually happened (hint: it didnt :P)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs beer dreams crying music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is So Cold by Ben Cocks

Sometimes music just doesn't work for you. Especially when you've been demanded to write a song. Fucking Morison threw a pad of music paper at you and told you that you had three days to write a song. That's not how it worked! At least, that's not how it worked for you. Whenever you wrote something, you were an emotional little human being that somehow always managed to cry during it, even if it was happy. The last son you'd written was sad and you didn't feel like rewriting it. This was something that you felt had to be fresh, something new and completely sporadic. Only problem is that you suck at that.  
Solution to problem: alcohol bitches.  
Yea, sure you didn't really care for the stuff. But brown liquor tended to make you a very emotional person. And emotional is what equaled music with you. Plain and simple. Good thing about this plan is that you didn't even have to come up with it. Harry had decided to buy a bunch of beer for game/movie/wthf night. Wthf, in this place, stood for 'what the hell's fun.' In this current situation, what was fun, was watching some really dumb kids movie, and pointing out ALL of the adult jokes in it. You had the most right now, since it was Disney movies and you've watched them about a thousand times each. You've also had about three or four beers and are feeling very bubbly and happy. This could actually turn out pretty well.

 

You know, you gotta stop jinxing yourself. It's bad for your health. It also ruined most of the good feelings you had, and being mostly drunk made it worse.  
Jimmy had tossed a pack of Oreos at you. You'd been happy till you wondered what Papyrus was doing. Then you'd started crying. Because you're an emotional drunk that did something stupid and can't take it back without freaking out.  
First time you'd ever really connected with Papyrus, the two of you had sat around at a Wendy's and ate Oreos and milk. It had been your thing, to sit with him and eat Oreos and watch movies. But you'd ruined it by leaving.  
For the first time, that you can remember, you cried yourself to sleep.

/You walked up the pathway to his house. You were home, and happy. Sans had greeted you before he had to leave for work, and you were about to go surprise Papyrus. You felt excited, this was going to be great! You'd hardly been able to wait for this day.  
You walked into the house, and dropped your stuff off by the door. The stairs hardly creaked under you as you went upstairs to his bedroom door. You pushed it open....  
And froze.  
There was someone else in his bed with him.... There were clothes on the floor, his hoodie hung off his desk chair. You stood frozen in the doorway as the girl, a girl with black hair sat up in bed and stretched. Her chest and neck were covered in hickies and bite marks. You heard Papyrus mumble and saw his arm tighten around her. The girls head turned towards him, and she pet his skull.  
You could feel the tears running down your face when she looked up. Her electric blue eyes widening in what had to be fake shock. She gasped in surprise, and Papyrus groggily rolled over, his eye sockets widening as his eyelights focused on your form. "Riley...?" He asked hesitantly. You tried to hold back the sob that was stuck in your throat, but you couldn't. He sat up, and you could see the scratches on his ribs. She looked oh so fucking gleeful as he stood up. "Riley, listen I can explain." You backed away as he got closer, until your back hit the wall.  
This was supposed to be home.  
This wasn't supposed to be like high school.  
All you saw as the world seemed to shatter, was Ara's sick twisted grin.  
You fell through darkness./

You jerked awake with a strangled gasp, tears ran down your face in waves. The bed felt cold, and you felt alone. You felt like your heart had been torn out, torn apart, and stitched back together. The silence of your mostly dark room was only broken by your quiet sobs.  
He wouldn't really cheat on you would he? Especially not with Ara.... He wouldn't be that cruel. He promised he wouldn't hurt you....  
The paper Morison had thrown at you seemed to call your name. Your soul hurt. You were crying. You got up and walked over to your desk, turning on the lamp, picking up the pencil, and starting to write the lyrics as they came through your pain-clouded mind.

Oh, you can't hear me cry  
See my dreams all die  
From where you're standing  
On your own.  
It's so quiet here  
And I feel so cold  
This house no longer  
Feels like home.

Oh, when you told me you'd leave  
I felt like I couldn't breathe  
My aching body fell to the floor  
Then I called you at home  
You said that you weren't alone  
I should've known better  
Now it hurts much more.

You caused my heart to bleed and  
You still owe me a reason  
'Cause I can't figure out why...  
Why I'm alone and freezing  
While you're in the bed that she's in  
And I'm just left alone to cry

You caused my heart to bleed and  
You still owe me a reason  
'Cause I can't figure out why...

 

You couldn't really breath, and you couldn't see much either. It hurt to think that he could do that and you would never know. But he isn't the type to do that... is he? You don't think you know him as well as you think you do.  
You curled up in the chair and stared at the lyrics on the page as the tears streamed from your eyes and the dream replayed itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 out of 13


	59. Rubatosis

Rubatosis, the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat, whose tenuous muscular throbbing feels less like a metronome than a nervous ditty your heart is tapping to itself, the kind that people compulsively hum or sing while walking in complete darkness, as if to casually remind the outside world, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Rubatosis. Its a thing you have dealt with a lot. It freaked you out a bit, when you first noticed your own heartbeat. It wasn't like, beating to the feel of the music, or when you have a headache and it throbs in your temple. You'd just been laying in a park some place you didn't remember, when you'd pulled your high school stunt, and you started hearing... No, FEELING your heart beat in your chest. It was something you'd never noticed before, something that was just working on its own, it didn't need your guidance. But as you laid there in the grass of that park, you felt it. It was dull and muted for a few seconds, before it gradually became stronger. It was unsettling for a while, but you got used to it. It was just something you noticed now, something that was constant and kept you grounded.  
You remember, during the last reset, that after a battle, you'd check your pulse. It always beat against your fingers. Until the day you got shot, and you felt it slow down. You tried to remember if you ever actually felt it stop, but that would have been when you were dead, so probably not.  
Right now, you were alone in the house, half asleep on the couch, and listening to the sound of your own heart. It was odd how calming it was. Like a reminder that you were alive. You remember listening to Papyrus' soul beat when you slept with him. What if... the heart beat was an imitation of the way the soul beats? So you're actually feeling your soul beat and not your heart? Eh never mind. That's doesn't make sense. You started to slip further and further into the realm of dreams when you felt a piece of paper fucking form in your hand. You groggily blinked yourself awake to look at the piece of paper in your hand. Fucking aliens. There were a bunch of those weird symbols written on them, like the one from a few months ago, and all the others that have come after it. You haven't been able to figure it out, mainly because you've been too lazy. But you have been able to figure out one letter. The most commonly used letter in the alphabet: e. There were two variations, you assumed for lower and upper case. This one had two e's in it.

\----- --ee- ----- -----

A bunch of five letter words. Or some of them were punctuation. You don't really care, just add it to the pile.   
You shoved the paper in your pocket and laid on your side facing the couch. It was a brown couch and was very soft and comfortable. You closed your eyes, and drifted back to sleep.

/Static. All you could hear was static. Everything around you was black, and whatever floor you were standing on was black and squishy. It beat, like a heart.... You couldn't feel your own heartbeat.  
"Uhhhh.... Hello?" You said into the darkness. You didn't hear an echo. Didn't get a response.  
You were starting to feel scared.  
You tried to move forward, tried to walk, but your feet were stuck. The squishy black ground you were standing on, it was starting to pull you down. Or crawl up you...? You tried to pull yourself out, tried to free your feet from the weird black stuff. It was slimy, and goopy.  
You lost your balance while trying to get free, and fell on your back. The black stuff immediately latched onto you, started pulling you down, swallowing you. You were stuck. You were trapped. There was nothing you could do. Tears streamed down your face.   
You screamed.  
But nobody came./

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 out of 13  
> Rubatosis I actually very weird when you first realize it. I was sleeping on the floor of the art room, listening to how my heart beat when I got the inspiration for this chapter.   
> Yknow... I would put wingdings don't on here but I don't have wingdings on my iPod, and its not on Google docs.


	60. Chrysalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another obscure chapter because I'm waiting for rain when its winter :P

Chrysalism, the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

 

The ground was wet beneath your bare feet. Puddles of rain splashed as you jumped in them. This was probably why you got sick; walking around barefoot, and coatless during a rainstorm. It wasn't cold though, it was a warm rain and it made you feel happy. The earth smelled amazing when it was raining, rain smelled amazing.  
You walked up the front steps if your house, pulled your hairtie out, and shook the water out of your hair. It made you a little dizzy, and you stumbled in through the door with a really stupid smile. You were hit in the face by a towel, which made you laugh. "Thanks cous," you said as Morison rolled his eyes and walked away. You took the towel and started rubbing your hair dry as you dropped your shoes by the door and headed upstairs. You grabbed a pair of pajamas from your bedroom and went into the bathroom, stripping and getting into the shower. The water was warm, and you could hear the rain against the wall as you washed whatever chemicals got caught in the rain on it's way down.  
Gerald strummed his guitar. It was soft and soothing. Nothing like how he played on stage. It was also completely opposite of his personality. He was a really happy bubbly excitable guy, kinda like Bunby. Jim was more his opposite than it seemed. Jim, who was a drummer, was not extremely energetic and excitable, he was more laid back and chill. Harry was also a guitarist, and he was more like you than them. He was reserved and seemed to have this facade on. You didn't try to look underneath, it was none of your business.  
The soft sound of the guitar seemed to go perfectly with the sound of rain outside the window. Gerald sat on the couch, you sat on the window seat. The window was cold against your head, the cup of hot chocolate in your hand was the opposite, it was warm. You took a sip of the cocoa and closed your eyes, leaning back against the window, and just /listened/.  
It was calm and relaxing. You felt that you could just stay like this forever.  
Your phone vibrated in your pocket. Knock knock. Papyrus' pattern. You smiled and pulled it out.

papy the dragon  
March 29, 20XX 6:47  
[hey]

[hi]

[whats up]

[nothin really. just listening to the rain and gerald's guitar]

[ah]

[what about you?]

[waiting]

[for?]

[you...?]

[sorry]

[i love you]

[i love you too pap]

[good morning]

[good night]

You smiled and put your phone away. Alex said that Ara was back in Glenfall and wasn't being suspicious. Maybe you could go home soon....  
A piece of paper materialized in your hand. You've quit blaming aliens. The paper crinkles in your hand as you tighten your fist around it.  
Should you figure out what the hell they all say? Or at least figure out the typeface?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 out of 13  
> This is a few hours late because I fell asleep very early while trying to write and console my girlfriend on losing her paper. God I'm terrible  
> Love you guys and fucking good morning at 2:40am


	61. Uhhh Oreos and pussy????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dint fucking know what the fuck this shit is lol have fun

You still haven't figured out the typeface, and you haven't gotten another one in a while, so you've kinda just let it go. If there was another one, you'd look.  
Dreams of drowning in thick black goop have been more frequent. You don't like them. They're freaky. You don't like drowning in something you can't figure it out. You've been avoiding sleep. They're not something you want to see, like the nightmares with Ara and the war.  
Its the 5th of April. You're thinking about going home, back to Papyrus. Ara is still in Glenfall, and Alphys says that the black cars have disappeared. Bunby would be happy with you. She's finally gotten over you leaving and how that disregarded how they were there for you or whatever. She's having boy problems, and being the middle man between her and Barren was hard when you were so far away from them. 

 

The music store was mostly devoid of people. Nobody had been in for about 30 minutes. You're leaning against the counter, texting Bunby about her boy problem and how she should just go up and say something and stop being a baby about it. She was yelling at you to shut up. Heh. Now she knows how you felt when you were crushing on Papyrus.  
The door jingled and you glanced up. Blue robot monster dude with headphones, a jacket and a hat.... "Hey buddy, anything I can help you find?" You asked in your polite customer service voice. He looked around before looking at you. "I was wondering if I could talk to the manager about putting some music on the shelves." He said. His voice was smooth, nothing you imagined a robots voice to sound like.  
"Well, he's not here right now, but I can give him your number and he can call you when he gets the chance." You said with a smile. You had a feeling you've seen this guy around somewhere... maybe on a poster? He'd be a cool video game character or something. He nodded, "Yea, that'll work. And I got another question for you kid."  
For one, you're not a kid but whatever. "Okay? Ask away."  
"Your the human that used to play the piano by the fountain in the park right?"  
What an obscure question. "Yep. That's me. Why?"  
"Got a proposal for you," he was leaning on the counter. "Well, its more of an offer than a proposal."  
"Okay...?"  
"I'm runnin' a bar downtown and I kinda want some local musicians to play. You interested?"  
"Well I'm not necessarily local but uhh... sure... For a little while at least." Three jobs... You could do that. It'd just keep you busy. He grinned (robots can do that?), "Cool. I'm Napstaton by the way." He stuck out his hand, and you shook it. "RJ."

 

You SNEEZED. That's all you did. You sneezed and Morison immediately labeled you as sick and made you go to bed. Not that you're really complaining, it just seemed a bit stupid that all you had to do was sneeze and he'd freak out. Your bed is very nice and soft, and if you weren't texting Papyrus, you'd probably be asleep.

papy the dragon  
April 5th, 20XX 5:47  
[so... What you're telling me is that you're living with your extended family that you didn't know was your extended family until that family reunion? And he's forcing you to go to bed because you sneezed?]

[pretty much yea]

[why is he freaking out about you sneezing?]

[yknow how I like to walk around in the rain with no shoes/umbrella/jacket/etc?]

[yea]

[well, I got sick a few weeks ago in march for doing that]

[and he thinks that because you did it almost two weeks ago, you're sick?]

[something like that. not complaining tho. bed is amazing]

[lol]

[whatre you doing?]

[pretty much the same thing minus the whole family member freaking out about me being sick]

[fuck you]

[come back and I will]

You choked and started laughing. You hadn't been expecting that response.

[hmmmm  
maybe the end of the month?]

[what?]

[im thinkin the end of the month]

[waaaaaiiittt  
you're not shitting me  
right]

[no...?]

[so you're coming back in 25 days]

[roughly I think]

[YES  
OREOS AND PUSSY]

[excuse me? what? I'm confused... what does this have to do with Oreos and pussy?]

[ https://youtu.be/VE6lHJXcnV8 ]

You clicked on the link, watching the video, and damn near cried from laughter. It was so absurd and bizarre it made you laugh.

you  
April 5th, 20XX 5:58  
[so you like Oreos and pussy in that order?]

[fuckin shit don't say it like that that's weird]

[hey you fuckin yelled Oreos and pussy at me so don't get mad at me for using it in a damn sentence]

[lol]

[fuckin nerd]

[nerds are practitioners of their interests. proper terminology is geek. because they don't.]

[you are a practitioner of puns, sleeping, and quantum science shit. you're a nerd]

[shhhhhhh don't give it away]

Another piece of paper with the symbols on it appeared in your hand. They seemed to be hastily written... typed? They're messy.... You wonder if its urgent.  
Fucking aliens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 out of 13  
> Thinking about making it 10 because I'm impatient  
> Tell me if you agree in the comments
> 
> Credits to Bo Burnham for the left brain right brain experiment that my girlfriend insisted on having in a chapter


	62. Your asleep pretty much the entire time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title :P

The floor.  
The platform beneath the feet of humanity.  
The thing humans make so they don't walk around on dirt.  
Dirt.  
Mother nature's remedy for EVERYTHING.   
Dirt is alive.  
You are alive.   
And this floor,  
Is very comfy.  
Its more of a pile of dirt instead of a floor actually. Since you're, you know, in the middle of a park lying on your back and sleeping. Literally. That's all you're doing. You're just laying in sunshine beneath a big oak tree, and you're sleeping.   
If you were back in Ebbot, Bunby would probably be dragging you all over, telling you not to waste a perfectly good day sleeping.   
But you're still sleeping anyways because you're not in Ebbot.  
And you've been experiencing a serious lack of night-time sleepy-times. 'Cause like, you have three fucking jobs like a fucking dumbass. Two of them are at night on the weekdays, and the other one is from 12-5 every fucking day except Sunday because your boss is a devout Christian and goes to church on Sundays.   
So, obviously, since you were sleeping in a park in the middle of the day, its Sunday. The four guys you live with think your out doing something productive with your life, but you're not. You're sleeping. And even though, you have your headphones in, the call your getting is not getting through to your central nervous system that tells you to wake the fuck up and answer it.

 

It's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and people like you... are still sleeping in the park. Must be a pretty good map since you haven't moved a muscle besides the ones necessary for living and that are automatic and have nothing to do with you mentally telling them to function.   
Like the heart for instance. The cardiac muscle beats on it's own and circulates your blood and you don't have to think about it. Or your lungs. You don't know what type of muscles that entire thing is, but you usually don't have to think about using them unless you want to hold your breath or take deeper, slower breaths. But otherwise, in sleep, it functions on it's own.  
Now as for the matter of the spider crawling up your leg, you have no idea that's happening. So hopefully the damn thing isn't going to bite you. And if it does, hopefully its not poisonous. The chances of swallowing it depend on its course of action. Is it going to go towards your mouth and fall into the warm wet cavern and then get smushed down a muscle tube and into the stomach where it will die of being burned alive by acid? If it hadn't already died on the way down that is.  
There is also a cat sitting next to you and staring at you with it's huge blue eyes. If you were awake, you would pet the creature. But you're not. So it will have to settle for cuddling against your side and in the crook of your armpit. This action may attract the interest of other animals, but, so long as they don't try to kill you in anyway shape or form, you're fine with that. Cuddle with the wildlife. Perfectly normal for a young adult in their 20s to be cuddling with animals on the middle of the park.

 

You may have gotten a bit more sleep if Gerald hadn't found you. Gerald had gently shook you away with the tip of his toe, and watched patiently (you think) as you woke up and realized that there were three cats snuggling with you, there was a spider on your knee, and that you didn't have the heart (or courage) to move. Gerald laughed at you, and moved the spider off of you with a stick. Then he picked the cat on your chest, off your chest.  
If Jim didn't say no, you could very well end up with five cats. That was perfectly acceptable in your mind. You'd be the crazy cat lady, that was perfectly okay too.   
You picked the cats up and held them close to your chest, they were soft, and grimy. They could use a bath....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like 7 out of 10?  
> This chapte is trash


	63. You want to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been dragged out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerald doesn't get enough attention

Gerald has decided to drag you around on meaningless errands. Why? Because you've been sleeping a lot. And he thinks you should get up off your ass. Even though you work more than you should and you don't sleep enough. He's a nice guy, but sometimes he doesn't pay attention.  
You were currently sitting in his car as he ordered Wendy's through the drive thru. You were also complaining to Papyrus about it.

you  
April 10th, 20XX 11:38  
[i wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeep]

[then do it]

[i cant]

[why]

"Who you talking to Riles?" Gerald asked as he pulled up to the first window to pay. "My boyfriend. Who you talking to?"  
"You." You rolled your eyes.

[because I was abducted by my bandmate to go out and do pointless errands]

[then sleep in the car?]

[HE WON'T FUCKING LET ME]

[ah]

[whats up]

[sitting at muffets with sans cuz he's on his break]

[tell him I said hi?]

Gerald pulled up to the second window. "Where do you want to go to eat this?"  
"Home."  
"Nope. You're not sleeping."  
"But I haven't been sleeping!" You whined.  
"Liar." He snickered. "I saw you sleeping on the couch the other day."  
"That was a nap! I haven't been getting any actual sleep because of work!" Why was he being so difficult!? You weren't lying!  
"Just come on a few more errands and I'll let you go."

[he says that you should come back  
he might call you at some point]

[should I expect a lecture?]

[idk]

"Why though!" You asked the happy driver. He grinned. "'Cause!"  
"I swear to god if that's my only answer I'm gonna-." You stopped and looked at your phone as it buzzed.

[naw he just wants to say hi himself]

[lol ok  
HE STILL WON'T FUCKING LET ME SLEEP!!]

[walk home?]

"You're gonna what?" Gerald asked with a snicker.  
"Imma punch you in the nuts, that's what."  
"Please don't. I kinda need them."

[17 miles? thats a bit much by my standards]

[alphys agrees]

[hows the cop doin? been lookin for me?]

"No you don't," you snicker. "20 bucks says your still a virgin."

[she says she hasn't been but I say otherwise]

"Well you've lost that 20." He chuckled. "Says who?"  
"My boyfriend."  
You froze and looked at him. "Wait you're bi?" He laughed. "No Ri, I'm straight as a rainbow." You grinned. "Then why haven't I met your boyfriend!? I've lived with you for almost three months and I haven't so much as glimpsed him!"  
He grinned and drove out of the Wendy's parking lot. "You have actually. Remember Victor?" You again turned to him. "Dammit! My fucking gaydar is broken! I thought he had a girlfriend!" He grinned again. "Nope. We've been together for about a year." 

[my gaydar is broken. Ara might not actually be bi but a sadistic bitch]

[uhhhh what?]

[two of my friends are gay and dating]

[how do you always end up with people who have the hots for each other?  
like seriously  
barren is freaking out about how to ask bunby out]

[knew it  
so I shouldn't send the bat  
but a pack of condoms maybe?]

You looked up and had a brief heart attack thinking the black truck that passed by in front of you had been about to hit you. You stared ahead of you with wide eyes as you tried to calm down your heart and head. It hadn't hit you. You were fine.  
A slip of paper formed in your hand. It had the strange buzz of magic, something you hadn't noticed before now.

\--ea-- ---e- ---- ---e

You wonder what it says beyond the few letters you've figured out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8 out of 10  
> 2 more chapters lol


	64. A great man has fallen, and you walk in on a gay couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harlow died  
> You smoked  
> Tempted to judo flip  
> Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry Gerald and Victor.... We'll just go

You felt like you were going to vomit after watching the news. A retired veteran committed suicide last night. Its one you remembered from last reset. You hoped that he didn't remember last reset. Going through one war and constantly preparing for another, and being aware of it all, that's terrible. At least he was retired. But that was probably still a lot of stress on one's mind.  
You turned away from the living room and the tv, and walked out the front door. There were clouds over head. Everything seemed to have a gray tinge to it. It seemed right to you. A great man died last night. One you'd known in a different life. One you'd seen die in battle, one who'd fought alongside you. You felt the need to do something you hadn't done since the last reset. Smoke.  
You walked into the convenience store and bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. The clerk looked at you with something akin to pity. "You don't look like someone who smokes. I wouldn't suggest starting." She said. You snorted. "Like you'd know anything kid." You walked back out and walked a block before pulling one out and lighting it. It burned your lungs, and tasted disgusting. You don't remember why you'd ever found them appealing in the first place. Just from the taste, you could tell you wouldn't be able to smoke the entire pack willingly. You tossed it into the lap of a homeless dude sitting on the corner with a sign. He looked up at you as you walked past, you didn't look back.   
You walked into the park, and tossed the rest of your cigarette into the trash. There were some kids playing, but not many. It seemed so... muted and sad. Everything seemed gray. Would it be like this if you hadn't remembered Harlow? Would you feel so listless if you hadn't been under his command and fought alongside him?  
The sun tried to peek through the clouds, but it didn't seem to try hard enough. The clouds blocked out the sun again.

You damn near judo flipped the person that ran into you. If you hadn't known them. If you had, you probably would have. You should have anyways, because you remember this dude being an asshole.  
"Dude! Riley! Its been /forever/! How've you been?" Oliver asked. You stared at him. "I'm sorry, am I supposed to know you?" You asked with a straight face. It was easier to do this with an asshole than it was to your mother since you didn't really give a shit about him realizing you were lying. His face was still priceless anyways, and you were tempted to laugh. Serves the fucking captain of Ara's senior class football team right.   
"O-oh uhhh... Sorry.... I thought you were a friend mine's girlfriend...." He said with a nervous chuckle. He was still friends with Ara? Not surprising. You kept walking, he stayed where he had been, staring after you.  
You rounded a corner and snickered. What a dumbass. Oliver had been captain of the football team when you were a junior. He's also the one you'd walked in on having sex with Ara. 

 

There was one car in the driveway. Which was alright, you didn't really care. It was a black Nisan. Gerald's. Cool. You walked into the house and instantly felt awkward.  
Victor was here. The black haired Italian was currently sitting in Gerald's lap, and the two of them were having a very heated make out session. You stood there for a good minute or so, your face burning red, before slowly tiptoeing back the way you came as Victor's hands slipped under Gerald's shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9 OUT OF 10  
> ONE MORE CHAPTER OF ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT AND I CAN DESTROY EVERYTHING
> 
> Also, did anybody notice how in ch32 theres Fostered Misfits working at Grillby's, and then in 53, the band is Fostered Misfits? Just pointing it out cuz that may come in handy..........


	65. *you feel a sense of impending doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No not really. Not till the end of the chapter :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to redo this because I accidentally posted this on my other fic......

You woke up to the annoying beeping of your alarm. With a groan you knocked it off the bedside table, smiling when you heard it hit and break against the floor. Sitting up, you yawned. You felt mentally and emotionally exhausted, and it is probably because of your dream.  
Finally getting out of bed, you went about your boring routine of getting ready for the day. Shower, get dressed, brush your hair, etc. Once that was done you followed the smell of bacon downstairs. Jimmy was at the counter making your lunch since you wouldn't be home all day. You walked up next to him, grabbed a left over biscuit from yesterday, the peanut butter out of the cabinet, a butter knife from the drawer, and the cream cheese from the fridge. Combining the three ingredients into a peanut butter cream chews sandwich, you grabbed your now fully packed lunch from Jimmy, and left the kitchen.  
You shoved the sandwich into your mouth as you pulled on your boots and jacket. You swallowed the bite. "See you losers at the bar!" You yelled behind you as you walked out the door and towards your car. It was cloudy, a rather warm day too.  
April 29th. You had work all day. You were fine with that, since you didn't have work tomorrow, and could sleep the entire day (ah, glorious Sundays). You called Papyrus as you drove.

"Hey Ri." He said once he answered. You smiled. "Hey babe, how are ya?"  
"Tired." You could hear the smile in his voice. You could almost see his stupid grin. One more week, and you'd head back....  
"I'm not surprised."  
"Haha, yea... What's up?"  
"A full day of work."  
"Sounds boring."  
"I would agree," you chuckled.  
"Would? That implies that there's something stopping you from agreeing."  
"Well, I agree that it'll be boring, but all I have to do is sit behind a counter, and play my piano."  
"Oooh, boring and lazy eh? Didn't peg you for the type."  
"I get it from you."  
"But we're not related," he laughed through the phone. You smiled. "Yea, but I'm dating you, and I used to sit with you and do absolutely NOTHING for an entire day."  
"...dammit your right." He groaned.  
You pulled into the parking spot in front of the music shop. "Yup. Anyways. I love you Pap. Talk to you later."  
"Love you too Riles. See ya." You hung up and got out of your car. You grabbed your bag from the passenger seat and went inside. Plik, the dude who had the shift before you, looked up from where he was behind the counter. "Hey RJ. Have fun doing nothing." He said as he got up and left. You took his spot and pulled out your papers. Random song lyrics that came to your head, or notes for the piano.... You should try the guitar again, it had been kinda fun when you were stuck at Ara's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10/10!!! YAY!!  
> ILL BE SEEIN YA IN THE ANGST PIT TOMORROW


	66. Shitty day eh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey the title rhymes lol. Bout the only happy thing about this

You were crying.  
For no reason in particular really.  
You've just had an overly stressful day where you just can't seem to deal with anything. You've also had a really shitty week.  
Your boss was trying to force you to not quit, Napsta was sad you were leaving, Ginny threw a tantrum, and the band is kinda in this limbo position where everyone is kind of angry at each other. And it is literally all your fault. It felt like the time you'd gone ahead of your platoon to scope out the area, and came back to find them slaughtered and you were ten seconds too late. That was a really shitty feeling.  
You were currently driving aimlessly around the city while trying to calm down because you really can't deal with anything. You wished your phone was at more than 7% so that you could call and talk to Papyrus, and he can make you feel better because that's what always happens. You call him, he answers, he asks what's wrong, you make some bullshit up because if you actually said what was wrong, you'd cry more, he comforts you and makes you laugh, and he makes you happy. He always knew you were lying, and you'd ended up telling him what was wrong later anyways.  
But you can't do any of that because your phone is pretty much dead, and you're driving, and texting and driving is bad because you can get into a wreck. You don't want that because then you'd have to pay for your car to get fixed and a claim and all that lovely shit you don't want to do. You don't even think you're currently mentally stable enough to deal with something like that anyways.

You pressed on the gas a bit more to run a yellow light. You were probably way over the speed limit, but you didn't really care. The cops weren't even paying attention to the streets anyways. Someone was murdered somewhere on the north side of town. It was a pretty recent kill, so they might be looking for the killer. But that's kinda difficult when you don't have any idea who it is, and what said murderer is driving. Kudos to detectives for figuring stuff like that out in the middle of a crisis. Or in the middle of the night. You pressed the break to slow down as you turned onto a corner.   
You could just leave now. Head to Ebbot. Nobody would know till the morning. You could have Morison mail you you're stuff. You could move back in with Papyrus. Everything would go back to how it was before you jumped town. Right? That's what you wanted. You wanted it to go back to normal. Back to nights where you could wake up from a nightmare and cuddle into the skeleton chest of your boyfriend. Back to Oreos and movies. Back to fighting Barren, and trying to get Barren and Bunby to date.   
Everything could go back to normal if you just toon the exit.   
You could see Papyrus again.   
You could sleep again.   
You could have more of those random special moments with him.   
Sans could make tacos.   
The two of you could have a game of tag across the mountains to the ocean and back. 

You passed the exit while wiping your eyes. Dammit. Should've been paying attention. The light in front of you is green. You have the right of way.   
A slip of paper materializes in your hand, you look at it as you enter the intersection. Its the first one you've ever been able to read, but that's because it is in English.

LOOK OUT

Middle of the intersection.   
You look up and arou-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess I feel like giving you another chapter tonight. Stand by for new chapter from Papyrus' POV. Prepare to feel


	67. Papyrus POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were coming back, right..?

I sat up on the couch and looked around. What was that...? I think... Did I just hear you scream? Dear fucking Asgore I hope not. You said you'd come home this week. You said you'd come back.  
I know I didn't feel your soul shatter, so you're not dead but... why'd I hear you scream? Was it even you?  
"Bro?" I called out. "Yes brother?" Sans responded from the kitchen. "Are you alright? You didn't hurt yourself?" He came out and stood in the entryway to the living room. "Of course I'm fine brother. Why wouldn't I be?"  
Oh if only he knew what I did. "No reason I uhh... just thought I heard someone scream." I scratched my skull as he hmmed. "Well, maybe the neighbors are engaging in the act of sex again? Julia sure does scream a lot... Though I don't know why you'd hear it from in here...." He thought out loud. I chuckled. "Yea... maybe.... Anyways, I'm going out for a smoke, come get me if I'm not back when foods ready." He nodded and skipped back into the kitchen. He was alive and well, universe wasn't reset. Time to check on you. I grabbed my phone, pack of cigarettes and lighter, and went outside.  
I dialed your number, and held the phone to where my ear would be as I lit a cigarette. I waited.  
And waited.  
And waited. 

It felt like forever.  
You usually picked up on the first or second ring. I was redirected to voicemail. You wouldn't normally let this happen unless you weren't in the vicinity of your phone. I waited a few minutes, taking slow drags.  
You didn't call back.  
I called again, hoping you were all right and just busy.  
I got redirected to voicemail again.  
"Hey Riley. Just callin cuz I got a weird feeling.... Call me back when you can. Hope everything's alright. Hope you're alright. See ya later babe. Love you."  
I ended the call and dropped my cigarette butt into the ashtray before going outside.  
Sans smiled. "You excited?"  
"For what?" I cocked a bonebrow at him.  
"For Riley! She's coming back this week isn't she?" He bounced on his heels a bit. I smiled a bit, trying to hide my anxiety about the topic. What if something had happened, and I missed the feeling of your soul breaking? What if you weren't coming back? "Yea.... She will."  
All I could really do was hope I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome for the double update.  
> What do you guys think happened to poor little Riley? (LadyAllo, no spoiling. I know you already know)


	68. You got eaten by goop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title. And who's the skeleton...?

Everything was dark.  
There was nothing.  
It almost reminded you of those dreams you had where you were in the weird goopy blackness. It just wasn't as terrifying for some reason.  
It was warm.  
And it was cold.  
It was loud.  
And it was silent.  
There was nothing.  
Yet you felt like what the universe was made of, was all around you. This weird blackness of nothing.

You tried to take a step to see if you could find a way out of this place, but you couldn't move your foot. You could have laughed, but you were kinda in the middle of panicking now as the inky black goop you were standing on seemed to either pull you down into it, or start to climb up your legs. Either way, you couldn't move. You were stuck, and this was EXACTLY like your dream.  
Even though you knew it would do absolutely NOTHING but hasten your inevitable demise, you struggled against it and tried to pull yourself free. You didn't touch the goop with your hands, that would just get the goop to crawl up your hand and pull you down that way. You tried to get your shoes off, see if you could get free that way, find a way out before it caught onto you and pulled you under. You had no luck, you could feel the goop against the skin of your foot in the shoe. It was warm and slimy and freaked you out even more.  
The goop slowly inches its way up your legs, torso, and you struggled harder to get away. It was definitely pulling you down. There was no other way to explain it. You were going to be swallowed by nothing. You'd never be able to get out. You'd disappear forever. You'd stop existing....  
A strange sense of hopelessness began to fill you as the goop pulled you up to your chin. You were going to die, and you couldn't even fight it. There was nothing you could do to stop it. Tears began to slip down your face. You began to sob.  
The goop pulled at your head. You didn't want to die. You really didn't. But even in dream, the only way you could stop this was to wake up, and you can't. You can't wake up for some reason. Your stuck here.  
You sobbed with a broken scream. What if, by some luck, someone else was here and could help you before you were completely swallowed...? Highly doubtful, but it was worth a shot.  
The goop pulled you under.  
You felt like you were drowning in the inky substance. Which you probably were, breathing in this weird goop.  
Your vision started to turn blurry and dark around the edges, not that it wasn't already dark. Your chest hurt. You felt tired.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up to the strange and out of place feeling of warmth. The floor beneath you was hard and strangely comfortable, like Papyrus' couch. Your head was propped on top of something, but you couldn't think of what it was. The green lumpy thing had always seemed strangely comfortable to you. You blinked your eyes open, and instead of some sort of actual physical room or inky blackness, you were met with white. Just a bunch of white. Like a blank canvas. It had the same feel as the black goop place, but it didn't seems as hostile. It wasn't trying to swallow you whole or anything.  
You sat up, and a jacket slipped off of your shoulders. Strange. You don't remember ever wearing it.... Or owning it for that matter. The article of clothing was a light blue vest. It would be way to big on you if you tried it on, probably why it works so well as a blanket. You looked down at yourself. You were wearing the last thing you could remember: Papyrus' hoodie, your favorite jeans, black converse, and a tank top underneath the hoodie. Your left leg looked very bloody and torn, but the skin beneath it was flawless. You don't remember ever ruining the pants like this. Not do you really remember anything helpful, i.e. how you got here and why you did.  
There was a rustling of clothing behind you, the sound seemed strange and amplified here. Probably because of the lack of everything. You turned around, and came face to face with a skeleton monster who had just sat up and was in the process of stretching. There were cracks on their face, one on/under their right eye, and one on/above their left eye. It kinda made them look like they had a lazy eye of sorts. They stared back at you as you stared at them. There lazy socket had a blue ring of magic in it, almost like the human eye would, with the pupil being black and all. Except that outside the iris, it is also black. Their other eye was the same, just blue. They were wearing an orange sweater and blackish/brown pants. A smile spread across their face as the two of you had a staring contest that you knew you were going lose.  
Their arms dropped from where they'd been held up in a stretch, and the skeleton made motions with their hands as a weird grating noise seemed to emanate from them. You frowned at them. "Uhh... sorry but I don't know sign language... or understand what you just said...." They frowned too, and their hands dropped into their lap, their blue eye seemed to dim, and their orange brightened. The orange kind of reminded you of Papyrus and his magic.  
The two of you sat there, doing nothing for a long time. Or maybe just a few minutes? You don't know. You can't tell time here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yay how fun is this :P


	69. Morison POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morison POV. His thoughts on this shit. And some insight onto unanswered questions

Wow. I'm an idiot. I really am. How could I let this happen? I could have done something to stop you from going out on your own while you were crying. Now, you were in a coma, and the doctors had no idea how long it would be till you woke up. Yay. My cousin is in a coma and I have to figure out a way to break the news to Alex, lightly. Which is kinda hard. Since, y'know, you almost died and all. Not to mention that when you wake up, if you do (hopefully you do), you'll have to go through rehab because you almost lost your fucking leg thanks to your car door and that fucking truck and the one that rear-ended. Your leg got broken in four or five places, the metal of your car door also cut into your leg and tore quite a bit of muscle (including a tendon). The doctors also told me that you'd been awake after the crash, and had a severe concussion. Even with their efforts, you'd fallen asleep on the way to the hospital.  
Yay. You're gonna be sooooo happy. And so is Alex!  
Fucking dammit. He told me to make sure you didn't do anything stupid because you have a tendency to do that it seems, and hey! Guess what!! I let you go do something stupid!!!  
I also have to figure out how in going to tell Papyrus. He'd probably kill me. He almost did it back in Ebbot when our previous pianist and lead singer threatened to hurt you. I did the /smart/ thing of getting in the middle to try and mediate. Yea. He wouldn't be happy about it.  
Also have to tell your bosses. Napstaton was already sad you were leaving, now the dude's going to flip his station because his 'favorite human,' as Jimmy so kindly puts it, almost fucking died.  
I don't even know if I can tell Papyrus in the first place. Kind of missing an important part of that. HIS NUMBER. and we have no idea where in your car your phone would have ended up since it wasn't on your person. Gerald was looking for it now. It'd be terrible if they never found out about your accident.

Brain activity. They said that your brain was active for a little while, which doesn't usually happen in a coma. I also got a call at two in the fucking morning because your heart almost stopped. They say they're lucky they caught onto it in time. I feel like you were giving up on something. I hope you weren't. 

This wouldn't have happened if I'd done something more instead of let them fight and argue. Jimmy feels like shit now. He feels like it's his fault since he was the one arguing with you, and the one who made you cry. Nobody's done anything to prove otherwise.

One thing I've noticed about the pianists I've worked with, is that they all have a sense of freedom. Any instrumentalist does really. I think I just notice it with pianists more since I've gone through some many. You wanted to leave. That is like wanting freedom.  
I'm sitting here in your room, and I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I just wanted to see. You never told me if you'd finished the song I told you too write. And here I find, is a bunch of them, some seem to be older than others, but one that seems quite recent had a title scribbled at the top. "Voices in my Head". It was a bit strange, and didn't really seem like something you would write. Maybe someone else had? Don't know. Kinda looks like your handwriting; messy, half cursive. And who knew? Maybe this was the type of stuff you wrote, and never let people see. That'd make sense since you were so full of ~secrets~.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally didnt hide under my covers when my mother came upstairs because I was crying my eyes out. Nope. Never happened.


	70. Creative title I can't think of at 2am

I sat in the hospital room. It was your room, and the constant beep of the heart monitor was the only real sound. You were on the bed, the wounds you'd gotten were bandaged. You looked more peaceful than I'd ever seen you while you were sleeping, there'd always been something haunting you when we were kids. Sometimes I'd just sit next to your bed, kinda like I am now, and make sure nothing happened to you. Or... More like you didn't do anything to yourself.   
There were bits of your childhood that you seemed to have forgotten, or that your subconscious had altered to make it less... painful. That seemed to stop happening when you were 14. You got more frequent nightmares, and I stayed up to watch you more.   
I've been in this position three times. Sitting next you in a hospital room waiting for you to wake up. You don't seem to remember either of those times. I'm almost glad you didn't, but sometimes I wished you did, like when I'd first started messaging you all those months ago. You /gave/ me your phone number. I don't know why you don't remember that, but you did. I'd been called in after they found you half-beaten to death in an alleyway. I'd been there when you woke up, but you don't remember.   
Not do you remember the time you tried to off yourself using dad's hunting knife. I was there when you woke up in the hospital then too. That was probably the saddest... besides now.... They at least knew you were going to wake up those other times... but they don't know this time. You might never wake up, and I'll have to watch as they unplug the life support.   
When you tried to kill yourself, that was the saddest time of my life. Especially when you'd woken up. You'd immediately started crying. You were disappointed you failed. Mom hadn't even noticed you were in the hospital then. Dad had though. You don't remember that either. He'd changed. He payed attention to you, he took care of you. You don't seem to remember those three years of your life. Dad had loved you. He'd done so much to change and be a better father for you and you don't even remember. He took care of you when you were sick, comforted you when you cried because mom hadn't recognized you again and when Ara hurt you. It'd hurt his heart if he was here now, to see what's happened to you.   
I think I should call him.... Just so he can come and see you. He's still in his 50s, and he looks 30. Don't know why mom told you he was dead. She was probably thinking of her ex, who had died. Dad divorced her years ago, like, a year after you pulled your vanishing act. I think he's somewhere in Europe? I'll call him when I get back to the hotel, for now, I'll just sit here and watch over you.   
"Don't die on us sis.... I know quite a few people who wouldn't be happy with that...." I said, squeezing your hand a bit.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You opened your eyes and stared up at the large expanse of white. As a familiar voice cut through the loud sound of quietness. "Don't die on us sis.... I know quite a few people who wouldn't be happy with that." It said. Alex. That was Alex. You grunted and looked away from... up.   
Your skeleton friend was to your left. You've learned that his name is Gaster and that he's been stuck here for a very long time. You learned that through the use of drawings on what you both considered to be the white expanse of ground. He had used your canvas analogy to devise a way of communication since you had no idea what he was saying, verbally or otherwise. He somehow produced a piece of black charcoal or whatever (you assume its charcoal because it turns your fingers black) and wrote.  
Gaster was looking at you with a raises bonebrow. He grabbed the piece of charcoal from the space between the two of you, and began to write. "You know that person? I assume it's for you since I am neither a 'sis' nor am I close to dead." He wrote. You shrugged from where you laid. "That was my brother. I don't really know what he means by 'don't die.' I don't think I'm close to dying. I feel fine. This isn't what dying is like." He cocked his head at you. "You know what dying is like?"  
"Yeah. Remember how you said that you've watched some of the resets n stuff?" He nodded. "I've died in quite a few of them. Though I don't remember the details.... Except for the last reset. I got shot in the chest." Gaster looked at you in shock, like he couldn't imagine someone possibly killing you. He was mostly blue right now, so no orange. Blue was his happy upbeat optimistic side. Orange was his laid back chill af side. Kinda like Sans and Papyrus.   
The two of you laid there. Or you laid, and Gaster sat. You started to think. 

If this place was like a blank canvas.....  
Couldn't you make anything out of it. 

"Hey..... Can you explain to me the rules of this place and that only void? Or like, teach me about them." You said as you turned your head back to him. "Its kinda boring just sitting here doing nothing." He smiled and nodded, producing a larger piece of charcoal and beginning to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
> I feel like  
> I'm making this bad


	71. Personal hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you get out of your own hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just went through the chapters to copy and paste the nightmares into a seemingly chronological order.

You clutched the canvas as you walked up to your mother. She was slouched at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer loosely gripped between her fingers. "Mom!" You said, presenting the painted canvas. "Look what I made!" She turned and looked at you, not even glancing at the painting. "Its very nice kid. Why don't you run along and find your parents." Her smile was fake and held barely concealed annoyance.  
Your face fell into a sad frown as you retreated. No use. She was drunk. So drunk that she didnt even recognize her own daughter. You felt... heavy.  
You went up to your room. The walls were covered in bands and movie posters. The bed had a simple gray cover, and the carpet was the same shade. You tossed the canvas in the corner.  
On the campus was a painting of a landscape. You didn't know where it was, but you didn't care anymore. It failed its purpose. You glared at the thing before picking it up. It was light in your hands. You hated the picture now.  
You tore it to shreds.  
Would found its way inside your house. You acquired multiple paper cuts as splinters buried themselves in your flesh. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as the front door slammed open.  
Your father was home, and he was upset. You could hear arguing downstairs. You climbed out the window and jumped off the roof, landing in a roll in the grass. You got up and walked away. You wouldn't be back for a few days.

 

You turned around and nearly bumped into her. Your crush. She had long black hair, and electric blue eyes. Today, she'd chosen to wear a black pencil skirt with a white tank top underneath a yellow see through shawl. She was beautiful, and you had to work hard so as to not blush.  
She smiled at you. "You're Riley Petrovich, right?" She asked. You felt your heart stop as your eyes widened and you nodded. "Would you like to be my date to Homecoming?" She almost seemed shy. You nodded, and she smiles back.  
She treated you like you were everything to her.

You were starting to walk home after the volleyball game. The girls had won a home game, and you'd helped Ara get photos for the yearbook. You were tired, and your feet hurt.  
Hurried footsteps behind you made you look over your shoulder. It was Ara. She slowed down beside you, looking down at you with a smile. "Hey, you mind if I walk you home?" You shrugged, too tired to care.

April 25th. Your first date with Ara. You couldn't figure out what shirt to wear. None of them seemed right for today. You settled for a light blue tank top with an orange flannel. Seemed formal enough, right? You had no idea where she was taking you.  
"It looks cuter on you when it's untied." Her voice said from by the door as you tied the front of the flannel. You looked back at her. She wore an knee length jade green dress with a jean jacket covering her shoulders. She was smiling at you, her eyes sparkled. She looked like she loved you. You didn't have trouble believing it.  
She came forward and untied the front of your flannel. "You look beautiful darling."

She took you out to the middle of nowhere after dinner at Olive Garden. Tonight was a meteor shower. You laid on your back as she sat next to you. She wasn't watching the meteor shower, she was watching you. You sat up, "What? Do I have something on my face?" You asked. She laughed with a smile, "No, you just have beautiful eyes." Your cheeks burned with a blush as you looked away.  
You looked back to return the compliment, but were quieter by her lips meeting yours in a chaste kiss.

"Riley," a voice singsonged in the darkness. "I got a present for you!"  
"I'm busy Ara, can it wait for later?" Your voice answered back.  
"Nope! You gotta open it now." She said.

The scene came into focus, but you were watching it as a third person, not as yourself. Ara had just skipped into your bedroom in a pleated skirt and a blue blouse with your jacket hanging off her shoulders. Even though you weren't in your body, you could still feel what you felt at the time.  
Love.  
Adoration.  
Relief.  
Happiness.  
You turned around in your spiny chair as she extended a little box. It was a 2inch cube covered in a soft velvet fabric with a little ribbon wrapped around it and tied into a pretty bow. "C'mon! Open it!" Ara said excitedly. You did.  
The necklace inside had a long silver chain attached to a mauve heart shaped pendant. Mauve had been your favorite color. Ara smiled at you, "Do you like it?" You nodded, your thumb running over the smooth shiny surface. She came over and kisses your hair. "Happy Birthday Rileybear," she said sweetly. Something was different... Off.... But you couldn't think what it was.

Two months of dating, and not once has she harmed you. She hasn't held your hand either. Her family, meaning her father, loves you. He thinks you'd be the perfect daughter-in-law. They dote on you, and love you, and care for you more than your own family does. You love it.

She gave you everything you wanted, everything you needed.  
But the look in her eye when she smiles at you has changed. It looked hungry.  
She still hasn't held your hand. She hasn't cuddled with you either. You wish she would.  
You felt that she was everything you wanted.  
Quite possibly, everything you needed too.

You felt like you'd gotten drugged an then beaten. Or beaten then drugged. Either way you were in the hospital. The room was dark, and the moon barely showed between the clouds outside. You hurt, everywhere. But it seemed to have been dulled down. You were scared for a minute, that you'd lost your leg. You couldn't feel it, or your arm, but your arm was on your stomach. You rubbed your other leg up against the one you couldn't feel, it was in a cast. Your arm was just wrapped in multiple layers of bandages. You tried to sit up. You couldn't. The heart monitor started beeping quicker as your heart rate increased from panic. Why couldn't you move? What had even happened? How did you end up in the hospital?  
A nurse rushed in. You couldn't hear understand what she was saying as she spoke in a hushed tone and pushed you the little bit you'd lifted off the bed. She pulled away and tweaked some things on the IV drip. "There's a button by your right hand. Push it if you need anything." She said, louder and less like she was speaking to a child that'd had a nightmare. She left the room, leaving you alone in the quiet darkness....

The room was bright when you woke up again. The sun was shining through the windows, just above the top, so it wasn't blinding you as you stared out the window. Alex was next to you, he had a loose grip on your non-injured hand and he was reading a book. You were sitting up now, thanks to the nurse changing the position of the bed.  
It hurt to breathe. You had a few cracked ribs from what the nurse said. A few cracked ribs, a broken fibula, cracked collarbone, and your left arm had deep scrapes and cuts all around it. Alex said you'd been jumped on the way home from school, but you didn't know by whom. Though one girl came into mind... though it wouldn't make sense why your girlfriend would jump you. Like, the two of you were dating.... Sometimes you wished you weren't. She was nice and all... sometimes... other times, she wasn't.  
She walked in with her sickly sweet smile. "Aw babe, you look terrible. I'm sorry you got jumped. I'm sure we can find the ones who did it when you come back to school." Terrible... She couldn't even say sorry before saying you looked like shit. You felt like shit. You strained a smile at her, nodding. "Sure thing..." She left you a get well card and a kiss in the forehead before saying she had to leave. She was a really good liar, but once you knew her well enough, it became obvious. You felt your shoulders get heavier as an invisible weight settled on them, you stared down at your lap. She didn't have anywhere to be. She just didn't want to spend time with you. So she lied. Alex squeezed your hand a little bit.  
You wished you had the Courage to leave her. But you didn't.

You were trying to get off the floor. She kicked you in the stomach and destroyed your progress of getting to your knees.  
Tears were streaming down your face.  
You don't know what you did.  
Did you do anything wrong?  
You don't know.

The kicking stopped.  
Her angry voice disappeared.  
"Oh Riles.... If only you would stop hurting me." A hand strokes your cheek and you flinched. "Then I wouldn't have to do this to you." Her voice was laced with poison that slipped into your mind and clouded your judgement. It was your fault wasn't it? You'd hurt her. How? Does it matter?  
"You're mine Riles." She said before chuckling. "I love you."  
Oh? She did?  
Yes. She did.  
And you loved her too.  
Right?  
Yes. You do.

You looked back at her, sleeping on the bed. She hadn't comprehended anything you said an hour ago. Guess that meant that now was the best time to leave. Go somewhere you feel would be safe for the time being.....

 

Shit. Shit. Shit.  
That was all that went through your mind as you ran. Shouting filled the air. Bullets flew past you but never met their mark. You didn't know what was going on, why your city was suddenly being bombed. You didn't know why men carrying guns were chasing you up the mountain. You were terrified.  
This wasn't right.  
This hadn't happened before. None of the other runs that you could remember had led to war.  
You didn't know what to do.  
You kept running, weaving your way through trees as you went up the mountain. The only thing keeping you going was your fear, and your will to survive. The trees broke out into a ledge with a hole in the center that you took a chance and jumped across. You didn't quite make it. Your hands digging into sharp rock and pulling yourself up. You kept running, jumping off the ledge and down the 10 foot drop.  
You landed in a roll and got up running. The military men were still behind you. You couldn't tell if they were gaining, you hoped not.  
The tree line broke again, and you almost ran right into the ocean. Instead, you skidded on the sand and then bolted to the right along the shoreline. It was a dangerous move, but it was all you could do till you could safely get back into the forest and figure out where the hell you were going. 

You'd lost the group of fighters after ducking into the forest again and climbing up a tall pine tree. Idiots don't look up, and apparently they were all idiots. They'd passed right under you, and left. You'd sat there and waited for a good hour to make sure they'd left. Then you'd dropped out of the tree and started trying to find your way back to town.  
It took you a good three hours to find a way out of the woods. You could smell the smoke of the burning city from the tree line. It burned your nostrils. People were trying to flee, but the fires wouldn't let them. They were trapped by a ring of fire around the entire city. You didn't know how to help.  
Their screams echoed in your ears as you turned away from the fiery doom. You couldn't help a whole city. Not on your own. You had to survive yourself if you wanted to help anybody in the first place. Help yourself before helping others. You knew who you would end up fighting, the ones that had chased you up the mountain. The insignia on their uniforms gave that away. You didn't know who they were, but you would find a way to put them through hell. Just like everyone else behind you as you retreated back into the woods and started running again before they started burning themselves.

"Kid, are you sure you want to join?" The officer in front of you asked. You stared him dead in the eye. "I'd rather die fighting, than like a coward behind broken defenses and people I could be fighting alongside." This was more about revenge for taking everything from you, but you were honest. You would rather die fighting, than being a coward as someone else protected you. He nodded and pointed you in the direction of the base. "They'll take you in there." The tone of his voice told you that he hoped they rejected you. You guessed it was because you were a girl as you headed towards where he'd pointed. You took out your knife and cut your hair off on the way.

The man next to you threw up on the floor of the truck as it moved along the dirt road. You were on your way to your first battle. Everyone was on edge. You were slightly excited. The gun resting in your hands felt right, like it was made for you.  
Your grip tightened as the truck came to a stop, the back opened up, and everyone hopped out and ran around. There was barely any reaction time between the first shot fired, and the rest that followed.  
It was terrifying.

The AK-47 felt heavy in your hands. Lieutenant Briggs had just been shot through the chest. Nobody could call off the assault now, not unless someone else assumed the position.  
You were crouched behind a wall of dead bodies, reloading your gun. The smell of dead people was already thick in the air. It stuck to your skin, your hair, your uniform. It made you want to throw up if you focused on it too long. Gun loaded, you rolled away from the body pile and laid on your stomach, sniper position. You were a sniper this time, you just needed to fill other positions, so you were. You took out enemy targets as they moved. You tried not to accidentally shoot your comrades, but it was hard with everyone moving. Hope you didn't go to hell for friendly fire.  
A grenade landed just to your left, and you barely had time to roll out of the way before it blew up. Harlow pulled you too your feet and then shoved you aside, tossing an M-16 at you and taking the AK-47. This didn't usually happen, but you went with it anyways; you had to adapt. If changing weapons mid-fire would change something about this fight, you're alright with that.  
Firing a few rounds, the two of you ducked behind the body of walls. Seems the buddy system was in play now, Harlow didn't seem likely to leave you behind. Something blew up beyond the barrier, someone screamed.  
"Where's Lieutenant?" Harlow said over the noise. You jerked your head towards a body out in the open, "'E's dead! Shot through the chest by an M-60!" You told him. He didn't look happy. He nodded. "We gotta fall back, we can't hold position!" Everyone trusted Harlow. If anyone was to replace Briggs, it'd be Harlow until someone else could come and take charge. That wasn't likely to happen anytime soon though. Jikens was dead, and the radio blown to shrapnel.  
You nodded, and turned around to run across the open space to where some of your comrades were camping out. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. "I expect to see you alive Petrovich." He said, his tone and gaze, serious. You nodded again, and he let go.  
You took off from behind the wall when there was a short ceasefire. It started up again, bullets flying past and missing you. You slid into a spot next to your comrades.  
"Briggs is dead. Harlow's taken command. We can't hold the position. We have to fall back." You said, relaying the information.

 

"Move move move!" Lieutenant Harlow yelled. Three of four squads moved forward, aiming and firing at the oncoming enemies. Gun shots and cannons and explosions tore through the air. And you were right in the center of it.  
A guy to your left was missing an arm. Another behind you had been shot in the head, a lucky miss for you. Others were being shot and torn apart. It was chaos.  
You ducked behind a tree as a grenade blew to your right. You couldn't hear Lieutenant shouting orders. You could only see his lips move. Nobody was still. Greml was yelling reports into his com, keeping HQ updated on progress. The plan was a bust, and there were no chances of retreat with the onslaught of gunfire.  
A field medic crouches down in front of you, grabbing your chin and lifting your head to see if you were alive. He frowned, looked up, and shoved you to the side as the tree you were up against was blown apart. Splinters rained down on you as you got up and dashed to the cover of a boulder where a few others were taking cover. Sliding in next to them, you finally let instinct and the need to survive take over.  
You peeked over the boulder, aimed, and fired. A bullet grazed your helmet as you got back up, and you immediately sank back down as more bullets came upon the rock, the assaulters hoping to his someone. You reloaded and waited for the firing to stop before you peeked around the side and open fired.  
Your gut said to move, so you did after switching to your pistol. Your rifle still easily accessible, you came out from behind the boulder and started shouting as you ran further into the fray. Where else would you go? There was nowhere to go. Nowhere except forward and hope you survived.  
You couldn't hear anybody's yelling or shouting. All you could hear was gunfire and explosion. It was overwhelming. The sound burned itself in your ears.  
The ground beside you exploded and you were thrown to the side, landing on your arm and breaking it on a rock. It hurt. You're pretty sure you screamed. You rolled onto your stomach, pistol still in hand, and you forced yourself to look up as blood sprayed in your face from someone getting shot through the neck. Your vision was blurred, you were in pain from more than just a few bullets lodged in your skin and your broken arm, you're pretty sure your crying, but otherwise hoped it was just sweat running down your face and not blood. Someone's body landed in front of you and you used them as cover so that you could reload.  
You snapped your arm back into place before getting up. You gripped the gun with that hand, a knife in the other.  
Aim.  
Fire.  
Run.  
Slash.  
Fire.  
You're shot in the knee as you knife someone in the back. The impact and sudden pain from the joint brought you down to the ground.

The sun was high in the sky. Alex was walking next to you. He looked like you. Made sense since he was your brother. The two of you were in the lead, the rest of your little band of fighters fanned out behind you. That way, if you were attacked, there was the chance someone could get away.  
The city was in ruins. Buildings that had once been skyscrapers, were now the size of the average apartment building. Little coffee shops hidden on corners were crushed under their neighbors. The air was rancid with old decay.  
It got worse. The sky grew darker.  
Dark night. Rain poured from the sky. Footsteps alongside yours. Grip tight on your pistol.  
It was never safe. Keep your guard up.  
Footsteps behind yours.

 

The world around you exploded in a cacophony of noise and white light. Your back hitting the wall as you lifted a submachine gun and pulled the trigger. 

 

Gun shots echoed through the air. You were running. You shouldn't have gone ahead. You should've stayed with your team.  
You rounded a corner and skidded to a stop. You were too late. The bodies of your comrades lay scattered, bleeding from various wounds. But that didn't matter. They were dead.  
You looked up at the ones who just killed your friends. They all wore the same crazy smile anyone did after a successful kill. They were looting the bodies and they hadnt seen you yet. Keeping your eyes on them, you pulled out your trusty pistol, silenced it, aimed, and fired. You shot one threw the head. Too bad that had been your only bullet.  
You took out your knife and quietly snuck up behind all the rest, and slit their throats. You looted their bodies, and your comrades. Money, ammo, journals, letters, miscellaneous items that your friends had carried with them because they were special.

 

Aim. Fire. Reload. Numb stares. Blood. Death.

 

Hiss.  
Click.  
You pulled the trigger.  
The man below you collapsed, bleeding from a hole in the top of his head.  
There'd been a turning point in the war.  
It went from two sides against each other, to chaos and everyone just fighting to survive. Every man for himself.  
Alex was dead.  
So was all of your friends.  
You were alone.  
The sniper rifle in your hands felt heavy. You haven't moved for hours. Your joints felt like unoiled hinges.  
The town was deserted.  
The sun was going down.  
Dusk.  
You got down from your perch and started the careful journey back to your hideout.  
You rounded a corner, and a bullet lodged itself in your chest.  
You stood there in shock, staring at the gunman across the street. He had a blank look in his eyes. Like he didn't care anymore. Like he was numb. The rifle fell from your hands. You chuckled and choked on the blood building up in your lungs. It flew out of your mouth as you coughed and smiled at him, shakily bringing your hands up and clapping. Your chest throbbed. Your lungs burned as they drowned in blood from the open bullet wound.  
He stared at you blankly. His gun still pointed at you.  
You collapsed as everything went black.  
As everything disappeared.

 

All the scenes changed and happened around you. You were stuck in your own little torture, that you'd started. You couldn't get away from it. No matter what you did, you couldn't close your eyes, you couldn't blink. This was your creation. You were stuck here.  
How do you get out of your own hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest fuckin chapter ever


	72. Radio silence // Are you an alien?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts off with Papy pov then switches.

Voicemail.  
Radio silence.  
That's all anyone's getting from you. Me, Sans, Alphys, Bunby, Barren... Everyone.  
Alphys knows something. She's stopped trying to get a hold of you. I wish she would tell me.  
Your brother knows something too. He said he was going on a trip to a town called Bristel for something important. He won't tell me if he's heard anything from you.  
Bunby is fuming over your lack of response. Something about always having your back and you never acknowledging it and ignoring it and running off to do whatever. 

Someone showed up today. A man by the name of Crow Petrovich. Maybe he's your uncle or grandfather or something. You told me your father was dead, I'd seen the grave the time you'd died. He's been hanging around the bar a lot. He says he's waiting for something. 

Alex says to watch out. Ara is going to be back in town or whatever. 

Sans seems to share your fear, your reason for leaving. So does Alphys, but in a more professional cop way. It's weird. It seems he's starting to believe you don't care. "She would've called us back by now if she did, right?" He says. I think something's up. I don't know what, but I remember hearing you scream. That's not something I can make up. I'm not gonna give up hope yet. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You're considering going back to find the inky black stuff. This endless white is starting to suffocate you, even after you cover as much as possible in Gaster's black charcoal. Its always gone by the time you wake up.  
Gaster doesn't want you to. He thinks that there's no definite way to know it'll return you to your body, since only your soul resides here. You still think you should try.  
Your gonna wait a little while longer though, see if you get pulled from here by natural forces or whatever. Your only a soul. Your body needs you to survive. You give up here, your body gives up too. You can't let yourself die.  
Your explaining all the alien theories you've heard to him. Like how they built the moon and set it to orbit earth on purpose, how they helped build the pyramids, and Stonehenge. You tell him about sci-fi stories you've read, what people think aliens look like, what you think they look like. How there's some legends that seem to point in the direction of aliens.  
Then you think.  
And ask him.  
"Are you an alien?" You said with a slightly childish smile. He sat there and contemplated. You sat there and waited as the whiteness pressed in, as it tried to suffocate you.  
What would happen if you went insane?

The two of you laughed for what seemed like hours.  
How do you even tell time here? Gaster says you can't.  
You think it might be 3am since you're starting to feel tired. But that's not even accurate since you can't tell time here.  
You giggled as you tossed a piece of charcoal in Gaster's eyesocket. He blinked and chuckled.  
Is it just you, or are you starting to figure out what he says when he doesn't write....

It's like being a child again and learning your first language, he wrote. Being around someone who speaks something different from you for so long, you can start to piece it together, like a toddler does to learn their first language. But his probably isn't one you'd want to do yourself, it sounds like it would hurt your throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the quality of the chapters seems to be dropping :/ I just didn't want for there to be a catastrophe, then another one, and so on :\ cuz if I didn't put something between it'd just be a disaster.  
> If anyone has any suggestions/edits on how to solve that issue and stuff, I'm open


	73. It's driving you insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much longer......

How.  
Much.  
Longer. 

Everything seems to be going by slower. Walks through the empty white void seem to take longer. Whatever semblance of sleep, shorter. Nothing happens here. Nothing changes.  
It's driving you insane.  
You've scribbled charcoal across the floor, covered as much as possible. It's still not enough. It's still too /white/. Still too empty.  
Gaster says that you'll get used to it.  
But the last time you remember this type of thing, you were dead, and waiting for the world to reset.  
You thought about the last time you died and the world reset. You stared down at your hands and imagined holding a gum again. Your trigger finger itched. You needed something to do.  
You got up and walked away from where you and Gaster had been sitting. You walked and walked and walked. 

Eventually, the white floor seemed to turn into dirt and grass, a weight settled on your shoulders and in your hands.  
And then everything happened at once. You suddenly weren't alone, and it was calm and quiet and serene. It was chaos. You swung around and smashed the butt of your gun into the dude behind you, then you shot another one in the head. You spun around and collided with the chaos. You fought as hard as you could. Momentum carried you around the field as you shot, slashed, and killed whoever came at you. No side was distinct. Besides, it's only a memory, what'd it matter if you slaughtered everyone?  
A crazy childishly manic grin spread across your face as you smashed someone else's skull in with your AK-47 and shot someone else with a pistol. You rolled on the ground to avoid a grenade, and pulled one of your own, tossing it back where the other had come.  
This was what you were looking for. Excitement. The thrill. Even if you hated to admit it, this had been a guilty pleasure. They were your enemies. Enemies hurt you. They hurt your friends and your family. They torture you. They destroy you. You wouldn't be destroyed, because who was there to destroy you if the enemy was gone? Nobody except yourself, and that was perfectly okay.  
You swung around and a bullet clipped your shoulder. Your manic smile widened as you shot the enemy in the chest. They all looked the same. They were all the enemy. You screamed a laugh and continued laughing as you broke through the enemy. 

Empty shells, bodies, burnt grass, and blood surrounded you as you laid on the ground. You stared up at the blue sky your mind projected. You would gladly take this over empty white, even if it meant you were losing your mind.  
You rolled to your feet and started checking to make sure everyone was dead. Anyone who seemed otherwise, you shot a couple times. Then they definitely were dead. You looted their bodies for ammo, money, random shit you thought was important to them, and you piled it all in the center of the field. You piled all the bodies a little ways to the left of the pile of things. Then you lit them both on fire, sat down, and watched them burn. 

 

You woke up in an odd way. It wasn't slow then all at once, or all at once, or any of that stuff people describe as waking up. It was more like, you blinked. Like you were never asleep in the first place. You don't even remember falling asleep in the first place. And you don't remember Gaster ever showing up, wrapping you in his vest, and then cuddling the shit out of you. Everything you'd seen before 'falling asleep' were gone. Like it never even happened. Which it technically didn't, but still. You wish it was there instead of the white.  
Your back was pressed against Gaster's chest, and you could feel him breathing. It was sort of comforting. It reminded you of how you used to sleep with Papyrus. Except the two of you were usually in a bed, not on some void's floor.  
You pulled the vest around you a but more and tried to go back to sleep. Gaster wouldn't be waking up for a while, and getting up would be boring.  
You remember how your eyelids grew heavy, and the darkness crept. It was gradual, but you eventually fell asleep, floating on a bed of inky black, as a steady beeping filled the silence. It was almost like a heartbeat....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep


	74. Chapter 74

Sometimes.... You need someone to talk to. Sometimes you need to talk but don't want to talk. Sometimes you want to talk but can't find the words.  
And then you have a breakdown.  
In the middle of empty white space.  
Alone.  
Because you decided to go for a walk since you couldn't figure out what to say.  
So now you're crying alone in the middle of nothing of a dream you've had multiple times in the past, and haven't cried over since you were 14. Yay. 

Said dream involves your mom. Which is why you haven't cried since you were 14. You haven't cared about this since you were 14. But now, with nothing else to think about because nothing's interesting, and apparently only actually being a soul, every damn emotion is point blank and ready for execution. 

 

You walked into the house and was greeted by your dog Geyln. Your dad looked up at you from where he was at the coffee table. He looked stressed and tired. He blinked, and gave you a little smile. "Hello Riley, how was school?" So domestic... Something must've happened. You shrugged. "It was alright. Took a test, turned in my paper, other stuff." You counted them off on your fingers. He nodded and sat up a bit, his hands clasped in his lap. "Riley... Are you able to stay at someone's house tonight?"  
You shook your head. "Sorry dad. I don't know enough people for that, and Ara said that her and her dad had to go to a party or whatever." He sighed and nodded. "Then, at the very least, stay away from your mother. I don't want you getting hurt."  
"Why?" You cocked your head. "Something happen?"  
"No... She's just angry, and throwing one of her fits." You nodded and started to head upstairs. 

Two hours later, you heard someone yell your name from downstairs. You set down your pencil, covered the doodled person on your paper up, and went downstairs. You probably shouldn't have since your mother was down there. You entered the dining room and looked at around at the mess that was there. Your mother stood on the other side of the dining room, arguing with your father.  
Your brother was at the back door, he looked pissed. He saw you, and beckoned you over. You tried to move quietly through the mess on the floor, but stepped on a shard of glass. It cracked beneath your feet, and your mother turned to look at you. She looked angry and confused.  
"Who the hell is that?" She asked your father. "Is this the bitch you've been having an affair with?" She didn't take your eyes off of you even as she snarled at your dad. He tried to speak but she turned around and snapped at him, yelling about how unfaithful and ungrateful he was, and how she was the only one staying loyal to her "perfect family." Hah. Guess you're an imperfection and don't deserve to be in her perfect family, and that's why she's forgotten you were her child.  
You took another step towards Alex, and stopped when she spun back towards you. "And you! You filthy little bitch!" She borderline yelled as she walked towards you. "You filthy husband stealing little whore! You don't belong in my house! And you don't belong near my husband!"  
You saw Alex move out of the corner of your eye, but you were a little preoccupied with getting backhanded to figure out what he was doing. You stumbled back and tripped over your shoelaces, falling onto the glass covered ground. You felt the pieces digging into your skin as you tried to figure out what exactly just happened.  
1) Your mother was angry.  
2) She thought your dad was cheating on her with you (ew gross).  
3) She's angry at you.  
4) She slapped you. 

It hurt like a ton of bricks. Your mother had hit you. This was the first time shed ever done that. You looked up at her from where you were. It all seemed so strange. Whatever the hell was going on now didn't make sense, and all the yelling that was going on sounded like some foreign language.  
Alex was in front of you, yelling at your mother. Your dad was next to them. They were all yelling really. None of it made sense.  
You sat up and looked at all the glass embedded in your hands. How had that even gotten there? You looked around at all the glass. Her wine bottles. Or beer. Some alcoholic beverage kept in fancy bottles. It looked like she had broken at least four.  
"She is your daughter!" Your father told your mother. "You just fucking slapped my sister you bitch!" Alex said. "Don't talk to me that way hound man! I am your mother and you will treat me with respect!" She snarled. "People who hurt my family don't get respect! Even if they're my fucking mother. But you're not my mother. You're some psychotic drunk ass addict imposter that's decided to ruin our lives! If anyone doesn't belong here, it's you! Not her!"  
He turned around to you, and pulled you up off the ground. The angry glare that had been on his face a second before turned into a worried look as he saw the tears on your face. Mom and dad continued to argue behind you. Alex wrapped his arm around your shoulders, and guided you from the room. His other hand came up and grasped your forearm. It was comforting, and protective. He'd be there for you.  
The two of you got to his car and got in. Your cheek stung. Your hands hurt. You were emotionally hurt. Your mother had not only been sober enough to have recognized your face, and didn't, but had also slapped you.  
You reached up to touch where she'd slapped you, and came across blood. Her wedding ring had cut your face. You sobbed.  
You could deal with her not remembering you were her child 90% of the time, not her physically hurting you.

 

You sat on the floor in the middle of nowhere, buried your head in your knees, and cried. The memory, and the feelings replayed themselves in your mind over and over again. It hurt, and you'd almost forgotten about how that particular incident went. But now you remember it. And it hurt. A lot. You wiped your nose on the sleeve of Papyrus' hoodie. 

At some point, you'd fallen onto your side, and just laid there. Tears still trailed down your face, but you weren't sobbing. You just felt empty, alone, and sad. You imagined Alex holding you against his chest as you slipped into a numb sort of sadness. You don't think there's a word for that sort of feeling.  
Gaster should up after a while. He sat next to you for a while. Silent. Unmoving. You hated it.  
"Do something...." You mumbled. He looked at you with his usual blue grin. "Like what?" You shrugged. His smile didn't leave his face as it turned to the orange side of him. His eyes seemed to dull, and the smile that didn't leave, got a little sadder. He scooted closer to you. "Is there anything you want me to do Riley?" He asked, quieter, calmer, subdued.  
You laid there for a few minutes before shifting so that your head was in his lap, and you were partially curled around him. His hands rested on your head and shoulder. "Explain what's going on with me." You mumbled.  
"You lack entertainment," he said, it almost made you snort. "Your bored, and your mind is trying to give you something to do. Like when you imagined that fight, and burning the things and bodies. Your mind was giving you something to do, this place helped give it shape."  
"Who says that's my imagination?" You snickered. "And how would an empty white void give a thought shape."  
"How would a blank canvas get used?"  
"Someone uses it."  
"Exactly." The hole in his hand was noticeable as you pet your hair. "This is the canvas, your mind is the artist. The art just isn't permanent and gets washed away."  
"Like the charcoal..." You sighed. He nodded, and continued talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This in no way relates to my life, minus the feelings.


	75. Sometimes you shouldn't wish for more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your bored and try to get the place to its weird canvas thing.   
> You regret it.

It's stopped and you almost wished it hadn't.   
You were no longer surrounded by memories you'd forgotten. They stopped.   
You laid there, and stared upwards at nothing. What was there to stare at, if not nothing? Your mind tried to produce images of a clear blue sky, but they never lasted more than a few seconds. You tried to think of things for the place to give shape so you weren't so bored, but nothing seemed to work. 

Gaster keeps giving you the same look Papyrus used to give you. Curious. Analytical. Like you were some mystery that needed to be solved. You could tell him to stop, but something else was stopping you. What else was he supposed to do? Stare at nothing? No. That's boring. 

He said that you were starting to flicker, your soul was trying to return to your body or something. You didn't want to leave, not yet anyways. 

You stood there, staring out into the empty whiteness, thinking. Thinking about anything that came to mind. You could write very long opinionated papers on lots of subjects if you just remembered the stuff you had said in the beginning.   
The one you were currently thinking on, was the meaning behind soulmates. Why? No idea. The paper you would write would probably only be like, 4 pages times new roman 12 point font double spaced with a title page and works cited. Why? Because that's how you remembered writing a paper in high school. Why had you been thinking about high school? Because you were thinking about the numerous possibilities of what Ara could be doing while your down here in this timeless empty space with no real way to figure out what the fuck you were doing down here. Is it even below where you were? Where is 'here' in the first place? Nowhere. That's where.   
You wondered about Alex, how he was doing. Did he know that something happened to you? He probably did.... How long have you been here? Has it been years? Is he dead?  
You blinked and nearly screamed at the sight of his body hanging from an electrical cord. You tried to calm down as you stared at the body. This is not what you want right now.   
Just walk away. That's what Gaster said to do right? Walk away from it.  
You turned around, and froze. You were standing in the middle of a street with a rifle in your hands. Buildings on either side of you were crumbling. Cars rusted where they'd been left. You shifted your weight from foot to foot. You knew how this went. You didn't know how to get away from it.   
You raised the gun, aimed at a rooftop, and fired. Some dude fell over the top and plummeted towards the ground with a hole in his skull. Everything moved forward as you remembered it, and eventually came to the part you used to dream about so much, a few minutes after Alex dies in this one. 

You're hiding behind a wall of rumble, everything's silent, everything's still. Nobody's shooting. Nobody's moving. You take a deep breath, and slowly, quietly start to move. You move forward from your position, to the left, and through a hole into the next building, an office building. You crept along the wall till you got to the large broken window. You carefully got onto your stomach, and aimed the rifle out the window. You could see your comrades moving amongst the rumble, could see your enemies moving as well. You aimed at the one closest to you.   
Looking through your scope, you froze. This wasn't your fucking enemy. This wasn't how it went. This wasn't right.   
PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER.   
But how? What the hell is going on here. This doesn't happen here. You don't shoot the dead body of your brother as it moves about the streets. You looked for a new target as your heart and mind yelled at you to pull the god damn trigger and end the nightmare. This could only get worse.   
New target.   
Same thing.   
Everyone's turned into dead versions of your brother. They all resembled the various ways he died in 1046 resets.   
The one that stuck out to you the most, was the one from the war. His broken mangled body, covered in open wounds and blood, his leg and arm bent at an awkward angle, a hole in his neck.   
That was your fault.   
All of these were your fault.   
If only you'd been a better sister.   
If only you hadn't been so weak.   
If only you were a better comrade.   
If only you'd had the courage to pull the trigger on someone you'd thought was your friend.   
You aimed at the mangled terrifying version of your brother. Closed your eyes, took a deep breath, opened your eyes, and pulled the trigger.   
Only a second later, your mind registered what your body felt. Your back hit the floor as one of the dead zombie versions of your brother kicked you in the face. That's what happens when you don't check your surroundings after something changes. You get kicked in the god damned face by a zombie. 

Now probably isn't the time to wonder if you can die here. 

You shot the brother-zombie that had kicked you in the face, in the face. Then you shot the one next to it before scrambling up and making a very quick decision. You jumped out the window, and landed on a very buff brother-zombie. From the swelling of its neck, your pretty sure this one is from one of the times he hung himself. You shot it in the face.   
If anyone was going to get mad at you for disrespecting the dead, you'd stare them dead in the eye and say, "well I'm sorry, but I didn't want to join them."   
You snickered at your own stupid joke and started running through the ruined city.   
Did you mention that in 1046 resets, he died 1046 times? Meaning that there's ONE THOUSAND AND FORTY SIX FUCKING BROZOS. Which, translating into English: you're going to fucking die because your outnumbered 1046 to one. Which is not good. You don't want to die. You really don't.   
You started shooting as many as you could as they started to circle around you, closing in. You couldn't figure out what they were saying in their weird zombie drawl. You didn't want to know. They'd probably just be telling you what you were thinking when this all started.   
It's all your fault.   
The panic started to build in your chest as the got closer and closer. You could tell that you were running out of ammo.   
You saw the mangled body of your brother as it came forward. You aimed at his head, and pulled the trigger.   
.  
.  
.  
no ammo.   
You stumbled back and then jerked forward as you almost ran into a zombie. The one in front of you, blood dribbled out of its mouth. It's right arm was broken and twisted at a weird angle. He began to raise it. His empty, rotting white eyes stared down at you.   
As his arm came down, you ducked down and covered your head with your arms. When you expected the blow, it didn't come. Instead, you felt a boney hand cover your eyes and a boney arm wrap around your waist from behind.   
Gaster pulled you back into his lap and against his chest. "Shh, block it out, block it out," he said. You tried, but the hole in his palm made it extremely difficult to close your eyes against the frozen scene. The strange grate of his voice crackled in your ears. His hand shifted over your eyes a bit, the edge of the palm covering your eye, the feeling against your eyelashes made you close your eyes.   
He kept repeating the same thing over and over again. "Block it out, it's not real." It only helped a little bit, but made toy feel just a bit humiliated that your ass was getting beat by imaginary zombies.   
His chin rested on your shoulder. He was orange, you could tell by the way he was talking, by the way he was sitting. His arm tightened around you for a second before the one over your eyes fell away and joined the other around your waist. "You're fine," he said. "They can't hurt you anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea yea I know it's like ten hours late. I fell asleep contemplating if I should turn the ending into smut. I didn't obviously, but I thought about it.


	76. Almost time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost time for you to go  
> Gaster doesn't want you to.

Gaster's afraid for when you're going to leave. He doesn't want you too because he can't leave. And he doesn't want to be alone. You can understand the feeling, slightly.   
He reminds you of Papyrus with the way he cuddles, almost like he wants to wrap you up and never let you go... like Ara. His face would always somehow end up in your hair, you would always end up against his chest, listening to the very slow and faint beating of his soul.   
He isn't like you. He can't leave. He's trapped here.   
He freaks out every time you 'flicker.' He won't take his eye lights off of you. 

You can't look at him anymore. He looks so sad and scared now. You can understand, but... you want to leave /so so/ badly. The feeling is almost suffocating. The empty whiteness almost drove you insane. The memory play shit won't stop anymore. You want it all to end. 

Sometimes you feel someone's hand in yours, but there never is one. One time it squeezed, and you squeezed back and it disappeared.   
The hand is there right now, and all you can do is stare at yours. 

"Riley!" Gaster said from across the space. You looked up from your hand. "Huh?" He had that look on his face. Worried, scared. "Stop that. It's making you flicker." He said, looking away. You sighed.   
"Gaster.... I can't stay here forever. Y-"  
"Yea you can! I've been here forever! You can stay too."  
"I'm not like you, I'm just a soul, I have to return to my body at some point or it'll die, and I'll disappear anyways."  
"No! You don't have to leave."  
"Gaster, you're acting like a child." You scolded. This was how it always ended up. He was so adamant about you not needing to leave.   
"I won't let you leave." Oh yay. He's orange now. You sighed and stood up. "There's nothing you can do about it. It's gonna happen." You said as you turned around and made to walk away.   
"No!" You were frozen, everything felt weighed down. Your eyes widened in panic. This wasn't good. Papyrus did this when he was having a nightmare, but this was a lot stronger, a lot heavier. It hurt. "You're not leaving!" Footsteps behind you. You tried to attach that to anything in your mind to give you some form of defense.   
A combat knife formed in your hand. The white void turned into empty rainy streets.   
"I won't let you."  
You felt the magic left as he came up behind you, and you spun around on your heel. The butt of your blade connected with his head. You glared down at him. "You will /NOT/ stop me from returning home. I don't belong here, and you can't keep me here!"  
He stared up at you with wide blue eyes. He looked so... heartbroken.   
You turned around and started walking again. 

 

You eventually reached where you'd been. Gaster sat there, cross legged and his head in his hands. You felt surreal.   
You walked up and sat next to him. He didn't make any form of acknowledgement. You sat there and stared at your hand.   
"Yknow... this place is like a canvas.... You can think me up whenever you want, make me whatever you want." You said quietly. He glanced at you, then back at the ground. "I like the real thing better...."  
You turned towards him and hugged him. You could feel your time here getting shorter. "I'm sorry I hit you Gaster."  
"I'm sorry I want you to stay..."  
He turned in your arms and wrapped his own around you, pulling you to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder. The two of you stayed like that. 

You could feel yourself flickering now. His arms tightened around you for a second before they let go. You sat back on your haunches and smiled at him. "I won't forge-" you started, and were interrupted by him pulling you into a kiss. 

 

Beep.   
Beep.   
Beep.   
A hand is in yours, squeezing slightly.  
It smells like fresh fallen rain and antiseptic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ending kinda makes me tear up a bit. Nothing like fading back into existence after getting kisses by your void best friend.


	77. You're awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on how you're doin :P

They won't let you leave until they're sure you won't slip back into a coma. You've been out for four months. The doctors say that you have to go through rehab because of how damaged your leg got in the car accident. Broken in five places with torn muscles and tendons that haven't quite healed properly.   
You haven't tried to get out of the bed. Nobody would tell you if your friends in Ebbot knew about what happened. You suspected they didn't. Nobody would tell you if anybody had visited you either. You doubted that too since you didn't know a lot of people here to visit you in the first place.   
Alex was there when you woke up. He sticks around for all of the visiting hours besides food times. He buys you Wendy's whenever you don't want hospital food (which is like 100% of the time).   
Morison keeps checking up in you. You asked him about your phone. He says it was ruined in the accident. You want to talk to Papyrus, and you never thought to memorize his number.   
Some other man that you kind of recognize keeps stopping in the doorway. He looks familiar but you can't place his name or face. It seems like such a long time since you've seen him, if you have, and your 85% you have.   
The hospitals are boring and smell like antiseptic. You don't really want to be here, but you don't have a choice. 

You wonder what Gaster is doing now that he's alone.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry bout this chapter :/ it wasn't workin with me tonight. Hopefully tomorrows will be better.


	78. Crow Petrovich POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently he traveled from Ebbot to Bristel and we didn't know. :P

Alex says that I should wait a little longer before talking to you. Its a long and painful wait, watching my daughter suffer. I've stood in the doorway a few times, you gave me a weird look, like you don't recognize me. You'd probably give me a weird look if someone told you I was sitting where Alex was ten minutes ago, watching you sleep while he goes and gets food.  
You're just as restless as I remember you being. You'd fall asleep on the couch watching me and Alex play Halo, and you'd get this worried look. You were always twitching, especially your hands. You were twitching now, with that old worried look. Though it seemed a bit more pained than I remember it being.  
I reached out and brushed your hair away from your mouth, you twitched and your eyes shifted beneath your eyelids.  
I've always wondered how someone who is nothing like Lucinda, could look so much like her. Strawberry blonde hair, hazel eyes, thin, little below average height. You looked so much like you're mother, and yet you acted nothing like her.  
There was one thing you two did have in common - you both changed. She became a drunk and an addict, while you lost your happy childish demeanor. Your change was quicker than hers. She started drinking, then slowly found drugs. Yours was more instantaneous. You were happy and cheery and excitable one night, the next morning, you were tired, sad, and easily spooked. The doctors couldn't diagnose anything. You were just... damaged.  
In all honesty, I wouldn't have noticed if Alex hadn't pointed it out. My little girl was crumbling. I tried to be there for you more, protect you from your mother, make you happier. You'd wake up from a nightmare, and I'd cradle you in my lap. It was always such a sad sight.  
And then Ara happened, and you pulled away. Alex says that you've forgotten how I treated you. He thinks you've put up mental walls to block certain things out. He says that you don't even remember your own suicide attempt. Traumatic experiences are easier to block out.... But why me? What did I ever do?  
Alex walked into the room with three bags of Wendy's. I got up as he handed one to me. It's time for me to take my leave.  
He reclaimed the chair by your bed as I petted your head for a few seconds longer. Then I left, and he woke you up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's any inconsistencies with appearance, like eye/hair color/physique, please point them out. Merry Christmas Eve


	79. Aliens and milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously? Why is it always aliens? And what's wrong with milk eh Gerald?

It's numb and it hurts, like when your leg falls asleep. Except yours seem to have permanently fallen asleep. Or what the doctors say is true, and your tendons and muscles healed very very wrong. You think it's because of scar tissue. Scar tissue, when it forms, latches onto anything and everything and is out of alignment with the direction of the muscle fiber. Scar tissue can also continuously form and crawl up to other areas. So if you had a scar in the center of your back, the scar tissue could sprawl out. That's why you can get stitches and stuff. Not like, medical stitches, but those randomly painful spots. You learned this from a documentary you watched years ago when you were starting college and trying to figure out your major.  
But seriously. Your leg fucking HURT. You were also extremely skinny and lacked a bunch of body mass from being out of commission for four fucking months.  
Morison sat in a chair off to the side as the massage therapist worked your leg around. He was just sitting there and watching as you cringed at the discomfort. "Yknow cous, if you hadn't run off while crying this wouldn't be happening." He shrugged.  
"Would you shut the fuck up Morison? I really don't want you to rub it in. Not my fault the fucking truck was going 30 above the speed limit." You grit your teeth.  
"Breathe Riley. He's gonna tell you that if you don't breathe." Morison snickered, the therapist looked like he was about to say it himself but just shook his head.  
"Again, Morison, shut the fuck up." He chuckled and started flipping through a magazine like one of those ladies at a hair salon while they get their hair done. It made you snicker, and then grit your teeth as the therapist dug into a spot of really fucked up scar tissue. "Breath."

 

You laid on the couch, very adamant about not getting up. There was a documentary about... drum roll please....  
ALIENS.  
FUCKING ALIENS.  
WHY IS IT ALWAYS ALIENS.  
WHY CAN'T IT BE SOMETHING LIKE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS!?  
Wait... There's alien conspiracy theories about that too. AGH.  
You sighed and pressed your face into the throw pillow. It smelled like cinnamon.  
Cinnamon climbed up onto the couch and laid down against your neck. Rem, whom you've renamed Remedy, was curled against your chest, purring quietly and sleeping. The two cats had been ecstatic when you'd walked in through the door, if you hadn't been in a wheelchair, they probably would've knocked you over. Since then, Remedy hasn't wanted to leave your side, and Cinnamon insists on cuddling every time you sit down. It was endearing, but slightly annoying since Remedy seems to have gotten over her fear of water and seems to like sitting in the bathtub with you.  
Before the accident, you could have easily fallen asleep like this, with the tv on and your cats cuddling against you. But now, your almost afraid of going back to sleep. Partially because the weird dreams of being swallowed up by the inky goopy part of the void have increased, and the fear of never waking up again has also increased. Part of you wants to see if, by staying asleep longer through the nightmare of the inky black void eating you, can lead you to the white part and to Gaster. You feel bad for leaving him there all alone. Only upside to that is that the place won't drive you insane.  
Gerald walked through the front door with Victor. Gerald waved at you, "hey RJ, how you feelin?"  
You shrugged from your position on the couch. "Like I wanna die."  
Victor winced, "please don't. From what I've heard, people want you to live. And frankly, I like you. I'd like to keep liking the alive version of you." You chuckled and nodded, silently giving him your 'okay' that you won't die.  
Victor came and sat by your feet as Gerald walked into the kitchen. "Tea or hot coco?" He called back. Victor wanted tea. You choose off the menu. "Milk."  
"How about warm milk?"  
"But that'll make me sleepy."  
"Kinda the whole point."  
"Ugh fine you weirdo." You grumbled back at him. What was so wrong with just having milk? Nothing. That's what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  
> I realize now my mistake in my plan......  
> I know 99% of nothing about Physical Therapy....  
> Does anybody know anything bout it?  
> If so, please educate me in the comments. :P
> 
> Oh and uhh merry Christmas friends :P love you guys


	80. Unwilling

It's funny really.... Ever since you found out your phone was gone an you had zero ways of contacting your friends in Ebbot, you've been less motivated. Nothing seems fun anymore, except maybe watching Doctor Who buts that's beside the point. The point is, you don't find your old hobbies fun or interesting. Music really only seemed to be holding on by a thread. You'd think you have something new in your head, but only realize halfway through that it's that one commercial's theme.   
Most of the stuff you did involved a lot of walking around and running and being adventurous. You've already fallen multiple times trying to get up and play with Ginny. It's frustrating, and you can no longer find it in you to try, you don't want anymore injuries.   
You also never want to set foot into another god damned hospital ever again. If you actually had the choice, you would do exactly that and avoid the depressing hospital forever. But you CAN'T because you're a weak human that has to go through check ups and them go to physical therapy every other day of the week and you would really rather not see this guys face ever again if you don't have to.   
His name is Dr. Jack N. Jill. He is a 30 year old man that likes wearing a fezzes. Why? No idea. He's also ridiculously happy and it pisses you off. Why? Because he's happy that you're suffering and he gets payed for it to 'help' you get better. More like fixed if you weren't desperately 'trying' to avoid dark depressing thoughts. At least, that's how you see all of this. Dr. Jack N. Jill went up the hill and through you off of it, and then came strolling after and made some money off your suffering because your broken.  
Morison flicked the side of your head as the two of you waved goodbye to the Doctor. He pushed your wheelchair out of the room and down the hallway and out of the fuCKING HOSPITAL. You slouched in the chair and sighed with relief.   
"What has literally everyone told you about being a grump?" He asked as he pushed you towards the car. You glared up at him from your slouched position. "That I shouldn't otherwise this might never end, which I highly doubt."  
"Well, you shouldn't doubt it. You've gotta be motivated and happy about it."  
"Why should I be happy about it? He's making money because I'm suffering." He helped you into the passenger seat and then put the wheelchair in the trunk.   
"And what should that matter?" He asked as he got into the drivers seat and started the engine. "You should focus on recovering."  
"Yea... And that's all I can fucking do."  
"That's not tr-"  
"Says the one that follows me around everywhere and won't let me do anything you think is dangerous. Which is basically anything 10 and under. So really, yea, all I can fucking do is focus on recovering. Maybe that's not what I want to do. Maybe I don't want to recover, but hey! Look at this! I don't get a fucking choice! All because someone's making money and other people can't stay out of people's business and let them do their own shit." You sucked in a breath, having not really breathed through that.   
The car was silent for a bit, as Morison drove down the road. You stared out the window and at the dark gray sky. You wanted to tear them down, and tear down the disgustingly bright blue behind them. The stars could stay. They were pretty. They didn't judge. They didn't say anything, yet still offered guidance. You wished you could see them.   
Morison spoke after a while, quieter than his usual volume, slower than his usual speed. "Yknow.... It was that type of thing that got you into this mess. Harry saw you standing on the tv stand trying to reach the lightbulb and he was scared you were going to fall. So yea, we can't stay out of your business, but we also live with you. We take care of our roommates, and I take care of my family. Your my cousin, so forgive me if I want you to get better so that you can do what you want again. But until then, no, I won't stay out of your business."  
You stared out the car window in silence. You heard him sigh, and saw him shake his head in the reflection of the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funnily enough, that's how I view doctors. Yea, it's probably not fair to them. But I haven't been to one in years, and really, you gotta be kinda sadistic to give a crying child whos afraid of needles a shot.   
> I think this is a stupid question to ask but, did anyone notice my little nursery rhyme reference?? Lol
> 
> Thank you to those who commented on the last chapter about my questions with PT. if anyone else has input, go ahead. :P
> 
>  
> 
> I was about to go to bed after watching the Doctor Who Christmas special when I realized that I had completely forgotten about writing this chapter. Anyways!! Happy holidays!   
> (I think I'm addicted to Doctor Who)


	81. Ara's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come out come out wherever you are.

I set his phone down on my vanity, and sighed. I looked into the mirror. Electric blue eyes lined with exhaustion and worry stared back at me, my hair was in complete disarray, tangled and forming into a rat's nest. I grabbed my brush, and began to brush out the tangles, slowly, carefully. Just like I do your little friend in the basement.   
You won't answer your phone. You don't even know what's going on. Pity. I'm having quite a bit of fun. It is only a matter of time before you show up now, isn't it?   
I could have you back, aaaaallll to myself. Your little friend will go free, and you'll be mine forever. Perfect exchange for freedom isn't it? You for him. Him for you.   
He says he has no idea where you are, but I think, if I probe just a bit harder, suck it from the confines of his conscious, he'll remember. You must have told someone where you were going, right?   
And to make this even harder, your brother is missing too. He's probably with you, wherever you are. Maybe his family will know? How would you like that Riley? Hmm? Me tearing into your friends, /and/ your family. Just think, the two little toddlers will be so /TERRIFIED/ when someone breaks down their door. I giggled at my reflection. Oh, too bad I won't be there to see it. I'll be too busy hunting for you, my precious little gem. 

Come out come out wherever you are, my precious gem, Ara's waiting for you. Come home my sweet, I promise I won't hurt you. But if you don't... your precious friend might just die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow.... For some reason that all creeps me out. It really kinda depends on the way you read it. Kind of like a... witch plotting her revenge against the king and has his wife captive??? Something like that. Idk.


	82. Art

You looked at the sculpture and then back down at the drawing in your lap. It was very sketchy and messy, but it was realistic. You haven't drawn since you were living with your parents. It really has been a long time since you've actually drawn something. So you're starting over. Restarting your skill from the beginning.   
That's why you're here at the park drawing this abstract sculpture. It was kinda boring, sitting around and drawing. You aren't really the type of person, but you're bored and this is all you really can do.   
You erased a spot on the drawing for a highlight and then looked at it again. You liked it. Kind of. It was messy. Kind of messed with you a but it was nice.   
"Looks good." Someone said over your shoulder. You jerked in surprise and looked up. Morison was standing there, and he chuckled. "You having fun?" He asked.   
"Why would I be having fun? I'm sitting at a park doodling." I said, sarcasm laced my voice.   
"Why wouldn't you be having fun? Doodling is fun. Parks are fun."  
"You obviously don't know sarcasm."  
"And you're having fun." He smirked.   
"Where's my food?"  
"In the car." His smirk turned into a grin and you pouted.   
"Asshole."   
He wheeled you away from the sculpture and towards the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhhhhhh


	83. Aliens have been here since the beginning *weird magic hands*

"Come on, there you go, just a little further." He said as you put on foot in front of the other and tried to support your weight with your left as much as the right. It hurt quite a bit.  
Another thing about scar tissue, it can hold memories. Or impressions of traumatic and painful experiences. And yours hurt. A lot. You can't exactly get your mind off of why you got into the crash.  
"Almost there," Dr. Jack N. Jill said. "One more ste- Woah!" He caught you as your leg gave out and you fell. He slowly lowered you to the ground and you sighed. "You alright RJ?" He asked quietly.  
"No." You said, staring at the ceiling.  
"Is something wrong?"  
"Besides the fact that this is extremely painful? Nope." You could almost snort if it was sarcasm.  
"Okay... do we need to get you new pai-"  
"More medication isn't what I need. I've already got too much of that with the other fucking therapist putting me on antidepressants and other bs I don't trust." You snapped. He put his hands up in surrender.  
"Maybe another sessions with Ms. Yana? She did tell me that it'd be a good idea if you went in again." He sat on the floor across from you. "Or, we can back up a little and work on flexibility."  
"Stretching and making it so that I can reach my toes isn't going to fix the fact that it hurts."  
"Stretching might. It'll loosen the muscles."  
"Scar tissue isn't exactly muscle that can be fixed by stretching."  
"Then another session with Ms. Yana."  
"Sure." You sighed as he got up and helped you up and to your wheel chair.  
"By the way, how do you know so much about scar tissue? Not many people would care to know what you do." He cocked an eyebrow at you as he began to write stuff down on his little chart that was pretty much '101 things about RJ Petrovich'.  
"Documentaries. When I lived at the last place I did, I was a night owl, so when I wasn't sleeping or out in the daylight, I'd be sitting at home watching documentaries. Most of them were about aliens, but there were some that would be on at different times than I regularly watched." You said, wheeling over to him as Morison came in.  
"Aliens? Is that what everyone is obsessing about now?" Your cousin asked. Sneaky eavesdropper. You shrugged.  
"Aliens control the universe." You said matter of factly. "They've been here since the dinosaurs. They know everything." You did a weird jazzy/piano playing type thing towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOURS  
> HOURS LATE  
> WHY IS THIS HAPPENING  
> Once Upon A Time is why. I'm binging the show since I'm on Winter break. It's almost one am here. I keep almost forgetting to update.  
> BUT I SHAN'T.  
> I SHALL BE OVERLY DRAMATIC AND NOT FORGET ABOUT UPDATING
> 
> :P good night. Or good morning since its pretty much 1:00


	84. Oh hey it's a nightmare

/You punched him in the face and then kicked him to the ground. He tried to get up, but you pulled out your pistol and shot him in the head.   
Tears streamed down your face as you turned around and shot another through the chest. These men killed your party. It was their turn to die.  
The last three alive turned and ran. You knew this wreckage better than they did. You've been camping here for weeks, scouting the place out. So instead of following them directly, you turned and ran down an alley. The alley turned into a wall that you easily scaled. You turned right and sprinted down the road.   
You could see then running on the other side of a wrecked wall you were following. You gained some distance, skidded to a stop, spun around, and shot an explosive hidden in a wall. The wall fell behind them and you ran through a collapsed wall and slid to a stop a good ten feet in front of them.   
You pointed your pistol at one of them, and held a grenade behind your back. They all pointed their own guns at you. You pulled the pin on the grenade as you pulled the trigger. The grenade dropped from your hand. You turned and ran as the one you shot fell to the ground. The other two have chase.   
You threw yourself behind a chunk of rock as the grenade blew up beneath their feet./

You sat up in bed with a gasp and almost hit your head on the person who had shaken you awake.   
"Hey RJ, RJ, dude chill. You don't need to kill anybody." Harry chuckled. You looked at him like he'd grown another head. That was a strangely ironic thing to say after that dream.   
"Haha yea... uhhh what time is it?" You said and shifted to look at him.   
"Roughly 10 am." He grinned. "You've also got nothing to do today so I think you should go back to bed. Get some proper sleep where you're not crying."  
Your face turned red and you looked away and wiped your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still binging Once Upon A Time :P


	85. Alphas POV

You're not responding to any messages and we /NEED/ you to tell us where Ara kept you. She's got Papyrus. Why won't you answer your damn cell phone? Records don't show you ever changing your number but... they do show an accident you had. It also says that you're out of the hospital and okay. So it doesn't explain why you're not answering your phone.   
I also..... might not tell anybody about your accident. It does explain four months of radio silence, but I don't want to get anybody's hopes up, or anger anybody, or worry anyone, especially Papyrus... if we get him back.   
I dialed your phone number from my office again, and sat there waiting as it rang.   
Voicemail. Again. Guess I might as well leave one.   
"Hey Riley, it's Alphys. There's been an accident. Ara has Papyrus. We need you to tell us where she held you so that we can maybe find him. Please call back as soon as you can.... I'll call you again if we've found anything, or get him back. Please call us.." I hung up and sighed.   
Four months of radio silence explained, another one unexplained. Why weren't you answering your phone? Your records said that you were fine and out of the hospital, only dealing with some PT, so couldn't you get a new one or something? We all just wish you would answer, or /SOMETHING/.   
Yes, I could technically drive down to Bristel and see you myself, but I also have a job. I might not be able to get clearance to go out of town to hunt you down and find you. Sans would question where I went, so would Undyne. I can't do anything...


	86. Activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerald convinces (you hardly put up a fight) you to take dance lessons with him.   
> Then there's a time skip

"You're an artsy person, right RJ?" Gerald asked from where he laid on the floor. He was on the floor because he felt like it, you'd already asked.   
"Yeah. Why?" You glanced at him from your sketchpad. Since he hasn't moved in almost an hour, and says that he won't move for a while longer, you've decided to draw him.   
"I found a flyer for dance lessons. Victor already knows how to, so I was wondering if you'd do it with me. Dance is a form of art, and it could help with getting you on your feet and stuff." He said, and then sneezed afterwards. You sketched his feet.   
"Okay... But what type of dance?"   
"Don't know. We can figure out later."  
"Who said I agreed?"  
"Your interest."   
He moved to sit up and you shot him with a rubber band. "Lay back down. I'm not finished. And why does my interest in this dance thing mean yes? What if I already know a couple dances?"  
"Why are you drawing me? And like I said, we can figure out what type of dance to learn. There's no law saying you have to do a specific one." He said, laying back down.   
"Because I can. And fine. I guess I'll do you're stupid dance thing. At least I won't have Dr. Jack N. Jill around."  
"So it's true that you don't like him?"  
"I don't like most doctors."  
He nodded. "Tell me when you're done. I'm hungry."  
"Same. And it'll probably be another ten minutes."

 

**~~~~~~~~**

 

You sat outside the dance studio with your headphones in and watched the card go by. So far, there's been 16 red, 20 white, 3 blue, and 9 black.   
You weren't actually at the studio to dance, you're just taking a break from walking. You and Gerald had indeed started the dance lessons. Its been almost two months.  
First it'd been ballroom dancing because you thought it'd be easy. It would've been if you'd had a bit more stability, but you're passed that. It had gotten easier with time anyways. Then he bribed you into trying hip hop. Why? He said it looked easy and fun. That's what the two of you were in now (he didn't realize at the time that that meant doubling up the classes, now he slightly regrets it. You don't. You're having fun).   
Well, not right at this moment. Right at this moment, your getting up. Victor had just came out of the comic bookshop next to the dance studio. You didn't go in with him because you don't read hand held comics, you read web comics. He called you lazy and cheap and you just shot a rubber band at his head.   
By the way, where were all those rubber bands coming from? You don't remember shoving so many in any of your clothes pockets. Maybe it was Gaster.... He hasn't sent you any notes in a long time.   
Victor handed you a small stock of comics and gave you a smirk. "Read those. I guarantee you'll enjoy them." He said. You looked at them as the two of you began walking. "Not right now dummy. You'll trip over your own two feet if you do." He took the comic books back from you and put them in his bag.   
"What are they anyways?" You asked. You hadn't caught the title, you tend to not look at titles before reading things when people shove them at you and tell you to read them.   
"Comic books. Duh." He smirked.  
"That's not what I mean asshole." You shot another rubber band at him. "I mean, what are they called? And what's it about?"  
"Dragonlance. It's an old series. And I don't remember what it's about besides the fact that I think it's got dragons... depends on something I don't remember." He scratched his head as he thought. "Pretty sure the writers came up with it on a car ride and during a "Dungeons and Dragons" game." He shrugged. "Just read it. 'M pretty sure you'll like it."  
You rolled your eyes with a huff. "Fine. But if I don't like it, I get to laugh at you and remind you I don't read paper comics."  
"Oh but you will young padawan. You will."  
"Enough with the Star Wars references dude! God I can understand why Gerald wants to slap you every time."  
"Awe am I annoying you?"  
"More than a skeleton ever could."  
He groaned. "Would /you/ shut up about skeletons!? If I'm so bad with Star Wars references, you're just as bed with your necromantic love affairs with the dead!"  
The dude walking in front of you turned around and gave two the most disturbed and freaked out look you'd ever seen. Then he rushed around a corner. The both of you waited a second before failing to hold in laughter, and you almost lost your balance.   
Victor snickered. "Can't believe your falling for me. I thought you were in love with someone else."   
You shot him with another rubber band as you bent down to retie your shoelaces. "Can't believe you think everyone's falling for you when they're bending down to tie their shoes."  
He huffed. "Yea whatever. Want a piggyback ride for your 'glorious victory' or whatever?"   
"Is Gerald around?"  
"...across the street..."  
"Dude. You're dating him. There's no reason to try and make him jealous."  
"Who says I'm trying to make him jealous."  
You smirked. "Sexual tension I saw yesterday when you came to watch us dance, and you just offered me a piggyback ride. You don't usually offer anyone piggyback rides."  
He looked at you with a blushing face. "Sexual tension? What sexual tension? There was none!" He rushed out.   
"Liar liar imma light your pants on fire."  
He made a strangled noise, "there was none! We had sex la-"  
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW." Now you were the one blushing as you got up. "And yea, I'll take that piggyback ride. My leg hurts."

You fell asleep on the piggyback ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yerps!!!  
> Happy new year guys!!!


	87. Catnip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerald dumps catnip on the floor. You find something you should've found a long time ago.

You left your bedroom and went downstairs to get breakfast. Harry was at the stove flipping pancakes, Morison was getting coffee, Jimmy was typing on his computer in the middle of the floor, and Gerald was nowhere to be seen. You yawned and ruffled Jimmy's hair as you walked past to get your own coffee. He slapped his hand in your general direction. "Don't do that," he mumbled.  
"Ooo, I wonder what has you so focused." You snickered. Morison handed you your coffee.   
"School stuff."  
"Finals week?"  
"No but almost. That's in two weeks. This is my music theory project. Don't ask, not gonna explain." He said rather quickly.  
"Ah, I gotcha. Have fun with that. Though you might want to move off the floor...." You grinned.  
"Later."  
You shrugged and went over to the table, and sat down in your spot. The coffee was black and bitter. If you weren't already sitting down, you'd put some sugar and cream in it, but since you are sitting, you'll just have to deal with it.   
Gerald walked in and tossed a box at you. "Have fun with that and don't hate me when your cats get high." He said with a grin as he sat across from you.  
You stared at the box then looked at him as you processed what he said. "Wait what? Did you just give me catnip? What the hell dude!" He laughed as you tossed the box back at him. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his lap.   
"Oh? Declining it then? Guess I'll just give it to your cats then." He opened the box and you stood up from your chair.  
"No! Don't give my cats catnip dammit! I don't need two addicts as my pets!" You tried to reach across the table and snatch the bag in his hand away, but he got up out of his chair and stepped away. You growled in your throat and slipped under the table. He stepped away and raised the catnip above his head. You tried to jump up and get it, but he just kept moving away as you chased him around the kitchen.   
Then he tripped over Jimmy and fell on his back, and.... The fucking catnip is all over the floor. Jimmy cursed and grumbled as he finally got off the floor. Gerald rubbed the back of his head, and you threw your hands in the air. "Fuck it then. I ain't cleaning that up. They can get high if they want to." You turned around and left the kitchen.   
"Hey, since you're going upstairs and'll end up coming back down for pancakes, can you grab my phone from my room?" Morison called after you. You huffed out an affirmative and made your way up the stairs and into his room.   
You turned on the light and looked around. His room was pretty clean, minus the few clothes on the ground. His laptop was on his desk, and his phone was plugged into it. You walked over and unplugged it, turned to leave, and froze when you saw the screensaver as the device woke up from being unplugged from it's charging source.   
This wasn't his phone.  
This was yours.   
And you'd missed a shit ton of messages, calls, and voicemails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo yay!!


	88. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are hurt. Very much hurt

You scrolled through all of the text messages, skimming through them. None of them were good. None of them were happy. As you got further into the messages, the sadder you became.   
They also seemed to pile up starting from...  
the day you got into the crash? Started with Papyrus.   
That's also when the missed calls, and voicemails started to pile up. 

Voicemail 1  
papy the dragon  
April 30th, 20XX 3:17  
"Hey Riley. Just callin cuz I got a weird feeling.... Call me back when you can. Hope everything's alright. Hope you're alright. See ya later babe. Love you."

Voicemail 57  
Sans  
May 22th, 20XX 7:49  
"Papy's in the hospital. He passed out. He hasn't woken up for two days. Undyne says it's because he hasn't been eating or sleeping. Which is true. I know you probably don't care. But I needed to tell you anyways. Maybe it'll get you to come back...... Probably not.."

Text 289  
papy the dragon  
May 27, 20XX 6:53  
[babe.... Come home. Please... I miss you and your silence is freaking me out

Voicemail 198  
Alph  
August 30th, 20XX 5:55  
"Riley, we need your help. We think Papyrus's been taken by Ara. We need to know where you were taken. Please."

Voicemail 218  
Sans  
October 5th, 20XX 4:15  
"He's back... He's alive... No thanks to you.... Maybe it was a good thing you left. If you're so selfish to not help when someone is kidnapped by your /girlfriend/, maybe you shouldn't be in my brother's life."

You kept scrolling through more and more of them as they got sadder and the tone changed. They changed from wanting you to come back, to doubting you ever would, to thinking you didn't even care anymore.   
"Uhhmm... RJ..? You've been here for a while. Are you o-"   
"YOU LYING BASTARD!" You yelled at Morison as you turned towards him when he stepped in through the door. "Why would you lie to me!?" His eyes traveled to the phone in your hand and they widened.   
"RJ, I... I swear I was gonna tell you when you were better."  
"There's messages from seven months ago! And they get worse! They think I don't care and that I'm never coming back! I promised I would!"  
"RJ please. I was gonna tell you when you weren't in therapy and stuff. I just..." He looked down at the ground.   
"You just what Morison? Weren't gonna tell me for the next month or so?" You wiped the tears from under your eyes. "Things are worse than when I left! They think I don't care! At /ALL/. I don't even know if I can fix it!" You clutched your phone closer to him and shoved your way past him and down the stairs.


	89. Emphasize on the "could've done something"

You stomped down the stairs and rubbed the tears off your face. Your chest hurt. Like right around the area you'd call your heart. You were angry, and sad, and betrayed. You can't believe he did that to you. He lied to you, and hid something important from you. Being busy wiping your eyes and face and being a sobbing mess was certainly distracting and you didn't notice till you walked right into him.   
You walked into Alex's arm and he pulled you into a hug. His hand started carding through your hair. "Was this a bad time?" He asked. Morison came down the stairs, and you felt Alex look up.   
"He lied to me... I could've done something and now I can't because he /lied/ to me."   
"RJ, please, I was gonna tell yo-" Morison started  
You shoved away from Alex and spun around to face Alex on the stairs. "When it was too damn late! And it already is! I could've told them what happened /months/ ago. I could've helped them find Papyrus when he was taken by my ex. I could've /done/ something for once and fix it but I can't because you-" you jabbed your finger at his chest- "lied to me thinking everything was going to be okay. But, news flash Morison! Everything's not okay! Its 10 times worse and I don't know how in supposed to fucking fix it so that I can go home." You stepped back and turned away, wiping at your face. Alex put his hand on your shoulder.   
"Don't blame it all on him. He was just thinking about what would stress you out the least, since you were dealing with the whole car crash thing." It was extremely tempting to judo flip him over the couch, but you didn't, because he's your brother and you just shouldn't.   
"It would've been better if he'd have given it to me when I woke up Alex. They didn't think I hated them four months ago, and that I didn't care about them. Papyrus didn't disappear four months ago. He disappeared in August. And hey, because I didn't help find him because /He/ hid my phone, Sans doesn't want me around and there hasn't been another fucking call from Papyrus. Yea. Hiding my phone was a good thing." You ended your rant with sarcastic venom and walked out the house. You personally couldn't stand being in the same room as someone who betrayed you like that. There were things you could've done and this would've never happened and you wouldn't be considering ditching Bristel to either go back to Ebbot, or go find some new home and try and forget all of this and start over. You'd probably do the former because there may be something to fix. All you need... is a car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short. It's 2am and my dog is on steroids and antibiotics, has to pee a lot, and has hip dysplasia.   
> So! On a better note, I fixed last chapter so the details make more sense (time wise) and match with what happened here. Have fun! I'm finally doing something interesting again!! :D
> 
> Good night.


	90. Everything happened on your birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all fun and games till someone makes a Star Wars reference

You stared down into the depths of your cookies and cream milkshake. Alex sat across from you with his own milkshake.   
"So... The gears in your brain are turning. What's going through your head sis?" He asked after taking a sip of the stuff, his head in his hand.   
"There may still be something I can fix out of that entire shitball of asshattery." There's a cookie stuck in your straw....  
"And you're going to do something? How?"  
"Go there myself." Stupid fucking cookie, get out! You want your damn milkshake!  
"How though?"  
"Drive."  
"You need a car."  
"I'll buy one."  
"Who says anyone's gonna let you? The last time you left in a fit of emotion, you almost died."  
"I say their gonna let me. There's nothing preventing me from getting a car, and quite frankly, nobody can really stop me. Y'know, free will and all." You finally got the cookie out of the straw and happily sucked up a mouthful of milkshake. Alex didn't look impressed.   
"Okay then. Say you get there, then what'll you do?" He asked. You stopped.   
You honestly had no idea what you'd do once you got to Ebbot. Improvise maybe? You have no idea, and it was clearly evident in the way you looked at your milkshake since Alex sighed heavily.   
"Thought so. How about, you-" he pointed at you, a grin starting to come to his face- "forget about this for a while, and enjoy your birthday, hmm? Sound like a plan Ri?"  
Did you forget to mention that everything just so happened to happen on December 6th? Aka the day you were torn from the warm safe confinements of your mother who turned out to be a psycho. Yay. Hallelujah.   
You sighed and looked up at him. "Fine. Now why do you look all smug?" It's true, he had the smuggest look you'd ever seen on him. You wanted to remove it.   
"Oh, just thinking about how you'd react."  
"To what?"  
He shrugged and motioned towards the door with a grin. "Dad. Aka the man who gave his sperm to our mother."  
You turned around towards the door of the restaurant. Standing there was a man who could only really be in his forties or fifties, but was probably in his sixties. He had salt and pepper wiry hair underneath one of those French burette thingys (at least you think that's what they're called. You're probably wrong). You watched him as he talked to the waitress, and then you turned back to Alex and frowned at him. "That's dad? I thought he was dead..."  
Alex smiled. "Nope! Not dead, just divorced, and considered dead to our mother." You nodded and looked up at the man as he came and stood next to the table you were at. He smiled down at you.   
Huh. Same eyes as you. You'd always thought you had more of your mother's eyes, but it looks like you don't.   
"So..." You started, he politely cut you off.   
"I am your father, ye-"   
You slapped your hands on the table and stood up, pushing the chair back. "That's it. I'm done here. Nope. Nope. I'm done. Fucking Star Wars. I'm outta here. Have fun." You turned and started walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psssssssst!! Pssst!! It's 90 chapters omg!! :P


	91. Oh he really is

"Riley sit down. We need to talk." Alex said as you walked away. You huffed and turned back towards the table where him and your 'father' stood. You weren't entirely sure he was your father. He didn't look anything like what you remembered. He also didn't even look upset about you getting up and walking away after the Star Wars reference.   
You went and sat down as he pulled up a chair. "Are you sure he's our father? He looks nothing like what I remember." You asked Alex. He looked at you like you'd grown a third head.   
"You actually remember him?"  
"Yea. He had brown hair, green eyes, one was slightly higher than the other, rough hands, long legs, a moderate amount of muscle, and had a stern voice." You leaned back and shrugged before motioning to the man next to you. "He doesn't have brown hair, and one eye isn't higher than the other. He's smaller, and has a kinder voice. Unless there's legal documentation to prove it, I'm not buying it."  
"That's what aging does to you." The man chuckled. "It makes you look old and flabby."  
You looked at him. "Dad also had crooked teeth. You don't." You almost regret saying that since he literally spits out his teeth.  
"Dentures. I got most of my teeth pulled after your mother and I divorced. Mainly because I'd gotten punched in the face by the dude she was having an affair with." He put his teeth back in his mouth.   
"That's kinda disgusting.... The affair and the fact that you can spit your teeth out." You fake shivered in disgust, and ordered another milkshake when the waitress came by.   
He looked at you for a minute, then his brow creased in a frown. You blinked at him. "What? Is there something on my face?"   
"The scar on your right cheek. That was from her ring."  
Okay.... Guess he was your father because you've literally told noone what really happened to get it. You just said the you were whacked with a tree branch.   
"Yea.... And I guess that proves that. Uhhh.... Long time no see... dad?" You broke off into laughter at your own strange awkwardness. The other two chuckled as well. "Now please. No more surprises. I think I've had enough of them today."  
"Aww so we can't do any bonding time where I take you to movie?"  
"Not unless you tell me the movie."

Since when was he ever this nice.... You don't remember him ever being this nice to you. He always told you to just stay in your room or go stay at someone else's home. This is unfamiliar.   
Your head hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realizes that you've met both your parents on your birthday.


	92. Please Eat

You sat on the couch and stared at the ceiling. You were trying to remember any of the times your father had been a decent person besides discreetly protecting you from your mother. It was hard and making your head hurt. There wasn't much to remember, and the more you tried, the more your headache grew. Until the point you just gave up (for now).  
You pulled your phone out from your (Papyrus') hoodie pocket and started scrolling through the tons of texts you haven't completely read. 

Text 199  
Sans  
May 19th, 20XX 5:34  
[Riley, please, we need you to come back. For Papyrus' sake.   
He's stopped eating, and sleeping.   
He won't do anything anymore.   
He's just sitting there... waiting for you to come back.  
Please.   
Undyne says that if he keeps it up he'll dust.]

May 19th, 20XX 6:54  
[The least you could do is answer you know.   
Just let him know you're still alive or something.   
Maybe you just don't care anymore....]

You sat there and stared at the messages before sighing. There's a voicemail from a few days after this say Papyrus was in the hospital but alive. You kinda felt like crying. That was your fault. He'd done that because of /you/. Because he was waiting for /you/. It hurt your heart just as much as your head did.   
Or maybe it was your soul? Don't know. Where does the soul even reside in the human body? Don't know that either. 

Your fingers tapped an imaginary beat as you sat there and thought. You wrote better when you were emotional. Maybe you could write something. You've been meaning to get back in the habit of playing again. Outside of the shows, that is.   
You got up and searched for paper, a pencil, and a flat surface to write on.   
Flat surface: coffee table.   
Pencil: pen works.   
Paper: kitchen drawer. There were only a few pieces left but it'll work.   
You sat down on the floor next to the coffee table and stared at the paper, pencil in mind.   
You thought.   
And thought.   
And thought.   
Before putting the pencil to the paper and writing. 

If only I could love you enough to give you what you need   
If only I could be for you the hand that feeds  
Cause I know you can only starve so much  
till you like how it feels  
Sitting on a throne of bones  
Staring at that cold meal

It's not your body that I love  
But it's the shell you're inside of  
And you're killing it, you're killing  
The only piece if you I can touch  
It's not your body that I need  
But that's what sleeps next to me  
And you're killing it, you're killing it  
You're killing it  
Please eat

If only I could make you believe you deserve everything   
Every spoon and bite, anything, you want to eat  
Cause I know you can only starve so much   
Before you'll die  
There's parts of you already gone  
I can never revive

It's not your body that I love  
But it's the shell you're inside of  
And you're killing it, you're killing  
The only piece if you I can touch  
It's not your body that I need  
But that's what sleeps next to me  
And you're killing it, you're killing it  
You're killing it  
Please eat

 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as the door open. You jumped a bit before crumpling the paper and throwing it at the one who just came in through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song belongs to Nicole Dollanganger. It's called "Please Eat"


	93. Chapter 93

The bar was dimly lit and if you hadn't done this a thousand times, you probably would have failed at plugging your keyboard in. The others were setting up too. Yours was easiest since all you had to do was pull the piano out of its case, unfold the legs, and then plug it in. The others had to do tuning.  
You looked out over the bar goers. It wasn't busy. There weren't many people here, but there would be soon. It was a Saturday after all. Party night. Bunny would be out bar hoping with Barren, unless they'd finally gotten together. Maybe that wouldn't have changed anything.  
It wasn't the set up of the monster friendly bar that reminded you of Grillby's. But what was it? Was it the monster friendly atmosphere? Or was I the fact that you were playing for them like you used to?  
You sighed and rested your hand on the piano and accidentally pressed on the keys. You winced at the melancholy sound and looked back out at the bar. Some people had looked up at the disturbance. Gerald had looked over as well. You looked away and got off the stage.  
You went to the bar and ordered a drink. Or more like asked the bartender to surprise you. That's typically how it works with you unless you've been to the place more than once and had a drink there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short. It kinda fought me the entire time and I didn't know what else to do.   
> Btw anyone know what type of drink she would like??


	94. Who's up at four am to answer text messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently you are.

For some reason you expected a call from Papyrus.   
At 1 am.   
Your laying on your bed, on your side, and facing the door. You weren't looking at the door. You were looking next to your pillow. That's where your phone was. It had a green light telling you it was completely charged.   
You laid there, and watched your phone.   
And then you realized that he was never going to call.   
The last voicemail he'd left was from Berry's phone, and it was from about a week before you discovered your phone. He said he wasn't going to call you anymore.   
He didn't believe you would ever respond. Didn't believe you would ever return, even after being told that Ara had been taken into custody. Tears burned your eyes as you turned away. There was nothing you could do. Not until you got a car, which, the other guys won't let you do.   
You curled into the fetal position and covered your mouth with your hands as you stifled a sob. You tried to imagine what it would be like to have him here now, with you... but that would never happen because you just can't force yourself to press send on the messages you type out. But you want to tell him face to face that you're sorry.   
What were you sorry for? None of this was really your fault. You're not the one who was at fault for the crash. You're not the one that hid your phone. But you're the one who went into a coma for four months.   
Four months.   
And then another four to find your phone.   
Eight months total.   
You could have done something. You could've gotten a new phone with the same number. All those calls you missed while you weren't in a coma, you could've gotten.   
But you didn't. You didn't do anything. And this is the consequence. 

2 am.   
You're still crying. Though not sobbing. You're staring at your phone again. Maybe someone else will call. Maybe you could explain the situation to them.   
A tear slid from your eye and onto the bridge of your nose, pooling there before slipping off the edge and falling onto your pillow. It felt kinda weird where the tear had been, so you wiped it. 

3 am.   
Cinnamon has curled up against your stomach, and Remedy has chosen to lay against your back. They're both purring. It's almost calming. You can feel the purrs vibrate through your body.   
Your phone vibrates and you flinch, having not expected it at that moment. The green light turned to a blinking blue. You reached out and grabbed it, pressing the power button to wake it up. You almost started crying again.   
It was just an email. Nothing important.  
You put the phone to sleep again and were about to set it down before it vibrated in your hand. Curiosity and hope got the better of you, and you checked.   
It was a text from Barren. 

barren  
December 10th, 20XX 3:46  
[sooooo.... you ever gonna send that baseball bat?]

You sat there and debated. It's almost 4 am. Should you respo- yes you're going to fucking respond. 

[depends on if you need it or not]

There was a long period of silence.   
And then you got eight messages from an overexcitable bundle of energy. 

bunby  
December 10th, 20XX 3:53  
[WHAT  
THE  
ACTUAL  
FUCK  
YOU  
FUCKING   
BITCH  
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU]

[dicking around with hospital bills]

That honestly seemed like the best thing you could say right now. Because you have been. Kind of. More like you've been reaching for your deductible. It would also make her a little less angry at you and give you a way to start explaining.... If she let you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo!!
> 
>  
> 
> Actually, forget about that "woohoo". I go back to school in 14 hours. *sob sob*


	95. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tray and explain to bunby

"So what you just told me pretty much equals you almost dying. Correct?" Bunby asked. You chuckled into the phone.  
"Pretty much. I don't really have any recollection of actually crashing, just what people have told me, and the pictures of my car. But yea. I almost died because some idiot ran a red light." You smiled as you tugged on your shoes. For some reason, almost dying amused you. Maybe because you have died? Or because the actual trauma has passed.  
"So you almost died and went into a coma for four months... What was it like?" She sounded so curious. Not even a little bit sad about the matter.  
"Empty, boring, and a whole lot of nothing."  
"So you were in a coma, but were still conscious?" She sounded a bit confused.  
"Uhhh... No... I didn't have any brain activity till about a week before I woke up. It was more of a... A piece of me had broken off of my main self and found a place of refuge. If that makes any sense." You frowned at the door before opening it and going off the porch and starting your walk. Gerald would catch up later.  
"Kind of... Like... How could a piece of you break away from main you and go somewhere else?"  
The sky was blue, and birds flew across it. There was snow on the ground. Fresh footprints crisscrossed all across. The blue of the sky and the white of the snow reminded you of Sans. This was his palette. You crouched down next to a pile of uncrushed snow and drew two large circles. Inside the circles you placed a pair of stars. Underneath the eyes, you drew a cartoony smile. There. Now there was a Sans in a pile of snow. You kept walking.  
"Y'know how monsters can pull out someone's soul and all? Think of it like that. Just instead of a monster pulling it out, think of the soul extracting itself from like, a poison or something, and moving somewhere safer while the body recovers. It's like a fail safe or a back up plan. I didn't know it happened until I realized I wasn't dreaming." You scratched your head and remembered how the black goop pretty much ate you. It still gave you shivers.  
"Wasn't dreaming?"  
"Uhhhh yea... It's kinda complicated and weird and if I said it you'd probably call me crazy." You grinned as you stopped at a crosswalk.  
"You just told me your soul left your body. The damage is done missy." She snorted from the other side of the line.  
"And I don't have a logical explanation. Maybe astral projection or something. But that doesn't really have anything to do with the soul, does it?" You could hear Ginny's laughter from the park up ahead.  
"No idea. Don't even know what it is."  
"Get with the times woman. We've got magic in the world now. Learn it." You jokingly snapped.  
Footsteps behind you. You looked over your shoulder and saw Gerald jogging to catch up. You waved at him before looking back in front of you.  
"Okay Bunby. I gotta go. Babysitting time. I'll talk to you later." You said. She said goodbye as well. You hung up and pocketed the phone.  
Ginny saw you from the playground and jumped off of it. You turned to Gerald as she ran over. "If we do anything her parents wouldn't approve of, don't tell anyone, otherwise I'll gut you like a duck. What happens between us, stays between us." He raised his hands in surrender and nodded with a smile.  
"Alright, I can respect that. She's gotta live a little."  
You grinned and turned back to Ginny as she lightly ran into you and hugged you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might try and do a one shot thing. A: to help me get better at writing. And b: because I get bored easily. Idk like message me prompts or whatever if you want. :P
> 
> (school started.... I'm still dreading the day I have to walk onto aims' campus though)


	96. What's going on

/Tick.   
Tock.   
Tick.   
Tock. 

You imagined the sound of the grandfather clock at the end of the hallway. It was broken, and made no sound. Permanently stuck at 6:24. You liked those numbers. 6-2=4. 6=2+4. You liked numbers that did that.   
You drew a line on your page. A page filled with many lines, and shapes. You were drawing the hallway. It's long, and has lots of interesting shadows. You don't know why you decided to draw it. 

As a matter of fact, you don't even know where you are. You don't remember ever having been to a place like this. Nor do you remember ever doing a perspective drawing of the hallway you were sitting in. You'd always been terrible at perspective. 

You looked down at the drawing, and found a completely different one from what you'd been looking at. You looked back up, expecting to see the grandfather clock. That's not what you saw. Instead, you saw the ocean, and on your paper, a drawing of you and Papyrus. You frowned. This was strange. Weren't you just in a hallway? How'd you get on the beach?  
Then all of that disappeared all together, sketchbook and all. You stood in inky blackness. You looked down. The ground isn't trying to eat you. You looked around and searched for any sign that something bad was going to happen.   
Nothing happened.   
Nothing changed.   
You turned in a circle.   
Nothing changed.   
You sat down.   
Nothing changed. 

You knees hurt. Like they'd been cut open or something. You looked at them, and found them bloodied. They almost looked like the scrapes you'd gotten when you'd learned how to ride a bike. Same as your elbows when you looked.   
Slowly, every piece of you started to hurt. You felt the pains of getting shot again, and found bullet wounds in their places. Knife wounds appeared too. The cuts on your legs and arms backed fresh. Your tattoo started to bleed like it had when you got it.   
Everything hurt.   
You couldn't move, it hurt so bad.   
Tears burned your eyes as you tried to block out the pain. It hurt too much.   
What was going on?  
Why did you feel this way?  
/Someone/  
/Anyone/  
/Make it stop/  
Nobody came.  
You were alone.   
You sobbed as you felt the wound from getting shot in the chest appear. 

Then everything stopped.   
The wounds disappeared, as did the pain.   
You cried and got up. You looked around for anyone, anything that could've hurt you and done that to you. It felt like every wound you'd ever gotten had dragged itself forth and applied itself to you at the same time.   
You wrapped your arms around yourself.   
You wanted to leave. 

You turned around and took a step, stopping with a breathless gasp. It felt like you'd just walked into a knife.   
Or more accurately, stabbed yourself with one, you found out as you looked down. A hunting knife was gripped in your hand, and lodged in your side. You looked up, and found yourself staring back.   
Except it wasn't you. This was a more... empty version of you. It stared back at you.   
Then you saw tears, running down its face, mirror to your own. It was haunting. The emptier version of you reached forward and it's hand carded through your hair. It's expression didn't change at all as it reached its other hand forward, and pulled the knife from your side. 

You closed your eyes too the pain and hissed through your teeth. When you opened them again, you were laying in a hospital bed. You could feel stitches in your side, along with tightly wrapped bandages.   
Your father was on your right side, reading a book and holding your hand. Alex was on your left, carding his hand through your hair. Ara was at the foot of the bed. She looked more disappointed than sad.   
You tried to sit up, but Alex pushed you back down. "Stay down sis. You did some pretty serious damage." He sounded so sad.   
But what was he talking about?/

You woke up and blinked at the wall. It was your own bed. There was no hospital, no empty black space, no beach, and no hallway. Whatever that dream was about, you didn't really know. You don't remember ever stabbing yourself... Or that hallway. That hallway kinda freaks you out.   
3:57am.   
Might as well get up. You're not gonna be able to go back to sleep with that on your mind. You grabbed your phone.

December 13th, 20XX 3:57  
[hey al, did I ever happen to stab myself for any reason? Like somewhere in the side/kidney region?]

You tossed the device back onto your bed and got up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. This is hours late. Sorry I fell asleep while writing. :P enjoy this chapter


	97. Impulse

You stared at the ceiling. The memories from the nightmare haunted your mind except... You don't even remember the nightmare. The most you could gather was that you'd been hurt. It might've just been one of the war? You haven't had one of those in a while.   
You don't remember why you asked Alex if you've ever stabbed yourself. It seems like a pretty strange question to ask. He'd been confused why you'd asked in the first place. You left that with a simple 'never mind'.   
The tv was on and a documentary was showing. It was about some war. You're not sure which one. You haven't exactly been paying attention. There were a lot of black and white pictures. Lots of battlefields and soldiers. You don't know why you're watching it. 

 

Your phone was in your pocket as you stood on the corner. It was warm in your hand. The signal changed, and you walked across. You really need to find a place to stop, your leg is stiff and hurting.   
You turned up the volume on your headphones as you walked. The world seemed to just fade away as you walked. Nobody bothered you.   
You reached a park and sat down on a bench with a sigh. You couldn't hear the children's yelling. Your breath fogged the air in front of you. The sky was gray, a sign that it was going to snow soon.   
You sat there. Your phone was warm in your hand.   
You pulled it out and dialed Papyrus.   
You waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fell asleep again *zombie bleh*


	98. You tried

You waited for Papyrus to pick up. Yea, there was no guarantee he would. You just had to try. You waited as it rang.  
Voicemail.   
"Hey it's crazy crazy crazy that I've missed your call. Don't know why I bother with this phone at all. Just leave a name and number and a reason too. And I'll try my best... To get back to you..." Papyrus' voicemail came through. It's the same one he's always had, and it's to the tune of 'Live While We're Young'. It always made you smile, this time was no different. There was a beep and you sat there.   
Why had you called in the first place? Probably impulse if nothing else.   
You were still on voicemail. You tried to think of something to say. Something that would make everything a little bit better. It was hard. You sat there for a full 20 minutes opening and closing your mouth like a fish as you thought and rethought what you wanted to say. In the end. At 21 minutes, you sighed and hung up.   
You got up off of the bench and started walking again. It was cold, you needed to warn up. That was your excuse. You walked to a coffee shop and bought a caramel macchiato with an extra shot of caramel, and whip cream.   
You left the coffee shop with your hands wrapped around your coffee. You walked down to a bus stop, and waited there.   
Maybe next time you try, you'll actually have something to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have another chapter out in like 20 minutes if I don't fall asleep :P


	99. Papyrus POV

/I stood on the edge of a beach. Not next to the water, but on the opposite side, where dirt turned to sand. You were a ways in front of me. You looked exactly like the last time I saw you. Purple hair, hazel eyes.   
For some reason, it didn't feel safe here. I felt like I should pull you out of the open. But I couldn't. It felt like I was frozen in place. I couldn't do anything. You turned around and smiled at me. I smiled back.   
There was a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye, and I turned to see someone hiding in the bushes with a gun. He was focused on you, as was his gun. You were oblivious to it as you beckoned me forward. I couldn't move. You pouted, and I spotted someone else on the other side of us.   
I tried to call out, to warn you to duck. But it was too late.   
The shooters pulled the trigger, and their bullets hit their mark.   
You stared at me. You looked so betrayed and in pain. There was a hint of tears in your eyes before you collapsed.   
I still couldn't move.   
I screamed your name./

I woke up alone on the couch, gasping with tears of my own on my face. Nobody was home except for me.   
It's been eight months since anybody has heard from you. It hurts. It really does. Not knowing where you are, or what's going on, or if you're okay or not.   
The scream I heard that day still haunts me. Was that you? Did something happen to you?  
No one can say for sure. I wish we could. It'd put me at ease to know that you're at least alive.   
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out. There was a missed call and a voicemail. I unlocked the device and went to my phone logs.   
The last call was from you. So was the last voicemail. I clicked and listened.   
21 minutes of gaping fish noises, and then a heavy sigh. It was hard to tell if it was really you, since 'you' didn't actually say anything.   
I returned my phone to my pocket and got up to find a jar of honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! J didn't fall asleep this time!! Yay!!! Here's your other chapter


	100. Needle and thread.

You haven't really done anything all week. Mainly because it's been snowing all week. No way in hell were you going to do anything when it's below freezing and snowing. At least inside the house was warm and cozy.   
Ow. Fuck. You stabbed yourself in the finger with a needle. Why? Because you're sitting on the floor sewing up a hole in the couch cushion. You've never sewn or stitched anything. All you even knew was that you had to tie the thread to the needle, and feed it through what you were fixing, and tie it off at the end.  
The couch cushion was a gray color, and you were using green thread. You thought it looked quite nice. Though the sewing itself looked a little messy, it still looked nice. You flinched a little after getting poked with the needle again. God dammit why are these so sharp.   
"Having fun down there?" Victor asked from the stars.   
"Yes I am. At least I'm not listening to you and Gerald." You looked up at him through your bangs and grinned. You could see him blush. "Yea that's right. I woke up to that."  
"Well... Uhhh... Sorry...?" He chuckled.   
"Yea right. Go care for your boyfrie- ow! Dammt."  
"Ever thought of using a duller needle?"  
"Go fuck your boyfriend." You snorted.  
He grinned. "Now that I have permission, I think I will."   
You rolled your eyes and turned the tv on. You didn't want to eat what you did when you woke up. 

Another hole patched up. You glanced at your phone. You felt expectant, though you didn't know why.   
You grabbed your phone and unlocked it. Nothing has changed. No new messages, calls, or voicemails. You frowned and sighed before setting the phone back down. You turned the couch cushion around and started working on another hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S CHAPTER 100!!! :P


	101. Maybe another shiny red Mazda

You wandered around the dealership trying to decide which car you wanted. This was one of the few times you'd had to check it out. None of the guys, not even Gerald, would let you go to the dealership. It was really starting to Lisa you off. You had things to do. Sure Papyrus hasn't called you at all, but you could still try face-to-face.   
You could get another Mazda, but you hadn't bought that one. Mazdas were expensive. Cars in general were expensive. But why were you really thinking about that? You still had a good amount of money to work with.   
A dealer came up to you. "Hello miss, is there anything I can help you with?" He asked with a smile. You shook your head.   
"No. I'm just browsing till I decide on one."  
He nodded. "Well, what type are you looking for?"  
He wasn't going to leave you alone. He's a salesman. Salesmen sell things. He wants to sell you a car. You made an a face of indecision. Might as well humor him, right? "One that's small, fast, and red."  
He started talking and listing odd different types of cars, and which ones had different attributes. You added a few more things that you wanted in the car, i.e. trunk space and a back seat. He led you around and showed you different cars that had what you wanted.   
Then your phone rang and cut him off. You sighed and apologized before answering. It was Morison.   
"Would you mind answering your phone a bit more? And tell me where the fuck you e disappeared to while you're at it." He griped. You rolled your eyes in annoyance.   
"I'm at the dealership looking at cars."  
"Which one?"  
"One I want."  
"No, I mean which dealership RJ."  
"Nunya."  
"Nunya?"  
"Nunya business." You snickered. The dealer waited patiently.  
"RJ, c'mon, you know how I feel about you being on your own." He sighed through the phone.   
"Oh? So that's what your adamance about me not getting myself a car is about? You're 'worried' about me?"   
"RJ, be reasonable." You stiffened.   
"/Be reasonable/? Morison. You're the one trying to prevent me from buying myself a car. You're not anyone who can stop me from doing so. So if I want to buy myself a car, I'm going to exercise my right of free will, and buy myself a god damn car."  
"RJ, that's not what I meant." He huffed.  
"Oh really? Well maybe next time you should be a little bit more clear on what you do mean so that I don't get it mixed around in the future."   
You didn't really want to deal with him right now since you've had this conversation multiple times. So you do what you normally do when faced with a problem: you ran from it. Except not literally. You just hung up on Morison and turned back to the car dealer. "I'm so sorry about that." He had a weird look of concern.   
"If that was your boyfriend, you probably shouldn't be dating him if he won't let you buy yourself something."  
You chuckled and smiled at him. "Oh no, he's not my boyfriend. That'd be a bit weird since he's my cousin, roommate, and bandmate." You shrugged. "Nothing too important to worry about." He smiled back and returned to discussing how the shiny red Mazda in front of you would be a good choice.   
Hopefully if you bought it, you wouldn't almost die in it like you did in your last shiny red Mazda. Though that one did last a long time before that happened....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2am......... I need sleep. 
> 
> Speaking of sleep, well not really but it kinda relates.   
> I'm starting my college classes on Tuesday. There's this thing called sleep that I need now that I'll have double the work, empty social battery, fried mental capacity, and lack of will to do anything the minute I set foot into my home, from both high school and college (no. I'm not 20 and still in high school. I'm 17 on the 29th. Fight me.). So updates may not be every night for this reason. Though, I may just be kidding myself and stay up to write the chapter anyways. So thumbs up to over productivity! Yay!
> 
>  
> 
> (I'm gonna regret my life decisions by the end of February. Maybe earlier. Probably earlier.)


	102. Earth to specimen

You sat there, staring at your phone, debating if you should call again. What would you even say if you did? Something like "Oh, hey, I'm sorry I've been MIA for eight months"? No. That's not acceptable. He'd want a reason. A real, solid reason, not one of your lies.   
You sighed and sat back against the bark of the tree. It was rough through your hoodie. /Papyrus'/ hoodie. You reminded yourself. You've spent a good few weeks trying to get it to smell like it used to. Honey and cigarette smoke. But... there's always something missing from it. Something you couldn't identify. 

"Are you ready to go? Or are you just going to sit there all day?" Jimmie asked as he walked up to where you sat. He carried a bag of art supplies and a poster board.   
Right....  
You're helping Ginny with her science presentation. It's on cats. And who better to help, than someone who owns them?   
"Yea, yea. I'm coming." You said as you got up and took the poster board from him. The two of you started the walk out of the store. The tree you'd been leaning against was a fake. It would've been awesome if there'd been a fake stray cat too. You could've sat there and let the cat in your lap very mischievously. You could've also greeted everyone with a creepy "We've been expecting you." You grinned at your dumb idea. Jimmie glanced over.   
"What's that look for?" He asked. You shrugged.   
"Nothin'. Just thinking."

The two of you reached the car, and got in. Jimmie drove.   
In addition to everyone being very adamant about you not getting a car, they won't let you drive. Seriously guys, come on. The right leg wasn't damaged! It's not like you'll drive into another car on purpose.   
You stared out the window, and started to zone out as he drove.

/"Riley, get back here right now!" Ara shouted from the porch. You tried to block her out. You made for her car. You needed to leave before things got worse. Though, leaving may evidently make it worse.   
You wiped the a tear from your eye as you reached the car. You began to circle around it, but were stopped. You yelped as Ara yanked on your hair. Your hands came up to try and relive the pain as she pulled your head back. "You're not leaving." She hissed with a glare. "Not on my watch. Not /ever/!" She pulled you back to the house, thankfully, not by your hair.   
You tried to pull away, but she just tightened her grip on you, and pulled you inside. More tears fell as you watched the door swing close. Nobody knew what was happening. Outside, there was no one around. Inside, it was only you and Ara.   
She pulled you up the stairs. You let her. This was her domain. You couldn't do anything. She pulled you into her room. More tears streamed down your face.   
"Oh Riley." She said as she turned towards you. That sickeningly sweet smile was plastered on her face. "You know I love you right?" You stared her in the eye as her hand caressed your face. "Yes." You said, even though everything in you said "No."/  
"Earth to human specimen RJ. Do you copy?" Jimmie said as he snapped his fingers in front of your face. You blinked and batted his hands away.   
"I'm not a science exhibit dude. No need to talk like I'm a project."  
"Yeah, well, you seem way older than you are. Like some sort of veteran or whatever. You know how they are, always look like they've seen stuff we can't imagine and have this way of seeming like they're way older than us. You've got that. And you should probably wipe the tears off your face. Ginny will stab me with a pencil if she thinks I made you cry." He said as he unbuckled his seat belt. You snickered and smiled. He reached behind your seat for the bag of art supplies.   
"That'd be a great thing to see." You said, getting out of the car. He laughed from where he was.   
"Yea, no thanks. I don't want to get lead poisoning."  
"It's not lead. It's graphite." You snickered. He hates it when people do that, and the glare he shot you proved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo friends :)
> 
> Random question.   
> What do you guys think Jimmie, Morison, Gerald, Victor, and Harry look like? I can't remember if I ever described them, and I don't remember what chapter they were named in. *shrugs* just tell me what you think lol.


	103. Youd rather do this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd rather sit around and do nothing, than go out with a bunch of guys who are gonna get drunk and leave with some other girl.

You kept checking your phone. You kept entering and exiting the dialing app. You kept waiting. Debating. Should you call Papyrus? Berry? Alphys? Will they call you?  
You unlocked your phone again, and opened the application. You typed in one of there numbers. You've got the three memorized by now from how much you've done this. Even if you lost your phone now, you'd still be able to call.   
Morison cleared his throat from your door. You looked up at him. He scratched his neck. "Me and the guys are going out, do you want to come?" He seemed nervous. You stared at him for a minute before looking back down at your phone, then back up at him. He waited for your answer.   
You looked back down at your phone again before unlocking it again. The number was still typed in. "No.... I'm fine. I'll stay here." You said.   
"You sure? You haven't done anything much for a while. You could have some fun." He asked, a little more earnest. You looked at him with narrowed eyes.   
"You think that'd I'd have fun hanging out with a bunch of guys trying to get laid? How about no. I've got more important things to do than drink beer and be a wallflower." You snapped.   
"Oh, like sitting around and waiting for a call, that even you yourself, doubt is ever going to come?" He sounded like he thought that that was the dumbest idea. You glared at him.   
"We'll at least I still have hope that I can at least fix /something/ for once instead of running away from the problem and making it worse. So excuse me for deciding I'd rather sit here and wait for a god damn call, than go out and drink with a bunch of guys who are just going to end up leaving with some girl they're going to fuck." You were off your bed when you were done. Your phone was gripped in your hand. You were angry. And sad. A mix of emotions that really should just be left alone because they can easily turn into a hurricane. Morison was staring at you, a bit of shock hidden in the iris of his eyes. He sighed.   
"Alright. Just make sure you eat /something/." He said before leaving. A few minutes later, you heard the front door open and close as they left. You sat down on your bed and stared at your phone.   
It was another few minutes before you got up and went downstairs. You weren't going to eat. Not for a while. You didn't feel hungry. Instead, you barricaded the front door with the recliner, and put the wood pole in the gutter of the sliding back door. You closed all the windows and blinds. Turned off all the lights.   
Then you went and took a shower. Though, sitting in the tub, letting the water fall on you, hardly felt like a shower. You didn't move till the near scalding water began to cool off. Then you got up and washed off the days grime.   
The water was cold by the time you got out. The towel was soft and fluffy. Your clothes weren't so insulating. You went to your room and changed into fluffy pajama pants and Papyrus' hoodie. Then you went back downstairs. You still weren't hungry, but if you didn't eat something now, you probably wouldn't eat at all. So you heated up a bowl of soup sent over from Ginny's mom. It was chicken and broccoli or something. It was good, though the noodles tasted a bit like flour.   
After the bowl was put into the dishwasher, you sat on the couch and turned on the tv. You went to Netflix and pressed play on whatever the first suggestion was. You hadn't looked.   
You stared down at your phone as the beginning played. You unlocked it, and locked it.   
Call? Or not?  
It was unlocked when you heard the mechanical purr of an M-60. Your head jerked up at the tv. Men were being shot as they exited out of the front of an amphibian. That's not how it's designed nowadays. They exit through the back since coming out the front equalled manslaughter. Men drowned because they were weighed down by pounds and pounds of gear and couldn't get it undone. You paused the movie as someone else flipped over board.   
"Saving Private Ryan" was the title. You blinked before sighing and looking back down at your phone.   
It was in a call.   
Not voicemail.   
But a call.   
You lifted the phone to your ear.   
"Are you there..? Or am I just dreaming?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's wondering how I know about these guns, it's cuz I read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. They're discussed in the first chapter :P that's actually what gave me the idea for this story. The whole war time thing. 
> 
> Anyways. You made a call!!! Yay!!!


	104. Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and pap have a conversation

"Are you there..? Or am I just dreaming?" Papyrus asked. He was quiet, and sad. You sat there for a moment. It felt great to hear his voice again. But it also hurt like hell. He sounded so sad, and tired. That was your fault. You'd caused that pain.   
You both sighed in unison and you heard him stop on the other side. Guess you'd better say something huh? You stared at the tv and tried to think of something to say. The movie was still paused. Still frozen in that moment of chaos. It reminded you of your own dreams.   
"That depends," you said quietly. "What kind of dream would this be?" You exited out of the movie and scrolled through the other ones. You stretched out on the couch, trying to position yourself in a way that felt comforting. Like someone was holding you. Like Papyrus was.   
"I guess that depends on how this conversation goes, huh?" He said. There was a bit of hope in that statement. You smiled a little, but it disappeared. That hope could be directed two ways: towards this conversation going well and you figuring things out, or this conversation going terribly and the two of you ending it. You didn't want the latter.   
"Yea... I guess so. Um... listen...." You started, but he cut you off.   
"Hold on. Bro just got home, and umm.. He's kinda angry at you." You chuckled and waited. You could hear them talking, but not what they were saying. Sans sounded happy and like what you remember him to be. If they'd been talking about you, that probably wouldn't be true. There was a longer period of silence. "Riley..." Papyrus said quietly. You jumped a little. Riley sounded a bit foreign after being called RJ for so long. And the way he said it... It was so sad. It hurt your soul. You blinked away some tears.   
"Yea, Papyrus. That's me. Still me." You pressed play on a movie that looked interesting, and turned the volume down to 9. You pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and covered yourself with it.   
"Riley... What.... What happened? You pretty much disappeared for eight god damn months! Where were you? /What happened?/" He progressively got more... passionate, and his voice became louder. You sighed and stared at the tv.   
"Pap, first of all, I need you to understand that if I had had the choice, I wouldn't have gone AWOL for eight months, I wouldn't have done any of that and I'd be there with you right now." You wiped a tear from the corner of your eye. It was silent for a minute.  
"I missed you too. But I want to know why. Why did I have to miss you? Where did you go?"  
"Into a coma." You said with a short snickered. It just seemed like the perfect response to his last question. But... kind of morbid.   
"I'm sorry... What?"  
"Yea umm... A few days before I was supposed to start the drive back, I got into a really bad wreck. Totaled my car completely. I don't really remember it besides the pictures and the ugly scars on my leg. I went into a coma afterwards." You rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling.   
"So you've been in a coma for eight months?"  
You sighed. "No. That's the first four months. The last four months, I was in rehab, and Morison had lied to me about my phone being crushed in the wreck. Found it in his room a couple of weeks ago."  
"Then why didn't you call us? Any of us? Riley, we've been waiting for eight months to hear from you, to get /anything/ from you. We- we could've been passed this. You could be /home/." He talked quick, and there was a tinge of anger. You tried to breath.   
"Pap, I would've called you, and I thought about doing so, so many times. I just... all of the texts and voicemails...." You hiccuped. "It sounded like you guys didn't even /want/ me to come back. It sounded like you guys were angry with me, and I didn't know what I could say that would've been a good enough explanation...." You thought back on all the ones you'd read. How Sans' had slowly turned angry and dismissive. How Alphys' became urgent, and then stopped all together. More tears pooled on your eyes. Papyrus was silent on the other line. "You're okay, right?" You asked with a slightly broken voice. "You're safe? My mistakes didn't get you hurt?"   
What a stupid question. Of course he got hurt. Ara got her grimy little hands on him. It was your fault. You made the mistake.   
"I'm fine. I'm okay right now." He paused. You heard him exhale through the receiver. "It's not your fault Riley. You couldn't have known that would happen. You couldn't have done anything. She's imprisoned. She can't hurt me- she can't hurt /you/."   
He sounded so calm and collected, and you envied him. How was he able to sound so okay?   
You laid there and stared at the ceiling. You could barely hear the tv. The light glinted off of the steel pieces around the light fixture, keeping it in place. You could hear Papyrus breathing. It was so quiet from his end. But it was probably also quiet on your side.   
"Hey... Wanna get some Oreos and Wendy's sometime?" Papyrus asked. You smiled and sniffled.   
"Yea... That'd be nice..... Was this a good 'dream'?"  
"Yes. One of the best I've had in a while."   
Both of you dissolved into quiet laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need like, one of those word things you can find on Pinterest where it's like "here's better words to use instead of 'sad'" or whatever. :P


	105. Papyrus POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papy and Sans talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmmmm.... This might not be a very accurate interpretation of US!Sans but I did my best :P

I sat on the porch smoking my cigarette and staring at the sky. It was a clear, cold day. Geese still flew south across the sky. My smoke curled into the air, and I was reminded, for what seemed the millionth time, that you, for some reason, loved the smoke. You called me a dragon once. Papy the dragon. I smiled a little at the thought, and checked my phone.   
Nothing new. You were still doing whatever you've been doing since 7:00 this morning. It made me feel better knowing that you were alive, and okay, and did care. It was comforting knowing you still wanted to come back. It also made me sad to think that none of us (except probably Alphys) knew that you'd been in the hospital for four months. Nobody knew, and you'd been scared to even call us because they'd been angry you never responded.   
I dropped the butt of my cigarette on the ground and smushed it with my shoe. Then I went inside. Sans was inside. He was sitting on the couch doing a crossword puzzle. He looked up as I closed the door.   
"Hello brother. Might I ask why you seem to be in a better mood than usual? Have you gotten past Riley?" He asked with a chipper voice. I shook my head.   
"No, I'm not past her, and I don't have a reason to be." He frowned at me as I sat down next to him.   
"But... she hasn't gotten back to any of us for eight months... She doesn't care anymore Papy. I think you need to let her go. Your current attitude proves it. She's been gone so long, you've begun to think she's coming back. I mean, why else would all of her old clothes be neatly washed and put away?" He didn't sound thrilled about any of it.   
"Well, have you thought about maybe there's a reason she didn't respond?" I asked as I looked at him. He frowned a bit more and shook his head.   
"Surely she would have told us if something was going on. But seriously Papy," he looked me in the socket. "You need to let go of her. There's no guarantee she's ever going to come back. You can't hold onto the past.... It's hurting you." He looked down at his lap with a sad expression. I leaned into the couch.   
"What if, by some off chance, she did message someone back?"  
"Then she better have a good explanation."  
"And if she did?"  
"What would it even be!?" He sprung up from his spot and turned to look at me. "We've called her hundreds of times! Left her thousands of messages! What would have made her not get those for /eight months/, Papyrus. What in this entire universe could have made her stop talking to us besides the fact that she just doesn't want to anymore! She doesn't care! If she did, she would have called or /something/!" There was frustration in his eye lights, and I sighed. He was so sad when you left. He may have been a little more hurt than I was, you had, after all, lied to him about not thinking about leaving. When you stopped replying, he tried to look on the bright side. He tried to be optimistic about it. He tried to believe that you'd come back, and that you'd just lost service or something. But slowly, that optimism turned to pessimism, and that, to anger. He became angry that you wouldn't talk to anyone about anything, that you'd cut everyone off. He stopped believing you'd come back. Though, I don't think he stopped caring. I mean, if he had, he wouldn't be so frustrated he's on the edge of crying, right?  
"She's not coming back Papy." He said quietly. He bowed his head a bit to look at the ground. The tight grip he had on his crossword book loosened. I sighed and reached forward to pull him into a hug.   
"I don't mean to be rude or anything," I started. "But she is coming back, eventually. She told me herself." He snorted and shook his head.   
"Don't lie brother."  
"Oh, but I'm not telling a fibula." He elbowed me in the ribs and I chuckled. "She called me a couple days ago. We've been texting ever since."  
"Then why won't she message anybody else? Or call someone? And why didn't she answer anything...?" He sounded frustrated again, but also tired, like all the frustration and pessimism was making him tired.   
"She was in the hospital for a few months." He stilled and looked up at me with wide eyesockets.  
"What!? What do you mean she was in the hospital!?" He borderline shrieks. I winced.   
"She uhh.. got into an accident and it put her in a coma. When she woke up, she was told her phone was ruined, and she didn't have our numbers memorized." Sans' wide-eyed shocked expression turned into a sad look. His eyesockets started to fills with blue translucent tears.   
"Oh no... That's terrible. I'm a terrible friend. I should've had more faith in her." He rambled I pulled him into my lap, and tried to shush him as he started to cry and reprimand himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOO.   
> Someday, the update will just be me going back and editing every chapter, cuz like, I've been going back to find details (like what type of car she had) and I'm just finding these weird autocorrected words and its just like "wtf" so yea, someday will just be an editing day. Yay.


	106. Leg day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to use the title as a pun.... I don't think it worked.

You stood there staring at the sky, watching your breath fog in the air. It was a cold night, and the stars were bright in the sky. Papyrus had fallen asleep a good hour ago while the two of you had been texting. You wondered if he'd been looking at the same stars as you were now. Probably.  
You shivered and burrowed a little deeper into Papyrus' hoodie. It smelled a little more like him than usual. You'd figured out what cologne he used. You didn't know he used cologne. He says he doesn't do it often because it sticks to the hoodie, which was probably true. You smiled before going back inside. 

 

Your leg was stiff and it hurt. You were not all that okay. You'd gone to bed with pleasant thoughts, only to be plagued with nightmares and demons while you slept. Many had to do with Papyrus and the many millions of ways the call could have gone wrong. That had turned into your first battle, and then the one almost two months after that when you were under Lieutenant Harlow. Your knee hurt. You had been shot in the knee in the last one, so it made a little bit of sense.  
What didn't make sense though, was why your leg felt weak. You've been working on it for so long with Dr. Jack N. Jill. You still didn't like him, but he was helping you make progress. Your leg felt like jelly, and like it'd been asleep for hours. It hurt to walk on it, hurt to do anything really.  
You laid in bed reading a book on your phone. It was a rather boring book. It also made very little sense. The book was in the middle of a series you'd read as a kid in high school. You hardly remember it, so being in the middle if it was counter productive to remembering it. You clicked to the next page and felt your phone buzz.  
You checked it. It was a message from Papyrus. 

Papy the dragon  
December 21st, 20XX 1:34pm  
[whats up]

[reading in bed]

[bed?]

[i feel lazy. and my leg hurts]

[oh, im sorry]

You smiled a bit. He hasn't changed all that much in his sympathy. 

[whats up with you?]

[at Muffet's]

[sounds fun]

You went back to reading after that. He seemed to be a little but busy. He always was when he was at Muffet's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a reasonable down payment on a car?


	107. Almost like its from a horror movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange things happen when your making popcorn and watching a movie.   
> At least.... That's what you've gotten out of this.

"Alright Pap, I love you. Good night." You said. He returned your good bye, and the two of you hung up.   
You laid on the brand new couch in the living room. It was brown, and had an elongated side. Remedy and Cinnamon were sleeping in the middle of the elongated sides cushion. You were spread out across the other section, the normal part. It was probably 9pm or something since the guys had all retreated to their rooms. You'd stayed downstairs to talk to Papyrus on the phone.   
You were also extremely comfortable. The hood of Papyrus' hoodie bunch comfortably in the crook of your neck next to the couch cushion. The garment itself was warm, and so were your fuzzy pajama pants. The wall rested against the back of your head, and the armrest supported your back. The position was comfortable, but would surely warrant a headache. You didn't move.   
Your arm rested on the elongated couch part, with the remote in your hand. You lazily chose a movie off of the On Demand list. "Children Who Chase Lost Voices". You figured it'd be good since it was a sort of anime-ish style movie.   
As you watched the beginning, you began to feel the need for some popcorn. If you got up, you may never get into this comfortable position again. If you didn't get up, the urge to eat will outlast your urge to stay comfortable. Which was worse? You paused the movie with a sigh and got up to go make popcorn. 

The steady sound of popping seeds filled the kitchen as you watched the bag slowly inflate. It was calm, and serene. At least it was serene until you felt eyes on your back. You stood there and waited for the feeling to go away. The popcorn was almost done when you felt a presence behind you. You waited a second longer until you were sure whoever it was was breathing down your neck, and you grabbed the butter knife. You spun around with it gripped in a way that would make it easy to stab someone right behind you. Except....   
There was no one there.   
You looked around the kitchen as the microwave stopped. The butter knife, although not an ideal knife, could still do damage, and was a comforting weight in your hand. There was no one in the kitchen. It was just dark. You hadn't had the light on. One of the corners seemed especially dark. You walked over to it and crouched down. It still seemed strangely dark compared to everything else. You waved your hand in the corner and traced the walls. Your hand seemed to disappear in the darkness. Strange.   
The microwave beeped to remind you the popcorn was done. You stared at the darkness a second longer before getting up and getting your popcorn. You returned to the living room and laid down on the couch. You used one of the extra couch pillows as a pillow, and the part of the couch the cats were asleep on was where your popcorn was. The movie was unpaused. The arm you were laying on was the one that you used to feed yourself.   
As you watched the movie and ate popcorn, you began to feel tired. Your eyelids began to grow heavier as you neared the bottom of the popcorn bag. You tried to stay awake to finish the movie, but you lost the fight. As you fell asleep, a weight settled in front of you, something laid on your arm. 

As soon as you fell asleep, you woke up again. You weren't in the living room though. You were in empty blackness. You were in the treacherous part of the void. You waited for the darkness to swallow you up. Fighting it would get you nowhere.   
A loud squeal type laughter echoed through the space, and footsteps sounded behind you. Fast footsteps, like they were running. You looked down at your feet, they weren't being swallowed by goop. The footsteps got closer and closer until they seemed to be within ten feet of you. You spun on your heel and went to punch them, but he was quicker.   
The familiar blue of Gaster's vest became present in your view as the skeleton picked you up and spun you around. He was blue. "It worked! It worked! You're here!" He squealed. You chuckled and hugged him back before he set you down.   
"I have to ask, what do you mean by 'it worked'," you said as he smiled down at you. He looked very proud of himself.   
"I pulled you back here! I wanted you back so I brought you back!"  
For some reason, that have you an uneasy, cold feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaster......... Is a bit obsessive..... 
> 
> And seriously, I've never bought a car, what's reasonable down payment? I need it for one of the next chapters. You can probably guess why lol.


	108. Arguments and plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster's pulled you into the void.

You looked up at the blue and orange skeleton. He looked so happy and proud of himself. It was nice to see him again, but... How did he get you here? He pulled you into another hug, squeezing you tight. "Oooooh I missed you so much Riley! I'm so happy it worked." He hummed in his gravely text.   
What worked? Nothing could actually be made in the void, that's what you'd come to understand. We're you your soul? What was going to happen to your body? You weren't going into another coma were you!?   
You pushed back from his hug and stared him in the eyesockets. "What do you mean, 'it worked'? What worked? How the hell am I here?" He giggled and smiled down at you. You could see a bit of his orange peeking in. This could be dangerous.   
"I wanted you back, so I brought you back." He said simply. You narrowed your eyes.   
"How?"  
"Ohhh yknow. A bit of magic here, some tinkering there. It was a rather long process, but at least your here now. That's all that matters."  
"Magic? Tinkering? Gaster, what did you do?"  
"I pulled you from the timeline."  
"/From the timeline/!?" You stressed the words. "So I don't exist there?" The skeleton shrugged.   
"Sort of. You're here, but your body is there." This didn't seem to bother him at all. It made you worry.   
"Okay, how do I go back?"  
"I send you back..." His orange was peeking through more now.   
"Okay. If I'm here for a long period of time, my soul separated from my body without life support, will my body die?"  
He shrugged. "I don't know. It's a risk."  
"Why does it seem like this doesn't bother you?"  
"Why does it bother you?" He snapped. You glared.   
"Because if my body dies, I can't go back to my fucking life, and there's a high chance I'll be dead soon after that!"  
"You don't know that!"  
"Well neither do you! Now send me back so that I don't fucking die!"  
"NO!" He shouted. Orange. You fell into a not so obvious defensive stance. "You are not leaving! I control this and I get to decide when you leave! You're not leaving! Ever! This is safer for you." His voice mellowed out and he went from orange to blue. "You'll be safe here. Everything'll be fine, and you'll be happy." He smiled at you, and it showed in his eye sockets.   
He had good intentions. He really did. But... Some thing's aren't meant to be and you don't want to stay here. You bunched your hand in his shirt and yanked him down to eye level. You tried to be as intimidating as you possibly could. "Send me back. /Now/." You growled. His eye lights shrunk and turned orange. He pulled away from you.   
"No. You're not leaving until I say so. You're safe here."  
You rolled your eyes, "safe from what? Living my life? Gaster, I'm human, I'm not meant to be here. I need to go back to my body."  
"You were here for four months! You-"  
"I was in the hospital! Right now, my body is on a fucking couch and nobody is awake! If my fucking body dies because of you, and my boyfriend has to go to my funeral after I /promised/ him I'd come home, I swear to whatever gods may be listening, that I will dust you. And trust me, I'm no stranger to killing." You hissed. He stared at you with narrowed eyes. Then, those orange eye lights widened.   
"Wait... you have a boyfriend?"   
You threw your hands up in the air with an irritated groan. "Yes! I have a god damned boyfriend! Didn't I tell you that before!? And why is it, that that's the only thing you focused on? Did you hear /anything/ I said!?"   
Gaster shrugged and looked away towards the other side of the empty darkness. "Not really. I've already decided you're staying here. Nothing can make me change my mind."  
The two of you stood there in silence. You couldn't come up with any way to get out of this. You didn't know how his magic worked. You didn't know if dusting him would send you back. You didn't even know if you could dust him. But this was still the void. There were an infinite amount of possibilities. You stood there with your arms crossed, and thought.   
Your side began to hurt, and you reached down to rub the pain away. The more you did that, the more a memory of sorts formed in your head. It was more a memory of a dream, than just a memory. A hallway with an old grandfather clock, a beach and a drawing of you as Pap, empty black space and searing pain of every wound accounted for, a knife, and a hospital room. You felt underneath the hoodie for the scar that was most certainly there. That had to be real, right? You glanced up at Gaster as you found the scar. It was old, and bumpy.   
An idea began to form in your head. There had to be something that would change his mind. Something you could do. A grin spread across your face as the thought process ended. This was the void, your canvas. A hunting knife formed in one of your hands. "Are you sure, nothing can change your mind?" You asked innocently. The skeleton looked at you skeptically. He nodded quietly. The small smile on your face turned slightly maniacal as you flipped the knife around and stabbed the blade through your scar tissue. His eyes widened as your squeezed shut with the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possessive!Gaster scares me a tiny bit. :P


	109. Fifth time ain't the charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haven't you died/almost died like five or six times?

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Gaster screeched as he rushed over. Every inch of you burned like fire. You grinned a bit. A thought going through your mind, 'for once, I actually did it.' You opened an eye as you felt Gaster's hands steady you as you wobbled from the fire like pain. You snickered as he freaked out.   
"An injured soul has to heal in its body right? Well, I'm injured. So send me the fuck back." The orange and blue skeleton fretted over the knife in your side. You're not entirely sure what's going through his mind. He looked at you with wide blue eye lights. There were tears in them, and you almost felt bad.   
"You're... you're supposed to stay.... I don't want you to leave. I brought you here. You can't just go now..." The blue translucent tears slid down his skull as he whispered in a broken voice. You looked up at the black void.   
"Selfishness can often lead to the loss of something important to one's self. Now..." you sighed. "Send me back before I die and you regret this entire encounter." He sobbed and pulled you into a hug. The magical tears seeped into the hoodie. "I don't wanna," he cried. You closed your eyes and sighed. This was such a peaceful way to die. By your own hands, not surrounded by a war, not surrounded by blinding lights and sirens. You were just in an empty void. Yea, you wouldn't mind the death, but you'd regret it. You've got things to do.   
The feeling of Gaster's arms around you faded away, and you felt a weird sensation come over you. 

 

Then, you were drenched in ice cold water.   
You gasped awake and choked on the water that rushed into your mouth. You looked up at the person above you. It was Jimmy. He looked very freaked out and scared. You sat up as you continued to cough. "Dude. What the hell was that for?" You questioned. He set the bucket down and tossed a towel at you.   
"Well uhhh... you... You kinda looked a bit dead.... Like literally dead, not the whole 'I feel like death' thing. I just had to make sure you weren't dead...?" He said a bit awkwardly, still possibly getting over the panic of you possibly being dead. You smiled and shook your head.   
"Well I'm sorry to have worried you, that was not my intent." You raked the towel through your hair. "Umm... What are you doing up?" He shrugged and turned towards the kitchen.   
"I was up doing a paper, got hungry. Then you looked dead...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently my subconscious is trying to tell me that I want a Mazda..... I don't know what that means. I know next to nothing about cars.


	110. Cars and sandwiches.

You've been eyeing it for a while now. It was a good car. Pretty much the same as your last one, just with less mileage and a cleaner look. The red Mazda 3 was a lovely car. It was only a little over 18,000. You could pay for it. Could probably split it between three of your bank accounts. You grinned at the car. "You're mine little guy." You turned and walked back to the dealer who had been getting the papers for you to sign and buy. 

Your phone vibrated in your pocket as you wrote the three checks. You ignored it and handed the checks over with a smile. "Thank you for helping me with all of this." You said before getting up with your new keys and leaving the office.   
Your new car was waiting for you with it's fresh polished look and new temporary license plates. It felt good to have a new car, and to just have a car in general. You started the vehicle and left the dealership. You ignored your phone as you took your car for a ride.   
New car smell is amazing. The seats were soft and comfortable. They weren't leather. That would've driven the price up, and you don't really like leather anyways. It's always so cold in the winter.   
You checked your phone as you pulled into an Arby's drive thru. 

Morisucks  
January 24th, 20XX 2:43pm  
[lemme guess... You're at the dealership]

You snickered and shook your head as you typed. 

[nope. In Arby's drive thru  
In my new car]

[danmit lady couldn't you have waited]

[nope]

You tossed your phone into the passenger seat and moved through the drive thru. You ordered a buttermilk buffalo chicken sandwich with a side of curly fries and mozzarella sticks and a large lemonade. 18.25 was your total. You drove up to the window and payed before going to the next one and getting your food.   
The food had an amazingly good smell, like the car. Except you weren't going to eat the car. You drove around before parking in a slot next to the park. You pulled out your food and dialed Papyrus. He was going to be happy.   
You could go home on your own.

 

You felt like you were being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea yea I know. More fluff stuff. I try, I really do, but sometimes it just doesn't go the way I wanted to. And maybe there's a subconscious reason I do this so much.   
> Or it could also just be that I refuse to have one catastrophe after another, otherwise this would be like a terrible action movie that just had a bunch of explosions and no plot. And people's lives aren't as action packed as media wants us to believe. 
> 
>  
> 
> And now that I've said that.   
> Anybody wondering why Gaster pulled you from the timeline????


	111. "I thought I could trust you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're betrayed.

You sat on the couch. Your back was straight, your shoulders square, your hands covering a pocket knife. You've been like this since the guys left. Ever since you got your car, and a few days before, you've felt eyes on your back. Someone was watching you. It wasn't a new feeling.   
You didn't flinch when you heard the whisper of the back door being opened. You didn't move as the floors creaked under the intruders feet. You hardly breathed as you focused on the wall ahead of you.   
Relax.   
Focus. 

There was a click as the cock on a gun was lifted. You didn't blink as you felt it close to the back of your head.   
"What're you going to do with my body when you're done?" You questioned. The gunman's breath hitched in surprise and you heard them take a step back.   
Blink.   
1\.   
2.  
3.

"Not gonna answer? Okay. At least tell me who would want me dead. I'm honestly kind of sick of dying and almost dying. Been through it over and over again.... But of course, you wouldn't believe me. Who wants me dead?" Your voice was steady and strong. You narrowed your eyes at the wall a bit to keep your nerves at bay.   
You were sick of dying.   
Of being killed.   
And you wouldn't mind it one last time. 

It's just terrifying.   
It's in your own home.   
Someone broke into your home to kill you.   
This isn't the middle of the streets where you'd know how to improvise.   
This was an enclosed space, your home.   
It felt wrong to fight. 

"Seeing as you pissed him off, You should know, Riley." A familiar voice said from behind you. You knew them. Him. But for some god damned reason, you just couldn't place it.   
"Buddy, I've pissed off a lot of people. And only a few would actually send someone to kill me. So please, narrow down the list a bit more."  
"Your girlfriend's in jail."  
You rolled your eyes with a snicker. "1. Ara isn't my girlfriend. 2. That's not technically my fault, at least not this time. 3. Thanks for telling me her father wants me dead." The hit man huffed. Guess having a mafia boss as a father had its perks. "But my question now is, how are you?" He became silent again. You slowly stood up, holding your now open pocket knife a against yourself. You turned around, the blade moving to behind you as you slowly faced the hit man.   
You kept your eyes closed from a blink for a short few seconds. Then you opened them and looked up. Your eyes widened as Jimmy's hardened, his finger seemed to be itching to pull the trigger. 

"Jimmy... I thought I could trust you...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yknow.... I thought about making this chapter longer, but it just seems soooo RIGHT to leave it there.   
> Anyways, yea. Sorry I didn't post the last day or so. Wrote some a chapter for The Rose that Bites and the Skeletal Wolf, and my one shot thing. *shrug* kinda have this thing where I only really do a chapter a day for some reason. Unless its on paper :=P  
> Anyways, have fun waiting for Mondays chapter.


	112. Paid the price.

"Jimmy... I thought I could trust you...." You almost whispered. His expression didn't change. You couldn't believe it. In all your 1046 lifetimes, you've never been betrayed, at least not personally. He didn't lower the gun. You tightened your hand around the hilt of your knife.  
"Well, that was obviously a wrong move. Thought you'd know better than to trust someone you don't know." He snickered.   
"But /why/ would you want to do this? We're friends. Friends don't kill friends."  
"Money pays. And you shouldn't have trusted me in the first place."   
"I was in a tough spot. I took the opportunity to get a roof over my head. That didn't mean I trusted you guys."  
"But you've 'been through so much' as her dad said. You should've known better. But I guess, now you'll pay the price." He grinned and you saw his finger tighten to pull the trigger. 

There was a loud bang as the hand gripping your knife came up. The knife left your hand. The bullet left the gun.   
You heard him gasp, and you grit your teeth and squeezed your eyes shut. Pain bloomed in your shoulder and you stumbled back. It burned.   
You opened your eyes to look at it as you slid to the floor. Your eyes didn't go to your shoulder first. There was a clatter as Jimmy's gun fell to the ground and his hands went to his side where your knife was buried. Blood seeped through the shirt around the wound. He looked so shocked. You snickered and slipped into hysterical laughter.   
"You should've known better than to think it would be so easy," you smiled at him. "But now you've paid the price."   
You didn't bother looking at your shoulder. Yours wouldn't be as damaging as his. The blade was serrated. You just had a piece of metal buried in your shoulder. No big deal. You grabbed you injured shoulder and put pressure on the wound. Moving would make your blood pump faster. You'd lose more. So you weren't going to move, even for a medical kit. You closed your eyes and sighed, beginning to hum some song. 

 

The rest of the guys eventually came home. The cops were called, you had to be taken to the hospital for the removal of the bullet. Jimmy may die while on the operating table so that they can cut the blade out with out tearing even more of his flesh apart. He lost a lot of blood from the time the blade found its mark, and the time the EMT arrived.   
For some reason, you didn't really care. He tried to kill you. With a gun. That's something you're pretty much used to. You could've disarmed him instead of waiting for him to pull the trigger. You could've done a lot of things, but you didn't. Betrayal was treason. That was a thing punishable by death in the war. If he dies, he'll get what he deserved.

Morison was driving you home and you stared out the window. The sky was clear and blue. The sun was beginning to touch the horizon.   
"You alright?" He questioned. You shrugged.   
"Physically, sure. Mentally, I don't know. One of my friends tried to kill me."  
There was silence, and you sighed. You think that nobody really believed he would do that. Sure he was an ass, but would he really pull the trigger?  
Well he did so.   
Yes.   
He would.   
For the right /price/.

You growled and smacked your fist into the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. Here's my birthday chapter. :P   
> Though its kinda day late. According to this thing.


	113. Time to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, you're finally doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't 10:11pm, I would've laughed manically.

You shoved another bag into your trunk and slammed it closed.   
You just had a couple more boxes to go, and you'd be home free.   
"So... you got shot and suddenly decided your going on a field trip?" Morison asked from the sidewalk as you moved some stuff around in the back seat.   
"No. I got shot and decided I was going home. If someone's out for my head, it's best to move around."  
"Sheesh. Why do you sound like some military dude that went AWOL?" He snorted. You paused for a moment and thought.   
Military personnel do move a lot. But someone who went AWOL just goes under the radar. They don't generally have people out to kill them. But convicts do, so do gang members. You got out of your car and shut the back door.   
"It's more like I'm a person that's trying to leave a mafia, and they're hunting me down to kill me because I have sensitive information."   
"That's strangely specific... Is that what's happening?"  
You laughed with a grin. "Nope. I pissed off a mafia boss and got his sweet little girl in jail." Morison's eyes widened to the size of saucers and you laughed some more. You walked past him and jogged up to the front door of the house.  
Inside, the last two boxes of your things, your shoe boxes of valuables, were sitting on the kitchen table. Gerald was staring at them like he really wanted to open them and see what was inside. It looked like not knowing was physically hurting him. You rolled your eyes and casually walked over. He looked away when you got close.   
The top shoe box was an old tennis shoe box. Nike you think. It was orange, and you haven't opened it in months, or maybe years. You pretended to open it and check that everything was present. You don't really know what all is in there. Just things you've found sentimental value in that made their way into your heart and prevented you from getting rid of. You saw Gerald watching as you went through the box. Some of the things inside included:  
A photo album of your childhood pictures, an old Sobe bottle cap that said 'Fist bump', a folded up poster of a collage of ocean/sunset photos, a few CDs that had videos (?) on them, and a book you don't remember the name of but remember loving it. You nodded to yourself, as if saying that everything was accounted for. You put everything back in the box, and added a bit of tap so that it wouldn't spill open on the ride.   
The second box was a black one that had once upon a time, held a pair of black combat boots. Inside said box, was stuff you didn't want Gerald to see. You knew what was inside. Stuff. Like the razor blade you used to carve all 1046 for the resets, or your old journal you wrote when your nightmares had just started. There was also a pistol and a few extra rounds in the bottom of the box.   
You tapped the box shut, and carried them out to your car. They went into the front seat. You wet back inside and grabbed your cooler of food and drinks for the drive. Gerald gave you a hug on your way out. You shouted goodbye up the stairs towards where you're pretty sure Harry was. You weren't sure. You haven't seen him all day. Morison was waiting by your car.   
"Still nothing I can do to change your mind?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. You shook your head.   
"Nope."  
"Then you're welcome for the 6 pounds of chocolate." He said with a smile. He gave you a hug, and put the cooler on the floor of the front passenger side for you. You hugged him before getting into your car. 

 

You sped 73 miles an hour down the freeway. You felt the car shift gears as you glared ahead.   
You weren't just going home.   
You were going on a man hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup dudes.   
> Yup. You're going on a man hunt. 
> 
> That may also be why there's a pistol in your box. I wonder when you got that hmmmmmm
> 
> Also, editing and stuff is finally starting, I'm just doing it on my computer, so it may take longer to do the stuff because I'm restyling everything. That also means some thing's may change. So yea. I'll tell you guys where I am with edit updates in my the upcoming chapters


	114. And the hunt continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled: Bars and Bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags that I'm too lazy to tag right now: sexual themes, alcohol, dangerous atmosphere

The bar was loud and crowded, full of dangerous men and women. You watched them all very carefully from your dark corner booth. The waiter came and set a beer on the coaster on the table. You silently nodded to him as he walked away.   
Someone new walked into the bar, and you directed your attention to them. Did they have what you need? Hmmm... no. They wouldn't know. They're not in the higher rankings of the crime hierarchy. You could tell by how they walked, and how people hadn't shut up as they walked through to the bar. You took your attention away from them and continued profiling people, searching for what you needed.   
You took a sip from your beer. Your pretty sure you asked for a rum and coke but whatever. You don't start fights with the bartenders in these areas. Could get you killed.   
Shouts from across the bar were ignored as someone lost a game of poker. You focused in on a man in the corner across from you. You couldn't see his face, it was hidden beneath the good of his jacket like yours was. He had a red head on his left and a brunette on his right. Probably a high ranking member here. Maybe who you need.   
You crossed your arms over your chest after setting down your beer. 1) to make sure your pistol was still there, and 2) to display hostility. No better way to get someone to come to you than to piss them off.   
You glared at him beneath your hood for a minute before looking around at everyone else again. There were a few other people who looked to be high ranking criminals, but bone of them showed any sign of what you were looking for. But that's the big question, what exactly was it that you were looking for in these people? You can't tell whether or not someone had information just by looking at them, so there had to be something else. You didn't know exactly what you were looking for. You just had a gut instinct that you'd know it when you saw it. 

You finished your beer as you looked back at the man in the corner. He still seemed to be looking at you. One of his girls was missing, the red head on the left. He was impatiently tapping his fingers on the table when the girl reappeared. She just didn't show up at his table; she appeared at yours. You looked up at her, careful to not through back your hood.   
"Is there anything I can get for you?" She asked sweetly. Her outfit was skimpy and showed off the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra, and that she already had quite a few hickeys.   
"No thanks little lady." You said in a more masculine voice than you'd normally use. You had to assume she was here to gather information on you since her buddy was watching you. She slipped into the booth next to you and her arm reached to slip around your shoulders.   
"Oh I'm sure there's something I can give to you?" She said. You grabbed her wrist to stop her from reaching all the way around your shoulders. The man straightened in his seat, his hand reached inside his coat. You narrowed your eyes and let go of the girl.   
"How 'bout another beer since your being so persistent?" That seemed to disappoint her, but she got up and headed to the bar anyways. You watched the blonde get up and head towards the bar as well. The man strategies his arms across the seats of his booth, and made a small motion with his hands.   
"Well?" He seemed to be asking. You leaned back into your own booth and mimicked his position with a smirk. With his open position, you took the chance to examine other parts of him.   
He had a black jacket underneath an aviator jacket. The black one provided the hood, and the aviator provided style. His gun was most likely on his left side for ease of his right hand. His right hand was sheathed in a black leather glove. His left looked mangled and like someone spilt lasagna on it. A burn scar.   
The blonde came with your drink instead of the red head. The red head went to him, and pressed herself against his side and looked up at him with what I could only describe as loving submission.   
The blonde crawled into your booth. If she was trying to be seductive, you'd give her a six out of ten. "Is there anything else I can do for you Handsome?" Her clothes also showed off her cleavage, and they looked like they were going to fall out of the crop top she was wearing. You snickered and shifted your gaze to her as she came a bit closer. For humor, you ran your hand up her neck and jaw. She shivered beneath your hand.   
Then you flicked her forehead. The look of lust on her face turned to one of shock and confusion. "I think you've got your pronouns mixed up little miss. Unless you like fucking girls, you can't do much for me." She blushed and smiled as she again, came closer till she could've easily straddled me. She licked her lips. "I've always wanted to try~"  
You rolled your eyes as you pushed her away. "Maybe some other time when you're not so slutty." You got up after putting a 50 under one of your empty bottles. "And, when I'm not busy trying to fuck your boss." To said with a sly grin. You laughed as her jaw hit the floor and you walked away. You saw him get up from his own booth as you walked out the door of the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay it's a chapter


	115. You're a bit crazy... Are you losing it?

You walked down the sidewalk, quickly, but slow enough that he wouldn't think you were running from him. His footsteps behind you were loud and determined. If this didn't go right, you could just end up dead.   
You turned right down an alleyway and stopped in the middle. You kept your hand on your pistol as you waited. His footsteps stopped a little way behind you. There was a moments pause before he launched himself forward.   
You turned around as his knife came at you. Your hand came up and grabbed his wrist as your ankle slipped around his. You pulled him off balance and pushed as much force as possible into him hitting the ground. The muzzle of your gun pressed into the underside of his jaw as you smiled. His hood slipped off and revealed his face. What a sight.  
"What the actual fuck bitch." Was what came out of his mouth. You tried, and failed to not roll off of him laughing. "Really? You could've fucking killed me and you're laughing? Who the shit are you?" That made you laugh a bit more as you got up.   
You heard him get up behind you as you walked a few steps away and tried to calm down. You hadn't been expecting that reaction from him. You waved your gun in his direction, and laughed a bit harder when he did some crazy ducking dodge move as he pointed his own gun at you.   
"Ooooh," you laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just that, I didn't think I'd ver get that reaction from /you/ of all people. Like seriously? You've been in worse situations. And you fucking survived the- well... not really but pretty much survived the apocalypse." You sounded somewhat... crazy while you talked. This entire situation made you strangely... giddy. It felt like you had an extra dose of adrenaline running through your veins, like you were waiting to ambush someone, or shoot their brains out.   
You always felt like this after some battle. It'd been like you'd reached a breaking point, and had launched yourself into an abyss of... something.... Whatever that something had been, it had been addicting. You strove to reach the feeling that came with the kill. It made you seem out of whack. And he probably thought the same now.   
He stood up and leveled his gun to your head. "Who the fuck are you?"  
You smiled and flicked your hood back. "It's ironic-" you turned around and smiled at him- "once upon a time, you told me you wanted me to come back alive, and now you're the one aiming a gun at me." You chuckled again. "Wouldn't you agree, Lieutenant Harlow?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey here's an update for you :P


	116. Jobs and banter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very strange chapter............ Sorry?

"Juniper? What the fuck?" Harlow asked. He looked very confused. In the dark it almost seemed like he was snarling; that hasn't changed since the last time I saw him. "How the fuck did you find me? And why do you look so... /normal/?" He seemed disgusted by the taste of the word. You snickered and shrugged.  
"We're not fighting for our lives and grasping for the thrill of the kill? I mean like, you look pretty strange too." You shrugged again. "By the way, names Riley. And as to how I found you... A magician never shares her secrets." You winked.  
He stared blankly at you. "Bitch you're not a magician. You're a crazy lady with a waving a fucking gun around."  
You pulled the trigger and watched as he stumbled to the side. The look on his face made you crack a crazed smile.  
"After all the shit we went through, yeah. I'm a fucking crazy lady with a gun."  
He narrowed his eyes. "Do that again, and you're done for /Juniper/. Now what the fuck do you want."  
You rolled your eyes and walked away from him towards the other end of the alleyway. The bullet hasn't even hit him, just flew past his ear. Now... Why were you here again? Oh that's right. "I've got a job for you."  
"Who says I'm accepting?"  
"Not sex asshole. Like an actual job I'll pay you well for."  
"Sounds like criminal activity."  
You snorted. "Why else would I have come to the guy who bragged about being apart of one of the most dangerous gangs in the country?" You paused before turning around to face him. He'd quietly followed you to the other side of the alley. "And unfortunately, this isn't the place to talk about it." He quieted an eyebrow then pointed his head towards the other side of the street.  
"I've got a place couple blocks from here if you'd rather go there." You nodded and the two of you continued walking. 

He opened the door for you, and the two of you went inside. On the walls of his home, were pictures of him and a little girl you assumed to be his daughter. The pictures showed the stages of her childhood and growing up to be what looks to be a well educated 17 year old. There were college applications on the coffee table, as well as a plate of plastic wrap covered food. The house looked fairly lived in.  
Harlow sat down on the cream colored couch in the living room and crashed his ankles on the coffee table. You stayed standing and looked at the photos around the room. "So... What's this 'job' you've got in mind?" He asked. He seemed more laid back than on the streets or in the bar. He seemed more like the one you knew sitting around a campfire waiting for orders. He looked like he was completely relaxed, but prepared for anything.  
"Need you to kill a man." You heard him sit up in his spot and look up you.  
"Kill someone? Damn dude what'd they do to you?"  
"His daughter is my abusive ex girlfriend who's commuted multiple accounts of kidnapping and torture. And in return for inadvertently getting her sent to jail, he hired one of my friends to kill me." You shrugged it all off like it was perfectly fine and you weren't in pain on the inside.  
"Oh... well then... Wh-"  
"You know him." You turned around and cut him off. He looked shocked and confused.  
"What?"  
"You know him. You've fucking worked for him." He got up and narrowed his eyes at you.  
"Shit you're not talking bout Lucio are you?"  
"If we've got the same Lucio then yes."  
"Crimson?"  
"Yippee you've won the lottery."  
"You want me to kill Lucio Crimson? Juniper, darling, I don't think that's even possible."  
"I'll pay your daughter's college tuition if you get the job done."  
He paused and looked up towards the ceiling. After a few seconds he looked back at you. Then he sat back down and stared at you. You waited.  
The look he was giving you was what people called his thinking face. Of course you'd know it. You fought along side him, planned attacks with him. You've also been his partner in more ways than one. He'd often get that look when he looked at you across the fire.  
You turned and looked at another picture. He stayed silent. You waited a little while longer before sighing and shaking your head. "If you're thinking about /something/ other than my request, I've already gotta tell you that it's a no. I've got a boyfriend." You heard him sputter a bit.  
"What the fuck? Why- why would you think that I- that I was thinking about /that/!? Dude! What's the hell!" You laughed.  
"Well you shut up and didn't give me an answer, so I assumed your mind had gone-"  
"If you didn't have a boyfriend would you?"  
"I mean probably but still."  
"Still what? You think I don't got what I used to?"  
"No that's not what I'm saying."  
"Then what are you saying?"  
"I'm asking you to do a job! Not to have fucking sex! Jesus fuck Harlow."  
He started laughing as you groaned into your hands.  
"See? You were thinking about it." You snickered. He threw a fry at you.  
"Bitch."  
You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall. "Will you do it?"  
"Sure." You shrugged and turned to leave. That was good enough. If he didn't do it, you could just screw him over for a few months. "On one condition though," you stopped and looked at him over your shoulder. He had stood up and was dusting off his hands. "Call your boyfriend-"  
"I'm not going to ask him to let me fuck you."  
"Then there's no-"  
"I'm paying your child's fucking college tuition!"  
"So? She's saving money. She'll be fine if she's in a little debt. You just want a man dead."  
"I will shoot you."  
"Kinky."  
You facepalmed and dragged your hand down your face before pulling out your pistol and aiming it at him.  
"At least call him and ask."  
"Fuck you."  
"Call him then and I will."  
You groaned and wished there was a wall to knock your head against. The two of you continued to go back and forth on the subject. It really pissed you off. Yeah, you'd fucked him during the war, but you've got a boyfriend now. And fucking Harlow would be considered cheating.  
He wouldn't take the job unless you agreed. So you finally found a loophole: he had to complete the job and then find you before he could fuck you. He pouted before relenting. Him relenting and agreeing to your plan gave you the chance to leave.  
You left his house and sprinted back to your car. It was finally time to head home. Like, actual HOME. You smiled and hit the gas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry. This chapter is just so all over the place. Job-> daughter -> sex -> Job  
> Idk. This was how it wanted to go.... So yea.  
> And yea. You and Harlow were fuck buddies during the war. Dont ask why (or ask idc). It was just kinda one of those random thoughts I had


	117. Almost there

The road was dark and your music was down low. Remedy was curled up in your lap and Cinnamon was sitting in the windshield. It was calm, and peaceful.   
Nobody else was on the road except yourself. You were driving down one of the more deserted parts of the highway, a part that policemen seldom visited unless they had to. There was no speed limit (65 had been the last one) you're going 79. There's no stop lights or stop signs either. Just smooth, empty road.   
You slowed down around a bend and yawned. You decided to take the long road home. Mainly because you had to go the opposite way of home to find Harlow, but getting the Crimson family off your ass was necessary. Now you're looping back around to Ebbot, taking a rather "scenic route" if it was daytime. You had another 700 miles to drive and about a third tank of gas left. Hopefully there was a rest stop up ahead. You had to pee.... You pushed a little harder on the gas. 

Pass go and collect your $200. You've got a full tank of gas, and empty bladder, and about seven energy drinks and 10 donuts. The dude that'd been at the cashier had seemed like he felt bad for you. Or for the both of you since he was also awake in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. You just smiled at him and left.   
One thing about how you're getting to Ebbot, is that your chasing the moon. Literally. It's been the middle of the night for you for the past couple of hours and its ridiculous. You're really tired, but you wanna get as far as you can before taking a nap. 

The lines on the road started to double up so you pulled over. It was, according to your phone, 3:24 am in the Ebbot mountain region. You were about five hours drive from home. Continuing to drive would be dangerous though. You could drive off the edge of a cliff and nobody would ever know... that's kinda depressing....  
You climbed into the backseat after turning your car off. You changed into a pair of basket ball shorts and a tank top before curling up under the blanket you had grabbed through the cubby in the seat. Your eyes drifted shut as Cinnamon curled up next to your head, and Remedy, next to your feet.   
You'd finish the drive tomorrow. You'd get home and surprise everyone. You'd apologize for making them all worry, and never leave like that again. Everything would be just fine...

/You stood on the porch waiting for the door to be answered. It was silent. You knocked again, the sound echoed. You looked through the windows, and couldn't see anything. You stood back and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh? We haven't had a nightmare for a while? Well then, let me steal a big fat panda's words and say SKADOOSH.  
> Anyways, yea. Happy update. Hope y'all had a lovely valentines day. I did, I got chocolates 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I had a mint panic attack yesterday because my brain was like "OH NO YIU HAVEN'T UPDATED FOR A MONTH" but that's one of my other ones lol.


	118. Nightmare with the police

/You stood on the porch waiting for the door to be answered. It was silent. You knocked again, the sound echoed. You looked through the windows, and couldn't see anything. You stood back and waited.   
You knocked again and were once again met with silence. You turned around to check the driveway to see if they were even home. What you saw, was not what you expected. The landscape was barren and empty. Houses were crumbling and cars were rusting. You turned back around and looked back at the door. It was rotting and hanging on its hinges. You pushed it open, and it gave a loud, ominous creak.   
This wasn't safe.   
You went inside. It smelled musty, and like something was rotting. There was a layer of dust over everything. In some places, it was thicker than others.  
You shakily pulled out a knife as you quietly crept through the home.   
The kitchen was empty, and there was a rotting bowl of tacos in the sink. The living room was dirty and gray. The couch looked like it was slowly being eaten. You skipped the bathroom and went upstairs. Sans' room was dusty and unorganized- it looks like he left in a hurry.   
Papyrus' room was as dirty as always, with an extra layer of dust. You could see your things tattered, and hung up in the closet with his. You slipped past the door and looked around some more. If you looked, maybe you could find out what had happened, where'd he'd gone, if he was ali- You froze as you spotted a crumpled up hoodie on the ground. Tears welled in your eyes as you saw the pile of dust that was peaking through the neck hole.   
You picked it up off the ground and hugged it to your chest. He was gone. You'd been too late. Again.   
What had you missed?  
What had you done to piss off whatever deities ruled the universe?  
What had you done to deserve this?  
There was a clicked of a gun being loaded, you looked to the side. Alphys, more scarred than before, had a rifle leveled with your head. She looked angry and afraid.   
"Who are you?" She demanded. You looked her in the eyes.   
Your voice wasn't your own when you responded. "Not Riley." It sounded foreign, empty, and full of guilt and pain.   
"Then let go of his hoodie, bitch."  
Bang./

KNOCK KNOCK.   
You jerked into a sitting position as someone harshly knocked on your car door. There was a light shining in through the window that had been above your head, and alternating blue and red light from the back window. You looked out the one behind you and saw a police officer. He looked rather concerned and motioned for you to roll down your window.   
You climbed into the front seat and started your cat enough to roll down the window. He came around and looked in. "Ma'am, is everything alright?" You nodded.   
"Yes sir. Just taking a nap before another five hour drive, sir." He nodded back at you.   
"Alright. Be careful." He turned and walked away. You rolled your window up and waited for him to get into his car and leave before you started your engine an pulled onto the road. It was roughly 5 in the morning, cars were starting to become more frequent.   
You thought back to what you could remember of your dream; Papyrus' dusty hoodie, Alphys with a rifle, and the ruined city. You were tempted to press on the gas a bit more to get there quicker so you can see and make sure everything's okay, but you didn't because you'd just seen a cop.   
You wanted to be home already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it's an update, and only like 24 hours after The Rose that Bites an the Skeletal Wolf. Good job me.


	119. You're Home.

You stopped the car and leaned your head against the wheel. You were tired of driving. Your back hurt and you had a headache gnawing at the left side of your skull. You pulled the keys from the ignition and grab the cat carrier with Cinnamon and Remedy in it. The door of the car swung open with a well placed shove. You got out.   
The city wasn't destroyed like in your dream. It was in pristine condition, minus the car that ran itself through a gas station near the highway.   
You sighed and walked up the empty driveway to the porch of the house you'd stopped at. You didn't have the key, so you couldn't get in. Instead of trying to find another way in, you slid down the door and sat on the welcome mat. It was cool in the shade of the overhanging roof. It was calm.   
Ara was in jail.   
Her father was being hunted.   
You were perfectly fine right where you belonged.   
You smiled as you relaxed against the door and fell asleep. 

 

You were awoken by the slamming of a car door. There were voices and they were getting closer. Cinnamon me owed in his cage, and you peeked an eye open. You saw a pair of gray pants, and khaki shorts stop in front of the steps. The voices stopped too.   
You were going to pretend to be asleep for funzies, but your body betrayed you and you yawned. Your eyes opened fully, and looked up at the faces in front of you.   
"I was wondering when you guys would get here." You said with a smile.   
Sans looked like he thought he was dreaming, and Papyrus looked like he was going to cry. Sans blinked and opened his mouth and then closed it again before opening it once more.   
"Exactly how long have you been here?"  
"Seeing as I was in the middle of nowhere with a five hour drive ahead of me at five am.... I'd say since about 10:30." You yawned before getting up and dusting your pants off. "And there's one more thing I need to do." You smiled.   
"Wait what? But you just got here! You can't leave when your finally back." Papyrus said in a panicked voice. You hopped off the porch and walked up to him. He looked so worried that you were going to leave again, you could almost see the translucent orange tears in his eyes. You smiled up at him. "I never said I was going anywhere." You whispered before hugging him. He hugged you to his chest as his face pressed into your hair. 

 

Days passed, and Papyrus wouldn't let you out of his sight. You didn't mind. He had a right to be worried you'd disappear. You spent most of your time getting settle in, and cuddling with him. Remedy and Cinnamon ran rampant around the house and reclaimed their territory. The other monsters were glad you were back as well.   
Currently, you were sitting with Papyrus in the living room. Alphys was also there, sitting in the love seat perpendicular to the couch. The news came on the tv, and you looked up as a new headline blazed the screen.   
"Notorious underground crime boss, Lucio Crimson, has been found dead on his home turf."  
You blinked at the screen and smiled. Looks like you could still count on Harlow to get the job done. Papyrus looked down at you as you shifted into his side.   
"Why're you smiling like that?"  
"That's Ara's father." You said simply. It was a simple fact. He was dead. You had nothing to worry about.   
....  
Except one thing.   
The smiled left your face as you looked back at the headline. You groaned.   
"Dammit I'm an idiot."  
Alphys looked over. "What? You kill him yourself?" Her cop side sneaked a peek. You shook your head.   
"No, I just made a bet with an idiot and bet something I shouldn't have."  
Papyrus snorted. "And what's that?"  
"Sex."  
Everything dissolved into awkward silence and you felt the need to adds tidbit of information.   
"Only if he can find me though," you looked up at Papyrus. "And-"  
"And finding someone who doesn't want to be found is really damn hard." He finished for you with a roll of his eyes and grin. 

It was good to be home. You'd be okay. Everything would be fine, if you just stayed where you belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess this is the end? I don't know where else to take this, so I think I've reached the end of my plot. I hope you guys liked it, and I'll get around to editing it soon. 
> 
> I've started another story, Life Over Death, if you guys wanna come along for the ride. 
> 
> :) see you around lovies

**Author's Note:**

> Helpful criticism is welcome and appreciated
> 
> Comment any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes.  
> Love you guys.


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